Elicit Emotions
February 23, 2009 
8 Comments
Creating emotion in everyone you speak to will really make you memorable.
There is a reason why I encourage people to take themselves out on a date on a Saturday afternoon. In order to become a good date, you have to first take yourself out on a date.
Let’s say it’s Saturday and I have to go pick out a pair of jeans. While I’m out, I’m going to talk to everyone I see based on observations I’ve made. I’m going to share things with them. You can’t expect a woman to even be remotely interested in you unless you share something about yourself with her.
Look back and think about all of your stories. Let’s say a woman is on her iPhone. In your mind, you think to yourself, “iPhone? Shit. I heard it’s a pain in the ass to text on those things…”
So you walk over to her, and you ask her very simply, “How’s your day going?” A very simple opener. Right after that, you can look at her and say, “Man, I’ve been looking to get an iPhone for a while, but I heard it’s a bitch to text on. Is that true?” Say it with a smile. Be alive and alert.
Then you’ll get into a conversation where she’s telling you that she really likes her iPhone, and you listen carefully to what she is saying and respond to what she is saying, directing the conversation.
Being excited about what she is talking about will create an emotion in her. Don’t just stand there and think to yourself, “I have to ask her out!”
Asking her out is nothing. Asking her out is something that is going to happen no matter what. If you go in and show her your enthusiasm, she’s going to want to go out with you, and she’s going to remember you. She’s going to have a nickname for you – you’ll be iPhone guy or whatever it might be.
You have to have this enthusiasm for everyone that you talk to on your Saturday date. And it will be a long day, trust me. If you think about it, going out at 11 a.m. on a Saturday and coming home at 7 p.m. – that’s a lot of fucking hours. It’s a long day. And you’ll still want to go out that night and do it again, right? It’s like a full-time job.
But when you go and you talk with enthusiasm to anyone, your job will get so much easier.
Let’s say I’m talking to Rey while he’s piling a whole bunch of disgusting food into a box at Whole Foods (which you’ll get to see in person if you ever attend one of my bootcamps!) I can look at him with a smile and say, “Oh man, that’s nasty!” All of a sudden, Rey will start cracking up, and then a woman will look at you and see two people smiling and having a good time. She’ll start reading the energy.
If you’re the person leading the conversation, she’ll start looking at you as the leader and she’ll start being more attracted to you. You have been leading the conversation – you opened the other person, you talked, you listened and you transitioned the conversation into something deeper.
She will start to get turned on by you, and she’ll find some reason to drift over to you. It’s like magic. This is what she’s looking for – most people are walking around in this incredible coma. If you look at most people, they spend their entire lives in a coma. They just live in a cloud.
Hey David,
I am going to print this post and put it on my fridge. You have hit the nail on the head. Amazing how you manage to change the perspective in just one page. Thanks a million!
Love,
The first impression is a lasting impression. When I walk into the store and I know someone I will say hey to them and ask them if they are doing fine. When a customer walks up to my counter I will greet them with a smile and say Hello how was your day. Sometimes the customers can get into lengthy conversations as I am checking them out. Some are silent we talk about things from politics to the weather. Sometimes if I am checking out dog or cat food. I will say hey you have a puppy/kitty cat. Then they will start telling the tales of their animals. A smile goes along way with everyone and being friendly.
I read a quote on a Starbucks cup yesterday and I thought it was perfect for what David teaches on his blog, so I saved it until I could write it in the top of the comments space on a blog.
Here goes.
“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
How was the bootcamp David?
Mike
That’s funny Mike, that was the same one I got last time on my Starbucks cup, a memorable quote indeed.
The more I go on dates, the more I feel it IS just about eliciting emotions and connecting, and what you said David on having it be effortless; in the broadest sense, it’s kinda Tao and letting things fall as they may. If it were meant to be, excuse the cliche, then it simply was meant to be. When interacting with someone it’s like experiencing the feeling of flow in sports competition where you’re fully on-point and focused yet relaxed trusting in the natural process unfolding itself.
“You can’t expect a woman to even be remotely interested in you unless you share something about yourself with her.”
- I would argue this is probably the best advice anyone can give.
Too true!
So true!…Emotions are like different flavours, you always leave someone with an impression
of who you are with your energy. Its magical how it all works really, a brief encounter with a man can
leave a lasting impression just because of the emotions you felt at that time.
David – that is the most amazing post about how to open people without openers!!
People are so in their own world during the day that a little laugh, a little warmth can make all the difference.