With the NFL playoffs on today I felt that this would be a perfect story to share with you today.
I read this a few months ago and just reread it today.
Enjoy and before you read it one last thought.
Eagles and the steelers!
I want to tell you about the story of Brian Boyle.
Brian Boyle was a zombie. In 2004, a truck smashed into his jet black 1994 Chevy Camaro, a month after he graduated from high school. From the article: “the collision forced his heart to the right side of his chest, collapsed his lungs, and splintered his ribs, collarbone and pelvis.”
“He lost 60% of his blood and was given 36 blood transfusions. He lost over 100 lbs on his presumed deathbed and died eight times just on the operating table. Just over three years later he completed the 2007 Ford Ironman World Championship in Kona, Hawaii.”
What did he say about this? He “used all of the negative things that were thrown at [him] after the accident as ammunition for [his] arsenal. When [he] crossed the finish line, [he] wasn’t Brian the sick boy anymore. [He] wasn’t the skeleton in the wheelchair – [he] was Brian the Ironman.”
He woke up from a two-month coma, and then “embarked on three years of intensive rehab, which included relearning how to blink and walk. He had only six months to train specifically for the Ironman, but most of his preparation, he said, had taken place in the hospital.”
He says: “My mentality was similar whether I was undergoing endless physical therapy sessions after the coma or pushing my body to reach the finish line at Kona. If it was learning how to blink my eyelid again or pounding through one more mile during the run, it was about the small goals. Pain was now something that I could conquer.”
So what’s next for him?
He wants to go back and do another Ironman.
What’s next for you?
You have no physical handicaps. You have only mental handicaps. You are allowing a weak mind – and your fears and insecurities – to dominate your life. You’re not willing to communicate with people because you’re not willing to push yourself the extra distance.
Some of you can’t push yourself, and some of you just WON’T. You know who I’m talking about here!
But read this story of Brian Boyle. Brian Boyle died eight times. You just have trouble flirting with the opposite sex. Which do you think is more challenging? Whose life do you think is harder? Whose comeback is harder?
Push yourself to be the best that you can possibly be, and stop with the fear and excuses.
Your brain is powerful. Your mind is powerful. You really need to start looking at it as the powerful entity that it is. You can create anything you want.
. Read this again and learn about him, and then tell me if you don’t feel inspired to get out from behind the computer and start talking to people!
Perhaps some of us younger guys who are stuck in a conservative and predictable lifestyle need to start acting as if we have only a year to live. David is nicely echoing the philosopher Martin Heidegger. We all share something very important with Brian, though in different ways: mortality. Imagine your internal organs decaying, and see how that makes you think about today. It’s a beautiful Sunday here in San Diego. Now, excuse me, but there are some ladies out there to whom I need to introduce myself.
It’s not just stopping a certain it’s letting them go. We can easily say his fight was harder, but everything is relative to what we ourselves has experienced. I we are not aware of what is holding us back we can not deal with it, nor can push ourselves to chance.
I myself had recently such a down/deressed drained moment and after working it out I could really understand when people are saying “I was so down, from here there is only on way and it’s up’ I can tell it’s an amazing feeling I fell this inner peace and glow I have not had for a long time. Very Empowering.
It’s about acknowledge what you fears/put down are and let them go. Here it really atleast helps me to write them down as a part of the process. I have never had any problems with letting go og maybe my memory is so bad I just forget about them.
Either way I have found The Sedona Method to be a nifty little tool. You can down load for free the main idea, you sign up for their news letter that deals with many different issues. I am in no way selling the Sedona Method but he is also connected to the Secret and all that fun. The guy behind the Sedona Method has also an interesting story behind his recovery from his disease.
David –
This reminds me of two of my favorite quotes – two very different guys saying the same thing in very different ways…but oh how true!:
“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.” George Bernard Shaw
“You gots to work with what you gots to work with.” Stevie Wonder
PS: I agree with your playoff picks for today…Eagles will run away with their game, and the Steelers game will be close, but they will win:)
Johann if you are in San Diego, what are you doing in here writing..get over to the Wavehouse and report back.
