How many times when dating have you had someone flake on you? How many times do you think to yourself, “God this woman (or this man) just keeps flaking on me. Why do I keep giving them a third, fourth and fifth chance?”

The reason why you do is because you like to be a doormat. You continue to date these people because you enjoy being a doormat, and your self-esteem is so low that you’re willing to let someone walk all over you.

I’m sorry to be so crude and to just lay it on you so bluntly. It is really important, though, that you understand this dynamic and what the boundary lines should be.

Let’s say you’ve just started dating someone and they call you at 4:00 pm and say, “I’m being held up at work. I can’t hang out tonight like we planned.” That is okay. You can give them a one-time pass.

They are allowed to use work (or whatever else) as an excuse for flaking one time. If they come back a week later when you’re excited to see them saying that their boss is holding them up or they need to go to an appointment, then that is the second time. You cannot give them another pass.

If you keep giving them a pass, then they are going to look at you as a doormat. What I always say about people who are flakers, is that they are someone who doesn’t respect the time of someone who has committed time to them.

If somebody has rearranged their schedule planning to spend an evening getting to know you and is excited to see you, you show them absolutely zero respect by flaking on them. If you are someone who allows people to flake on you over and over again, though, you are also showing yourself zero respect.

Do not allow somebody to flake on you more than one time. You give someone a one-time pass, and that’s it!

Not only that, but if you end up in a relationship with someone you’ve allowed to flake on you multiple times, then you are going to likely have another problem. If someone flakes on you over and over but yet keeps telling you they want to see you, a year or two down the road you may find that quality time with you may not be anywhere near the number one priority in their life.

They may end up flaking on you a lot. They may always put work or something else first. Flaking behavior is a definite peek into someone’s personality.

If you are a person doing the flaking, then it’s time to get honest with yourself. If you were really excited about the person on whom you are repeatedly flaking and they were a person you truly wanted to get to know, then you would be changing your routine to make that happen.

There is nothing more exciting than getting to know someone new. If the other stuff you’re doing every day — work, appointments, watching the ballgame — is causing you to flake on someone, then clearly that other person is not intriguing you very much.

If that is the case, then stop stringing them along. Be a man (or a woman), let them go and don‘t play with their head anymore.

If you are sick and tired of being a dating doormat? Let me show you how to stop this behavior in your dating life for good! CLICK HERE to read more about how.