Comments on: Don’t Make The “Boyfriend Mistake” http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/dont-make-the-boyfriend-mistake/1218/ Sex. Relationships. Dating. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Tue, 22 May 2012 08:31:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: chad http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/dont-make-the-boyfriend-mistake/1218/#comment-22813 chad Mon, 09 Feb 2009 01:40:53 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1218#comment-22813 i was just chatting online with a girl i've known a while....gone places with a few times....yes "the bullishite friend zone"....she just started dating someone......i went by that step of telling her whoever he is....he's a lucky guy......she was telling me thank you twice and how that's sooooo sweet et al! i think Wygant has the right idea....be her friend just not a damn doormat!....i read into the PUA stuff and tried it....i felt like a total asshole and not myself! i was just chatting online with a girl i’ve known a while….gone places with a few times….yes “the bullishite friend zone”….she just started dating someone……i went by that step of telling her whoever he is….he’s a lucky guy……she was telling me thank you twice and how that’s sooooo sweet et al! i think Wygant has the right idea….be her friend just not a damn doormat!….i read into the PUA stuff and tried it….i felt like a total asshole and not myself!

]]> By: jvreed http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/dont-make-the-boyfriend-mistake/1218/#comment-22287 jvreed Sat, 24 Jan 2009 18:13:05 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1218#comment-22287 Gotcha K. Like Dave, the aloof fun attittude has worked for me very well. I didnt mean you should totally ignore the girl but to make it so the man is not deterred by the "boyfriend" statement. Although I have found ignoring some statements intrigues women. Think of sometime youve been ignored by someone your attracted to-and let me know if that has created more intrigue and creates more social value to the man. This works well with your persistence idea since my statments acknowledge the girl (hearing the women) and moves on from it without lending to much credence and making the boyfriend an obstacle. My statements make the conversation flow and more about our possible connection and not "I wish you were my girl" as Daves lead towards. But the overarching idea is to have fun and display confidence. By the way I love this back and forth especially from the girls. Thanks Gotcha K. Like Dave, the aloof fun attittude has worked for me very well. I didnt mean you should totally ignore the girl but to make it so the man is not deterred by the “boyfriend” statement. Although I have found ignoring some statements intrigues women. Think of sometime youve been ignored by someone your attracted to-and let me know if that has created more intrigue and creates more social value to the man. This works well with your persistence idea since my statments acknowledge the girl (hearing the women) and moves on from it without lending to much credence and making the boyfriend an obstacle. My statements make the conversation flow and more about our possible connection and not “I wish you were my girl” as Daves lead towards.
But the overarching idea is to have fun and display confidence. By the way I love this back and forth especially from the girls.
Thanks

]]> By: K http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/dont-make-the-boyfriend-mistake/1218/#comment-22273 K Sat, 24 Jan 2009 03:54:05 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1218#comment-22273 jvreed - I think that your response to my response demonstrates exactly where the disconnect is: what you intended versus how it would be perceived from one woman's point of view. Women appreciate persistence. But we also like it when we think that men actually heard us. If men give us the impression that either they didn't hear a word that we said or simply chose to ignore what we said (being contrary to the end game)...just looking to make the sale, so to speak. Not a criticism - just one observation. If your way works for you, knock yourself out. jvreed – I think that your response to my response demonstrates exactly where the disconnect is: what you intended versus how it would be perceived from one woman’s point of view. Women appreciate persistence. But we also like it when we think that men actually heard us. If men give us the impression that either they didn’t hear a word that we said or simply chose to ignore what we said (being contrary to the end game)…just looking to make the sale, so to speak. Not a criticism – just one observation. If your way works for you, knock yourself out.

]]> By: Sandra Hutchens http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/dont-make-the-boyfriend-mistake/1218/#comment-22243 Sandra Hutchens Fri, 23 Jan 2009 20:52:30 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1218#comment-22243 Marina Dan the Original could not be that lucky even if he tried. In another blog I gave him the 1-2-3 steps and if wants I can add more. But for one thing I have a dad and a good one at that. Matter of fact he lives down below me with my mom. Marina
Dan the Original could not be that lucky even if he tried. In another blog I gave him the 1-2-3 steps and if wants I can add more. But for one thing I have a dad and a good one at that. Matter of fact he lives down below me with my mom.

]]> By: Sandra Hutchens http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/dont-make-the-boyfriend-mistake/1218/#comment-22242 Sandra Hutchens Fri, 23 Jan 2009 20:51:01 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1218#comment-22242 Marina I don't know what happened to Patti I think Dan The Original ran her off saying he studied something about the softer side of things and that David and the coaches could not help her. In other words like he tried to do with me in not so many typed words tell her she is not welcomed on the blog and she needed serious help. I read his comment. He is the one that needs help. Oh hears a hug for u and no offense taken. Marina
I don’t know what happened to Patti I think Dan The Original ran her off saying he studied something about the softer side of things and that David and the coaches could not help her. In other words like he tried to do with me in not so many typed words tell her she is not welcomed on the blog and she needed serious help. I read his comment. He is the one that needs help. Oh hears a hug for u and no offense taken.

]]> By: jvreed http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/dont-make-the-boyfriend-mistake/1218/#comment-22236 jvreed Fri, 23 Jan 2009 19:54:25 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1218#comment-22236 Thanks Dave I can tell your a stand up guy. Marina- I think your right about the initial tone of my post with the word "awful". Like you said words on paper, or in this case cyberspace, cannot show the true intention and there was no malice behind mine. I just knew it would grab attenttion. You also bring up a good point about Body language. As Dave suggested there is no magic bullet and sometimes arms crossed could just be the most eomfortable position someone is standing or sitting in. So my point is there is no one thing that is the end all be all in PU or in body language but an overall fun, positive attitutde and real interest in meeting people and experienceing life. Only then will somone be really attractive to others! Thanks Dave I can tell your a stand up guy.

