Explain Yourself Sexually
March 21, 2009 
7 Comments
A lot of times when women are with a man for the very first time, they really don’t know how to explain themselves sexually. Do you know that’s really important? A lot of women don’t understand this. It’s also true that a lot of men don’t understand it.
A lot of women fake orgasms because they never explain themselves sexually to a guy. Â Recently I was having a conversation with a woman and she said to me “I don’t understand. A lot of my friends fake orgasms. Don’t the guys know?”
I told her “A lot of guys don’t know. If a woman moans the right way they don’t know. A lot of guys don’t realize that when a woman has an orgasm – especially from intercourse – her muscles in her vagina will be spasming.” Not only do a lot of guys not know that, but a lot of guys don’t pay attention to that. Some guys just flat out don’t care.
Regardless of that group of men, what’s important for women to know is that there are a lot of us men who DO care. Many women don’t realize that.
So to women I say this: Be really open and communicate openly sexually what your desires are and what you like. If a guy is performing oral sex on you and it doesn’t feel good or he’s missing the spot, then show him where the right spot is and how to make you feel good. Encourage him a little bit.
Guys will get frustrated because they are trying please you and they aren’t succeeding in doing it. By you being 100% open with them the whole time, though, you will eventually get to the place of having an amazing sex life together.
Start opening yourself up sexually. Â The thing is, a man’s ego is fragile and will get bruised when he doesn’t know what you want and when he’s not able to please you. By telling him what you like, what you enjoy and what turns you on, you will get a man to respond to you sexually like never before.
So, the next time you’re with a new partner and you get all shy sexually, neither one of you know what’s going on, and you fake an orgasm (or whatever it might be), start taking the advice from this guy and be open sexually with your partner. I can tell you nothing turns me on more than when a woman tells me what turns her on and what she wants.
Exactly. If us men are not doing it right, how can we improve and please you more if you don’t tell us? Good, honest feedback is really the only way people improve at anything.
Another great way to increase a woman’s enjoyment is to have her verbally tell you what feels good to her during the act. Don’t just ask her if it feels good and let her say “Yes/No”. If she says “yes” the lead and tell her to say it.
This will turn her on as you take the lead, increase her pleasure as she verbally re-enforces her pleasure, and cause her to backwards rationalize that it was an amazing experience.
The act of verbalizing how amazing something feels actually amplifies the feeling. This is why it feels good to tell a good story and it feels bad to tell a depressing story.
Use the power of words to increase her pleasure.
David Gideon
This goes both ways, communication at any stage of the relationship is important.
Girls too want to know if we can get better. We all have to express to each others what pleases us, thats why sharing our fantasies before sex gives so many hints to both parties.
Being open about what turns you on is correct. But what turns off the mood is when the guy says: don’t be so instructive. Well if the guy knows then let him figure it out the best way he knows how. No one can get anyone off but themselves. I like to let the guy know where my sensual spots after I know that we are going in for a real relationship, but if it is one of those hey baby lets go to the boodwah and get it on. Then mister you wont get anything out of me.
By nature, men are providers… we want to bring things to women… and it translates into the bedroom too. We want to provide pleasure and fun in the bedroom.
If the woman opens up, it makes thing so much easier.. and well… so much more fun.
I personally love it when a girl tells me what she likes.. b/c I’ll do it… but sometimes, I’ll show her a little bit more… if she didn’t know something
Marina, if you believed that, you wouldn’t pull a fit when someone tells you that they are not interested in you as a partner, but more as a friend.
I’m a woman and I like sex but truth be told, I wouldn’t describe my sexual experiences even as average. And I’m talking about years of being in three different relationships and some one- or few-times encounters. I’m generally a patient person, too patient most of the times. I do tell what I like; I nearly draw a map to all my long-term boyfriends. The quality of sex didn’t even stay bad, through time it went to worse and worst. By that I mean that he came a few seconds after he took off his pants during the argument that at least some foreplay is necessary. (To that I was given an answer that he read in a book that it’s not, that I’ll become moist anyhow).
Telling what you like is great, gives awesome results (I assume so) but only if the other person listens.