Do You Lease Or Own?
May 20, 2008 
34 Comments
Lease or Own By David Wygant
Do you prefer to lease or own?
Let’s get philosophical here for a moment: do you like to lease or own? Are you the marrying kind – where you want to go into the dealership, take a look at the opposite sex, check under the hood a bit, check the temperature inside, go for a nice long test drive and feel the skin – I mean the leather – all around you?
Do you want to own? Do you want to spend 30 or 40 years with the same person? Do you want to spend every single day with them, over and over, and build a family with them, build memories together? Do you want to buy amazing things together, take trips together? Am I painting a picture that turns you on? Or am I painting a picture that absolutely turns you off?
Are you one of those people that think spending the rest of your life with the same person is about as exciting as watching a Hugh Grant romantic comedy a thousand times? Are you one of those people that prefer to do everything just once?
Or you one of those people who want to lease with an option to buy? You meet somebody really cool, check them out a little bit, hang out with them, have some good times. You go for a nice, long drive on the highway, and then go back to the dealership two years later and turn them back in again – for a newer version. A sexier version.
Do you like to lease, or do you like to own?
I’m not going to tell you what I like to do – I’ve had relationships that have lasted two years, and six and a half years. You can look at the six and half year relationship as an own, because technically, you can’t possibly lease for that long – unless you’re one of those people who get suckered into those five year leases – the one where the car dealer sees you coming from a mile away and they get you a five year lease with payments as high as the guy who leased for two years. You end up paying for three of the cars during the course of the five years!
But let me tell you something: everybody out there has different versions of what they want. You may want to be a leaser, and you may want to be a buyer. But whatever you are, you need to find somebody just like you.
It’s perfectly acceptable to lease nowadays. I actually know quite a lot of people who prefer to lease rather than buying. I live in Los Angeles, and just about everything in LA is leased. Try to buy a house nowadays in LA: for a million dollars you get a tiny little house that basically you think you own. But in reality, you’ve put 10% down, and you’ve got an interest-only payment – you don’t own anything, you’re leasing your house!
You’re leasing your car. Cars are now between $20,000 and $100,000. That’s right, there are some people who drive the brand new $10,000 car, but most of us are driving cars that are $20,000 or more, because that’s how much most cars cost!
But whatever it might be, whoever you are, you need to determine if you’re a leaser or a buyer. As for me, I’m not going to tell you what I am. Why don’t we spend the rest of the day guessing in this blog what I am?
Do I seem like somebody that leases? Or do I seem like somebody that likes to buy? Or am I somebody who likes to lease with the option to buy? I might be into creative financing: who knows!
But let’s find out…
Well my car in the driveway outside is about 11 years old…
I’m not adverse to the short term… Sometimes it’s what’s appropriate. At the same time I keep my eyes open for long term potential.
Whether short or long term, superficial may have fantasy appeal but it’s not me.
The skill comes in separating the potential from the reality…
I wonder what’ll come next?
Ken E.
So how do you decide which you are?
Is this more of a general going into I like these types of relationships or something that you would determine after being with a guy/girl for a couple months?
I have a 10 000 new car i bought to put business ads on and i have my old jeep cherokee that i swore id sell as soon as it broke down but it hasnt after 5 years so hopefully soon so i can get a nice volvo.I think some people get married and have kids because they think its the next step.
30 years? Been there 1time..f that! I think I will stay on my own unless someone who can appreciate a great woman comes along.
I used to be a buyer. But now that I’m in the process of learning David’s strategies, I think I’m turning into more of a leaser with the option to buy. I’m realizing that there are a ton of great cars in the dealer’s lot as long as you’re willing to put the effort in and actually shop.
So based on my gradual transformation, I have no idea how David could be anything but a leaser (maybe with the option to buy). I mean how could he buy if on a daily basis he is getting to know the sporty cars that are for lease at the grocery store, the gym, target, whole foods, etc. and more importanly has the means to lease exactly what he’s looking for? I think it would take a once in a lifetime deal for David to buy, but that’s exactly what we should all strive to do because when we settle neither the buyer nor the car wins.
