How do you contact a woman on Facebook?
First, you have to look at your mutual friends. Obviously, you couldn’t be looking at her profile if you don’t have a mutual friend. You’re not cruising Facebook – you’re just looking through other people’s friends.
Joe Smith sends you a friend request, and you don’t know him, so you look at his friends. You see Mary Thompson is one of his friends, and you add her as a friend.
And of course Mary Thompson confirms you as a friend – because the internet is a fucking popularity contest and everyone wants a lot of friends! Facebook and MySpace are like having 5,000 friends that you never talk to! They could give a fuck about me, but they are still all of my buddies.
But when I show up as their happy friend, it makes them feel popular. Being on the internet is like regressing back to junior high school. Don’t you feel bad on Facebook when you see someone with like two friends? You think to yourself, oh, what a loser, he’s got two friends! It’s ridiculous; it’s such a popularity contest.
So anyway, you go to this woman’s profile and add her as a friend. She will always add you, and then you send her an email.
Subject line: Man, Joe knew we would be…
I always like the dot-dot-dot because when it comes down to marketing yourself, you have to think like a business. Most people in the subject line of an email write “hello.” What the fuck, hello? Delete.
But you know when you get good junk email, and you swear that you don’t want to open it, and when you do open it, you’re like, oh shit, I got caught again! How did you get caught? They had a good subject line, right? So your subject line has to be something good that will make her want to open your email.
And then the body of the email: …that we would be great friends, so I added you. So now that you’re my really good friend, can you help me out with one thing? Who the hell is Joe Smith? He just appeared one day as my friend, and I’m hoping you can hope me unlock the mystery of Joe Smith. ☺
You do the smiley face so that she knows that you are funny and clever.
She’s going to open it, giggle and laugh, and she’s going to answer you back. You just became her buddy. Then your messages will go back and forth just like any other email exchange.
You have to get clever. Most guys are so bad at emailing.
Yeah, they’re bad. Me included
I just need more opps to practice that’s all.
Although, I am getting better at it so that’s a good sign.
Facebook is such a good platform to play and try out your “game.” If nothing happens, so what? I mean, really, so what?
But if you can get someone to laugh or remember you from your messaging interaction, then that’s worth it all.
As someone who is young (23) and usually on Facebook, this is fun stuff for me, although I don’t take it seriously because it’s all just interacting and having fun. Which it should be!
HA! I actually sat through your 11 min podcast on this subject. You hate myspace so much lol
Sweet, I never go on my own facebook much… now I have something to play around with.
I really like ur thoughts on the subject line.
Its like openin on the street; U have to peak interest fast or the girl is off to do wut she has to do.
I think too many guys get caught up on how to progress it from there tho.
U have to remember to get her on the phone as quick as possible. and then get her out to meet just as fast.
Then the real interaction begins…
Ha I remember that podcast, it was hilarious. David, you should do Dating comedy.
I think dating comedy would be an interesting thing to do! Because dating is comedy!
I have a nice problem but I don’t know how to convert.
A lot of women want to add me, I don’t know most of them. Some are really good looking, I add them but that’s about it.
( I haven’t got a face pic, just a pi of my hand clenched )
Not met up with one yet.
If I could learn to convert facebook, as we say in the UK; I’d be pig in shit!
Come on! You can’t seriously date on Facebook!
Just like Infinity, I’m young and in college too so I spend some time everyday con Facebook. It’s great to keep track of friends – old pals from high school, new from college and so – but not flirting.
Anyway, if you decide to flirt, don’t do it in public (like the wall) or change your status (in a relationship with) unless you want to become gossip.
Good topic for this week ! Too many of us men are resorting to the less tangible art of internet courting. I’m no different, in fact I found myself in similar situation whereby a prospected female was displayed in a few of my friends pics, my intial instinct (and would do this again) is to comment on the photo. Of course as you pointed, none of which could be accomplished if it’s not someone who’s a friend of a friend on your list. My comment of the pic, was short and simple and funny. I made no reference to adding me or hey let’s talk, both are over-zealous movements that earlier. My female friend interim responded to me saying her friend would like to add me and she did. Now she’s on my friend list do I feel more popular because of it ?
The Patrick poster I find it hard to believe women are wanting to add you when all you have is a picture of a fist.
WHAT!?!? You are being satirical, right? “You do the smiley face so that she knows that you are funny and clever.” That is a joke and you are being very sarcastic? Right? You have to be because one, men + smiley faces = loser pussy and secondly men + pathetic attempts at dating via facebook = pathetic.
To me, it seems like Facebook is a wonderful place to meet people and get dates. One thing that has worked for me as far as meeting and getting dates is that if you can get involved with a big social group that happens to have a Facebook group, there is a great potential to meet people. See, if you’re in a big group, you’re not necessarily going to know everyone, but you can get to know them if you simply say hello to them on Facebook. Sometimes, if I see someone that I think is cute or might be cute, I’ll send them a message and tell them that I saw their profile, and I think they’re cute. It’s fun to hear their responses, and you might actually get good responses and dates! Best of all, it’s absolutely free!
Dave
Katie,
Something about the vibe you’re sending out reminds me of what Paul Janka, a renowned NYC daytime pickup artist who’s also a Harvard graduate in physics, said. Akin to some of the physics principles like, “A body in motion will stay in motion,” or “A body at rest will stay at rest,” he stated that “A difficult woman will remain difficult.” — how true it is; unfortunately, I think you fit this category.
Katie is probably having a bad day. Thank David for the abundance principle
Kate
Are you one of those women that are super critical of everything and judge people on your narrow views?
By the way i always use a smiley face and i am damm proud of it:)
that way people can be 100% sure of my intentions!!!
and i use exclamations as well:)
Kate must have had a conniption seeing all these smiley faces in these comments.
Katie what’s your facebook page
lol
Katie, I hope you’re not just saying that because you hate men already.
Maybe David didn’t really mean it that way, in the end your opinions matter.
HI Katie.
So what does a real man do in your opinion? How would He express emotion in an arena where expressing your intentions is extremely difficult?
I really would like to hear from you. You intrigue me!!!
)