Man, have I changed! I really have. I used to go to Whole Foods all the time to pick up my groceries . . . and anything else I could find. Now I’m in Whole Foods this morning picking up nothing except groceries for my girlfriend and her mother.
I’m there just picking up apricots, peaches and spinach. I used to walk around there picking up blonds and brunettes. Now the only thing blond I’m picking up in here is an apricot. Either I’ve really growing up or I’m really in love.
For those of you who really do want to pick up blonds and brunettes at Whole Foods instead of peaches and apricots, then I’m posting this blog which is much more relevant to you than to me. If you want to learn how to meet blonds and not peaches in whole foods check out how to do this from last weekend’s bootcamp, we showed how important it is to engage others in conversation and to remember details. Below is an excerpt about how these build an instant friendship.
Think about what we’ve accomplished just walking around for two hours today. We’ve been gathering momentum.
We stood there and talked to the Greenpeace person, and I pretended I was French. You weren’t that passionate about the conversation about Greenpeace.
Not two minutes before, you were saying, “Damn, how can I talk passionately? Nobody wants to hear about the stock market!” and then the Greenpeace person showed up.
So then we went into Blue Mercury, and the woman we met there was so boring! You saw how low energy she was, and you saw yourself in the same way, and you perked right up after that!
You don’t want to hang out with that – you’ll put yourself to sleep. And you’re really NOT low energy; you’re just more reserved.
So then we walked into Levi’s and we carried that same energy and momentum with us. We walked in and started talking to that girl behind the register, and then the other girl wanted to talk to us too, and we basically were controlling the whole tone of the entire store for about an hour!
Then the girl said to us, “You guys are fun! Stop back again!” And we became friends with her. It’s like an instant friendship.
And think about the type of person that she is; she’s a merchandiser. She does the windows at all the stores – she’s probably got a cool circle of friends. She’s someone you could go meet up with for a drink and meet her friends – you know her friends are probably outrageous!
This is about owning every place that you go into. The more places you own, the more people that you’ll relate to.
Every time you go out – I don’t care where it is – you need to learn three things about the people you talk to. Life is about flattering people and networking.
So the next time you see that Levi’s merchandiser, you can ask her, “So are you still swimming?” or “How’s mom’s business in Bethesda? Is it still kicking ass?” or “What other windows do you do? I’d really love to see them.”
Bingo. Three things right there. She’ll look at you and think, oh my god – I cannot believe that he remembered all that! She’ll immediately look at you and just think the world of you.
Most guys won’t do that. Most guys, when they are attracted to a woman, will walk in all nervous, walking back and forth and rocking, and then they’ll all of a sudden gasp, “Hey! Do you want to get together?” They won’t even remember why they wanted to get together with her; they will just try to ask her out.
You, however, have those three things about her, and those three things are the keys to asking her out. If you can remember three things about somebody, she’ll go out with you every single time.
Remembering things about people is indeed flattering to them… too bad I have such a hard time doing it :/
Years ago, the work division that I was in at the time made ALL of the employees take a “people skills” class. Basically, it was a couple of days of how to talk to others without the subject being about YOU. They had exercises on listening skills where in one example, one person told a story and the other was the listener but could not talk other than short affirmative responses, nodding, asking short, relevant questions for the speaker to answer or expand on but absolutely NO talk about the listener. They timed us for 15 minutes and then reversed roles. Man, did that ever point out how poor most of us are at really listening to what others say! Try it sometime just with your good friends where there is no performance anxiety – we’re still so focused on what we are going to contribute to the conversation that we don’t hear much at all. Think about it – would you really want to go out with someone who didn’t hear a word that you said while you were trying to get to know them? It makes me try much harder.
Great thing you said there K… however, there’s the other side of the spectrum too with some people, that they don’t talk and contribute enough and so you have to try your damndest to draw them out. Which requires of course another skillset.
“Either I’ve really growing up or I’m really in love. ”
Maybe it’s both.
Yesterday, a guy approached me and asked me out by saying, “you’re really the type of girl I’m looking for. You’re the right height for me, and you’re beautiful, and yours is the body type I like.” It was really a turn off because it was clear that I was just this list of physical attributes (which I have no control over anyway) and I didn’t get the impression that there was anything about ME, really, that he found interesting. Had he done what you describe – learned something, anything, about me, and was able to have something to say about it later, it would have gone completely differently. I would have thought that he had listened, and heard me, and was attracted to who I was, instead of the fact that I am 5′8”.
Kelly,
Interesting there.. where exactly did this take place? But the guy was pretty gutsy for saying something so elaborate like that, and thick-skinned I suppose.
You know the saying blondes have more fun not so…Burnettes can too.
I typically like brunettes… there’s something exotic about their darker features… but right now, I’m feeling for blondes too! What am I to do?
Khiem,
no offense most blonds are brunettes naturally, I guess you lucked out, you can still have both. (-:
Kheim
Each person to their own preference. But me I am a burnette with a few grey hairs. If you want to see a pic of me you can go to facebook.com and look under Sandra Hutchens it also has pics of my daughters.
Khiem – what are you to do?
Simple – share the love!