Do you remember that great song by Rupert something – the Piña Colada song? “Do you like piña coladas, getting caught in the rain?”
I listened to it the other day when I was driving around. It’s about a guy who is basically bored in his relationship and puts out a personal ad. His ad says, “do you like piña coladas, getting caught in the rain? If you’re not into health food and like the taste of champagne,” or something like that. “Do you like making love at midnight…” blah blah blah… whatever might be.
But what is really funny about it is that the internet is just full of personal ads. We’re all searching for somebody that fits our personal ad. Have you gone to match.com, or Yahoo personals, or any of the other websites, and read what the opposite sex is looking for?
This is great research. If you want to learn about the opposite sex, and learn about what is important to them, just sign up for a dating site for three days. Search the opposite sex’s ads – forget about the pictures. Don’t even look at the pictures. This isn’t Maxim magazine or Cosmo – just read the profiles. Read what people say in their profiles. Look at what they are talking about.
You can learn so much about the opposite sex by reading profiles. Spend an hour or two every single night reading profiles. Read about what people say about themselves, and read about what they are looking for. Read everything.
This way you will learn about the opposite sex, and you will learn what they are looking for. You will also start to understand them more. A lot of the problem is that men and women don’t understand each other; and they don’t do enough research to begin to even begin to understand one another.
So do some research. Instead of trying to meet the opposite sex – research the opposite sex!
Recently I told a client that he needed to learn women. Go to a coffee shop, bring a newspaper, and sit down next to two women chatting. Learn how to speak woman-talk. If you want to learn about men, sit down next to two men at a café and listen to them talk to each other.
Listen to the opposite sex interacting with each other. Then you can learn how to communicate better with the opposite sex.
Worst-case scenario: you can always post a personal ad titled “Do you like piña coladas!”
Todays Video is all about drinking that Pina Colada and heading to the beach. A live in field breakdown of beach hook ups.
If you go to any of these dating sites and read the profiles, you’ll find a few women that give some great details of what they are looking for. But most of them have the same things in common. These women are looking for a 6 to 7 foot tall comedian. What really upsets me though, are the ones who are 5′0″ tall and still want a guy who is 6′ tall or taller. Don’t these women know that the average height of a man in this country is 5′6″ to 5′8″ ? That is where MOST men are! Then, for the rest of the multiple choice questions, they put “Any”. I suppose because nothing else matters as long as he’s tall?
But you know, it’s okay because most of the girls I’ve dated in my life are taller or MUCH taller than me and they could care less if I have to stand on my toes to kiss them. It’s true, the ones who really want someone to fall in love with, don’t care about this. It’s the personality that matters most and those relationships are the ones that have lasted the longest for me. Though, I see it all that time that if a guy is tall, it’s like having a super-powered chick magnet in your pocket.
I think, if you’re going to bust chops on a girl, you bust on her shoes, her clothes or her hair color, something that she can change so that if you do strike a nerve, it’s something she’s comfortable with because she can always change it. I think women who discriminate men because of height should consider that fact that this is NOT something a guy can fix and they probably pass up a lot of great friends and relationships, simply because God didn’t bless these guys with that attribute, and all the praying in the world won’t change it.
Do you like piña coladas… getting caught in the rain… something something… doo doo doooo…. Damn it David, now you got me singing that song! I hope you’re happy :p
Ahh… but seriously, there’s some great advice here! I’ve often done the profile research thing through myspace. I actually find that many girls write the same basic things, but with little subtle differences that can really give some valueable insights into their personality.
That’s been my experience, anyways…
Ok, so now I’m having flashbacks to my freshman year of high school. I was more of a Romeo’s tune kinda girl. The trouble with the Match profiles is that they all seem to be the same after a bit. I keep reading…No Drama…Ummm, interesting, like what did you mean by that? or, You and the fifty other profiles I’ve perused this evening…
Great Video. Really enjoyed the energy and how they just stopped and engaged that one women. That’s wbat it is really all about. She was pulled into the world that was created with the sand castle competition. Really an amazing example and I wish more stuff like that could be caught on video.
And again, Rob kicked ass. that chick was gorgeous, the ones that makes me wanna stutter. But i don’t do online dating, so i really can’t say much about profiles!
Todd: I read your frustration in your entry. Let me encourage you with this thought! Capture a womans mind, and her body will follow.
