Delete Strangers
May 7, 2009 
30 Comments
I picked up my girlfriend’s mom from the airport last night, and then we all sat around and had dinner. Doing that made me reflect a little bit.
I don’t spend much time with my mother, nor do I even know what habits I acquired from her. Sitting there watching my girlfriend and her mother together, though, made me realize from where a lot of my girlfriend’s habits come.
For example, she has a habit of eating lemons. You know, she’ll squeeze some lemon juice over her vegetables, then eat the lemon from the rind. So as we’re having dinner last night I sat there watching the two of them do this, and it was so interesting to see from where that habit comes.
After dinner I decided to take Daphne for a walk to give my girlfriend and her mother a chance to bond. My girlfriend asks me every day about whether Daphne has eaten and about when I fed her. It’s the same thing every day. When I thought about this, I realized that we get so many habits from our parents.
I haven’t spent much time with my parents as an adult at all. I’m kind of wondering now, though, which habits of mine I picked up from my mom and which ones I picked up from my dad.
It’s going to be a very fascinating couple of weeks…
Now on to today’s topic, Spend a night at home, grab a glass of wine, drink a beer – whatever you want to do – and delete numbers from your cell phone contacts list.
Your phone book is full of people that you don’t give a shit about. It’s so cluttered with people that you couldn’t care less about that by the time you are able to find someone in your contacts list, it’s too late to call them.
Maybe you’re driving from New York City to North Carolina, and you remember that you have two friends in D.C. that you want to catch up with. By the time you find their numbers in your phone book, you’re already in North Carolina!
It’s time to really clear your life – starting with your cell phone. If you clear your phone of extraneous numbers, you can start to savor the real friendships that you’ve made. You can get closer to the people that really matter.
Lol — I just deleted five numbers from my cell phone today. I’m in a decluttering mood. I figure that if I let go of things that don’t really serve me, then I’ll make room for things that do. It’s true that less is more – the people and things that really matter then can fill up more space. Or we can just enjoy the spaciousness — especially emotionally. Clearing what is toxic is just huge. What if we throw / donate something every day? Even little things. Then the only things that matter are what’s in our life. And yes, even though both my parents died 15 years ago (five weeks apart), we do still carry a lot of habits from them. Many of those are now toxic lol, so it’s important to face up to those demons — the bogeymen from your earlier cast — and lettem go. Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks, David, for recommending the next step in my life!
I have been doing the exact same thing you talk about, except I do it with my Facebook profile. Whenever the chemistry is not right with a girl, instead of moping around, I have resorted to delete them. After reading today’s blog, I realized I should do the same with my phone book.
“If you focus on what you left behind, you will never be able to see what lies ahead.”
A very cool phrase in “Ratatouille” that comes to mind…
Yeah David its so true…old phone numbers are a total waste of energy. And think about it, how many of these old numbers are still active anyway? Numbers should come with expiry date nowadays. If you dont renew them, they should delete automatically.
okay I am a little depressed and I am going to sit this one out for my friend passed on and I still have him on my mind.
Sandra,
Remember it’s very important to welcome and allow all the feelings that comes up in you with the loss of your friend. First step in healing and being able to remember all that was good about him without falling apart. Hugs to you
Come to think of it, I really do have a lot of numbers I’ll never call in my cell phone…
Hi,
I am new to this forum. I really like your site and your positive and helpful messages David. I am a widow of a man who died young and am now just beginning to get my feet wet in dating. It feels like a jungle out there so it is nice to have found your site. I have never really dated in my life, lol…
As for your blog today, I definitely have some numbers that can go but I also have 3 phone numbers of people who have passed away over the past year or so (one also young) and I don’t have the heart to delete them from my phone. Every time I scroll past their names, I feel a twinge of sadness but then try to think of a nice memory of them…
a great feng shui principle too . . . & get rid of the old or broken to make room for the new & better people/ things into your life – moving a step up. Or as you said, to more fully enjoy the current things/people one loves the most without “clutter” surrounding the air.
When my brother got divorced, he went through his contact list and had lunch or dinner with everyone that he knew when he was part of a couple. He did not ask them to pick sides but asked each person or couple point-blank what they had in common with him and where they were going in the future, friendship-wise. He said that he could not have predicted the response that he got from each encounter, and was surprised by many. His remaining friendships are better than ever and those who professed the depth of their friendships previously turned out to be the most fleeting.
