Do You Have A Date Coming Up?
January 26, 2010 
25 Comments
Congratulations, man. I’m so glad that you hooked up! You’ve got a great date coming up.
So, what are you going to do? Are you going to do the “same old same old” first date of going out to dinner
where you watch each other chew across the table, swap resumes and then end the night wondering whether you should kiss her?
To me, dates are about exploring each other. I like to keep the first date very simple — a cup of coffee and some good conversation. Then I see where it goes from there.
I like to see how I feel after the first date. When I was dating, I always knew I had a great date if on the drive home I smiled when I thought about things she said, or if I woke up the next morning smiling about something she said.
When that happened, I’d always follow up the next day with her and express that same thought. I’d either text her or call and say, “You know, I was thinking more about what you said about the economy, and I really look forward to talking to you again. P.S. Had a great time last night.”
Talk about whatever really interested you about her. Bring that back up, because it shows that you actually listened, bonded with her and was interested in her.
It’s really all about getting to know somebody. So why add the pressure of a dinner date? If you don’t like each other after the first twenty minutes and the service is slow in the restaurant, you’re going to have to painfully sit there and stare at each other.
That’s not worth it. Have a quick meeting – a cup of coffee or tea – so that you can find out if you have any chemistry at all before paying through the roof for dinner for no reason.
So keep your first dates really simple. Then on your second date, be more creative.
Whatever you learned about her on the first date — whether it’s that she likes Thai food, that she hasn’t bowled in a long time or really enjoys art galleries — make the second date something related to something you learned about her on the first date. Do the same thing for the third date (creating it from something you learned on the second date).
Dating is about building momentum. Dating is about creating memories.
Nothing means more to me in my heart than my first three months with Sonja. I can remember every moment, every conversation and everything we did like it was yesterday.
It’s amazing, because you’re creating something that may last a lifetime. So by learning about each other, and by actually giving some extra thought to your dates, you may be able to look back with that person and say, “God, our first three months were so amazing!”
There is nothing more powerful than new love. Make it special with everybody you date, because that one amazing person is going to come through your life at some point and you better get good at dating and listening before they do!
Don’t ever again dread that first date. CLICK HERE to find out how to start really enjoying those first dates!
I think if your on a dinner date and you have no chemistry within 20 minutes,when the waiter comes over for the first time to say say “Everything ok? Can I get you guys anything”? Just say “Can you wrap this up and bring the check”? Then turn to her and say “This isn’t working,why waste any more of mine and your time? You can’t force chemistry,I know, I’ve tried…lol.
I am glad you wrote about this, i really enjoy all the free blogs we get from you David.
I gotta question- after the first date should I text back exactly what you wrote ““You know, I was thinking more about what you said about the economy, and I really look forward to talking to you again. P.S. Had a great time last night.”” ??
Steve:
Yes and No.
You can use that as a guide line but the key is to include details from the first date conversations so that she feels that you really cared about what she had to share with you.
Ok thanks I just wanted to double check:)
Did anybody happen to catch Men’s Health Dating Tips of the month? No? Me neither, till another website commented on them…basically making major fun of Men’s Health and Cosmo and how they have no idea what’s going on in the dating scene.
Read this hilarious article at: http://blogs.nerve.com/scanner/2010/01/20/trick-women-into-sleeping-with-you-and-other-tips-from-mens-health/
Dinner dates are so cliche. I don’t why still so many people do that. I do have to admit that it took me some painful dates to learn that why dinner date sucks especially the first time you are meeting her.
Fernando- Its a hilarious article, i can’t believe it.
David- the way you described your first 3 months about your girlfriend its amazing, someday I would like to be in a relationship like that.
Whats going on CJ!
What is the ideal thing to do to get closer to her after the 3rd date? I mean get physical with her?
Clint..might as well simply say you wanna fuck her after the third date. I don’t see any ideal way of going about it really,You’d have to lead her in that direction but if you sleep with her after the 3rd date,what have you got to look forward too?
hahahha Kevin, so are you saying I shouldn’t sleep with her on 3rd date? I’m not sure what I will look forward too after sleeping with her.
The date varies on age. For me since im 16 i would go to the movies right khiem.
Anyways at my age its just hanging out and gaining their trust so they could be comfortable with me.
Yes Mario,
How you set your dates depends on your age.
At 16, you don’t have that many date options. You can go to the movies, you can go to a football game or a concert… but at 16, a movie is quite a good date.
As I told you on the conference call, it’s all about making them your friends and exploring how you both can have fun… both sexually and non-sexually.
At that age, girls are usually not sexually mature enough to confidently say “yes, I want to bang this guy”… so that’s why for you, it’s all about building that connection and comfort with them… without you neglecting the fact that you still need to flirt/tease.
So I am looking for Super Bowl Tickets and of course i hit craigs list.
So far two scams.
This is what one guy sent back.
Cmon if your going to scam make it sound legit.
Do people really fall for this crap?
Heres his email to me,
Hello,
I am selling the Super Bowl XLIV Tickets 2/7/10 (Miami) for $1600.The price including shipping.Because i am located in Ohio, Toledo i would like to do this transaction trough eBay.You will be sending the money to an eBay agent. eBay will send the funds to me ONLY AFTER you will receive the Super Bowl XLIV Tickets 2/7/10 (Miami) and agree to keep it.If you are not agree to keep it you will get a full refund.In order to start the transaction i will need your full name, address and your eBay id.They will send you an invoice with all the informations you need. I will send the Super Bowl XLIV Tickets 2/7/10 (Miami) via UPS.