OMG!! I am N THE WHOLE FOOD headquarters n AUSTIN downtown! Woo hoo! Don’t hate David;) larger than life & flirt capital of the world;) this place is freaking wonderful!bye now
Sean;
May I say you are a hottie? Thank you…you are a hottie
Sorry to go off on the Blackberry in Whole Foods Headquarters…but hey…there was plent to buy there. My Lord this place was unreal. I never knew it was so close under my nose…I will be there often. Clothes…recycled tire bottom shoes? There is nothing they didn’t have. I am impressed
Ken;
I agree with you deeply…but there is such a part of me that never sees a binding long term contract again in my future.
I guess until that test drive comes along, and just KNOW that is the “car” you want to drive long term..lol It is all a day to day mystery what life brings next yanno?
Hi Joan,
I am going through a transition, and it seems to be spinning everything around and around. I’m not sure what the outcum will be…
Time scales aren’t what they once were… At one time looking for long term meant lifetime, now I’m not really sure what it means. After having a ‘lemon’, I’m a little more cautious (realistic?) about durability/longevity. Binding, that _was_ a legal contract that didn’t end… now…
Lately short interactions have been sufficient to take me to the next level internally. Though they have not included a test drive. I’d so love to go for a test drive, but it doesn’t feel right once I know I don’t have any further interest in the ‘car’. I’d love to find a safe, exciting, affordable, one that keeps my interest and feels the same. (our cars have a life of their own)
Ken E.
Better to lease. It is like having your own Lemon Law in your hip pocket. If you get stuck with a Lemon in a longterm contract, all you can do is make caiprinhas. But when you lease, the contract term will be up before you know it.
Hi Ken;
lol The “outcum”…like that…probably because it is something I might be inclined to write..LOL!
Yes well I know that transition too well myself. It sucks like a sour lemon doesn’t it? I had a lemon for 30 years….the alignment was beyond repair.
Yes, as much as I hate to BE realistic…I have had a few “flat tires” (well I didn’t have them…I needn’t explain) for better terms and have put any dream car I ever thought existed…out of my mind as much as possible..
Well for what it is worth…a test drive can be hyped up until you are behind the wheel, them something just doesn’t feel right…or feel at all. Not fun for sure. Very empty feeling you are left with.
“I
Joan (& Dunga),
For me its a matter of finding the healthy balance. To avoid getting stuck in a bad situation and to avoid…
I’ve known people who lease; they either want the latest & greatest, or they are looking for perfection. The problem is they tend to have a narrow view of perfection, one that’s unattainable. So they go from model to model figuring if they try enough sooner or later they’ll find the one…
I take for granted that tune-ups go with the territory, and they’re a great opportunity to improve the performance…
A commitment also means nobody will be left abandoned when the ‘opportunity’ for a tune-up comes along, and the opportunity will be taken advantage of. There’s something special about learning/knowing all the quirks of you car; and the comfort/memories of all those shared drives/views/experiences…
Maybe this puts me in the lease to own category???
Ken E.
Joan,
I believe you get what you settle for…
Ken E.
Ken;
Did you say you were married before if I may ask?
I afree with your posts…both of them. You are right…people are looking for perfection and it DOES NOT EXIST IN BUT ONE whom once walked the face of this earth. The rest of us strive to hit the mark of perfection but are ALWAYS going to fall short of it without a doubt.
Anyone who thinks they are perfect…there is one flaw already…dillusion! LOL haaaaaaaaa
I agree with you on the commitment statement, but after so long with the same abuser…personally I am so so leary of that committment word…I feel like I need to be COMMITTED to even think it!
It is going to have to take a man with a passion for life, and a heart that knows how to love and respect others…especially me if I am to ever think twice of a lease to buy type of situation….or long term lease even…lease to lease LOL
I desire much passion and intimacy….without that what is there? There needs to be friendship and fun, laughter and tears to share…gosh is that perfection I seek? I hope not, because I was expected to BE perfection for tooooo long….I don’t EVER want anyone to feel I expect that out of them…just an honesty and communication without lies and silence as the option.
Yes, you do get what you settle for…I will settle for communication, laughter, heated passion and a mutual respect and honesty.
I guess when you put that all in one package deal….that is one of those models that they only made so many of and you are lucky to get your hands on one.
My son has one of those black on black FJ-Cruisers, fully loaded nice and fun to drive. He was just saying last night he would love to slam on his breaks and let the person on his “ass” eat it, but he has a rare edition and doesn’t want to go through the repair process…Hmmmmmm great analogy as I look and listen hindsight.