Marina- I think your right about the initial tone of my post with the word “awful”. Like you said words on paper, or in this case cyberspace, cannot show the true intention and there was no malice behind mine. I just knew it would grab attenttion. You also bring up a good point about Body language. As Dave suggested there is no magic bullet and sometimes arms crossed could just be the most eomfortable position someone is standing or sitting in. So my point is there is no one thing that is the end all be all in PU or in body language but an overall fun, positive attitutde and real interest in meeting people and experienceing life. Only then will somone be really attractive to others!

]]> By: David Wygant http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/dont-make-the-boyfriend-mistake/1218/#comment-22234 David Wygant Fri, 23 Jan 2009 19:19:32 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1218#comment-22234 JV Reed Hey i never took it as a personal attack at all. But you will get to know me and once you do you will realize that i am totally up for any conversation. Life is gray and that is what makes it so interesting!!! You are correct it was my follow up after my remarks that kept the attraction simmering plus i had no intention of stealing nor seducing them. Spoke from the truth and this is why learning all of this takes time. Too many men look for the magic pill and really in life everything that is worth getting and achieving takes time. Feel free to call me Dave if you like......some of my best friends call me that, Keep up the great posts and thanks for sharing JV Reed

Hey i never took it as a personal attack at all.

But you will get to know me and once you do you will realize that i am totally up for any conversation.

Life is gray and that is what makes it so interesting!!!

You are correct it was my follow up after my remarks that kept the attraction simmering plus i had no intention of stealing nor seducing them.

Spoke from the truth and this is why learning all of this takes time.

Too many men look for the magic pill and really in life everything that is worth getting and achieving takes time.

Feel free to call me Dave if you like……some of my best friends call me that,

Keep up the great posts and thanks for sharing

]]> By: Marina http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/dont-make-the-boyfriend-mistake/1218/#comment-22233 Marina Fri, 23 Jan 2009 17:50:09 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1218#comment-22233 jvreed, I think as much as you might know about body language in real person, you have set a tone of "negative" signals with your original comment beginning with "Those original responses from David are awful". Similar to talking to a person that does not look you in the eyes or are standing with arms crossed, which signals a "negative" energy. K normal is pretty right on. I have read the rest of you notes and you do not come across as "hard" as in your first input. Just as in person when you oppose some ones oppinions you never start with defensive attitude. That one you do later when you just want to piss them off. :-) The problem with writing is that it's so hard to the other persons response to something you have said, hence much easier for misunderstandings which you normally in person would pick up on as you are across the person and can see their reaction. As with in person similar on paper you "never get a second chance to make a first impression". You can change it but your first impression tends to linger more and little harder to change. Welcome here though, maybe you can give us some tips on how to really make someone know you are not interested with you body language. Sandra I have a fun comment to you, but for some reason it is waiting moderation. :-) jvreed,

I think as much as you might know about body language in real person, you have set a tone of “negative” signals with your original comment beginning with “Those original responses from David are awful”. Similar to talking to a person that does not look you in the eyes or are standing with arms crossed, which signals a “negative” energy.

K normal is pretty right on. I have read the rest of you notes and you do not come across as “hard” as in your first input. Just as in person when you oppose some ones oppinions you never start with defensive attitude. That one you do later when you just want to piss them off. :-)

The problem with writing is that it’s so hard to the other persons response to something you have said, hence much easier for misunderstandings which you normally in person would pick up on as you are across the person and can see their reaction.

As with in person similar on paper you “never get a second chance to make a first impression”. You can change it but your first impression tends to linger more and little harder to change.

Welcome here though, maybe you can give us some tips on how to really make someone know you are not interested with you body language.

Sandra I have a fun comment to you, but for some reason it is waiting moderation. :-)

]]> By: jvreed http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/dont-make-the-boyfriend-mistake/1218/#comment-22230 jvreed Fri, 23 Jan 2009 15:58:00 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1218#comment-22230 K you have missed the point exactly. The "say Hi for me response" is a gloss over response not with a desired outcome. If you read my post its intended to be aloof "cool say hi for me, now let me tell you about when I was skiing..." Its a response to show lack of interest and to move on from the original I have a boyfriend statement. Your not actually telling the person to tell their boyfriend HI. You dont want to dwell on the issue of her having a boyfriend but to show yourself in a "fun- no big deal -lets see if we connect" light. A line is a line and I think some people are reading way too into each word when as Ive said and taught its body language, confidence and tonality that makes or breaks a conversation. K you have missed the point exactly. The “say Hi for me response” is a gloss over response not with a desired outcome. If you read my post its intended to be aloof “cool say hi for me, now let me tell you about when I was skiing…” Its a response to show lack of interest and to move on from the original I have a boyfriend statement. Your not actually telling the person to tell their boyfriend HI. You dont want to dwell on the issue of her having a boyfriend but to show yourself in a “fun- no big deal -lets see if we connect” light. A line is a line and I think some people are reading way too into each word when as Ive said and taught its body language, confidence and tonality that makes or breaks a conversation.

]]> By: MarinaTheNotSoOriginal http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/dont-make-the-boyfriend-mistake/1218/#comment-22227 MarinaTheNotSoOriginal Fri, 23 Jan 2009 13:52:00 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1218#comment-22227 K it's all you fault..you put me and Dan in the same sentence. LOL K it’s all you fault..you put me and Dan in the same sentence. LOL

]]>