I definitely think that this a great philosophy to live by, and I find it very motivating to challenge myself to the “if I only had a year to live” lifestyle. I’ve always found one of my greatest difficulties is after I get out of a relationship I often struggle to get back out there and start talking to women again… I feel like my inner fears have returned and I’m starting from scratch. This is a limiting belief I’m trying to crush, because it’s just like riding a bike and everything within me that attracted women in the past is still inside me.
Wow, a truly inspiring story. I guess Brian had 9 lives…. and used 8 of them.
I did a triathlon (not an ironman) a few years ago and there was another entrant that had 2 prosthetic legs from roughly the knee down. I spoke with him briefly at the starting line before the race and was taken aback at his humility and attitude. I took a mental snapshot of him and waved at him several times as I saw him on the course that day. I got choked up when I saw him cross the finish line with his father running next to him. I’ll never forget that mental picture and his attitude. It always reminds me to never take what you have for granted or to find excuses to stay within your comfort zone.
Good blog David.
It’s 75 degrees in Glendale, AZ and the Cards are going to the Super Bowl!!!
Wow. That story takes inspiration to a whole new level. Thanks David!
“You got to take risks for the things you love.”
Thanks for a great blog, David. After reading it I just had to write my first post
This truly was an inspiring story. Reminds me of something Jean-Paul Sartre (while we’re at philosophy) once said: “A lost battle is a battle one thinks one has lost”.
You really teach much more than just seduction.
Wow this story reminds me of that other great inspiration story I read from “The Secret”. The story of the miracle man, a man who survived an airplane crash. This person sustained a broken spine, severed spinal cord, etc He was so severely injured that he could only communicate by blinking his eye, the only area of his body that he could move on his own. The doctors told this person that he would never walk on his own two feet again. The miracle man didn’t give into all this negative energy and set out small goals that he would be able to walk on his two feet again and out of the hospital. And you know what, he did accomplish his goal, and the doctors considered it a miracle. I just love these feel good inspirational stories. They are always inspiring and showing of the human spirit.
These awsome blogs always seem to come at the right time. Very Inspiring story
Push yourself to be the best you can possibly be.. (join the navy!) hehe that quote and the ‘’start acting like it was your last year” attitude is what I needed to hear. (minus the navy)
I am curently up in the northern part of Canada. I was in between jobs and an oppertunity came up that required me to live in a camp for a month. It’s quite the experience and even though I am isolated, at least there is about 100 people to get to know. I am building quite the social network with the help of David and others. You should always take full advantage of every situation you are in. I’m still undecided what line of work I shall throw myself back in after because I just took everything I owned and left my hometown. I have a good direction but I just trust everything will work out perfectly.
So I am living or at least trying to live like everyday is a gift and I try not to waste any. There is actually a good saying in the movie Kung fu Panda that goes something like this.
(Yesterday is history, Tommorow is a mystery But today is a gift. That is why it is called the ”present”.)
Allright I’m going to go and charm one of the only 4 girls here. hehe
p.s. Who is going to join me for the 2010 Subaru Ironman up here in Canada? Penticton is the beautiful city that I am now residing. Ill make room on the couch
Brian Boyle did it, what is your escuse?
Years ago I lost my brother to a terminal illness he died at the age of 25 years. One thing he taught me was life must go on. My brother was a fighter until he lost his battle. I look upon these people with outlandish respect at least they are willing to go the extra mile.
A person can do anything they put their minds to the mind is a powerful tool. Take my dad he had knee surgery now one thing he would not let me do is sit back and whine about some injury I suffered like the time I broke my arm well once the cast was off he gave me encouragement. After his surgery he was feeling down and I said to him: You would not allow me to sit back and whine so guess what I am not going to let u do the same. My dad in my life is my hero. He excercised and started to use that knee. He went back to the doctor and the doctor said u are doing a great job on recovery. If it weren’t for my dad and the way he raised me I don’t know where I would be today. My mom the same. The both encourage me everyday.
I was told once why sit back and whine just do it and get it over with. Whining about a situation is not going to change anything what matters is willpower. So what does a person choose to do sit back and hope it gets better or go out and do something about it?
Philadelphia Eagles 25
Arizona Cardinals 32
Pbbbtttthhhhhhhhhhhh. Who says the NFC Worst sucks?
