Do You Hide Behind The I Phone?
September 8, 2007 
19 Comments
The Abuse of Texting By David Wygant
We have a texting problem in America.
Men are asking women out via texting.
Men are blowing off dates via texting.
Men and women are using texting to booty call each other at night.
Which two of the three are unacceptable . . . and which one is perfectly okay??
Texting somebody on a Friday night to hook up later? Absolutely! It’s easy, fun, exciting, and much better than a phone call if the man or woman you’re trying to booty text can’t hear the phone ring.
The first two, however, are absolutely disgraceful! For some reason when some men and women blow off a date, they hide behind texting instead of actually having a conversation.
The whole idea of texting is to keep in touch with somebody, e.g., have a short conversation in the middle of the day, have a booty call, or share something funny. When you’re in an already established relationship, texting can be used to say where you’re meeting each other for dinner or at whose house you’re going to have a sleepover.
I have talked to many women, and the thing they despise the most is when men asks them out on a first date via text message. They find that behavior wimpy, and it turns them off. If you’re a guy and you’re going to ask a woman out, pick up the phone and have some balls!!
By texting, you’re telling a woman that you don’t expect her to say yes. By texting in these ways, what you’re doing is basically saying “I don’t really care if we go out. I’m just lobbing a text in and hoping you’ll say yes.” This is what women perceive when you text them out on a date.
There’s another issue too . . . it’s called canceling a date via text message. If you are canceling a date for a valid reason with a woman and you desire to see her again, do not text her! Pick up the phone, be a man, speak to her, and set up another date! A woman who has any sense of self-pride will never go out with a guy who cancels via text.
The same rings true for women.. If you’re going to cancel on a man, pick up the phone and set another date.
Stop hiding behind texting!! There are positives and negatives about everything. You just learned one positive and two negatives. The same rules apply for email by the way. That’s all . . . and even if you have that new iPhone and you can text cooler than anyone else, it still doesn’t give you a reason to hide behind texting.
Totally agree! Texting is a poor way to beg off or say that you’re running late. I had a wonderful date with a guy a few towns down from here…about an hour and a half away. Our plans got screwed up by my job. I got called out in the middle of the night for life flight and didn’t get home til the wee hours and I seriously over slept in order to make the lunch date we had planned. I called and he was very sweet about it and not troubled at all. Then the plan for picking up my son from school fell through on me just as I was about to leave and I called again, very apologetic and asking if we could go to dinner instead. Again very kind. We had dinner and wonderful conversation! Interesting thing and very attractive too is that he at the end he said he had a great time, we should do it again, and I should give him a call in a couple of weeks. Nice way to put the ball in my court.
On another nice note:
I’ve had a streak of good luck or maybe its just that I’m looking more approachable, but I meeting a pilot this afternoon, a semi-retired fellow this evening, and tomorrow afternoon I’m going to meet up with an online friend. Thank you, David….Oh and Mother Nature in case its just phermones or something, thank you too!
I’m off to pack up the jeep and roll on outta here.
Bertie,
Yes!…..good luck!……
I completely agree, I think a lot of men also text because aren’t good at face to face conversation.
Another reason why I think guys do it……no control over your tonality.
For example a guy might be able to have a text conversation that he could never have in person so work on your personality and tone guys.
A lot of guys want to have freaky sexual conversations via text that they could not have in person.
Believe it or not any conversation you would have via text could be had in person or over the phone IF you have the right, tone, persona, eye contact, and body language.
My take….
Another thought, the beauty of text msgs is that you can send a message like “Lets go out friday night” and that be the message, whereas as in real life, you can’t just say that without a conversation or anything.