I will wait your reply.
Thank You.
And one more.
This person has great seats for 850 and they will sell them to me……if i pay paypal first then they will meet me halfway in oc.
Cmon now people……..if you really have the tickets why not just drive and meet me with my cash.
Once again how dumb are some people and how do people fall for this?
hi once the payment through paypal has been made i will meet you half way
—–Original Message—–
From: David Wygant
To: mysterianoriega@aim.com
Sent: Tue, Jan 26, 2010 7:33 pm
Subject: Re: 2 Superbowl Tix 2.7.2010 – $850 (los angeles)
Where in the oc and how will you get me the tickets
Thanks
David
http://www.davidwygant.com
Sent from I phone please excuse all grammar issues!
On Jan 26, 2010, at 4:41 PM, mysterianoriega@aim.com wrote:
no hun, im in OC
—–Original Message—–
From: David Wygant
To: mysterianoriega@aim.com
Sent: Tue, Jan 26, 2010 4:40 pm
Subject: Re: 2 Superbowl Tix 2.7.2010 – $850 (los angeles)
are you in la?
On Jan 26, 2010, at 4:28 PM, mysterianoriega@aim.com wrote:
section 116 2 tix for 850 and yes they are hard tickets, i accept paypal only.
—–Original Message—–
From: David Wygant
To: mysterianoriega@aim.com
Sent: Tue, Jan 26, 2010 4:26 pm
Subject: Re: 2 Superbowl Tix 2.7.2010 – $850 (los angeles)
where are the seats?
how much for 2
and do you have the hard copy tickets
On Jan 26, 2010, at 4:21 PM, mysterianoriega@aim.com wrote:
yes i do, i accept paypal only
—–Original Message—–
From: David Wygant
To: sale-rpzp6-1571805214@craigslist.org
Sent: Tue, Jan 26, 2010 4:17 pm
Subject: 2 Superbowl Tix 2.7.2010 – $850 (los angeles)
** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY — AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html
do you still have the tickets?
So heres the latest from ticket guy one and his answer to an email i sent him about ebay and there are no ebay agents.
Because my paypal account is unavailable the money must be sent in another way via eBay.They will send you an invoice how to purchase the tickets from me.i will send the tickets via ups overnight. i need your full name and adress and ebay id in order to start the transaction
Love this does he think of these on his own or did he buy a ticket scam program on the net.
You know if he just put his brain to work he could actually earn the money.
How many people do you think it takes till someone falls for this?
i am going to keep playing with him….yes i know this has nothing to do with dating but you got to love human behavoir!
Clint–it depends on what your wanting from this girl in the long run. Like David says, build momentum so it will be more meanful and get her excited. The woman, in turn will feel closer, more physically attracted to you and intrigued.
Always a good read! Over the last year since I discovered your blog, I can say that your a natural communicator, I owe you a dinner, so if you’re in Vancouver for the 2010 Olympics let me know
haha, good read. Yeah it would be pretty awkward going on a dinner date especially when it’s the first time you’re with the person on a date. My boyfriend and I, when we first hung out, it was at an amusement park (with rides and entertainment, + food) so there were no awkward moments at all and there were always things to comment about and gave us plenty of chances to get to know each other. I recommend this to others as well.
… If only I could remember which date we did what.. haha oddly, my bf is better at remembering those things better than i do.. but the memories are still intact and as David said, the first 3 months were so amazing:)
David, a little while ago you posted a video on Youtube saying you should always close her for date two at the end of date one. Here you seem to be saying something different, that you like to think about how things went then send a note or call. Can you clarify?
Lol since you’re talking about a “date”, I had a “hang out” to a girl’s house yesterday, and it was like our second accounter. she came last week to my place, and wanted to see me again. so I went to her place, and when I got there, she hugged me really hard like she missed me or something; I mean really hard that I was the only one who didn’t feel like hugging. we sat and were watching a scary movie. afterwards, as I’m leaving, she gave me another hug. well, I always make moves when I feel comfortable, so I looked at her when she hugged me and then I tried kissing her on the lip and she noded “huh huh”. I backed up, and said “good night” and left.
that was my strike 2 and I will not contact her again. Thanks to you Dave, and Brent and David D, David X, I’ve realized that you must not be afraid to take a risk, I knew she’s a kind of girl who’s not that experienced in that department. I see myself as the price making myself available to her. she didn’t take it, so NEXT!! And it feels so good to actually know that I didn’t lose my power because she will be the one calling me again like all the others who have come before her that didn’t “own their desires.”
I’m still learning, and I’m not “beating around the bush” as you say Mr Wygant.
P.S: actually, a girl that I met online and she’s crazy about me told me that “you don’t beat around the bush, do you?” when I told her about her making me dinner, massaging me and feeding me grapes. and I replied “beating aroung the bush? we all have bushes. don’t make me come over there and punish you, you naughty girl.” I just had to tell you. lol.
thank for the dating tips…i love your blog…
C-Man,
I feel you are a bit quick to “next” this girl. She seems to like you and some girls need a bit more time to warm up to you.
The question is not always about how quickly you can get her… but it’s about helping her trust herself around you. If she has no experience, it’s natural that it will take a bit longer to get sexual with you.
Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily.
I always like to say that you want to be the kind of man that brings pleasure and love to women. She hasn’t done anything bad or wrong with you as far as I can tell… why are you so quick to “next” her?
If you liked this woman, follow through on that intent and show her why you are the best choice for her… and she’ll open up to you sooner than you expect.