I can tell u some other stories where people were paralized in accidents but too lengthy for the blog. But today they are survivors of many who died on Highway 12. Today my oldest daughter and I call that highway cursed. Highway 12 does not care who it claims as a victim.
I was in amazment reading this blog. it’s stories like this that make my motorcycle accident a year ago seem like nothing i makes me want to really get out and push my training the extra mile. It’s just a shame i only get a chance to read these blogs before i head to sleep its almost 4 am here in scotland (I work nights and study during the day, I dont just sit up all night!!)
I’m definately going to keep this one in mind truely insperational. I’m lost for words now!
Have a great day guys!
Thanks, David. Another great post.
David
Once again thanks for an amazing message of inspiration. If you remember I had some health issues that i sometimes still let limit what i think i can do. I have found by uncontrollable and self enforced circumstances that i can handle far more than my mental handicaps limit. Crutches is all they are, so reading this is not only tough but also liberating because i know that i can achieve the “impossible” if my mind,heart, and faith also, are aligned. Thanks and have a wonderful week.
This blog reminds me of the other blog about ” saying Thank you to the Universe”. Lucky are we who is still in better condition that we can do more things than the lesser one. Mine is a small problem compare to Mr. Boyle.
Actually I have also ailment (knee injury) for about six months now. Waiting for a surgery, I keep myself busy while offwork for 4 months now. I used my time reading more about Healthy Living and Self Development and tips from this blog.
At least we have employment insurance and Health insurance that we can depend on for a while. I’ll be back to work after recovery.
Thanks to David for this site.
It takes a “snap out of it” will and a “fuck it” attitude to really live.
lionking
I wish u well on ur surgery. Hint: When my dad went through with his it took him about 3 months later to recover to where he would not be using his walker anymore. But I pray all goes well with u.
Thank you Sandra. It’s almost 1:00 in the morning here and I am still awake.
Lionking go to bed, get some rest and tomorrow plz try some other places than wholefoods
I love this blog. When you are able to be thankful for what you have in life and embrace that, you are able to let go of the little things that prevent you from succeeding.
lionking
your welcome I know how u feel I fell on the inside of my right knee I was trying to keep my balance on some hickory nuts. The next day I said to my dad if ur knee hurt as bad as mine I feel sorry for u. Good Luck hey don’t chase too many nurses and if u find one let us know.
I believe that perspective is everything: View things in a new light, different side, or role.
There’s nothing like a good reality check for that ‘come-to-Jesus’ close-call gasp of relief that it wasn’t my fate. What on earth am I complaining about? By comparison, I have a charmed life.
I have seen my acquaintances brave the loss of children, parents, siblings, and spouses. They have died by every conceivable method and some pretty gruesome and/or lengthy. Been there. I ate lunch Friday with a guy whose wife served him divorce papers the day after Christmas while he was recuperating from surgery. My friend working to qualify for an organ transplant – still doing fine. We all need to put out some extra good karma because apparently there isn’t enough to go around. Guess that we’ll just have to make our own. Pass it on. Pay it forward.
Charity really does begin at home. If you are not good to yourself first, you will be no good to other people. They will not choose you if you can’t consider yourself a worthy choice in the first place. Your problems are as big or as small as you allow them to become. I am apparently open enough to be hit on again and strangers are stopping me everywhere to chat. Go figure.
Since someone else grabbed M, now is a good time to change that.
I suscribe to Men’s Health magazine and I remember reading about Brian. It is an amazing story.
I know I live with excuses and all, and I work to challenge them every day in all kinds of ways. Here’s my latest, I had been working on a writing project for the last ten months and when I write I do it in a style that I call method writing. I work on becoming the story for the ten months that I work on it. Nothing extreme, I just let the overall emotional core of the story become who I am temporarily. It is great work and I would never think of trading it for something less fullfilling but it is there.
The problem this time, is that this project dealt with a guy who is incapable of change and feeling good about himself is built around a guilt system that has gotten him immeasurable success at the sacrifice of feeling like a jerk half the time which he can’t admit to anyone because he knows deep down inside somewhere he is letting himself be controlled by a flaw, something I am TRYING very hard to avoid. If he has a good time somewhere, lets say Argentina, he also puts in a healthy amount of feeling guilty. He has no reason to feel guilty, it just appears and takes over his life. So, to put it in perspective and you can believe me or not, doesn’t matter to me either way, I adopted that attitude for the ten months I worked on this project and it felt like it was holding me back.
