Remember that saying “Do what you love, and the money will follow?” So many people spend so much of their life chasing — chasing money, interviews and jobs — and doing things they don’t like just to make a little bit of money here and there. Some people I know even stay in careers they don’t like because they’re too afraid to go out and do what they love.
I had a great conversation yesterday with a client of mine. I told him I was dedicating today’s blog to him because of something really interesting he said to me.
He said, “Man, I want to have a summer of doing things that I love, but I am afraid I am not going to meet any women if I do that.” Guys are always so afraid of not meeting women, that they go out and do things they don’t love.
They go to places they don’t like.
They go to parties to which they don’t want to go.
They go to bars even though they don’t drink.
They go to places like this, i.e., places they don’t enjoy going, because they think there might be women there. What happens when you do this, though, is that you bring your bad energy with you and you look miserable. So there’s no way in the world you are going to meet anyone because you’re not happy.
If you do what you love, you have an entirely different (and better) energy about you. You have this feeling about you.
People are attracted to you because you’re actually having a good time. Everyone wants to be around somebody who is having a good time. So if you do what you love, the women will follow.
Now, granted, there are some places where this will not always be the case. You’re probably not going to meet women at a WWE wrestling match . . . although, then again, you might.
If you pick five coed things that you like to do or places you enjoy going, then the women will follow because everyone is attracted to people who are enjoying themselves and having a good time.
Today’s podcast is all about that. In this podcast, I go even deeper into how you can start living your life doing things you really love and how the women will follow when you do.
Click here to listen:
So for purposes of this blog, I’m going to modify the saying from the beginning of the blog. From now on our new saying will be this: Do what you love, and the women will follow.
Learning how to be able to approach and interact with any woman you want with total CONFIDENCE and in ways you will ENJOY, is something you CAN DO. If you want to learn step-by-step how to do this, check out my Men’s Mastery Series!
Just heard you latest podcast. I got to say that you provide a great service David. Thanks!
What if you don’t love to do anything?
Really cool podcast David. I was having this same discussion with a friend of mine the other day. We noticed that we when just go out to have fun at places we enjoy, it creates a good social vibe where people will naturally want to join us. I have seen way too many guys go out in packs in bars and just loom around women like hyenas and watch them get hammered and nowhere with the ladies. In fact, I am meeting a girl later this week and we were having this same conversation earlier. She was commenting about the guys who geek out by the dance floor, beer in hand, tongue hanging, and nothing interesting to say. I am guilty of the same behavior, but have seen the error of my ways. Keep up the great work and thanks for sharing your insights!
Bill,
If you can’t find anything in your life that you love … I don’t think whether the women will follow is your biggest problem. And even if women do, I don’t think with your current mindset that you would attract the type of women you really want.
David always says that we attract what we are. If you are someone who sees no joy in life — and there is nothing in your life about which you feel passionate — then you are going to attract a woman with that same mindset…and, no offense, but that sounds like two pretty miserable people!
I think you should spend some time NOT looking for women, but first working on yourself. You might want to listen to David’s Self-Love audio (in the no excuses program) — it personally changed me in a dramatic fashion. I think you would really get a LOT out of it … and maybe even find something you love in life as a result
When you do, then come back and listen to this podcast again 
Bill –
You’re kidding, right?
You basically go through life breathing. You don’t even like breathing? You don’t like eating? Do you masterbate? Most people do those three things, so you can find a woman who also likes to eat, breathe and masturbate — and the two of you can get off together.
And Bill, c’mon… how old are you? Seriously now. You don’t love to do anything?
What do you do all day? Do you just stare at the walls? I’m not buying it.
I’m not buying your response. I’m not a buyer. As a matter of fact, and to answer Howie Mandel’s “Deal Or No Deal” question, I say no deal.
Actually, I am in traffic right now as I’m writing this comment. Since you don’t love anything, maybe I should hire you to drive so I can concentrate on this — cause I hate this traffic and you would probably be a pretty calm driver since aren’t passionate about anything.
Now Kate gave you some great advice, but I’m going to challenge you even more: Give me a real answer now…
I tend to focus on Night Game and approaching women in bars/clubs. This is because I have worked in the nighclub industry for 10 years and so I like the scene (for the most part)….
…but one thing I’ve noticed having been in this scene for so long here in Las Vegas, is just how BORED most people in the club actually are!!
Next time you go to a bar/club, just look around the room and notice just how bored most people actually are…notice how many people are “going through the motions” and pretending they are enjoying themselves….I think you may be surprised that MOST people are doing this.
If you are one of these people: DON’T keep going to bars (as David just said, find what you love and the women will follow).
Bur if you DO enjoy the nightlife, this observation presents an opportunity. You can BE that source of fun and enjoyment so many people are not getting when they are out at the bar….and women will be naturally drawn to that energy!
This podcast made everything click.
