Embrace Your Wonderful Life!
December 24, 2008 
17 Comments
Happy Christmas Eve to all …. and a happy Wednesday to those of you who are not celebrating Christmas. This message today (although inspired by a classic Christmas movie) applies to everyone!
Do you remember these poignant words which the angel Clarence said to Jimmy Stewart’s character George Bailey in It’s A Wonderful Life?: “Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he? . . . Dear George, remember no man is a failure who has friends . . . See George, you really had a wonderful life. Don’t you see what a mistake it would be to just throw it all away?”
I know know how stressful the holiday season can be. I will get stressed out too if I have to watch one more Zales diamond jewelry commercial. Then again, if it is followed up by the Budweiser horses then it’s okay.
It’s almost the end of December 2008. Have you thought about how wonderful your life really is, or are you too busy thinking about what you don’t have?
If you’re a man, maybe you are wishing you were better with women. If you’re a woman, you are perhaps wishing that more men would approach you. You might be thinking about how much chemistry you thought you had with the last person you dated, yet they didn’t call you back.
The problem that I find coaching so many people that are single, is that they are always thinking about what they don’t have. When I coach someone, I find that they seem to only focus on all the things that they are NOT, instead of embracing all the things that they are.
It’s amazing how many people come to me who really want to learn how to approach women (or men), but they don’t want to put in the work necessary to learn how to do it. They don’t practice every single day, and they don’t embrace the small victories that happen every day.
What so many people do is they try something once, and if it doesn’t work then they quit. Last season, Peyton Manning threw six interceptions against the Chargers. He didn’t quit. He was down 21–0 and he kept coming back.
How is it he can throw six interceptions and keep going, but the average single person who learns a new approach will give it only one chance to work? They will try it once, and if it doesn’t work they’ll quit and re-embrace their fears all over again.
During this holiday season and in the new year, give yourself permission to try new things and new approaches. If you are only able to talk to someone for 30 seconds, then the very next day try to talk to someone for 35 seconds. Learn to embrace the small victories.
It seems though that when people are single, they always want to know ahead of time if they are going to succeed. They don’t believe or understand that learning to approach and connect with the opposite sex is a process that will have successes and failures along the way.
Recently a student of mine said to me “David, I don’t want to approach a woman unless I know 100% for sure that it’s going to work.” So I used the football analogy on him, and I asked him “Is there anything in life that’s 100%?” The only things that are 100% in life are, as they say, death and taxes.
So during this holiday season, give yourself some goals for the new year. You just can’t win the Super Bowl the first time you ever play the game.
So take a look at your life and where you are, and start embracing little gains. In order to become a master communicator, you need to put the time and effort in to make it happen. It’s not just going to happen overnight.
Every day allow yourself some practice time. Go out and flirt with two people today, and then maybe with three tomorrow. Instead of getting frustrated with yourself, start accepting the small gains.
In order for somebody to share your wonderful life with you, you need to first realize that your life is wonderful.
Today’s video will show you how you can comfortably and easily create an opener. It will help you as you go out there to do this daily practice and to get those daily wins.
I love this blog… The football metaphor especially resonates with me. We’ve all I think allowed ourselves to feel defeated at times with the misses, and forget to appreciate the wins. Being tenacious and seeing that this truly all IS a marathon not a sprint is some of the best advice we can all take to heart!
Hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas Eve!
Just wanted to tell you YOU’RE AWESOME!
I have been reading the game and all the other PUA stuff and it just seemed so fake. When I first saw your site I was like; oh well another one. But I really believe your blog is helping people a lot more than those routines. Nice job. Ever been to Denmark?
That is why so few people are succeeding and many give up. I had to learn that times when I almost gave. But I had to remind myself to not chase happiness but attract it.
Everything I do now its all about attracting. Its a huge factor for being happy, and having a peace of mind.
great blog D.
and everyone have nice HOLIDAY!!
Funny, but I was just talking with a friend of mine who’s bounced from one man to another for awhile now, and said the same thing. I feel so validated today! You do have to like you before others can…
Happy Holidays Everyone!
This post is right on the money. So many times, because of a previous hurt, people do not want to put in the time and effort it takes to build a great relationship. And they think that everyone they meet with is obilgated to be an intimate relationship before developing a friendship. Thanks David and Merry Christmas to You. http://www.365daysofsuccessesjournal.com
The way the Chargers were playing earlier this season, Manning could have thrown a dozen picks and still have won!