Here is my last excuse for 2009 in regards to meeting people. I promise myself not to become dependant on one of my negative leading emotions and to focus on being the positive and responsive guy that I have worked so hard to become over the last three years. I am making progress and now that I can take the partition out of my mind that had me act and think like my subject, I can make moves and be outside and be positive and find the people that I want to include in my life.
The best message from this blog that I received is that no matter what kind of changes happen in our lives we are always in control of how they make us feel and that is something we can always change if we want to.
Thanks David. You truly speak from the heart.
Take care,
Mike
Thanks, David for this blog! My life’s experiences have been so much like what happened to Brian Boyle. To explain and make this short I was literly at deaths door twice. Both times not expected to live. The last time I was in the hospital I was told that there was no hope for me that my disease had gone past the point of any hopes of survial. My doctor told me one evening…he was sorry and to be prepared to die. Because I had been ill for so long it was easy for me to except death which I did. I went to sleep and the next morning I woke up wondering where I was…I looked around and remembered I was in the hospital hooked up to an IV.
I wasn’t affaid… I was of clear mind and had come to terms of my death. In a heart beat a huge bright “warm” golden glow of energy flashed thought the hospital window and consumed my whole body and mind. This happened so fast there was no time to think of what this was at the moment I could only feel healing and love. This warm bright yellow and golden glow left as fast as it came.
My next thought was “I was healed, no more physical or mental pain. This left me with with a calm and knowing feeling that “I had been spared death”. It was very clear to me I was left here for a purpose.
I have worked hard for many years (20 1/2) to be mentally balanced and I now have become what God wants me to be. This ia a long story but to make it breif…I spend my days helping others and being clear of who and where I am in life. Not to take life for granted and to be forever thankful for another day on earh.
I am going to contintue with another post because I am not sure how long a post can be.
Dyan…….
I have pushed my self to be the best person that I can be today. I will continue daily to keep being a better person until my time is up.
Hey Guys,
Any ideas on how to start talking to a lady at the gym?
Now and then I read Cosmopolitan and in it. It will tell about what not to do with guys like in one issue how to tell if the guy is still hung up on his ex and what to do about it. Hey now hung up on the ex well then stay with her if u want a repeat of what u left behind. Then there is a part where u can read about sex with a guy. That is juicy makes me want to take a guy on. Then there is a part where u can let it all out. I like this magazine and other books that have knowledge in which I can use in my everyday life.
Great Blog David.
That’s very motivational story D.!
I totally believe we all have the potential to be greater than we imagine it to be.
Lionking: Hope you get better soon, wish you the best man!!
A little bit more of what has happened to me. I gave birth to a little girl and a little baby boy. They have both been taken from my life. First my son and then 3 years latter my daughter.
I have experienced great suffering in my life besides the ones I just mentioned including being abuse as a child both mentally and physically.
I am a survivor is one of the many things I have learned. I know to grow as a person… you do so by learning from uncomfortable experiences in life. If you don’t take the time to learn from these lessons I believe they will be repeated sometime in your life until you have truly leaned what your suppose to be like on this earth. So, I have come to believe that pain is a good thing.
It feels like maybe most people that are posting are much younger then I am. I’m 61 and have been living alone up in the mountains for over 3 years now. What I have learned is I am happy living by my self which I am very please to know.
In the last 6 months I have had the desire to meet someone for whom I could spent the rest of my life with. I have dated many men but done of them are close to who I am looking for. I am cute, educated, my log home and land is paid for and I am not afraid of rejection. I am wise to the dating thing with all that come with it and all that doesn’t. At this time I have several guys I am communicating with and have dated a couple of them.
Now, this is what I am trying to learn today. I met a man not too long ago. He is a person like I have never ever experienced in my life. We are like mirror images of each other. The chemistry is total magic. I have loved and been married but this person is unlike any man I have met. We have so many things in common that it feels unreal.
