Last night I was at the Hollywood Bowl — box seats and a picnic under the stars. Actually in Los Angeles the air is too dirty to see the stars, unless Tom Hanks walks past you on the street or something.
So at the Hollywood Bowl last night looking at the two visible stars in the sky, we got to watch Depeche Mode play a concert. It was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen.
Not only was the band great, but crowd moved right along with them. Everyone stood for the entire concert.
The opening band, The Whistlers, was good too. You know The Whistlers — Peter, Paul and Bjorn? I’m just joking, but they were good.
Something that happened last night was really funny. We went to the concert with another couple. They brought so much food, it was incredible.
We also learned something about Sonja’s friend Angie. We learned that she always has an emergency stash of almonds in her purse.
Do you know people like this, who always have some kind of emergency food — raisins, nuts or trail mix or something — in their bag? I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had emergency food in my bag.
I mean, there always is a convenience store nearby if you really need something. I guess if you were trapped on a desert island, then having the emergency food stash is smart. Or, maybe, if there’s an earthquake that knocks all your food on the floor and your dog eats everything but the emergency nuts, then it’s a good idea too.
Really, though, there are just some people who are going to make wonderful mothers . . . because a good mother always has an emergency bag of almonds. My mother always had an emergency Valium. So whenever we were hungry on a road trip, my Mom would say “There’s no food” in a not-so-nice tone of voice and then pop the emergency Valium. So, clearly, some people are better prepared to be mothers than others.
On the subject of children, I have a question. Is it just me, or does it seem like everywhere you look women are pregnant?
That brings up another children-related topic I wanted to talk about today. . . I truly believe there should be a DPB (”Department Of Better Parents).
You know, you’d go in there and tell the child experts why you want to have kids. You’d take a test to see if you can parallel park with kids in the back seat. Then the child experts would determine whether you should become a parent.
I think this is a great idea, because I’ve got to tell you that there are a lot of people who wouldn’t pass if they had to get a parent’s license. I don’t think it’s right to have a child just because you want one.
I want a boat, but I don’t think I’ll take care of it. I also want an old car, but I think it will frustrate me and break down too much.
Children are people, not things or possessions. They are not put on this earth so you can relive your frustrated childhood through them, and be made to do all the things you wanted to do as a kid. You need to embrace that, and allow them to be the people they want to be.
I think having a child is not a right. It’s a gift. It’s a gift for which you have to be ready. You have to be someone who embraces that gift. You know, the emergency almond woman from last night would definitely be a good one.
man love Depeche Mode you must had tons of fun!
I noticed that about the air as well when i was in LA i wonder if they will ever find some solution to the nasty air.
I wish growing up that the emergency almond women was my mother:)
oh God i got to be careful what i say here, my mother might read this blog:)
I totally agree David, I notice some people with kids and I wonder what really drove them to become mother when they can really take care of themselves.
Have a kid is not easy task, it takes time, patience, and most of all you really have to be ready.
Great point David, that is one of the reason I don’t want to have kids in my life at this point, i know deep down i am just not ready.
For a woman is a difficult task, like Steve mentioned, it takes patience, and you really have to know when time is right.
DBP- department of better parentS:)
If there was such thing parents would do better job parenting i think:)
Julia- the thought of having a child ever cross your mind?
Donjuan-
Yes i have thought about it in the past, and I know deep down right now I just want to enjoy my life the way it is, not ready to take responsibility for a child whom i wouldn’t be able to spend much time!
Thanks, David, for making me crave for almonds at one in the morning! Couldn’t you at least put the picture of an almond in this blog?
The drummer in my band has the coolest girl in the world for a sister. She is sweet, funny, caring, gives a lot of hugs, smells yummy, great smile, rockin’ body… The only con? She was already in a relationship when I met her! Now, she’s pregnant with her boyfriend’s child, at the age of 19. I know she’s gonna be a great mom (she learned from her own mother, a very nice lady); I just wish I was the dad… I’m sure I’ll find somebody as unique as her. Somehow, it feels like that ship has sailed for good…
A friend’s mom (herself being a teenage mother) said that you should do everything and anything you want with your life, and then, after you’re done fulfilling every whim of yours and are completely bored with life, only THEN should you start thinking about getting married and having kids. I think I agree. How about you?
I agree. Having kids; being parents, is a permanent job. You can’t just up and quit anytime you want. That’s wrong.
Diego:
Thats how I feel at times, but wouldn’t the married life be boring if you’ve already done all you want to and then settle and act as if you dont want to do anything else more with your life? In life, you’ll always want to progress right? And fulfill some dreams with a companion (your spouse). Hmmm
Diego
I dont quite agree with your friends advice about when to get children. Thère is no such thing as the right moment when it comes to kids, it got more to do with being with the right person. The joy of having kids are mind blowing, no place to visit nor thing to do compare with these annoying
little critters. You just duscover other things in their eyes where looking at Machu picchu is as facinating as creating a sand castle town. If anything they make you appreciate the moment for what it is.
