Do You Suffer From Poor Me Syndrome
June 20, 2011 
9 Comments
As most of you know, I really do read all my e-mails. I may not be
able to get back to all you guys, but I do read them, and I enjoy
reading your e-mails. I really do. It inspires me. Not only that, it
also gives me great blog topics. A lot of you feel that when something
happens to you, a bad thing, that you think you have bad luck. You
just think, why is it happening to me now? Everything is supposed to
be going so great. Why is this happening to me right now?
You know that type of attitude. Why is it happening to me right now?
Regardless of what the situation is, events or whatever, the best
thing that can happen to you at the time is what is actually happening
to you at the present time. The lesson you need to learn is an
experience you need to have. It’s an emotion that you need to feel.
Everything that happens to you happens to you for a reason. It makes
you a stronger person.
Not only that: The most successful people in
this world, the most powerful people in this world, the most
well-rounded people in this world are the ones that look at each thing
that happens to them, they learn from it, and they may move forward a
stronger and happier person. They don’t wallow in it.
Poor Me In Dating
They don’t go on a cycle of depression from it. They don’t keep thinking about why, why
is this happening to me now? They tackle it head-on. They look at the
problem head-on. They feel the experience head-on, and they process it
and move forward. It might take you some time sometimes to process and
move forward, but as long as you move forward, you’ll get rid of that
stuck feeling that you have—that feeling of being overwhelmed, that
feeling of “Why me?” Look at everything that happens to your life in a
different light. Look at it as an experience, as a lesson, as
something you needed to grow on. If something happens over and over
again, look at that pattern, and realize and maybe you need to change
something about yourself and the way you handle things. Maybe you
didn’t process something. Maybe you didn’t experience something. Life
repeats itself when we don’t face the issues the very first time. So
the next time life throws you a curveball, look at it, embrace it,
love it, and process it so that you can move forward and grow as a
person.
What do you do if friends and family are like this? All they do is bitch about there problems, and some of there problems they have been bitch about for years. They will not look at it as an experience, as a lesson, as something you needed to grow on. As I am a person to looks at my issues as something I can grow from. I do not understand how they can be like this.
Understanding this concept is one thing, but putting into practice is entirely different. One thing I’ve found is that if a really big thing in my life is not going well (like a breakup), then all the little things that happen every day start to have more negative weight. So, if I lost my keys during a time where I’m generally happy, well no big deal.
So we have to make sure to not pile all these little problems on ourselves, otherwise we will be overwhelmed. Then we can focus on the true cause of our “Woe is me” attitude and figure out what we can do about ourselves to change that problem in the future.
Mathew says “What do you do if friends and family are like this? All they do is bitch about there problems, and some of there problems they have been bitch about for years. They will not look at it as an experience, as a lesson, as something you needed to grow on. As I am a person to looks at my issues as something I can grow from. I do not understand how they can be like this.”
Mathew, please don’t take this as an attack on you. I do understand how relentless some people are with their whining and because we care about them it is hard to just turn away. Try not to fall into the trap of whining about the whiners though. Perhaps, you could say something along the lines of “I understand how difficult this is for you and I’m sorry I can’t fix it for you” then change the subject or say you will see them later.
@ Luapina thanks. “I understand how difficult this is for you and I’m sorry I can’t fix it for you” You are right I do need to say something, but to myself. It dose not matter how much I care, or what good advice I give. I can’t fix it for them. This is something I need to put into practice.
We really have to make war against our negative thoughts. We have to decide to be happy and content, and then we have to go out there and be it. If we aren’t determined to keep a rein on our feelings, we’ll never be able to bring it about just by chance.
David, Do you speak from knowledgeable experience, on getting over a great loss? What is the WORST thing that has happened to you in your life? Have you had a child die, lost an immediate loved one, lost all your money, home, or livelihood, and had to start over? Yes, you had a divorce, like, 50% of us, but what has really been terrible for you to get over? It is easy to tell people to “get over it” and move on, until you have felt true loss….What is YOUR worst moment, and how did you cope, and move on with it?
David, I know exactly what you mean. Recently I missed out on a pretty big opportunity for me, something I’ve been wanting to do for a while now. Everyone else to me was surprised that instead of being down about it, I accepted it and moved on.
It’s all because I’ve been living by a quote by Randy Pausch, “Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.”
@Collin, I wouldn’t “make war” against bad thoughts
Negative thoughts like these are necessary for some because they are great motivators.
“Poor me” turns into “fuck this, I’m going to change it”
@Pat, that guy is legit. He said some great things before he died.
Oh boy, another clueless and useless article similar to the article on “Do you suffer from bad luck?” I truly do not know enough about the depth, width, and intuition of the author in this article. People in general tend to assume that they are in control, however, they are never in controlled of the external circumstances and what is going to happen to them and so on, except that we only control of what outfits we are going to wear, what food we are going to buy and eat, what entertainment we are going to enjoy tonight, tomorrow, etc. But when it comes to harmful and destructive incidents in terms of damages, wounds, and significant losses, etc. caused or induced by the people in your physical surroundings (I am not referring to family members or close friends), then how do suppose to control your thoughts, mentality, feelings, intuition, your spiritual guidance as well as your unique personality?
When unforeseen, unjust, and destructive circumstances happened, it is totally natural and necessary for us as normal human beings to feel what we feel, acknowledge what we acknowledge, and to direct our next actions, and so on. We need to allow our body, mind, heart, soul, and spirit to undergo the experience the situations are presenting to us, especially when the situations have adverse consequences on us, otherwise, our body systems including immune system, nervous system, lymphatic system, skeletal, circulation system, etc. would be compromises and impaired.
It is not wise to suppress our thoughts immediately when our thoughts are part of our intuition to guide us to the next necessary step whether to correct the problems or to separate ourselves from the threatening situations! Yet, so many published lousy and inaccurate comments claimed that it is “not wise” or good to have “negative emotions or thoughts!” Well, “life is not perfect” and is “not even awesome” and it does “not treat people right and just” most of the time, so, is it still wise and fair to suppress “whatever not so sweet or fancy thoughts” come into your mind or mentality? On the other hand, if a person always has negative thoughts or emotions all the time from the moment being awake until fall asleep, then, yes, this would be too much negative thoughts for the body systems to conquer!
My point is to tell my fellow human beings that it is okay to ask all these questions because if you do not ask, you will never find the answers and your problems and you not allowed yourself to be a problem-solver, critical thinker, a contribution to society! When bad things happened to us, it is our job to make sure these incidents shall not and will not happen to their innocent people although the spirit of injustices, violations, and destruction already chosen us to be the subjects of the wounds prior to we could somehow, somewhere, and sometime to make a positive difference on planet earth!