Today I am posting below our first womens video.
Its time we gave the women of our site the same treatment and great videos that the men get.
But first you all need to read about how ego ruins you.
Do you know what ruins the possibility of most relationships taking off?
Ego always ruins it.
Here you are, hanging out with a woman you’ve been out with three or four times. You’re getting along great, and you know it. You’re having a good time, and then all of a sudden, one of you gets scared – which always happens. Someone always gets scared.
So all of a sudden, she stops calling, or she doesn’t text you back right away. And what do you do?
Your ego works to protect yourself, and you basically say to yourself, fuck it – it’s not going to work out.
In reality, your ego was actually just protecting you from becoming even more vulnerable.
Then you rationalize to yourself by just submerging yourself in work or whatever it is. Your ego is just trying to protect yourself the whole time.
Life might just take one more phone call. Call that person out and say to them, “hey, what’s going on? I don’t get it. You and I were having a good time, and then you disappear. What’s going on?”
By calling somebody out on their shit, you’re going to get a response that will be far different than you ever imagined. Maybe she just needed that extra push.
Women like to feel safe. Maybe she did get a little bit scared, and when a woman gets scared, what does she want? She wants to be protected by her man.
A real man is going to make her feel protected and make her feel safe. That’s what women are craving – that feeling of safety and security. Women are nesters. Women are looking at you as a potential husband or father, and they want to feel very safe.
And by you saying, screw it, and just walking away, you proved to her that that little doubt that she had about you was 100% correct. Just because you didn’t want to become vulnerable and you had to protect your ego. You wanted to save face.
And who might you be saving face from? Her friends if she talks to them? If you call her and just tell her what’s up, she’s going to go to her friends and say: “Joe called, and he just wants to know what’s going on with me. What should I do?” If her friends know that she likes you, all her friends will be encouraging her to call you.
So your ego just protected you from nothing.
You have to lose the ego. If you really want a true, spectacular relationship, drop the ego. When you go to meet somebody, drop the ego. Stop worrying about what other people say and just live your life to the fullest every day by becoming vulnerable.
Todays video is all about how women can attract men everyday.
Wow, I knew that us guys had ego issues, especially during the initial approach. But I never realized how this applied to women as well. Very insightful blog today David!
When a woman stops calling or writing you back, that means she’s not interested in you anymore and wants you to take the hint.
I find the ego interuptus to be a huge turn off… I’ve met several nice men who had all the right stuff going, except they throw the ego at the waitstaff, a store clerk, etc. Automatically I think, if he can be that way with these strangers, it would be so easy for him to direct it at me; does he have anger issues? is he grossly insecure and overcompensating? I find it disrespectful, and that is a huge turnoff. On the flip side; I have done the same at times out of nervousness or my own insecurities… tsk tsk on me. Thanks David for pointing this out.
what about women texting and she said Stop SMS me anymore!!! and yet she called and mentioned the same stuff. i just tease her a little bit and all of sudden this happened to me but i told her that just teasing only.
what should i do david? i do welcome evryone tips/advice here.
Please help me here
thank you
i knew her quite a while already… i believe she still mad with those SMS teasing. how can i win her back??
I know for me it’s very important to try and keep my self-esteem high and my ego low. I think in 80% of every romantic comedy ever made the guy gets the girl after he loses the ego.
Vern, poor guy. I thought you should stop trying if she called and asked you to stop. Some women play games with guys, but some mean it. One thing I am sure is both are not good!
If you did appolozise, you had done your job. You should be happy with yourself. But accept the reality which is a lot of things we can’t change.
will you spend your life with someone who got mad at something minor and let it run for long time?
Trying to win her back sounds like an ego to me too. see what David will say.
Hey, Deb, I dated a lot and never met anyone throw ego to waiters nor store clerk. In fact, I had my ego off pocket! hey, those store clerks were not innocent! If I were not treated fairly, I blow up! Now, I am getting smarter. I let their manager handle them! I met two guys picking at the homeless. Just tell nicely you don’t like that ! If it consistantly happened, you should talk to him. But It is not fair to draw a logical conclusion based on one time thing.
David, After read a lot of your posting, I am not blaming myself for those failures in dating anymore. I always picked up the good quality guys to meet. But I found that most of them were kids inside, and the worst is they had ego which kids don’t have. they have very little tolerance, no understanding of others ,very self centered and thinking negatively. less than 10% of those 30–40 yo has friends! 2 guys who had friends were much easier to approach! David, you will fail if you coach them to make friends.
did you read the profile on the internet that almost everyone claimed they are confident!
Vern, well, thinking about guys trying hardest in dating….If you called her more than 3 times, I would stop here. If you would try last time, just tell her”I tried all I can. if you change your mind later, call me and I always will be here!” Be a big heart gentleman and handle it gracefully. then stop calling her! You push the ball back to her now. leave the decision to her. move on with your life! I wonder in 3 months, if she calls, how you would react? You don’t know now! But, make yourself a winner! Good luck!
yeah it’s interesting when one person pulls back and the other person tries to one up them.. I’ve done this.. I figure if a guy can go 3 days without talking to me, he can go 4 days waiting for me to return his call.. really immature I know.. Next time, I will just call him out… although I know guys aren’t big fans of the “where are we” conversation.
Putting yourself out there once in a while is not too much to ask for. We do it in so many other aspects of our lives in order to get the results that we want. What makes this so different? And for some of us, relationships are some of the most important pieces in our lives.