It takes 10 hours driving for us to see each other and spend time to really getting to know get other. He has had life treat him well. He has a wonderful loving family he is close with and so on. His one pain that he is dealing with now is a 19 year old relationship where he loved her and she unexpectedly left him.
So now.. he is very fragile and gun shy. I am a romantic person and loved to be loved. He is far from romantic and will never use the word love in signings his emails. They are always short notes in response to mine. They don’t even start with a Dear Dyan…or give me hope of a further relationship. He has invited me to come up and spend 3 days with him. He had to look at his calender first to give me a date to visit.
Do I let him go and let him heal at his own pace? He did say he hoped I would be part of his healing process.
Which I can tell he is in “no hurry” to find his partner.
At my age do I wait and hope or should I just go on dating the men that are very interested in me? This is one of the problems of ageing. I do have a couple of guys that I am also interested in but I am the type of person that is loyal to a person that I deeply care for. I don’t and can’t push him…..For me I don’t want to be here lonely for a partner day in and day out. Do you know what I mean?
Do I let him go and go on with my life? He never calls every night like others do. He never sends me letters by email. He is afraid.
I know this is not a help column but David and all of you that posts seem to be caring people and since I live alone I have no one to talk to. So…David and others what do you think is the wise thing for me to do?
Should I let go of this person that I have never felt this kind of chemistry in a man before? Then there is also the long wait that I am feeling that might be for a very long time.
This is a painful situation that I am trying to learn from.
Thank-you in advance for any help or idea’s on what to do…
Dyan……
Chris, Meeting someone at the gym should be easy. First you have it made because you are in a place to meet ladies with the same interests as you. Like exercising, they care what they look like and feel like. They most likely eat well too. I would think they are also educated and like themselves.
Much better then meeting a girl at a bar. That is just my opinion. Like attracts like.
I think every lady likes a warm sincere smile. Take a depth breath and go ask a opened ended question with a lot of confidence. The worst thing that can happen is she is not interested for what ever reason which could be many.
The worse thing that can happen is you have the confidence if brushed off to try again. We all lean from rejection. Hey! Maybe she will talk with you and maybe great things can happen!
Never give up!
Dyan……….
Your posts are great. Thanks Dave for everything, on knowing how to put everything in a different perspective. Thanks to you and David DeAngelo and many others like Neil Strauss, and Mystery, I have really out grown my insecurities although slowly, I have been building this vibe within me thats just keeps mentioning positive messages to myself everytime I get insecure about anything. Last night I went to a bar with some buddies and we all just had a blast, I was simply talking to tons of girls throughout the bar the entire night. We were there from 4pm until almost 1am. Just having a blast flirting and meeting different ladies everywhere.
To Dyan Mai:
>>>>>>>I’m 61 and have been living alone up in the mountains for over 3 years now.
This website sure attracts some characters!!!!!
>>>>>>>In the last 6 months I have had the desire to meet someone for whom I could spent the rest of my life with.
Well, that is sure scary for a lot of men, especially one that had a 19 yr relationship that ended badly! Why don’t you go for the 3 day weekend and go with the flow and enjoy it and the chips will fall where they fall.
At the end of the day, you got to go with your gut.
Personally, I think this guy will be too much work, not worth it. fyi….but go with your gut and enjoy the sex in the woods, how romantic:-)
To Dyan Mai:
Thanks for replying : – )
Dan, Thank-you for your personal thoughts! I believe you are correct….I do think this man will be too much work and not worth it.
As far as your comment about me being a character is also correct. I am a eccentric person…I am an internationally known artist and author. My work has been judged and excepted by the Smithsonian. I do know if you met me you would find me to be normal but ever that is.
Your comment about me living alone for 3 years would be scary for a lot of men is “not” correct. After 2 marriages that total 37 years of my life. Then adding 3 years of living together first totals 40 years of my life.
I felt the need to figure out why these marriages failed and Most of All to Live along to find out who I am. I did find myself. I learned that I am a very happy person and I could live a lone just find.
I don’t know if too many people could do that. Meaning I choose to stay here on my farm and not socialize with the outside world. Plus, I choose not to ever watch TV. I also found out that humans were meant to have a partner in life.