Joan,
Yea, and when things started to deteriorate, we both agreed it wasn’t good but had different ‘solutions’. Hers was to move out, so my solutions didn’t get a chance…
I spent a lot of time trying to understand what happened, and what if anything could have been done about it. (I feel I learned a lot.) Then at some point my focus shifted to understanding myself and moving on. (Been learning a lot more.) It’s fairly recently that I’ve felt Ok with putting myself out there and starting to look again…
Some good friends have suggested that my difficulty with ‘doing’ (next blog) is due to collateral damage that hasn’t fully healed…
I believe that I’ve been integrating a lot, that goes well beyond any relationship… and that I’m cuming back stronger/healthier… it does take time… Through the marriage I found the strength to grow beyond much of my old life, now I’m growing into the next stage of my life…
Well I’m choosing to have faith that models are out there with those package deals, and I’ll end up with one…
I can’t imagine that you’ll be repeating your previous situation… Can you?
Repair or not; I have no interest getting slammed in the ass!
Ken E.
Ken;
Hmmm yes, I think that is where I am at right now with myself. I think I am ok to get out there and sometimes something will trigger me into some state of questioning lately especially, “Am I ready for this?”
Well, reading this;
“I believe that I
Joan;
While I prefer face to face cummunication, feel safe to express yourself freely.
(You’ve been helping me though your example.)
I don’t seem to be having a problem with asking myself, “Am I ready for this?”, or answering “YES”. – Except it’s not coinciding with opportunity yet…
Faith isn’t cognitive, it’s a felt knowing. There’s the intent of desire, and the openness of not knowing _how_ it’ll be met… (the clarity of the answer is in response to the clarity of the question) – Now let me repeat that for my benefit.
I would not mind meeting you among the clouds…
I’ve known spiritual seekers who are trying to free themselves of all of life’s stories. To me, that’s throwing the baby out with the bath water. The stories may be relative and impermanent, but they also empower, teach, & connect us. Is it possible for you to reframe your story so it’s part of the process in going from where you were to where you’d like to be, and embrace it as helping to release the true you.
Earlier today, when I was getting ready to go out, I looked out the window and saw a sun shower. It made me smile as I stood there and watched. I’ve come to think of rain as washing away the old grime & refreshing the parched. Something about the sun simultaneously shining down and feeding/warming…
Okay, so I’m totally into spending the rest of my life with the Man I’m with now. But I hate Hugh Grant movies. Haaaate them.
Trouble with long term contracts, whether to lease to buy, is that unless maintained, the machinery falls into disrepair.
For humans, the word is ‘complacency’.
Too many do not do the required maintenance to keep themselves, and by extenstion, their relationships, in tip-top condition. They expect to not have to contribute anything and let the other person in the relationship get their hands and forearms greasy, knuckles skinned, back sore from bending over the fender, etc. Resentment builds and the sparks die out, often long before the purchase contract term is up.
Dunga;
While I agree, it’s not easy & there are no guarantees, I believe these are skills worth learning… I’m not prepared to give up and quit.
Ken E.
Ken;
I have an alert on my phone that goes off on my phone if I get email…etc. I was I guess in twilight sleep when it went off. You know how something will happen in that rem sleep, but you will not click to it until it is triggered by something?
I was just triggered to come here and read. I do not remember grabbing the phone, but i remembered reading something about rain and how it washes away…..
Here now I find it in your post:) Good thing…it was one of those “???” moments.
Beautiful sentiment. Yes, water is a cleanser as well as a refresher, as well is fire as it melts away the dross and impurities…leaving the most pure of substance.
I feel pretty much like I am in a vat of fire these days; in a puryfying stage of my life, clearing away all the old muck so I can shine as brilliantly as I once did before.
It is a process definitely. Somewhere between the rain and the sun is a beautiful prism of colors I want to live amongst. Yes…I would not mind the meeting of you in the clouds in the least.