It’s important t drop the ego and expose yourself every so often. Be a real person and people around you will appreciate you and be more attracted to you.
Sometimes, all it takes is just one extra push. Isn’t that worth it if you have the chance of stumbling across the answer to your eternal happiness?
Dear victoria,
thank you very much here. I’m glad you had answer the query. Sure….why not.. I always look forward
Vern,
You are welcome. My pleasure! When I got a new cell, a guy keeping texting me. Finally, I had to call him and told him that I just came to this area and don’t know anyone. I alos tried to imply him “you called the wrong person. you should get the right person!” I meant the girl he tried to reach was not right for his life. After that, he tried to dial my no. again to approve to himself I was telling the truth. Then he stopped!
I thought when there is problem in a relationship, it is ok to call, but just give other alittle time to call back or call again. Hold your emotion down! If she is not back, accept the fact!
You know, if one keep calling and the other finally changed the no. Would you feel really hurt, the worst?
YES! We are nice to others but we don’t want ourself get hurt, either!
Wish you the best!
Vern,
Before you even think of trying to win her back, you should ask yourself: why did she ask you to stop messaging her?
Are you being needy? Are you over-texting? Are you over-calling? Are you being weird or creepy in any form or fashion?
If you are an attractive man, you don’t mind listening to the woman’s needs and giving her space and time to respond to you in a timely fashion.
If you want to win her back, make sure you are being perceived as the fun and cool guy. If she sees you other than that, you will have to change your behaviors in a way that will allow her change her perception of who you are.
hi khiem,
yeah… will do. I take your words an adviced too. thank you
EGO? Misrepresentation.
I quit online dating because of finding that most of the females couldnt tell the truth. They said they were petite( but weighed 275 lbs) I finally looked the word up in the dictionary. Petite, Having a small trlim figure One even told me that all of her friends said she was petite and she was 5ft9 and weighed 250 lbs. I am sorry but I like the petite women and have never dated a woman over 5ft6 or over 120lbs. Am I supposed to excuse them for lying and take them out even though I am not attracted to them in any way. I am 58 and I work hard to stay in shape 6ft 180lbs. I am a kind and gentle man and want to hurt no one but I hate lies. I treat any woman with respect and expect everyone else to do the same. I have never abused a woman or a child and will not stand for it.
Gene… maybe they were so attracted to you and your well maintained 6ft, 180lb masterpiece of a body that they just had to ‘lie’ to you to meet you. If you fell in love with your perfectly petite woman, and then she unfortunately was mamed in an accident, would you still find her attractive enough, or would you drop her to the curb? So shallow. So sad. I think you have a little bit of ego churning, and a lot of anger. fyi; 5′6″ and 120 lbs. is on the average 10 pounds underweight according to health guideliness. But, I guess if that is what makes you happy, good luck.
PS Respect? Women? Children? Abuse? guilt? ick
Well my Dear I just spoke the truth. If she was maimed in an accident she would still be my love. I still love my ex wife and still pray for her. I stayed with her for 13 years and 3 children untill she decided that staying at home with the kids for 12 years as I supported her wasnt good enough, she went and found a boyfriend, in the first 6 years of our divorce she went through 11 live in boyfriends so maybe it wasnt my fault. Her own children will not speak to her and I have never said anything derogatorie about her in front of my children. I am sorry but I can not deal with lies and can not deal with overweight out of shape females. Does that make me evil or wrong? I am sorry if you feel that staying in shape is wrong. I have many friends and have time and again helped women and kids that were abused with out ever asking for anything in return. My exs 2 sisters refused to testify for her and told her they knew she was lieng and are still my friends. There mother left them at 16 and 17 to move in with her girlfriend. I brought them to my home and supported them and made them finish school. So I guess I am just a twisted ego driven person. I will pray for you too. Gene
Please do not add me to your prayer list, but thanks anyway. I have good friends and family for that. Take care of yourself. Best of luck.
According to statistics, more and more americans are overweight. Some do try to lose weight. Sad to say, most overweight people I have met have anger/depression issues.
I think what you say is true. I can put on weight but when I get more then 10lbs over I take it right back off and I can take it off in less then 4 weeks. Deb says 120lbs at 5ft6 is underweight well not in my book.
Hunter,
Most Americans are indeed overweight. It is not just statistics.
I didn’t think this way when I lived in New York City. In New York most of the people looked skinny, at least they looked skinny to me.
Since I moved to the country I realized that statistics is correct. Most of the people I see in my office or in a shopping mall are very overweight. It is not only because everyone drives here. I think, it has something to do with the food people eat.
oh, the above comments sound very harsh to my ears!
I live in not country, but sub. I was amazed to see alot of Attractive men here! I think Jessica lives LOW part of the country so that is why you saw so many overweight people. Why not quit that job and move back to NYC if you afford today!
would you care to tell how much you weight? never mind! I also think you went to the wrong shopping mall either. Go to a nice Dep. store and you may see some slim people!
Gene:
Have to say 120lbs at 5ft6 is slightly underweight even in a Asian standard, and that’s a 19 BMI, what? you said you can’t find this BMI term in your “book”? well then please do some search and research on internet.
You’re helping abused women and children, good for you, hope you won’t refuse helping overweight abused woman since you can’t deal with them. sizism has no much difference from racism…….and wish you’ll lucky enough that won’t end up with refusing by a gorgeous petite woman just because you’re over 55/ not making so much money….
but seriously, I think this overweight problem really depends on where you go, I live in Portland and people here are just slim and skinny.