I got an interesting e-mail from a client of mine the other day.

She wrote:

I went out with this guy and he was really kind of boring so I got him to drink more.  But even after the third date he was still boring.

Think about what that statement says.

You needed to ply him with alcohol so a personality might come out.

That’s crazy if you think about it.

If you’re boring when you’re sober, you’re a boring person.  If you need alcohol to loosen you up, to allow your personality ‘to come out’, then you live a very insecure, fearful life.

And I know right now you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Well, with a few drinks I’m a much looser person.

But that thinking is all wrong. How about actually working on your confidence. How about actually embracing who you are.

How about looking in the mirror and realizing that you’re actually a great person.

Stop giving your power away to total strangers.

Think about it: when you’re with close friends, it’s not necessary that you get drunk all the time. You don’t need shots of Jagermeister to be comfortable around your BFFs.

But yet when people are with the opposite sex—whether it’s a date or whether it’s first trying to meet somebody—they feel the need to get some alcohol in them to loosen up a little bit.

I never do that; I don’t believe in it.

I already know that I am a spectacular person, so I don’t need to drink in order to tap into that great feeling. I don’t need a shot of Jack to say what I feel.

I live my life saying exactly what I want, and that’s the way to do it.

Who cares what the other person thinks as long as you’re being authentic and real.

Sure, alcohol might loosen you up and help you attract somebody in a quick instant.

But think about how many times you got a phone number when you were buzzed, called the person the next day and they never called you back.

Happens all the times to the regular bar goer.

So how about just being yourself. How about just not caring what people think. How about just being open and not worrying about trying to impress somebody.

That’s how I live my life, and it’s time you learn that too.