Don’t Let Your Ego Kill It Again
January 29, 2010 
16 Comments
We’re all flawed. Every one of us is flawed.
If you are talking to someone you trust, honor and love and they tell you that your actions cause them pain and to feel things they never wanted to feel, do you defend those actions? Would you really listen?
In life, our ego is constantly protecting us. So many of you know that you are not good at meeting the opposite sex, but yet you always let your ego protect you.
Your ego will tell you, “Don’t worry. You just need a lucky break. Things will change. Spring is coming…” or whatever excuses your ego will provide you. Your ego may tell you, “There’s a party next week and you will meet somebody there.”
What you don’t do is anything to change yourself, because change is the toughest thing for you. Change means that we have to drop our ego and allow it to subside.
Nobody can change anybody else. The only person you can change is yourself.
You get out of life exactly what you put into it. So if you are in a spiral of life where things don’t work for you — whether that means disagreements with your boss, disagreements with your partner or not meeting the people you want to meet — it’s happening because you can’t embrace change.
It’s happening because your ego will not allow you to embrace change. Your ego is basically protecting yourself from embracing any type of change. We are all flawed.
I can’t stand when somebody tells me that I did something that caused them pain. I’m always about protecting myself.
Maybe the way that I deal with things is not the way they want to deal with things, and it causes them pain. So we’re all flawed.
So the next time someone challenges you about changing, do you react full of ego or do you react in an open way? The person who defends themselves is the person who is reacting out of ego, because your ego is defending you at all times.
My ego will defend me until the day I die. If you allow your ego to defend you until the day you die, you’re going to die alone and not having grown.
We all do things that annoy the hell out of people — partners, business associates and friends. If someone that you love tells you that something in your actions causes them pain, don’t look at them and say “Well this is how I’ve always been and no one seems to be bothered by it.”
If you like or love that person, you are going to say, “You know what, maybe that is something I need to work on and change in myself. Maybe that is a habit of mine, or maybe that’s the way I deal with things.” It really may not be that healthy.
Great blog again, David! Something new to learn.
I was used to be like that. I get pissed when people tell me I do this bad habit, I do that… I get defensive for something I did bad… I was resistant to change. My ego was always there to try to get me out!
But I realized.. .after going through so much change… learning from you, from my friends and from myself, that I evolve. Whether it be socially, mentally, physcially, I change for the better. But I’m still young, 18 yrs old, so I’m glad. I’m growing and learning.
It really make sense David. I realized how crazy my ego is. Sometimes all I want to do is read, and not go out and apply the materials I’m learning here.
Migeul- what was the hardest part for you to change?
I believe if we all can have a ego death, there wouldn’t be so much problems in the world. Most of the problems arises from our ego. Embracing change is a must in order to live our life to the fullest.
Jimmy-
I would recommend you keep a journal. I think I might have already told you this.
Jimmy-
Yes its a lot easier to read and stay home than going out.
It’s your fears that are holding you back.
That’s why i recommend you get a journal and write it all out.
Jacob- I’m planning to get a journal soon, i hear its very helpful. If I went out and socialize more, i could have been a lot better than where i’m today.
I really liked what you had to say in this “You get out of life exactly what you put into it. So if you are in a spiral of life where things don’t work for you — whether that means disagreements with your boss, disagreements with your partner or not meeting the people you want to meet — it’s happening because you can’t embrace change.”
wow David great blog. It’s so true like when girls have trust issues its just their ego that protects them from being open to change.
Hahaha, funny, after reading the blog I just realized I had an ego-protecting moment this morning
. I was doing cardio around my house and thought that maybe I should go running around the block but stopped myself after wondering what the neighbors would say ><. I should have said "who cares!!?" and thrown my ego aside 
Our ego protects us from all kinds of things, good blog!
Clint,
I remember when a lot of people got laid off from my previous company. There were so many people getting mad and crying and getting upset.
I know losing a job is never a fun thing but to me, I saw it as new opportunities coming around the corner for them.
When something ends, it’s also a new beginning.
It was just their ego blinding them from seeing what was around the corner.
Let me get this straight…when should you care when someones sais that you do something bad?Only if it’s a close person?
If I would have changed based on what everybody has told me I would be mad or dead….no joke here. I wanna start a jurnal today.
Btw on a side note…why do I care so much when people talk stupid or wrong things?I get so … don’t know the word, evem if I’m not involved I get so worked up and try to help them even if they think they’re fine. I helped a friend for 6 months with his problems and when he finally got a grip on things he turned his back on me. I stat to think why did I even help him?Ego? I could have gone the rest of my life witouth helping him…
The only constant is change, and we should always strive to change for the better as we get older and wiser.
Mike-Ro,
You want to define the meaning of what you do for yourself…. not for others.
You wanted to help your friend because you are that kind of guy. You yourself want to be an upstanding and caring guy… and that’s why you did it. That’s the most important reason you should have for helping a friend. So what if he turns his back on you?
You’ll just know better not to help him… but that has no reflection on the kind of guy you chose to be for him.
Dealing with people is all about defining for yourself what’s important. Who cares what other people think or feel from what you’ve done.
I see people’s reaction to me as feedback on whether what I do for myself feels right or not. If they react badly to me, it may be that my approach to who I want to be is not coming across properly… but that has nothing to do with whether I’m a good person or not.
Khiem….I just want to thank you for everything.You answered most of my questions and helped me more than you think. So yeah…big thanks! See you on the other posts!
You are welcome