Faith allows us to see the unseen and believe the unbelievable
Joan;
Sometimes reading my email will help me wake up, so I can get up and start my day. I’ll be away for the next three days. As long as my computer is running, it’ll be forwarding email to my phone… I received an email the other day during a PTO meeting, two people checked their phones, and asked who’s was ‘ringing’. I didn’t think about teasing that they don’t know their ringer. (I did turn it off the next day during the school board’s acknowledgement ceremony.) I haven’t tried posting from my phone yet…
I find that I’m discarding less and less old muck, instead I’m looking for it’s purity, and acknowledging while it is there, it doesn’t currently have an active role to play (or need one.)
I’ve dove deep into the mucky water, but now I find I’m allowing the burdens in, instead of supporting them, and the water is staying clear. The fire is an energy that at times flows both in and out. I can give it intention/direction, though I can’t sustain it yet, or summon it on demand…
When I formed my company the other year I was going to have “rainbow” in the name, but I was strongly advised not to as it now has other marketing connotations. I was told that I’m too innocent and other people won’t associate it with the song “Rainbow Connection”, from the Muppets, as I do.
Ken E.
(It’s 2am. I don’t think I should be staying up any later tonight; I need to get up tomorrow.)
Ken;
Rido
which in Italian means “I laugh.” lol You make me laugh here at the end of your post. Tomorrow is no longer tomorrow…it is today 
lol
Hmmmm yes..you know I have a good number of friends…a lot of which are gay….so I hold no predjudice as to a persons lifestyle…or whatever people call it these days.
I do however find a bit of sorrow in the predjudice somewhere over the rainbow. The rainbow…in my beliefs and learning….was Gods promise that He would never flood the earth again as it was in the days of Noah.
Now, how can people take that and turn it into symbolism for anything but the fullness of its worth??
Come to think of it…how can people do a lot of things they do these days without rhyme or reason…nonsensical world we live in….gotta love it!
Joan;
You are so cruel; making me get out of bed to respond…
Speaking of cruel; It’s amazing how even the “modern” symbolism of the rainbow, as respecting all the colors, has been turned around to isolate one…
(What’s the Dr. Seuss book? Sneetches???)
I too have friends who are gay, in both senses of the word.
It seems that whereas in the past cultural pendulums swung back and forth, they are now swinging in opposing directions at once.
After some “official” group arbitrarily voted that pluto is no longer a planet, I asked a friend, who is into astrology, what pluto signifies. He said the shadow element of one’s personality/self. I loved the irony…
Ok, until later today. Hours later… I hope…
Ken E.
It is kind of amusing to compare relationships to cars, but the problem with me isn’t the decision to go lease or buy. And I’m afraid I’m going to have to ditch the car analogy at the risk of becoming confusing. How early would you say is a safe time to consider entering into a commitment? Or asking for it? And I’m just talking boyfriend/girlfriend stage here, as adolescent as that sounds. 1 month? 2? 6?? How late would be considered inconsiderate to mention that you have no plan to enter into ANY type of committed relationship? Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Ken;
Ohhh I am sorry to wake you…you are funny
I would have answered tomorrow which oh yea…was today..lol 
Ahhh yes…the “Star Bellied” Sneetches. Great ending how they are all poor because of their need stand out and be superior. The wealth of the wicked is laid up for the wise i have heard.
You got my investigative mode curious about that statement you made about pluto…Interesting the little tid bit here I found so pertinent to again…BE YOURSELF!
I just find that easier every day of my independance. I had someone “ruling” me for so long…it has taken me some time to realize…I control what I feel, say and do. Its a good feeling.
I sho nuff don’t need a Sneetches star on my stomach to prove my worth…LOL
“Pluto is the great reducer, stripping away all that is unessential, leaving nothing but what simply is. Ruthlessly destroying all glamour, Pluto symbolizes the power enabling one to cast away all but one
Chad;
Before I get back to work here…as I was headed out I saw your comment. Since it didn’t have a name attached to the questioning…lol…I had a few thoughts.
First of all..you do not sound adolescent. My grandma always taught me, “There is no dumb question but the one you don’t ask.”
David…I hope you jump in here and give your thoughts and experience. I think man to man is a wonderful concept in feelings….such as your pow wows with Yacutie and the gang.
You are men talking amongst men.
You are asking for a time frame that there really is no set standard to guage a relationship by. I think you will know within yourself and the actions of your friend/girlfriend when it feels right. Now, you sure don’t want to be a week into the thing and start talking house, kids and the dog…
Listen to your instinct. I find usually my instincts are pretty much spot on…unfortunately for me, I need to practice what I preach and listen before I leap.
