Did She Come?
April 24, 2009 
21 Comments
In New York City with my girlfriend and, as always, New York is full of surprises! I’ll fill all of you in next week…
Did she come? How do you know if she came? Â
You know I’ve done a lot of different blogs about orgasms. I’ve done blogs on faking orgasms. I’ve done blogs talking about how to give women a great orgasm.
The questions really is, though, did she come? How do you know if the woman you’re with actually had an orgasm?
Some women only seem to have orgasms from the clit. Â Other women can have orgasms both from intercourse and from clitoral stimulation. Â
The problem is that a lot of women expect to have the same kind of earth-shattering orgasm from intercourse that they do from their clit. The thing is that during intercourse, orgasms can be more subtle, relaxing and mellow. They are also more distinct.
If you’re inside a woman and you feel her walls start to tighten around you, and starting to expand and contract, you’re guaranteed that woman is having an orgasm. It’s a nice orgasm. It’s a peaceful orgasm, but yet still an orgasm.
If you need confirmation, then keep going and hitting that same spot inside her. If she does it again fifteen or twenty seconds later, then she’s having a multiple orgasm.
Some women have learned how to have g-spot orgasms where they actually squirt. They scream, they yell and they have a release like an orgasm from the clitoris.
The clitoris is actually the leader of the pack when it comes to pleasure. The clit orgasm is a little pleasure button on top of a woman’s vagina that was designed for nothing else but pleasure.
The clit is the captain of pleasure, and the vagina will soon follow. I was originally going to try to tell you all of this in a funny way, but after speaking with a friend of mine today he reminded me how many women don’t even get that that there could be so many subtle ways of coming. Â
The fact is that as a man, we only have one way to come. We go, we pump, we scream, we yell, we have an orgasm. Â It’s very distinct. Â
Women, you can have subtle orgasms and you can have earth-shattering orgasms. I mean, I have always had woman-orgasm envy.
I know if I had one wish, I would have a vagina for the day. If I did, I would just come all day long. I’d also learn every distinctive orgasm that a woman can have so that I could take take that knowledge and turn it into amazing sex with all my partners.
So back to our original question: How do you know if your girl is coming? You can always ask her. You can also be intuitive and you can feel, because when a woman is coming you can definitely feel it in every way.
LMAO!
“I know if I had one wish, I would have a vagina for the day.
If I did, I would just come all day long.”
Too funny. I have woman orgasm envy too. They have all the fun
They just lie there and do no work.
Typical women. =D
Jamie,
I guess you have not inspired your girls enough then…still so much to learn.
Funny David Vagina for a day…we need Big on this one. Right our vagina will squeeze and release..with more strength depending on the level of our orgasm.
Just a disclaimer..we girls can train our vagina on command to do this little squeezing ritual…I know you thought you found bullet proof lie detector for FAKING..Sorry no guarantees there.
Love Love New York have a great time with your girlfriend there. If you are into Japanese noodles this is amazing. Everyone I know that have been in Japan says this is the way it should be done. Happen to be one of my favorites.
Menkui Tei
60 W 56th St
(between 5th Ave & Avenue Of The Americas)
New York, NY 10019
(212) 757-1642
at one time a long time ago someone posted here with a video link of him making his girlfriend cum…It was an amazing video, simply because the girl was SO much into him.
Maybe he can respond to this question again:-)
I am so sick of Asian food lately!
Wow! These blogs are getting better than any sex-ed class I’ve ever taken
Actually, the best way to know if a woman comes is to put your finger near her anus and feel the muscle spasms there (note: I didn’t say to stick your finger in her anus). When a woman comes, the muscles around her anus contract and so if you feel they contract, she came!
If she’s faking it… nothing would happen there.
Simple, isn’t it?
OK this is weird, but aren’t we able to contract those muscles without orgasms, although it may not be as strong, so in that case we can still fake it. Right?
Kismet,
Now we know to in case we fake…;-) not that we would ever do it.
Kegel (sorry if I’ve misspelled the name) exercises are actually pelvic floor exercises, and if you’re doing them correctly you should find the anal sphincter tightening too. Sorry Khiem, but that too can be faked. On the other hand if she’s as in tune with her body and educated about it, she’s probably not sleeping with men she can’t give clues to. Now I’m totally curious about your thinking on the sphincter Khiem….
Bertie and Kismet,
I’m sure if women really wanted to, they could consciously contract those muscles even when not orgasming…
But my point is… if a man wants to know for sure, he can check there… b/c those muscles spasms occur involuntary when a woman comes. If they are indeed natural spasms that stem from orgasming, the frequency from which those muscles contract would also be different than the ones you do if you do them voluntarily.
