I was at a chiropractor’s office getting adjusted.

We were talking about Halloween, text messaging, and other things. Then all of a sudden the subject of emoticons came up.

Janelle, who works there, a pretty awesome woman, says “I love emoticons.”

I said “I’m sure you do.”

Another girl sitting there said, “me too, I love emoticons.” I said “every woman I’ve ever met is an emoticon expert.” These days I write something via text message and I’ll get back an emoticon.

I won’t even get back a word. I’ll get back a thumbs up, or a dancing bear, or a few hearts and kisses. I’ve got to interpret through emoticon language what she actually means.

Women love emoticons. They were designed for women. They’re fun, they’re cute, they’re playful. It’s like being a little girl all over again, being able to use stickers on things.

Sometimes my little daughter looks at my phone and says “dad, can I send a text to somebody. I want to use the stickers.”

See to her, in her world, she looks at the emoticons as stickers. She enjoys putting them in text messages, and it’s fun.  emoticon

I can see what an emoticon does to women. It brings out the little girl in them. They can put fire when they feel heat, they put a heart when they feel love. They don’t need to use words at all anymore, they can just emoticon a guy.

How do I feel about a man using emoticons?

Honestly, I don’t think a straight man should use emoticons.

I mean, I like the smiley face, but I like the cryptic smiley face with the color and the little bracket around it. To me that’s a prehistoric emoticon. I don’t mind that, because I’m a man, and I’ll use that.

But to send five or six smiley face emoticons, feels like I’m dancing through a field of flowers, skipping along, singing the soundtrack to Annie, The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow, as I’m emoticoning the girl I’m flirting with.

I believe that straight men should use words and maybe old fashioned exclamation points and colon / bracket smiles.

It’s just my belief.

You may be an emoticon person. You may like sending little stickers via text messages to people. But me, nah, I’m going to stick with my words. I’m going to stick with getting on the phone. I’m going to stick with things that most people don’t do anymore, because I like to beat to my own drum.