I live in a mountain town….the populations is mainly artists. We need peace and quite to produce our work. Our environment is also important.. we are surrounded by trees and wild life which is very stimulating.
This dating thing is all new to me. It is like being in my 20’s again. “Thanks to David and you Dan” I have learned a lot! I now believe there is no age difference when it comes to finding a man or a women to love.
All the same situations of dating has no age boundaries or too many differences.
Your welcome to see some of my work and a photo of me at http://www.thedecoratedgourd.com I have been an artist all my life…that is my calling. I was given a gift to create… I am self taught. I give and share my gifts with others so when I give my creativity away I am filled back up again with even more to give.
Thanks again….
Dyan Mai, Diane Mai) Who is now going with her gut instincts…too much work and pain on my end no matter how incredible the chemistry is.
A question I have is: When you find a person.. where the chemistry is like you have never felt in your life time….meaning this man is a “Mirror image of myself” Would this be a healthy relationship? This is a very weird experience for me.
Thank-you for any replies!!!!
>>>>>>I also found out that humans were meant to have a partner in life.
Probably…but it is awfully hard to keep the same one for ever:-)
o>>>>Wuld this be a healthy relationship?
There is no way to know before hand, you got to give it time. Maybe the chemistry does not last or fades away…lower your expectations and go with the flow and just let things happen without pre expectations and prejudices from prior relationships.
Love your art work! Ever make it to the Ann Arbor Art Fairs?
Thank-you Dan, I believe that you can have “one” partner for your entire life. Both…must give 150% to make it work.
I know many ways to make this happen.
Like I mentioned above I have never met a man like this man in my entire life. That is what thou me for a loop!
It is most difficult to explain this in words.
In my search to figure out how two long marriages failed…I discovered both men were “Needy” and without me realizing I became a caretaker…an enabler.
I now stay very aware and stay away from guys who want to be joined at the hip. Men who bring up their abusive child hood and so on. Meeting parents their also can give a big clue of who they are.
I am a person that goes with the flow. So this will be easy for me.
I did learn a great tool while writing on this site. Next time… I have a major question and situation I am going to write the same words but not send them to a site.
While calling out for help because I was so confused and needed someone to answer back…I re read my long posts that I sent to this site. After reading them a couple of times I answered some of my own questions.
Thank-you for your kind words…I only do commission work or a one person showing in top US galleries. I do however teach classes here at my farm and studio.
You were the only person on this earth that responded to my cry for help. I want to thank-you from the bottom of my heart!!!!! You saved me from daily pain and further pain.
Dyan…who will never forget you!
PS….Never judge a book my its cover….Yes, I am a character…a fun and loving one!
Dyan,
Don’t keep for yourself next time you might have something you struggle with. Without knowing it you might helped some one else in their search for clarity. Besides was it not wonderful someone was there to respond and help you with your daily pain.
Great stuff you make.
I really like all these very personal stories that the commenters are sharing.
Funny thing is… we all have suffered in some forms or fashion. Some of us have suffered more than the others but in the end, what do you make out of it? Do you come out stronger from it?
I think it’s so important to realize that… we suffer… so we can really learn to appreciate the good in our life.
Suffering is not a bad thing… it’s really an opportunity, it’s a reminder for us to appreciate better all the good things we already have.
Hi Khiem, Your so right! Read my 2nd paragraph from my post on 1-19 @10:51. I am thankful for all my pain in life and would not change a thing if I could. It has made me the strong person that I am today!
I posted because dating is a new thing for me. I needed help from others is why I wrote. I don’t want to repeat my past men experiences. I learn a lot from them!!!
There have been times in my life where I just said: “Bring on the Pain I can Deal with It!
Bless you all!
Dyan………Thank-you Marina!
Dyan,
Just read all your thing.. pew that something you have gone through.
I am just no sure I would not see this guy. I see no reason why not. If he has asked you, he shows interest. Some guys are just very shy, he might be the type who warms up very slowly, just look at as an adventure getting to know another person, besides you never know down the road. If you have so much in common with a person I would always give it a go atleast as friends, otherwise you will always think I should have. Come go and see him, be a friend to him maybe more will come, but nothing will happen if you don’t do it.