Don’t Ever Lie
November 1, 2008 
21 Comments
You don’t need to lie, ever.
If you’re in a clothing store and you see a woman in the women’s department, you might be thinking, how can I go over and talk to her? Maybe I’ll just say I’m looking for a gift for my sister.
Well, what happens if you end up dating her? She’s going to wonder where your sister disappeared to, right?
So don’t lie and don’t make stories up. Liars in life always have to remember their stories. People who tell the truth don’t have to remember anything.
If you always tell the truth and speak from your heart, you’ll never forget anything. You’re speaking with passion, and you’ll never have to think about something that you’ve previously said.
You won’t ever get caught in a lie, and you won’t have to backtrack.
Let’s say you’re dating someone and they have an interest in outdoor markets. When you first met, you told her that you also loved this certain market, and now that you’re dating, she suggests that you go there – but you’ve never been there before in your life. Now you have to backtrack.
It’s the little things like that that will get you into trouble. Never lie!
Sure, you can create something to help you out. To approach that woman in the women’s department looking at clothes, you might say, “hey, I’m looking for something for a friend of mine from work.” That’s just a white lie!
Client 1: If you have a sister, you’re golden! If you have a cousin, you’re good to go.
Client 2: And everybody’s got a female friend.
David: Yes, everyone has a female friend. It doesn’t matter how you do it, if you need something for an opener, it’s okay to use a white lie to help yourself out.
But you don’t want to create fictitious family members!
Creating fictitious family members was something I learned to do a long time ago. I used to cut class in high school, and I would have girls to write notes for me. The notes would say, “please excuse David from school today, he has a doctor’s appointment.”
Well, eventually you run out of excuses for doctor’s appointments. So then we moved on to funerals. According to these notes, my grandfather died 72 times in high school! He actually died when I was in grammar school, and once dead, you can have them die over and over again.
But never ever lie about anything. If you’re going to cancel a date, don’t lie to do it. Don’t say, “my mom really needs me, she got sick.” You might decide you actually like that person and then some day she’ll want to meet your mother, who actually passed away ten years ago.
People do shit like that. They make up stories to get out of things. Don’t make up stories, don’t lie, and just remember that you will always get caught!
You will always be caught in your lie.
Plus, I think telling the truth also builds a stronger character. If a guy has to make up excuses to cancel a date, how’s he ever going to learn to stand up to social pressure?
Taras, I agree. Tellling the truth builds a stronger character.
David, yep lies can be damaging. If you lie about something you like, and don’t actually like it, when someone finds out, well, there goes their ability to determine if you’re someone whose word they can rely on.
Your reputation is all you’ve got, and it’s not worth lying if it means tarnishing your reputation.
I think that having a strong character is how you avoid lying, not the other way around. I’m not trying to split hairs, but I think it is a subtle but important difference.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend.
I have mixed feelings about lying…A little white lie…I have to buy a present for my friend’s birthday when its in six months is pretty harmless, but inventing family members is a bit much. I already have a reputation…I don’t have to worry about my character at this point. It’s pretty well set by now.
i rearly hate to lie
my husband is always liening we have got married 6 months ago within 6 month he have got another girl for his self her name is roya mujaddedi he never told me about his girl friend one day i have hacked his password and then when i open his inbox i just couldent believe that this person is my husband when i asked him he said sorrry to me and said i wont do it again but he is lier for me and he cant gain his previouse character he is full of shit to me know
Its important to differentiate lying and having plain fun. Sometimes its funny to “stuff up” a story to make it just that little bit more funny. I think David you know what I mean! You’re a Master in that.
On the other hand, people who constantly ly are always at the losing end. Women have a “radar” for detecting lies, and not only women but all kind of sensitive people will not buy shit that is not true.
I have a friend that I use to hang out with a lot. He’s currently on the “PUA” trip, and he’s crafted all kinds of silly openers to get women’s attention. So he stands there, all nervous and awkward, and tries to impress women with false stories about a friend having this jealous girlfriend…well, you know that story. So what happens is that he destroys immediately the connection the woman might already have built up towards him.
I think that if you’re confident, secure of yourself and stop trying to impress people that makes you so much more attractive to anyone.
Deviating slightly away from not lying… don’t be afraid to tell a woman a truth about you which could show a slight (notice I say slight) weakness. It shows you’re not trying to show off to her, you’re comfortable with who you are and that you are totally sincere.
For example if you had a hard time settling in to a new lifestyle and one night you cried a little before going to sleep… there’s nothing wrong with sharing that, it shows you are human and she will relate to it.
Tell her how you got over it – she will be able to see what approach you take to life’s problems and therefore gain a better understanding of who you are and how you work.
Any other thoughts on this guys? David?
haha good point. I tend to lie about my age sometimes, if I meet a woman thats a little older. But i find that really doesn’t work and even tends to screw it up sometimes.