Great Blog David
My philosophy is u don’t know unless you try. Getting to know people and being friendly. Usually I am shy when I meet a person the first time until I get to know them. But once I do I am very talkative and then I will start to joke and cut up with them male or female. But there are times when I am silent. Happy Holidays to everyone.
What are your New Years Resolution:
Mine is meeting someone and being with them. Or helping out my close male friend.
Next time
I have people come up to me and ask me a question do you think that so and so will mind if I do something? I will reply I don’t know you need to talk to them about all they can say is no.
Merry x mas to all n u david, lets rock our lives people, r.i.p. to our passed loved ones n lets lead our lives with confidence, peace out
Hey David
I started this little journey almost a year and a half ago with a PUA site and it did work to a certain extant, it just wasn’t me, then I started looking at your stuff and taking your advice.
WOW this last year has been an amazing journey I have met so many new friend’s both male and female, I now have some great personnel relationship’s with some fantastic people and woman now genuinely like me and I have so many option’s of who I want to date, rejection is a thing of the past because I take what people give and don’t expect everyone to want to be my best friend.
I really do have a wonderful life and in part it is because of your insight’s.
thank you so very much my friend, keep up the good work.
Jeff
I’ve been stretching my wings and pushing through some barriers to practice my “guy talking” skills in public. At first I felt insecure about the whole thing, but then just started to be myself and not what I thought the other person would like to hear. Thanks David for the great blogs of encouragement! Otherwise, I think I would have just stayed in my secure little shell and never ventured out.
One interesting thing I’ve noticed… men that are married are so easy to make small talk with. I would never suggest that trying to find a relationship with a married man is the goal here. These are the guys you meet while shopping, at the bank, just randomly. But, if you happen to strike up random conversations with a guy, and you see the ring finger is taken, or he references the wife, that’s all good. I don’t consider the encourter a total loss. Instead, I’m using these encounters to practice my communication skills and be relaxed and comfortable. I don’t expect it to lead to anything, but it’s good practice for me.
Merry Christmas to everyone!
I absolutely love the message of this blog. You never know what lies ahead until you take a few steps into that direction. For me, trying new things all the time is what keeps me sharp and keeps me entertained.
Kheim
Merry Christmas to you also. And A Happy New Year. I know this is David’s blog but what kind of New Year’s Resolutions do you have?
You are so right about embracing the small victories! It really is about the little victories that add up to big victories! Ever since I found you on the internet, I’ve had plenty of small victories that have built me up over the year. I am so much more confident now than I was back in January of this year. Since getting a divorce, I’ve started with emails, went to text messages/live chat, then telephone conversations, then dates here and there, and now I am actually able to hang out with a guy and get to know that person and feel comfortable. I did even kiss a guy, but that didn’t really feel comfortable. Am I a goober b/c of that? I’m not quite to your level, David, but small victories is quite an achievement to me over the past year!
Deb – I have to agree that I feel like married men are “safe people” to talk to. What is even better though is when you start talking to single men and you find that they accept you and will actually talk to you. My stomach still goes in knots sometimes but I feel so good afterward especially when the guy is really cute and his voice starts changing. I know that he is nervous too. Its really quite funny!
Ok – I do have a question as I type this though. What is up with the professional male who is clearly nervous, won’t make eye contact, but catch him looking and enjoying the conversation? Am I supposed to be doing something at this point? What if it is in a professional setting?
Gabrielle- since I’ve been venturing out with my social conversations, there’s this guy at work that is talking to me more. I’ve had my eye on him for quite a while, but he kinda falls in the shy guy, sorta nervous, but seems interested category. I continue to be myself, and smile enough. Our conversations are starting to really flow and we find lots to laugh and talk about. Usually I tend to want things to move on at a fast pace, but visiting with this guy is showing me that just taking it as it comes and feels comfortable might just work out too. Perhaps that is what your professional guy is like. Another thing I’ve learned, you can’t change a person, or put all your efforts into one person. Someone pointed out to me that while I might be concentrating on just one guy, I’m not even noticing if someone else is trying to get close. And then there’s just the frustrating days when “boys are stupid” will cover it, and tomorrow’s another day. LOL
Great blog David as always! Hope you and Daphne had a very merry christmas! Here’s to the new year and meeting some wonderful men!!!!