Thanks Jim! Actually, it’s reading the profiles on match.com that frustrates me. My present gf is almost 5′9″ and I’m 5′6″. She doesn’t care and neither do I. She’s a 10+1/2 in the looks department, so you’re absolutely right! I’m just trying to do whatever it takes to KEEP this one interested.
..hhmmmh, it seems as if often times I meet women that are 4 feet eleven inches…
hunter
i love spinners!!!
Listening to women talk is really interesting, I admire their lightning speed/fast/quick responses on certain subjects. On the other hand, women sit around, and bullshit also, just like us guys……..
…..so, some of that women talk,, are just words into the air, with no meaning….just like guy talk..
to DW,
Spinners?…….I don’t understand..
hunter
women under 5 feet two are spinners.
you can toss them all around the bed…..and spin them.
you have never heard that before?
..HAH!…how funny!…I that is new to me…….
on second thought, that really happens!……yes!….LOL!…
Todd, no offense but it seems like you are the one with the height issue. ‘Knowing’ male height stats for “our country” seems to validate my opinion. When I read your comment I KNEW you were short. And I am only using short as a negative term because it is clear that you see yourself in a negative light. I’m sure DW would agree that you use this as an excuse.
Maybe you have had a lot of negative experiences re: this issue. I don’t know your age. If you are under 25 (as I suspect/hope) I competely understand your attitude. It usually takes many years 2 gain true inner confidence. It takes time 2 really love yourself with all of its flaws/quirks. It doesn’t have to if you are interested in working hard to become the best person you can be. When this is a priority everything else (women included ) will follow.
It also takes time to not be caught up in the superficial aspects of attraction.
This concept never fully registered until I was 29/ 30.
I used to be one of those people who had requirements/prerequisites of my potential mate: age, height, education, background , looks, political affiliation, job, potential as a serious relationship, + many, many more characteristics. I haven’t lowered my standards by any means; in fact I am much more selective but much less rigid in my requirements that have had me lose out on potentially great guys. Once I stopped putting limiting requirements on who I allowed myself to meet (I didn’t see age, height, race, etc.) I was able 2 have a significantly larger pool of men to choose from. This only happened because my taste in what I found attractive changed. Coinfidence, conversing on a multitude of topics, assertiveness, humor, ability to let go, impeccable manners, passion, non-egotism, care for animals and the environment, and ability to love are what drive me crazy now!
What I value in the oppsite sex has drastically changed as I have changed. I’m not saying that the physical aspect doesn’t play a major role in who I am attracted to. Chemistry is key! I just know that the other night I would have sworn this guy I was talking to was at LEAST 6′1. I later found out that he’s 5′9. I was so surprsised b/c I pretty much only have dated 6′1-6′3 guys. Not because I thought they were better, but that happened to be who I was attracted to. I also had a ‘type’ and never ventured outside it. I was only attracted to: tall, dark hair, light eyes, cocky, in shape, guys around my age who are smart, athletic, and successful. I still seem to phyically be attracted to the same type in general, but so many more substantial things draw me to or away from someone . It’s all about personal preference. I’m sure most of us wouldn’t pick an ugly, stupid, mate with poor hygiene as our ideal partner. Everything is subjective! I’Ve dated models who I find extremely unattractive that I thought were hot until I got to know them. Also,multi-millionaire businessmen who are stupid/incompetent on so many levels that they become unattractive.
In reality it’s all about confidence. The 5′9 guy was definitely the biggest man in the room the other night. Everyone gravitated to him.
I know what I am attracted 2 and what I am not attracted to. It has drastically changed over the years and believe me it’s not as though I am getting less attractive and my options are narrowing. In fact, my options are expanding. In the past I would have limited my potential mates by only talking 2 guys who passed my physical ideal, was the right age, was my personality ideal, financial ideal, had the potential/desire 2 be a father/husband and numerous other ‘ideals.’
Once you really know what you want and don’t want, you realize you could never have planned it out. You change as does what/who you are looking for. I have fallen for people that i never expected to fall for. I’m just glad I stopped excluding people who I couldn’t check every box off with and just let go with. No expectations are a good thing.
In fact, you stop looking because you don’t need to. They will find you….or not and you will be just as happy single
Hey Hope, I really liked what you have to say about this!! btw…how are you doing!?
For anyone, when you change inside, the outside will show. It will not happen one day, just like you wish to get rich in one day. You have to work for it.