Rich why would you lie about your age?
Ah the old sister routine works every time (did it on the Sunday of the boot camp).
No lying involved as I do have a sister.
Justin – I agree with the showing vulnerability. It makes them know that you are human and can connect on an emotional level. The crying example was pretty funny.
Rich – don’t be intimidated by someone else age. Think about it, the reason why they are approaching you to begin with is because you have this aura of maturity that people her age doesn’t have. The fact that you are younger makes you much more attractive.
Your age is a huge advantage with older women and you should use it every time. I certainly do. But I’m an old man at heart.
David, I totally agreed with you. LIE can jeopardize !!! So don’t ever ever LIE
A mate lied to his girlfriend when he was cheating on her..that was his decision to make, then he started to use us in his lies and tell us to cover for him after he had done the deed.
Well one lie was busted when he said his $200.00 receipt was from buying a mate and his gfriend dinner after he saw them in town on a Saturday night while he was out with another friend. Long story short his gfriend was out with my mates girlfriend on the night in question…Busted…. too many lies and girls to cover for and he had to come clean about everything…well only the ones he could be caught for.
All three of us that he used as cover got served by his girlfriend. One of us TWICE at work in front of staff and customers at the bank. She had treated us like friends and brought us in, she is a fantastic, smart girl, but for some reason can’t/ won’t see through his B.S.
One of the boys is no longer speaking to him…his girlfriend is still with him….says he loves her….he will still cheat when he cant get caught….
Morale…don’t let your friends put you into the middle of a lie, if they do tell them to come clean and never to do it again.
Ladies, stop falling for guys like this, little dramas like this are exciting and when he says he’s sorry, he loves you and wont do it again. You feel like he’s realised what a great girl you are but most of the time it’s going to happen again and again.
There are more exciting things to do in life than deal with a cheating partner and the drama.
A lot of time, a little lie when it comes to “making up stuff” for roleplay is fun.
But honesty is the best way to attract someone. It’s not so much that you are honest with that person that makes you attractive. It’s the fact that by being honest, you are showing that you are unafraid of who you are and that you are truly comfortable in expressing who you are, just as you are.
It’s about character and genuineness. That is always universally attractive
Ah well it is not a good thing to lie but what if the person overreact when you start dating and tell the truth?I mean somewhere a lie is going to step in and if you find out it defuses the situation well you are going to on keep lieing isn’t it?
Okay, so lying is not always a bad thing. This article does describe it perfectly though, avoid it when at all possible! Women can typically recognize when it is a lie or a come on and start to feel insecure and/or irritated. When to lie: How do I look? (Great!… if you like the person, doesn’t matter if you don’t). Besides that, there are very few occasions when lying is justified or even makes sense. Other than using a man’s powerful opinion to let a woman know that they are beautiful to him (even when women have a few, atypical lapses in hairstyle, makeup, or fashion:)), please give us honesty. It not only gives an insight into a man’s character (aka future potential), but it also develops a feeling of security and connection.
Yes bertha you say we as guys must be honest.Well i have a lot of cases where i was to honest…i mean questions like “why does my pants that i bought 4 weeks back don’t fit?”.Then i reply “well you must have gain weight”…or the “pants got to small” then i’m in the deepest havoc.
Anyway i agree a person should be honest to recieve honesty…even if you are to honest in a relationship. Woman are woman if we love them or hate them we as men cannot live with out them.
well one lie that allways works if you show up late for work, or you take the day off. Also there is no limit to how many times you use it.
just tell your boss that your significant other was planing on having sex, and you figured you better be there.
Although if used too many times this will not protect you from getting fired, but most bosses will tell you I know what you mean.
I agree ladies-don’t lie. It poisons everything (from both sides).
So riddle me this: When your significant other notices that you are upset or angry and is emotionally vested in you to bother to ask, “What’s wrong?”
You reply, “Nothing.”
Think about it. If I retorted, “well, OK, I’ll just wait in the car for you.”, how would you feel?
Please do not convince yourselves that this ‘code-speak’ is not taken by s men as a lie.
Just like you know when those pants do make your ass look huge and we lie and tell you, “No.”
For me, I’m very outspoken, I speak out what I’m currently thinking and when asked what’s wrong, I would never say “nothing” unless it wasn’t that big of a deal. For me, if there’s something about me that you may not like or if you ever heard something about me and isn’t so sure if it’s true or not, you can just talk to me directly and tell me the truth. I don’t really care how much it may hurt, but I prefer being told directly. Like if you saw a picture on my Myspace that you didn’t like at all, there’s really no need to talk to other people about it. You can just come straight to me, tell me that you think this one picture should be taken out of my gallery, and If I do think it’s really an inapprorpiate photo, then I’ll take it out. That’s the way it is.
I really hate lieing, it brings no fruit except sorrow. By lieing we lose our character gradually.