I don’t have the cliche female desire for kids. What’s more, I don’t even understand it. When I see kids that I cute I often think, “Oh, aren’t they cute. I kind of want to go play with them.” But I have never seen a kid so cute that I wanted to have one.
Puppies on the other hand — I totally want one.
But yeah, I don’t even understand the desire to have children. I was just wondering about it last night. Especially people who don’t seem to want the responsibility. What compels them?
I think David is way off base here. Nothing will prepare you for raising kids. Many great people have stemmed from poverty, dysfunctional families, all kinds of adversity. Had their parents not been allowed to reproduce, the world would have missed out on the gift of their offspring.
DBP, nice. You need a license to drive, to fish, to sell insurance…all you need to have kids is the right plumbing.
Scary stuff,
David, I also think an adult wanting to have a child should really consider that if the child had “a say in the matter” would they want to be born in the adults current life situation?
I certainly think that amount of respect should be given to your unborn child.
Steve
That is the comment of the year!!!
So true and if you listen to all the airy fairys they will say that the unborn child picks there parents so they can learn the lessons that the soul needs.
Love your quote!!
I once heard someone say “You wanna know what’s crazy? In this country, you need a license to own a dog, but anyone can have a kid!”
Hey Will, that’s from the movie Parenthood. Keanu Reeves says it to Diane Weist in the kitchen after he talks to Joaquin Phoenix about masturbation. Great scene. Great movie. Great quote.
I know your article touched on something very non-sexual. But I gotta add my POV, here… because I’m really curious. I’m one of those natural, almond carrying mothers who is often complimented on my “easy” parenting style with great, smart, kids who know themselves and thrive… but, I find it’s easy to fall into the mother role, do everything for everyone, domestic goddess, and find there are trappings to it that impact relationships – not always in a good way. For starters, I really dislike being called (or perceived as) “mama” by anyone close to my age of the opposite sex…. or anyone! It makes me feel very unsexy… and depleted. Yeah, I like to be appreciated, but too much neediness is a real turn off for me. Guys who like that I cook, clean, and fold their laundry, remind them of b-days, or whatever come off as weak – lacking the confidence and attentiveness we women really require to feel sexy (and to view them as sexy). I tell ya, flipping the switch from the mom role to the I really want it, putting out, (initializing it, like they like it) sex kitten is very tough! It’s so much serving up. We want the confident man to step up and BE the man…. not the child. Just saying. Besides, do guys really find mothers that attractive?
To imsatine:
Preach it girl! I’m not even someone’s mother and I find this same issue a problem. I am a strong, confident, capable woman and I seem to attract a bunch of these boy-men who want a woman to tkae care of them like thier mommy did.
Hey, I don’t mind cooking dinner if you are going to do the dishes — because I think a real relationship is about partnership — but I am not your care-taker, okay?
And emotionally too — I mean I can empathize to a certain point, but if you quit your job and you haven’t founda new one six months later I am all out of patience. Mcdonald’s is always hiring, you know?
Satine, I run into a lot of guys nowadays — even good ones — who seem to be afraid of responsiblity. It really disappoints me that it’s like this entire generation of men haven’t figured out that with accepted responsibility come achievement and satisfaction.
Right! Give us a wry smile and a playful hug the next time you see us doing something motherly. Tickle us to distract our busy arms, then snatch our almonds and pack them in the cooler next to the beer (for you) along with something special you picked out for us – that might be a nice surprise. But, don’t forget to clean out the cooler (including, putting the cans where they belong) after you carry it home for us! We’ll shoulder carry the bag chairs (without complaining) if we’re each doing our part.
In response to Crystal’s comment:
I want to have kids….
And it has nothing to do with seeing a kid cute enough for me to have one of my own… but it really came down to me to the desire of sharing my own knowledge, experience and wisdom with someone who I know will listen.
I dunno… it’s the idea of seeing someone grow…. It’s the idea of knowing I can create something beautiful of my own (that is living).
Hey Khiem, thanks for explaining. When I encounter people who really want kids I usually ask them why — I’m trying to figure out if I might want kids someday because that’s what people always ask me when I tell them I don’t have a desire to have children. To be fair I normally ask women this question. And I normally get answers like, “they’re so cute and I just want to hold one of my own.”
Oh, and then I get looks like I’m sort of alien, or like I just dropped my uterus on the floor.
I do relate to your desire to pass your wisdom on to others. But I’m already working on that. I am involved in several youth organizations, I babysit and I teach Sunday School.