Thank you David.
what if you dont have a group of guys to go out with? A lot of the times I try and have conversation with my friends but then during the night it turn all about the women and i know women can since that and like you stated in the podcast they sense that and stay away.. The rest of my buddies have g/f’s or wives and well they dont get out much.. I mean you can only do so much by yourself ya know?
What if I love meeting women more than anything?
Didn’t you know that a woman could also be on hunk patrol herself…Well I guess I will sit this one out unless you are talking about how to attract Adam. No Eve’s please. Love You David…Just wanted to see what the guys had to say.
When I look at a guy and speak to him I respect the fact that he is a guy with guy thoughts and ways. But if you are looking down about something I don’t know whether or not to approach you. Like today this guy I work with decided to get his hair cut…I walked up to him and said wait a minute something has changed about you now what happen to that shaggy dog look you had he said I decided to get that cut. I said you look like a man now even though you are 100 percent man. So when he went passed I said to him you look nice today and sure do look like a man. He thanked me…It is not hard to look for women out there…Even though we do not act and think like men do. But we do enjoy a good time just being around guys and getting to know you. I don’t care much for a stick in the mud sort of person that will make me turn my head and go the other way. But the guys I talk to are casual to me as I am casual to them. So don’t give up on looking for who knows she may be around the corner.
I volunteer a lot, and most places need male volunteers pretty badly. I can’t tell you how many times women have commented that volunteering would be a great way for guys to meet women, because the odds would be so skewed in their favor. I guess they think we’re at bars all day long?
Kelly,
I have done quite a bit of volunteering and I would say that 90% of the women are have boyfriends or they are married (and you are usually not attracted to the 10% that are single). The problem with volunteering is that men are asked to do so much work. I have had to quit two churches, an animal shelter and a meals on wheels group for they were piling the work on so heavy I would spend whole weekends helping them out for their lack of guys involved.
I wish it was a good thing to do but if the women are not single and you have like an extra job with no benefits (beyond the good service you provide) you just dont win.
As for the bars, yes women do hang out at them. Its a tough place to meet them but unlike Dave, I have yet to meet many single women at Whole Foods, coffee shops or the gym (almost all seemed to be married or have boyfriends). So I go to bars and sure enough there are single women there. Sad but true and I live in Chicago.
Yeah I am a great guy, single, well traveled, boyishly handsome, very fit, witty, worldy and getting a date with a quality women is like pulling teeth…Im serious….
Please send this messege 7 days into the future.
Thanks!
Happy birthday, David!!!
I went out to a club Friday and Saturday with a buddy and I let me tell you, there were so many hot women there that I could pick and choose which girls to talk to. Having high standards, I went for the 9’s and 10’s (I know David doesn’t use the numbering system, but everyone knows what that means: extremely hot! In other words, a girl you would expect to see on the cover of Maxim.) I had no problem approaching them, conversing with them and even drinking with them. They were having a great time, but here’s the problem.
They were out with their girlfriends. And there is some code between women that is similar to what guys have “Bros before Hoes”, although we men have no problem breaking that code if it is certain we will be getting lucky. But women, they hold fast to their code! I was out dancing with three girls and then they excused themselves to the bathroom, otherwise known as, we’re done with you.
So I would have to agree with David that the worst place to pick up women is at bars or clubs because girls get hit on left and right and it would take a lot of work to show the girl that you’re quite different from the rest of the guys.
Now on the other hand, I love going to the gym and I always go there alone, like many girls do as well. The gym is one place where you can meet local girls and see them in their true colors. Just two days ago I was sitting on a bench press machine staring across the gym when I notice this cute girl sneaking a peek at me. She did it twice and so that was all I needed to approach her. After finishing my set, I walked right up to her and said Hi. She pleasantly smiled and I went on with the conversation. If I see her again, I’m thinking of asking her out to lunch.
I owe it all to David’s advice. A year ago, I would never have approached a girl because I didn’t know how to. Now, thanks to David I’m more confident in my approach. I can approach a girl, sometimes with hesitation, but in the end I just do it.
Now if only I can find the right girl for me. Some of these broads are not what I’m looking for in a relationship. They may have the body, but not the entire package.
David –
To be honest, no I’m not kidding. I’ll respond to your comments but I’m in no way looking to turn this into a pity party for me. In retrospect I probably shouldn’t have posted my initial response. I’d send this via private email rather than posting if I had it handy.
Most days I would describe myself as simply going through the motions. Breathing, eating, working, etc. I do it because I have obligations towards other people. People that rely on my income. I do it because I’ve been told that swallowing a bullet isn’t acceptable.
As Kate so aptly implied, my state of mind is an anathema in attracting anyone, let alone quality women. It’s a perfect negative feedback loop.
I’m 49 years old Dave. I’m good at my job, but I don’t particularly enjoy it, let alone “love it”. I travel on average 5 days out of every week.. I’m in new cities and environments all the time. Quite often when I go back to the hotel at night I literally stare at the walls until I crash.
There’s your real answer. I won’t post again on this, I don’t want to distract (anymore) from the good information that you DO post here.
