What is it about men and being very quiet about their personal lives? Men will be dating somebody, and when they’re out with their friends they’ll say something stupid like, “Yeah, I got to get home to the ‘ol ball and chain.” They always make it look like they don’t care.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about men, however, it is that when they finally find that one woman with whom they want to be, they want to declare their love to the world.
It’s like they just want to tell everyone. They want to tell anyone who will listen.
They want to get up on a podium and announce, “I met this great girl and I’m in love!”
It’s almost like they’ve never felt that way before. I don’t understand it, but virtually all men seem to act this way.
So I think that a lot of men never fully feel complete until they figure everything out in their life. They want to figure out their whole life. They figure out their work. They figure out their place in the world.
A lot of guys don’t want to fall in love. 23 year old guys will say things like, “I really want to be with this person, but I’ve got to figure my career out first.”
As a man, I think you need to go through a lot of life lessons and understand yourself. I’m not saying that women don’t also need to do this, and I’m not excluding women from this discussion. Men, however, just seem like they need to figure everything out before they put the pieces into place.
The thing is, though, that sometimes in life those “pieces” might come into your life before you have figured everything out. When that happens, you still need to embrace them.
It seems like when men finally do find their true love, they love to declare it. It’s like they want their friends to say, “Wow!” They want the confirmation of hearing, “Really, Dude, that’s so great!”
When a lot of guys are in the beginning stages of learning how to meet women, they tend to have a lot of the same conversations. When they sleep with a woman, they’re going to tell their friends “Man, I slept with this hot girl last night!” It’s all about confirmation.
Men are always about confirmation. They’ve always been about confirmation.
Guys will say things like, “Look at that hot babe over there. She really likes me!” That guy says that because he wants his friends to agree that the girl really likes him.
So men are always looking for confirmation when it comes to women, and that doesn’t change when men find love. When a man finds that woman he know he wants to be with for the long haul, he will make a declaration of love . . . to everyone he can find.
Think about it. Men like to blow their friends away (regardless of the what it is). Men first like to impress their friends, and then they want to blow them away.
It’s funny, too, in how many different places now a days you can make such declarations of love. You can go on Facebook and declare your love to someone. I’ve seen almost all my friends do that.
A friend of mine from college declared his love for someone on Facebook. This is a guy who probably slept with half of the women at that University when we were there, and I’ve never seen him declare his love. When I spoke to him recently, though, he declared his love for her to me. I thought he was crazy.
I’ve seen a lot of my friends declare the love, but I’m just not as public about declaring mine. That’s just not me. It’s not my personality. Why should I declare love? I have a relationship that’s amazing, and nobody needs to know. The reason I’ve probably never declared love, though, is because I never truly felt in love until now.
Now, am I going to declare my love to all of you in the blog today? Nah . . . I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to declare my love for the woman I love either. I know how I feel. I will, of course, declare that love to all my friends though!
Men are very funny and very stubborn, but when a men truly falls in love he’ll declare it and shout it from the top of the Empire State Building. So if any of you guys have ever felt this way, I’d like to hear it.
For those of you who think this blog is too sappy, I don’t really care because sometimes nothing feels better than a declaration of love. If you’ve not declared your love for somebody — including yourself — recently, it’s time you started because real love for yourself and for someone else doesn’t happen often. You should be declaring your love every single day.
i know this has nothing to do with this blog but can anybody tell me what is the best way to open up a girl who is sitting in front of you in a classroom(college). I mean all i can see is her back so i don’t really have any observation about her to start a conversation….if i say “Hi”, she probably turn around to look at me and say Hi back to me, then what? that is kinda awkward isn’t it?
What is it about men and being very quiet about their personal lives?
For me it is because for FAR TOO LONG I felt embarrassed about my personal life. Ask me about my professional life and I can talk to you about it for hours. Ask me about my personal life and I run and hide. Nothing to see here.
My guess is that guys (and girls) don’t like to expose flaws. If you are not confident, like the guys who you describe in the blog, then you are unsure if you are exposing a flaw, so you keep your mouth shut.
Mike – Ask to borrow a pencil. Take it from there. Shouldn’t be too hard. Then you could make a joke about your professor.
Oh man are so about confirmation, so true what you said today, i see that all the time when i am hanging out with my guy friends!
So true cant count the Times my husband spoke about mé to all his friends. It was not I need validation kind of thing, it was more like thats my Girl and wanted to share that with the world. Hé just knew hé had found the one and embraced it 100%. It was such an awesome feeling to have someone embrace and accept every part of your being unconditionally.
aMOIVE-
how did you get over your flaws or your personal life?
great blog today, i needed this confirmation blog to confirm me to stop seeking validation from some people!!!!
Marina- thanks for sharing, you must be feeling really happy to find the one and only!
hey clint how you doing buddy?
I am good howe, just browsing the blog, and taking notes:)
how about you?
Ya same here taking some notes as always!
I had long day of work, so now just now relaxing.
hey are you part of the memeber site?
I understand work and life gets hectic sometimes. I am not part of the forum yet, thinking about joining soon though. How about you…..
I recently joined, so much good stuff on there as well, ya check it out when you get a chance, i think you will really like it.
I got to be more active though, lately been working a lot so couldn’t be as active as i would like to.
I hear you buddy similar situation here, and i will def. look into the forum thing. Thanks!
Hey I declare my love for this blog today:)
only today Jeffrey….so sad:)
I meant to say everyday, happy now CJ lol
I have a friend who just declared his love for a woman he has been dating for 2 months. This article describes him perfectly. I’m happy for the guy, now if only I can find myself a great woman
We want to scream from rooftops because men aren’t used to dealing with strong emotions. We’re too tough to cry, be sad, hurt, or afraid. When we get excited about something, we go nuts! (Tom Cruise on Oprah, anyone?)
Women are, more or less, comfortable with strong emotions. They flutter and float around when they’re in love.
If a guy has found someone that he loves and is THAT excited about, then that’s wonderful for him.
I also have to add that the pic for this blog makes me wanna puke. Literally. Not totally sure why, but it does.
Love lost, Love hurts, Love again
David,
I was wondering if I can turn this girl who is a friend of mine into my girlfriend. Is it something that is possible? We get along well, and have pretty good chemistry and we have been hanging out for a few months. I am trying to be in the moment as much as possible, but I think I need to try escalate attraction very soon. what is the best way to do this?
If you have time, I would like to hear your comments or, at the very least, your encouragement! thanks!
Mike–do you HAVE to sit behind her…is it assigned seating? Try and sit next to her..it will make the openers like amovie suggested even easier and more natural
Mike, try this. At the end of class, pretend to drop your pen(or whatever) so that your target picks it up and hands it to you. As she gives it to you say- Hey where did you get that? Tease her by accusing her of attempting to steal
it. Tell her that it has been in your family for generations etc. Since you
know you are going to see her again be patient and do not show early interest.
Do this for a few more days and then say OK I’m tired of busting you lets go
for a soda. Good Luck!
I had a boyfriend that was so in love that every time we were in a store, when he was paying, he asked the cashiers things like “Isn’t she beautiful?” “Can you believe she is with me?” OMG he got me so embarrassed so many times!!! But it was nice je, je
Mike,
Sit next to her… or understand that you can observe anything. You can do the pencil suggestion like everyone said… or you can also tap on her shoulders and joke with her “man… every day I see you from behind… I don’t even know what your face looks like?!?? What’s your name?”
It’s really about using whatever you want to use to engage her…. the key point is to say it with conviction.
Wygant Fan,
Learn to turn her on. Have you even gone on a date with her yet (like one on one)?