Hope, thanks for the comments. These days “knowing” statistics on anything is as simple as typing it into Google and pressing “Enter”. It certainly didn’t take me more than a minute to learn this and it’s not like i had to do the research myself. I admit, I am self conscious about my height, but as I said I’ve been dating women who are taller than me all my life (I’m 47 and recently divorced.). It’s frustrating when trying to find someone on an online dating site. By far, the majority of women on there are attracted to someone who is “tall” regardless of their own height, and most won’t even respond if that attribute is not present. Even DW’s friend on the “Girls Tell All Series” said it when discussing online dating, if the guy isn’t 5′11″ or taller, she’s not interested and won’t respond no matter how great his personality comes through in his email. This is a very common attitude. I know first hand that not everyone feels this way but being rejected for something you can’t change hurts, regardless. You say you don’t care anymore, but then again, you consider 5′9″ short! From my perspective, I’d have to wear 3″ high boots to be that tall, but cowboy boots are out of style.
And you’re right. No expectations ARE a good thing. I just wish more women would take on that attitude and open their minds to being attracted to men who don’t match every one of their check boxes.
Hey Todd
I think 5′6-5′8 is a fine. I’m 5′5 myself. I think it’s odd when short people discriminate against other short people. Not all short women want 6′0 tall guys.
Hey Todd,
I can understand how you feel … but speaking for myself, I am 5′5″ tall and I have dated men who are anywhere from 5′8″ to 6′4″ — and I found them all very physically attractive. Why? Because it was their presence, their confidence and their strong personalities that I was drawn to …
Don’t worry about what SOME women say they want. There are plenty of women who find men of ALL different shapes, heights and sizes attractive
to hope,
You dated millionaires and haven’t matched? I have been told, a woman can easily get used to money.
Todd … I don’t blame you for having the attitude you do after hearing that woman on the “girls tell all” say what she said about the height thing … I don’t feel at all the way that woman does … but of course I’m just one opinion as is she!
David would have a REALLY long audio program if he was to get the opinion of the entire female population. That would be quite an impossible task!!
I think he probably chose a selection of women to give their thoughts and opinions … Don’t take that one statement by that ONE woman as how the female population feels about everything.
She is just giving her personal opinion … I’m sure there are lots of women who would have different preferences for themselves than that one woman.
Just think Todd … I’m sure you don’t find the exact same women attractive as all of your friends do, right? So don’t let this height thing be an issue for you
Hunter,
LOL! No, women get used to having their own money…not someone else’s money.
Bertie –
MOST women get used to having their own money … others unfortunately feel they are entitled to have other’s money just because men should feel lucky to have them around (hence Hunter’s type of comment and many men’s poor opinions about women)
Women like that give the rest of us a bad name!
If a girl, and I’m using that term purposefully, marries a man with money, she’s always beholden to him. Its just downright silly. The tabloids are always full of their divorces as well. So I suppose its not even their happily ever after. On top of that, if there’s kids involved, you’re sharing your kids…I barely tolerate sharing my kids with a man I once loved deeply back in the day when we lived in a tin can in a trailer park. Boy, that was a culture shock coming from yuppie parents to tin can alley….even as I write I’m sharing that last kid with the ex, and its just as much fun as say dropping a bowling ball on your foot, or having a bunch of teeth pulled. Can’t imagine doing that with someone I didn’t really care about from the get-go. Maybe its easier when you have a big alimony check…
Agreed, Bertie … These kind of women are “girls” and definitely are silly …
But, I have to also say that the kind of man who marries a woman he knows wants him just for his money is just as silly … and frankly deserves what he gets …
Oh, no doubt! The thing is many men accept that that is part of the deal…Seems awfully cynical to me, but so long as they aren’t here, and they aren’t…way too off-the-beaten-path for their sort…its all fine.
to bertie,
“Culture shock?” Going from yuppie parents to tin can alley?…..But, you were in love at the time. Don’t women say love and the heat of passion won’t let us see many things?
Hunter…we were so poh’ my daughter and I were freezing our tushes off in the winter, and I remember vividly baking breads and such for Christmas presents and getting to turn on the heat so the bread would rise…
Yes, and you were young, strong and in “Love”………hhhmmhh…..
LOL, Hunter! I had a baby girl who turned into a wonderful young woman…that I continue to adore. Even if she is discussing my punishment for not having called my beautician and arranging an appointment for her.
There’s always something….:)
I think that girl might be a b list actress who I often mistake for Rene Zellwiger
to bertie,
See, all that is a result of life when it was all rainbows……