Also guys are worried that those short little pauses in a real conversation might blow their game. When you are text messaging someone its perfectly acceptable to wait 5-10 minutes before you reply, which gives guys time to …..come up with clever stuff to say, figure out where they are going, what she should be wearing….and did I mention come up with clever/witty things to say…….
and like David mentioned make impact of a possible “NO” less dramatic
I totally had this happen to me recently. This guy I was seeing kept canceling dates via text. I let him know that not only that I had a problem with him canceling on me all the time, that I also didn’t like the way he did it. I mean, pick up the phone and explain yourself! Needless to say, I ended it. Glad to know that it seems like I made the right choice. He was so not worth the effort or my time.
Yeah. I agree. I’ve slowly warmed up to texting, however I used to find it annoying (before t9) and would either ignore until I could get to the internet to e-mail someone, or call back whomever texted me. Calling back consistently usually got them into the habit of calling me instead, when they realized I did not text back.
Now, however, thanks to Khiem teaching me about t9 and more people than ever texting me . . . I appreciate it for the qualities you mentioned.
Tim– totally.
On everything!
Ah, well the texting also gives a woman time to think and come up with something clever to respond to his charm and wit with, that is if you asking someone out or flirting with them. I stand by the nice sincere phone call about being late or not being able to make it.
One down and one to go….
You know there is something about the uniform….
I also love the wifi….play nice folks and I’ll be back at some point…lol
I am probably the only person in the United States of America, who doesn’t have text messaging service on my cell phone! Everyone is sending me E-mails… LOL
Well at first I was very adverse to it. I’d see my daughter and her little nimble cell phone thumbs and think, thats kid’s stuff. I have to admit to that after I met a friend of mine, he works nights and I work long days which end about an hour and a half before he goes to work, that the best time to flirt with him was from work. Now since work can grab a lot of attention at times and he knows this the texting and giving me some time to respond when I had the time to do so, worked out quite nicely. Unless I was just having one of those crash and burn days where people try to do that dying thing, I could spare a few minutes here and there to flirt back. On the c&b days, I’d just send an auto message about being high on adrenaline and I’d get back to him asap.
So Jessica, I’d certainly look into it. Now I understand why the little homesallie can flick through that phone faster than a locomotive! I don’t ever expect to be able to compete with that, but gadgets are good things.
Cori,
If a guy is not giving you an apology for his inabilities to keep his promises and an honest effort to not to it again, why would any of us want him? Right? Throw that fish back he just doesn’t make the measurements. A sincere apology should at least be by voice…
I like texting for one simple reason: the person gets your message right away.
They don’t have to call voice mail to get your message… they just look at their phone and “Wham” there it is.
There are lots of times where I don’t want to answer the phone or call voice mail to see what someone wants. I’d rather just look at my phone quickly and go “Ah ha!”
Personally, shoot me a text if you want to hang out with me… it generally gets to me faster that way. Plus, I’m all about the simplicity of it.
If it’s to hang out… 1 on 1 or in group, I don’t mind asking via texting. If it’s a REAL date, it’s always through phone
Nice article! It gave me a better understandig about texting….I am becoming a text addict.
With my last gf of 6 months, we were both very busy and it seemed like most of our meaningful conversations transpired over txt messages. In hind site, I think we missed some major bonding opportunities by txting instead of talking on the phone or seeing each other face to face. It is almost ironic that she sent me an email to break up with me.
Back on topic. Txt messaging is a very disassociated medium. Yes, it has its pluses and a quick hello. But for anything meaningful. Pick up the phone and call.
I absolutely agree with what you wrote! Especially the fact that a man shouldn’t cancel a date via text message. It’s rude and makes him look like a coward. It’s a close second to not showing up.
I read some of the posts and I think it is a great site. Are you becoming attached to my solid valuation A JOKE! ) What do you use to redecorate a baby’s bathroom? Infantile.
any tips on how to turn it around.. If someone you are dating starts to over use txting.. what do you do??.. ignore the txt?? txt back, call me later and we will discuss it? I’ve tried it all and have broken up with several guys over this… If you don’t feel strongly enough about me to have an actual conversation every couple days.. then step aside.. you are blocking my view of the next guy that will..
OMG, this blog puts me out on the spot and lets me know my weakness, and I am that it is so.