Okay guys I will kiss and tell there is a secret that I have kept for years the way to know if a woman has come get down on her clit if she moves or begs you to get off her then she came if not then she lied but guys after you cum the head of your cock is sensitive also…so if you plan on doing this to me you wont be able to lie on your stomach for all I have to do is reach with my hand and start squeezing the head and watch you move or give you head until you ask me get off….Oh beware if a woman knows about her inner climax the clit will not work…So you guys are still shit outta luck I know this for one of my ex husbands experimented with sex and this is what I found out from him…David a clit for the day I bet you would have that pussy wore out by know…lol….
Have fun the both of you in NY…hey bring us back some souvenirs why you are there and don’t forget to write…
Luv Ya
Sandra
I believe David would be a nemphomaniac but David just learn longevity….And you also can have an inner and outward feeling…for I know this also by one of my ex husbands for he used to do this when he was with me…I found out by him though that he came and then he came again strange what you find out about guys I better shut up before I give too much away if these bedroom wall could talk I would be in some trouble…Ever tried mirrors they are neat just to watch to have sex by…
If horny lisa is reading this can she break my record I came five times in one day with my last husband…
David , good blog and thanks !
But you know that not every girl can come ?
Sandra’s right- things are very sensitive there, at least for a few minutes. If she’s still taking direct stimulation there after screaming her head off, she probably faked it.
Seriously though, if you’re looking for anything that resembles a relationship, stop lying about this ladies.
And Jamie- women lie there and do no work! I think you’re spending too much time with the wrong women…
A suggestion
There are times that I will not come for I don’t know why it is not because I did not enjoy the sex…Sex should be pleasurable when two people are into each other and want this to happen…Now when two people are thinking about jobs, previous arguments and etc. How do they expect to have sex…
My suggestion is this is let you guys know that we did not cum and when we do the guys don’t take an offense to it….
I agree with what Sandra just said. Guys freak out if a girl doesn’t come, so as a girl, there’s a lot of pressure to have an orgasm. Sometimes it doesn’t happen and the easiest thing to do is fake it. Guys should chill out about this. If you don’t want a girl to lie to you about cumming, then don’t take it so personally when she doesn’t cum!
>>>>>>>If you don’t want a girl to lie to you about cumming, then don’t take it so personally when she doesn’t cum!
I actually prefer they come (or not) and tell the guy that he is the best lover they ever had:-)
my first entry here. david i really like your way you see things. you keep things simple as they really are. my mind is trying to overcomplicate everything so i often get stuck into my head. i am glad that you are sharing so much of your experiences. wish you all the best from austria
I have a solution to that. My exgirlfriend is not able to come just form the normal intercourse so i just made her come first by stimulation her clitoris. Then she was really wet and the sex was much better. by stimulatiing her clitoris it is also possible to come together. i like that.
@ sandra: if every woman would be like you the whole world would be completely different in a positive way.
I have something to tell then how come is it when I am making love to a guy he comes before I do and he wants me to keep going but his hard on has gone down…Or I cum and he is still pumping to come….
Well, I wouldn’t agree that we men have only one way to come. From personal experience I find that the feelings during orgasm can be quite diverse, ranging from “just getting rid of the pressure” to “reunion with the universe”. It can be locally restricted to the genitals or include the whole body. And men can be multi-orgasmic as well. It sometimes happens “accidentially” but there are people out there who teach this stuff as well (e.g. Mantak Chia or Stephen Chang). As men, we often have the tendency to externalize everything. There are men who study the female orgasm for years, but have no idea about their own orgasms.
Women have a great many forms of orgasms. It is a wonderful thing. Please if we had their same capacity and ways of cumming we would never leave the house. LOL
I have found that women have three types of orgasms in general. Clitoral, vaginal (G spot), and Anal. I believe that anal ties into G spot and the PC muscle. That is the muscle that is being worked out when you do Kegals which were mentioned earlier. Men have this muscle too, helps both men and women to work it out.
As a side note, it is easy to figure out how to work this out. Just stop the flow of urine the next time you pee. When you do that, you are flexing your PC muscle. Once you figure it out it is easy to work that muscle all day any time. Makes for better sex for both men and women.
Anyway, knowing when a woman cums can be easy when they are big or squirting or multiple. But, if a woman wants to fake it well, she can mimic it all except a few things. I do not think a woman can fake a squirting orgasm. Also, it would take a rather strong motivation to fake true multiple orgasms. But, the issue really is not having communication that is well enough to be honest about. Also, as was stated earlier, make it okay either way. Not like it feels horrible to have sex or play and not cum. Yes, it is great and the more orgasms the better, but things happen. Pressure is not going to make it easy for anyone to cum. So, best to make it about pleasure in whatever form that takes.
I know one sign that is almost impossible to fake. Involuntary muscle spasms of the inner thighs, for the most part is a sure sign of strong orgasms. Does not happen all the time and does not happen with all women, but I have found that it is a good indication if it does happen.
I guess the good thing is if you are in a position to wonder, it at least means you are having sex. Better than the alternative. Be open and encourage open communication. Make it about the journey or play and pleasure rather than on the conclusion. The rest will work itself out.