There you are, alone at a bar waiting for your friends to arrive. You are standing at the bar only a few feet away from a woman who is also standing alone at the bar.
This woman is beautiful. She is everything you think you want.
You see her take a sip of her drink, play with the straw, look at her watch and check her cell phone. She looks around the room and, for just a split second, your eyes meet and you have a moment. Then she quickly looks down, and looks back at her phone again.
There you are, standing there alone at the bar with your hands in your pocket waiting for you friends. Apparently she is also waiting for her friends.
Your mind starts racing. You start thinking to yourself, “What can I say? What can I do?”
There are so many clues in this situation! She checked her watch. She checked her phone. Obviously she is waiting for her friends.
It is very easy to walk over there, look at her and say, “Obviously you are waiting for your friends. My friends are late too.” You could start chatting with her.
The problem is that your mind starts messing with you. You don’t see the obvious or, even if you did, you start to freak out the second she looks at you.
You start to ask all those questions in your head like “What can I say” and “How can I get this amazing woman’s attention?” Listen, though, to what you are saying.
You already have her attention. She already looked over at you.
It is because you are afraid and overcomplicate things so much that you don’t see the obvious signs in life. You don’t even see the wonder of this moment. You don’t even realize what a powerful moment this can be because you over-analyze things so much.
You have such a fear of embracing the unknown, that this is what is going to happen to you in this scenario: You are going to stay standing where you are and another guy is going to walk up and start talking to her.
Then her friends are going to arrive, and you are going to watch she and her friends get into a great conversation with him and his friends. When you go home, you are going to wonder what you could have done.
The truth is that you already know what you could have done. It is just your fear of the unknown that doesn’t allow you to do it.
Every day you need to face the unknown. Every day you need to push yourself to do something of which you are afraid.
Otherwise, the unknown will continue to scare you and you will end up dating women who don’t intrigue you and to whom you are not attracted. There is nothing worse than having sex with a woman who doesn’t intrigue you.
You also don’t want to ever end up in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t intrigue you. Fear of the unknown is what drives us to loneliness.
I talk more about how to approach women in any situation without feeling any of this kind of fear or anxiety. CLICK HERE to check this out now.
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I have a hard time challenging a women so I can increase my chances of getting a phone number, this goes hand-in-hand with embracing the unknown, I cant embrace the unknown becuase I do not know how to get better at challenging
Whenever she says something(gives me information)I try to use that to challenege her in return but it goes sour
Any tips on challenging a women with whatever she says or does?
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Very well said, i feel like it is the fear of the unknown thats really stopping us to do what we really want to do.
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The whole embracing part may take a little tiem but its totally worth it.
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I try to do this everyday, and somedays its tough but it is the goal that really motivates me to keep pushing.
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Nothing is worse than the fear of the unknown!!!!
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I will be implementing this starting this weekend. I have realized I read more than I do. And that may cause me to not do as many approach as I would have like to do.
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Very good blog today David. I just got back home its nice to always turn on the internet and read good blog or two.
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Its amazing to see how complicated we make the most simple things. How can we really master this fear?
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I would say approach more girls Iron man. Is that what you are doing now?
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jeff- yes i am trying to, do you really think by meeting more girls this fear will completely disappear?
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Iron Man: It will, it has for me. When you approach women all the time and have great conversations, it doesn’t seem so awkward and you know you can do it anytime you want. The simplest openers have worked for me and opening women is no longer something foreign.
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Hi David
I don’t know what motivates you but I think that’s fucking awsome. I am reading your blogs for quite a while now but the last 3 were so good. Your thoughts put me on the right track again. Thank you.
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“Fear of the unknown is what drives us to loneliness” – You nailed it with that sentence
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So I start reading this blog post, and it’s a great one by the way, very spot on.
But then, as I near the end, I notice that David brings up a huge point, and deep down it almost feels as if it was written just for me.
And I quote: ” …**the unknown will continue to scare you and you will end up dating women who don’t intrigue you and to whom you are not attracted**.
**There is nothing worse than having sex with a woman who doesn’t intrigue you**.
**You also don’t want to ever end up in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t intrigue you**.
Admittedly that same situation has happened to me on several occasions. I’ve learned that if you just take what comes easily without giving much thought to what your heart wants, you end up with the bare minimum, and yearning for something more. However, by taking chances and righteously pursuing that which you truly desire, you’ll have those great experiences. Not to mention it’s quite an adrenaline rush, all the while feeling truly inspired and genuinely happy about whom and what you’re dealing with.
Fear of the unknown is definitely what drives us to loneliness. I couldn’t agree more with that statement.
Wise words as always, thanks David
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You have confirmed what I often though was a problem. Including myself, I have five girlfriends that are attractive, intelligent, independent and fun loving women that are single with very few dates.
We have asked ourselves these questions? Are men imitated by attractive women that are independent and have their act together? Is there a supply and demand problem? In other words, have many women overall become too easy and available creating a less demand for good women?
We are six women that are very perplexed and somewhat disillusioned. Men please approach the attractive women at the bar. OK, it may not always workout, but then again, you might ready be surprised. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Deb
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