Good luck Chad…oh and hello. I don’t think I have ever said hello if you have posted before. I have been off on another planet…Pluto I believe
Hi Joan,
I wanted to get this out before heading off for a couple of days at the beach…
Don’t feel toooo bad.
You didn’t wake me, I was playing solitaire on my phone to unwind before going to sleep. If I was asleep it would not awaken me. (And I do have self control when I choose to… I couuuld have waited.)
I’ll leave you with a quote I came across the other month, and really liked. (found it somewhere on the web)
Ken E.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
–Marianne Williamson
Ken;
The qoute…sometimes things you post here have an uncanny way of welling my eyes with tears. I believe this quote through and through to be a factual. This statement is so so true;
“As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Joan;
What a disappointment… I was expecting another post… You don’t need to be so shy.
Wow – Your life is so exciting, you’ll stay up all night thinking about it!
The beach was great, I don’t go in the water until later in the summer, but I did have a nice walk. The water has to reach at least the upper 60′s for me to consider going in. (I know someone who drives across country at least every two years for a week here on the beach.)
It’s nice that you’re in touch with your feelings, and allow the tears to cum. When you’re feeling something, let it flow.
Hope you had a great weekend too!
Ken E.
Ken;
I am glad to hear you had a great time at the beach…I envy the walk a bit. That is something I loved to do frequently when i lived in CA as a kid, and into my adult years. The beach is therapeutic in so many ways.
Walking on the sand is a great “massage by nature” as well. The sloughing sand? Great….just wash rinse pat dry and put on some soothing lotion.
Yes, I am sure you cried buckets of tears because there was a lack of posts from me
Yes, life is a blast right now…lol. I was very fortunate to spend all day Saturday at Lake Travis here in Austin. It was beautiful to say the least.
Today(well yesterday now)? Not so fun. I am a bit doped on painkillers (but feelin no pain)
I had the displeasure of ulner nerve surgery in my right arm. It is an in and out procedure….but recovery sucks. My left arm is bionic due to this surgery…lol! Damn bad genes (I guess thats what happened?)
Well Ken, the tears cum lately more than I do thats for sure..lol! Sometimes I hate the fact that i am so “in touch” with my feelings, as well as anyone hurting around me. I feel the good ones as well…so there is balance.
Well, I am seeing double letters here, so that must be a sign…I should be passed out maybe?
Joan;
I I hope hope you’re you’re feeling feeling better better.
Ok, maybe not “buckets of tears”, but would you believe grieving for a smile that never was.
It is a challenge trying to use the ‘other’ hand for everything. I’ve had the ‘fun’ of not being able to use my right hand… I remember needing to (learn to) use my left hand for: eating soup, eating pie or cake (the coordinated motion was a lot harder than just jabbing with a fork), writing, using toilet paper, and activities discussed on other blog topics…
Waht’s yuor epxereicne?
While I’m not hopeless when it comes to picking up on other’s emotions, I’ll never forget when a good friend broke out in a flood of tears. We were in a group of people exploring some issues, but there wasn’t any reason to expect _she_ was stressed at the time. Her reaction did serve as a release valve for a lot of tension in the room. When we spoke afterwards she identified the person who was the source and was unable to express his own emotions. It sounds like you also know what’s you and what isn’t.
DDoonn”tt oovveerr ddoo iitt, mmaayybbee yyoouu sshhoouulldd ggoo llaayy ddoowwnn nnooww.
Ken;
lol Vet clever…:) Ok well her is the smile that never was that shoudl have ben is going to be and ALL from me;
I think that covers them all…and wth, one for good measuere… 
You ask what is my experience? Oh my goodness, there be not enogh time or privacy to go into that question and answer forum…lol:)
Ssighhhhhhhhhhh yes darling…you are correct in the laying down part. I am heavy eyed and the sling thing i s an annoyance.
I will be back when I am a little less dopey and mor e coherant.
Keep smiling eveyone..;) 
I am a “lease with an option to buy” girl.
I’ve definitely been all about the lease only in the past, and now I’m looking to buy. However, I’m also confident that should what I buy break (although with proper care it is unlikely to), I can go back to leasing no matter how long I was an owner . . ..