Comments on: Does It Have To Be So Hard? http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/does-it-have-to-be-so-hard/2434/ Sex. Relationships. Dating. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 02:15:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Marina http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/does-it-have-to-be-so-hard/2434/#comment-33423 Marina Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:47:34 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2434#comment-33423 I think the more work you have with yourself the more work you have with your relationship. I do believe that a "great" relationship can just happen, but not before both parties have reached levels of work with themselves that left them in as close of state of now as possible, where we truly live in the moment. I think the more work you have with yourself the more work you have with your relationship.

I do believe that a “great” relationship can just happen, but not before both parties have reached levels of work with themselves that left them in as close of state of now as possible, where we truly live in the moment.

]]> By: Lisa http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/does-it-have-to-be-so-hard/2434/#comment-33422 Lisa Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:45:52 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2434#comment-33422 When play is work and work is play, when you love yourself and the one you're with, then nothing worthwhile is truly hard. For a good relationship to continue to be good, it takes effort, time, energy, and attention. If you don't want to do something, then it is work. If you do, then it's not work. Good post. When play is work and work is play, when you love yourself and the one you’re with, then nothing worthwhile is truly hard. For a good relationship to continue to be good, it takes effort, time, energy, and attention. If you don’t want to do something, then it is work. If you do, then it’s not work. Good post.

]]> By: Kay http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/does-it-have-to-be-so-hard/2434/#comment-33415 Kay Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:26:31 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2434#comment-33415 It all depends what you mean by "work." Does it mean lots of drama and emotionality? I wouldn't like that, but some people might. I don't really think it's mandatory in a long-lasting relationship, but it might be mandatory for certain individuals who like high excitement, high drama. I do a lot of work for my husband and family (raising children, having a career and taking care of a home), and it's nice for us that our relationship is something we get to "play" with. It's a break from the joyful yet also tedious responsibilities. (And that's one reason I read David's site as a married woman. There's lots of fun stuff on flirtation, which you still do when you've been married as long as I have -- 15 years.) I don't want to "work" on my relationship on top of all the other work I do; I picked wisely enough that I get to play almost all of the time when it's just the two of us. But this might very well be a semantic issue. It all depends what you mean by “work.” Does it mean lots of drama and emotionality? I wouldn’t like that, but some people might. I don’t really think it’s mandatory in a long-lasting relationship, but it might be mandatory for certain individuals who like high excitement, high drama. I do a lot of work for my husband and family (raising children, having a career and taking care of a home), and it’s nice for us that our relationship is something we get to “play” with. It’s a break from the joyful yet also tedious responsibilities. (And that’s one reason I read David’s site as a married woman. There’s lots of fun stuff on flirtation, which you still do when you’ve been married as long as I have — 15 years.) I don’t want to “work” on my relationship on top of all the other work I do; I picked wisely enough that I get to play almost all of the time when it’s just the two of us. But this might very well be a semantic issue.

]]> By: Pete http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/does-it-have-to-be-so-hard/2434/#comment-33399 Pete Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:16:32 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2434#comment-33399 you got answers for everyone huh it's incrediable you got answers for everyone huh it’s incrediable

]]> By: Diego http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/does-it-have-to-be-so-hard/2434/#comment-33394 Diego Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:03:16 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2434#comment-33394 I don´t love to brush my teeth, but I love the feeling of a fresh breath. I don´t love meditation, but I love feeling joyful and serene. I don´t love working out, but I love feeling fit and healthy. I prefer eating pizza and burgers to oatmeal and soybeans, yet the latter makes me feel lighter and better. There are many things or processes that I particularly dislike, some more than others. In dating, I don´t particularly like or enjoy approaching women I find attractive, because I don´t feel comfortable doing so. It feels like work, despite having done many approaches and taken 2 bootcamps (which I regret having done so). I could wait and stop approaching until I am comfortable, but that would be an excuse. Point in case, I know exactly what I want and what I need to do and become to get there. And it implies doing things that are not fun or enjoyable. I do agree its important to enjoy what we do, but a firm commitment will probably get me there. I don´t love to brush my teeth, but I love the feeling of a fresh breath. I don´t love meditation, but I love feeling joyful and serene. I don´t love working out, but I love feeling fit and healthy. I prefer eating pizza and burgers to oatmeal and soybeans, yet the latter makes me feel lighter and better.

There are many things or processes that I particularly dislike, some more than others. In dating, I don´t particularly like or enjoy approaching women I find attractive, because I don´t feel comfortable doing so. It feels like work, despite having done many approaches and taken 2 bootcamps (which I regret having done so). I could wait and stop approaching until I am comfortable, but that would be an excuse.

Point in case, I know exactly what I want and what I need to do and become to get there. And it implies doing things that are not fun or enjoyable. I do agree its important to enjoy what we do, but a firm commitment will probably get me there.

]]> By: Diego http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/does-it-have-to-be-so-hard/2434/#comment-33393 Diego Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:31:25 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2434#comment-33393 I have always fallen prey to magic solution pitches for two main areas in my life: fitness and dating. I know exactly what I want and have goals set up, but I don´t enjoy the process. I don´t like working out, day in and day out, yet I do it anyway because I feel good afterwards. I also don´t enjoy eating healthy foods, as I´d prefer eating pizza anyday, but that´s just not as healthy and is more of a tradeoff than anything else. My stumbling block comes in approaching women whom I think are attractive. It feels like work to me and it is not enjoyable. In the past I have even taken pickup bootcamps, done many approaches, but it still isn´t something I love to do or feel comfortable doing. However, I know exactly what I want in terms of relationships and who I want to meet. I also know what I need to do and become in order to get these results, and this definitely implies hard work and doing stuff that is not fun. So it´s apparent that we have to do things we don´t love as much as do things we do love to achieve what we want. I have always fallen prey to magic solution pitches for two main areas in my life: fitness and dating. I know exactly what I want and have goals set up, but I don´t enjoy the process. I don´t like working out, day in and day out, yet I do it anyway because I feel good afterwards. I also don´t enjoy eating healthy foods, as I´d prefer eating pizza anyday, but that´s just not as healthy and is more of a tradeoff than anything else.

My stumbling block comes in approaching women whom I think are attractive. It feels like work to me and it is not enjoyable. In the past I have even taken pickup bootcamps, done many approaches, but it still isn´t something I love to do or feel comfortable doing. However, I know exactly what I want in terms of relationships and who I want to meet. I also know what I need to do and become in order to get these results, and this definitely implies hard work and doing stuff that is not fun.

So it´s apparent that we have to do things we don´t love as much as do things we do love to achieve what we want.

]]> By: Charles http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/does-it-have-to-be-so-hard/2434/#comment-33389 Charles Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:43:33 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2434#comment-33389 Short but Str8 to the point and so damn true!!! If somebody has a negative connotation with the word work, obviously they havnt done it. Wheteher it be on themselves, a relationship or a career. Because if they truly did it, like you said they would enjoy it and want more of it! Thx. Short but Str8 to the point and so damn true!!! If somebody has a negative connotation with the word work, obviously they havnt done it. Wheteher it be on themselves, a relationship or a career. Because if they truly did it, like you said they would enjoy it and want more of it! Thx.

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