I was having a conversation the other day that made me think. People always say that a good relationship should just happen. They say that a good relationship doesn’t take work and that it should just happen naturally.
Do you know what I say to that? I say that’s bullshit. A good relationship takes a lot of work. Ask any couple who have been together a long time, and they will tell you that it takes a lot of work.
It seems, though, like everybody has a negative connotation associated with the word work. The truth is that if you love the person you’re with and you love the relationship, then it doesn’t feel like work.
Every day when I wake up, I never feel like I’m going to work. I love what I do. I enjoy the subject matter. I enjoy the people with whom I work. I enjoy each day as it comes. So the truth is that I never feel like I’m going to work. I just feel like I’m just enjoying myself. Â
The same thing is true about my relationship. I am constantly working on things in my relationship. I am constantly working on myself and my issues. None of that feels like work, because I truly believe the payoff for doing this is immense.
Do what you love, and the money will follow. Â Love yourself, and the love will follow.
Popularity: 5%
Short but Str8 to the point and so damn true!!! If somebody has a negative connotation with the word work, obviously they havnt done it. Wheteher it be on themselves, a relationship or a career. Because if they truly did it, like you said they would enjoy it and want more of it! Thx.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I have always fallen prey to magic solution pitches for two main areas in my life: fitness and dating. I know exactly what I want and have goals set up, but I don´t enjoy the process. I don´t like working out, day in and day out, yet I do it anyway because I feel good afterwards. I also don´t enjoy eating healthy foods, as I´d prefer eating pizza anyday, but that´s just not as healthy and is more of a tradeoff than anything else.
My stumbling block comes in approaching women whom I think are attractive. It feels like work to me and it is not enjoyable. In the past I have even taken pickup bootcamps, done many approaches, but it still isn´t something I love to do or feel comfortable doing. However, I know exactly what I want in terms of relationships and who I want to meet. I also know what I need to do and become in order to get these results, and this definitely implies hard work and doing stuff that is not fun.
So it´s apparent that we have to do things we don´t love as much as do things we do love to achieve what we want.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I don´t love to brush my teeth, but I love the feeling of a fresh breath. I don´t love meditation, but I love feeling joyful and serene. I don´t love working out, but I love feeling fit and healthy. I prefer eating pizza and burgers to oatmeal and soybeans, yet the latter makes me feel lighter and better.
There are many things or processes that I particularly dislike, some more than others. In dating, I don´t particularly like or enjoy approaching women I find attractive, because I don´t feel comfortable doing so. It feels like work, despite having done many approaches and taken 2 bootcamps (which I regret having done so). I could wait and stop approaching until I am comfortable, but that would be an excuse.
Point in case, I know exactly what I want and what I need to do and become to get there. And it implies doing things that are not fun or enjoyable. I do agree its important to enjoy what we do, but a firm commitment will probably get me there.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
you got answers for everyone huh it’s incrediable
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
It all depends what you mean by “work.” Does it mean lots of drama and emotionality? I wouldn’t like that, but some people might. I don’t really think it’s mandatory in a long-lasting relationship, but it might be mandatory for certain individuals who like high excitement, high drama. I do a lot of work for my husband and family (raising children, having a career and taking care of a home), and it’s nice for us that our relationship is something we get to “play” with. It’s a break from the joyful yet also tedious responsibilities. (And that’s one reason I read David’s site as a married woman. There’s lots of fun stuff on flirtation, which you still do when you’ve been married as long as I have — 15 years.) I don’t want to “work” on my relationship on top of all the other work I do; I picked wisely enough that I get to play almost all of the time when it’s just the two of us. But this might very well be a semantic issue.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
When play is work and work is play, when you love yourself and the one you’re with, then nothing worthwhile is truly hard. For a good relationship to continue to be good, it takes effort, time, energy, and attention. If you don’t want to do something, then it is work. If you do, then it’s not work. Good post.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I think the more work you have with yourself the more work you have with your relationship.
I do believe that a “great” relationship can just happen, but not before both parties have reached levels of work with themselves that left them in as close of state of now as possible, where we truly live in the moment.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0