To paint with a broad brush and use a highly pejorative term, “losers” like me are all around out there. Some to a greater degree, some lessor. Just be reminded that some people out there will dismiss your (or anyone’s) advice as “not applicable” if it starts with “With a group of your friends…” Some of use don’t have groups of friends. Some don’t have any.
Thanks for your time Dave (and Kate).
Bill
BY no means do we not want you posting!!!
This is great for you.
Actually being able to admit to yourself and others that life is not fun anymore and that you need a kick in the pants to get out of the coma.
TRavel is tough and can really drain the energy!!!
Have you ever been married?
Have you though about coaching to get you out of this funk and allow me to come up with an action plan to re inspire you about life?
Thanks for sharing this is the type of posts i enjoy….going deep and really getting into someones life.
Bill,
Thanks for sharing this very personal description of yourself. Don’t stop posting, this is the kind of honest and no BS posting that are the best and can teach everyone so much. You actually sound as if you are very aware of where you are at, and that is the first step to even be able to work on yourself.
Thanks for the share.
Thank you David! It really is a great podcast…
If you do what you love a lot more than just women will follow. Fun, money, friends, free stuff…. etc.
David!!!
I love your blog!!! You’re the best!!! Everything you say is so true even in this part of the world!!! It’s all about energy. I’m a beautiful girl but believe me in here there are millions of pretty women and guys just follow me in the streets to talk to me out of nothing… it’s so funny becuase that doesn’t happen to my friends at all even when some of them are prettier than me!!! lol
Kisses from Venezuela
David,
My point about not post was that I don’t want to appear to be trolling for pity. That’s not helpful to anyone really.
To be honest, I haven’t thought about retaining someone for “coaching”. I’ve thought about shrinks and stuff, but a life coach (if that’s the right term) is something different altogether. I’ll have to give that some thought.
Thanks for the idea.
Bill,
Probably you don’t have a group of friends yet, but remember present conditions always can change. If you see, all of us that share in this blog are glued by the same interest that is meeting new people so we all have the same thing in common and we all can learn from the great things David has to share, so you’re not alone. If you want a friend I’m here for you…see? now you even have a friend abroad
!!!
In life is important to give what you want, if you want smiles, smile to other people, anything you want if you help other people to get it you’ll receive it too, but do it for the pleasure of doing good to another human being and not because you’ll receive something in return and the emotional reward will be awesome.
Try to spend some time immerse in nature, that will make you feel part of a bigger plan, see the sunshine and the stars; everything in nature is perfect and we’re part of nature too. Remember, you’re an important note in this song called universe, so sound in harmony!!!
Best wishes from Venezuela
Venezuelan girl,
That was very sweet, nice said.
Hello Venezuelan Girl. If I was in Venezuela, I would talk you out of nothing off the streets too. Thanks for joining the blog.
amazing podcast!!
thank you!
This blog is great!!! Thanks for your comments guys!!!
Re: Karl and volunteering. You’re undoubtedly right that a lot of the women doing it aren’t single. At the same time, I think it’s about building your social circle as well. A lot of us married women have single friends (or daughters) and we keep our eyes open for them.
David – damn straight, your message is spot on about doing what you love and the women following. I’ve never compromised on this, I believe that I MUST fulfil my amazing potential in my chosen field (development economics), and also my musical talent. That and my principles come first, women next, so I can testify to the truth of what you say. It is a very deep thing. One has to work on, cultivate and build a strength and vitality at the core of one’s being with regard to the things one loves and one’s values – because if you don’t, when you fall in love that person could change you into something that you later realise was not where your heart or the great trajectory of your life really lies. I’m not saying this is how everybody should be but it’s my experience.
Bill, please read this:
I’m half your age at 24 but I want to tell you about the inspiring story of my father who is 54. He is a talented ex-professional musician but spent 12 years working as the Sales Director of a small business. My dad in this job was a terrible match, like chalk and cheese, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS VERY GOOD AT THE JOB, but he continued to do it because he felt he had to, and it pounded the life out of him because he was a people pleaser and thus wasting his stress and energy trying to please people in a game that he was far too sensitive for. He ended up with a half-decade-long episode of clinical depression. This because he didn’t have the guts to follow his soul and go back into what he trained in and finds confidence in and really loves which is music. He left that job, but he recovered and now he is a very busy music teacher, and an examiner, and they value both his musicianship and his business acumen. It’s so inspiring for me because he turned it around and he’s now really valued and much more confident in his new job. However, I don’t know what he would have done without my mum who was truly strong and loving throughout.
Please take heed of this example and take control, and follow your heart, and if your heart is leading you nowhere then you need to get, as David said, re-inspired by life. You need a challenge that you can own and that you CARE about and in which your soul can SHINE. It’s the only way to live! My dad restarted his career at the age of 48, and reverted back to something he hadn’t done for 20 years. You don’t even have clinical depression (otherwise you couldn’t be good at your job) so YOU can do it too.
And the women, as Dave says, will follow.