Comments on: Don’t Be So Negative!

By: Rebecca Karlin

Rebecca Karlin — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 07:02:57 +0000

I have been email dating this guy and he is very verbos but he seem such a good conversationalist that the negative things we talk about are just part of the whole story and we sort of end up overriding it because we talk about the possibility of a romance and sexy ideas. The feelings are there. We have to admit that whatever happened to us why we are looking for a special person is because of all the negative things that has brought us out blogging blogging in the first place. Wether we like it or not, half of our memory, we can’t cut out because it had happened, it will stay there forever. When you cover it up, there are both girls and boys alike think you are lieing.

By: Sandra Hutchens

Sandra Hutchens — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 04:18:34 +0000

I have had four marriages and divorces. I will admit not all guys are that bad. When I see a man for the first time and he is negative I will categorize him just like a man will categorize a woman. It can go both ways. I did a soul search and came to the conclusion that I refuse to relive or speak the past in which I am no longer apart of. Who or where are these guys today. When a person is on the first date they should focus on the person they are with not what happened years ago. The other day I was staring out in space when this guy came up to me and he asked me are you upset about something and I looked at him and smiled and said no I am just thinking. Then explained to him that when I am studying I usually look like that. That made him smile right back. I am around a lot guys for I do work around them. And I do notice a difference in them it makes me curious on how certain guys react when they are trying to attract a woman.

By: K

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 02:35:18 +0000

Infinity – seems like your new friend was overdue for a reality check and just needed a little help.

In the last few years, many of my co-workers have lost parents, spouses, children, or their own lives and another is awaiting organ transplant. Believe me, if I was feeling negative about anything these days, I sure can’t find any justification for it now. Life is good and it’s up to us to make it better. Sometimes the gift of yourself keeps on giving, even when you (or they) move on. Just don’t forget to give that gift to yourself.

By: Deb

Deb — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 18:24:49 +0000

Infinity… how very awesome! You must see something in her that makes listening and validating her issues worth it; and to give her something positive to invision, how wonderful. Maybe that is how we know if we’ve found someone that is not “just another date”.

After a rough divorce I found myself in a very negative place. Looking back I lost some good friends because of it, and dating was very frustrating. I saw myself as this really nice person, but somehow I couldn’t get past a second date. The common thread was me. One day I stumbled on some information about habits. Negative thinking becomes a way of thinking over time when you are dealing with negative situations day after day. Wow! How negative is that! This defined my bad attitude and snapped me into a new reality. I knew now what my problem was, but the real work came as I learned all over again to be positive. It takes conscience effort; rinse and repeat, over and over, day after day. I am a positive person again, I smile a lot more, and attract attention from positive men; make friends with positive people, etc. It has taken me over a year to get here, but it was worth it. I also don’t do the total brain dump thing on dates anymore. Less is more, and it keeps me in the present. The past is the past.

Thanks David for the great blog topics.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 14:45:17 +0000

Yes, I agree with Taryin… Both parties need to be positive…

By: Taryn

Taryn — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 13:56:06 +0000

Both parties need to be positive…I am an extremely positive person. I always have a belief that things could be a lot worse. I find negativity an extreme turn off and have definately stopped dating men who where negative.

By: Infinity

Infinity — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 13:34:41 +0000

This is border-line creepy how on the money this right now and how this is going on in my life.

I just met an amazing woman last week and she comes off as very negative. And of course, the usual answer would be, “stop being negative.” But it’s easier said than done – especially if she’s been in this “funk” for some time now.

So, I have been helping her trace back to some of her successes in the past what great things that are going on in her life (which are many), reframe her thinking and try to slowly get her to start envisioning the positive as opposed to the negative. She has a lot going for her in her life right now and for someone who is so passionate about what she does, she can definitely use some of that passion to go after the goal of changing her outlook on life.

It’s very tough to help anyone with that, but I think she is worth making the effort to do so.

I wonder if DW has people following me…

By: K

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 06:08:22 +0000

…and I don’t need any thoughts of my past intruding on the present, y’know?

By: K

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 06:06:41 +0000

Maybe it’s a generational thing but I can’t imagine asking ANYONE on a first date about their past relationships, much less entertaining such questions put to me! That’s not getting to know someone – it’s just damn nosy! There are too many more interesting things to talk about, especially on the front end of that getting-to-know-you dance.

By: Bertie

Bertie — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 05:21:36 +0000

Oddly enough, I just got out of a relationship with a man whose most oft repeated phrase was “I can’t…” Insert whatever problem was the problem of the day. There was always some reason why he couldn’t fix the problem de jour, and should I make a suggestion, more reasons why he couldn’t. Which really meant wouldn’t. I couldn’t ever share a problem with him even if I was in the middle of solving it. It got, well, tedious, and painful after awhile. He’s a good guy and I wish him well, but he’s just not for me…