While this is not my style and our family thought that it was pretty balls-y of him, we had to laugh and concede that we have to do whatever we think is necessary for our own lives and no one else’s.
I keep my friends, girls, cell phone and myspace clutter free regularly. I try to run an efficient, smooth, meaningful life, and clutter just holds me back. =)
Tee,
Wonderful to hear you have reached the state where you are ready to date again. I too lost my husband 7 months ago, I am just not emotionally ready for dating , but regardless this is a fun site with some great messages. My 14 years old son wanted to keep his dads number. Funny though, so many thing have i been able to let go of, but just changing his name on my phone or erasing his message i have not been able to do.
Hugs Marina
K
Actually, liked the way your brother did it, could have seen myself do something similar if i was in his situation. He’s starting fresh after his divorce.
I am almost 28 and my friend from college who was a year younger than me died in August 2007 in a car accident. The previous October we hung out at our college homecoming. I still have his phone number in my contacts list. Not gonna delete it.
Deleting Strangers
I went as far as to changing my email password and changing over to another email address and throwing away all the pics I have of them. It is like the song goes you are just another pic to burn. Go on with life holding onto something that is no longer there will only cause confusion in the long run. That is dead and gone go on with life they are no longer apart of it. Why does someone want to live that horror story for the rest of their lives. Where are these people? They sure not giving you a second thought. So that is why I say I refuse to live a past that I am no longer apart of who and where are these guys now. They sure are not with me.
Sandra,
I dont mind having my old boyfriend around, recently found my first on Facebook. He was a beautiful experience and its great to see his familie. Its easy Sandra besides some oops i have only had him and my husband.
I have to delete contacts on my phone regularly… but I keep on reaching the limit LOL
Just a thought… if you have such great relationships anyway, why should those extra numbers matter? Especially if you have a phone where you can simply type their names and immediately get to them.
i deleted u from my phone including your f’in email…..god that felt good go f yourself david phony wygant
bobo- you seem like a very frustrated little boy, when is the last time you got some pussy?
you also sound like a pua that don’t have a fu..in life LOL
Bobo
I looked through my phone and did not see any bobos.
So if you want to to tell me to fuck myself be a real man and tell me either to my face or let me see who Bobo really is.
Not satisfied that you are such a weak person who cant stand up and tell me to fuck myself like a man.
Bobo –
Why so angry? You sound like you are pretty frustrated with something in your own life…
And I’m just wondering … Did David sneak into your house in the middle of the night and put himself in your phone?! Hmmm…
That is what I am talking about David!
This bobo guy sound like a very frustrated man behind the computer getting no action or if he does get some is probably using his pua tricks.
Bobo Dude – You sound like a woman who got turned down by a guy she wanted…
Did you have a little crush on David and get rebuffed?
Otherwise I can’t imagine what part of this blog could cause this kind of losing your mind reaction.
yourshowe
I have one word to say OUCH!!!! But another go get him you tiger. Hey does he need a lesson David has helped me out a lot since I have been on this blog. Can’t hang with the big dogs get off the porch.
Dave
It sounds like Bobo is on the rag I wonder if he is a woman in a man’s body. Go get em tiger….
Brian
Maybe Bobo wants to get laid by a man since he is acting like a woman on the rag.
Bobo
You need a lesson on manners did your mom teach you any better all I can say your momma sucks pussy dude….If you want to leave then just leave quietly don’t leave a trail of bullshit on my computer to read…..you know dude your momma
Ha – Don’t have to worry about that – life already did that for me Memorial day weekend when I got a little (a lot) drunk at an afterparty and walked home 3 miles down Woodward (I live 2 blocks from Detroit 8 mile) to my house barefoot and blacked out.
Wouldn’t ya know it – I lost me phone… Casualties of war I guess. Never lost my phone though.
Geese. That’s such a fun name to have. I’d keep it in my phone just to keep enjoying the thought of knowing someone who flies high and shits on the rest of the world.
Let me brag about getting drunk and dragging myself home to face a hangover…. oh wait! I grew up about ten years ago.
Sorry, I’m still laughing about Geese. If it’s your “pua” name then bravo! It’s much better than Magic or Style.
LOL relax dude. It’s just a blog. AMOGing is for the field.
Unless you’re trying to sarge other bloggers. lol
anyways have fun.
Ps don’t try so hard – your comment looks like you took about 20 minutes to think about what to say. Calm down a little and you’ll be just fine.