Let’s talk about something that I think is really important, and one of the most interesting topics in the world. This is something that everybody needs to listen to. Get the shit out of your ears and listen!
It’s funny how many guys will go around and spend their entire day talking to women that they’re not attracted to. They’ll talk to the 5s, 6s, and 7s – you all know how much I hate the number system, it’s retarded. In my book, it’s either a 1 or a 2: 1, you’re attracted to her, and 2, you’re not. There’s my system.
So you can walk around all day long talking to these women that you’re not attracted to. You can flirt, you can challenge them; you can do anything you want with them. And at the end of the day you say to yourself, well, it doesn’t count, because I wasn’t attracted to her.
In reality, let’s go inside the women’s mindset. The woman that you’re talking to isn’t thinking, all right, so this dude is talking to me because I’m a 6. This woman that you’re talking to thinks that she’s hot!
Think about the analogy here. If a woman has ever set you up with her friends, she’ll always tell you how hot her friends are. So you show up at this party she invites you to and you’re thinking, okay, where are all of her hot friends? But she’s been introducing you to people all night long.
Women don’t go around rating themselves – they’re not like guys. They aren’t these visual retards that walk around all day long grading. Women don’t grade guys on a number scale.
Another great social experiment I did one time at a seminar involved putting masks on ten women. I got a guy who was totally shy and uncomfortable talking to women to come up and talk to all of them.
He had no problem with it, because they had masks on. He flirted with them and he was funny and charming. But the minute that the woman that he liked best took off her mask and he saw she was hot, he became a babbling idiot. He spoke to her completely differently.
So today in the coffee shop, you basically did the same thing. You opened these two women beautifully about the iPod. But then you disqualified yourself immediately. When you saw she was cute, you made some comment like, “Well this just shows what a geek I am. I like to read The Economist on the iPod!”
You didn’t say that once yesterday at all, to any of the women you weren’t attracted to. Yesterday you felt cool and good about yourself. But today, because the woman you were talking to was pretty, you had to tell her you were a geek. For some reason or another, you felt like you had to talk to her differently.
But she responded really well when you opened her up. She responded really well to you and what you were saying. You opened her with authority. But the second that she responded, you got really nervous.
You thought to yourself, well, she’s pretty, she looks like a porcelain doll, and I need to talk to her differently.
But you don’t need to talk to them differently. These women are the exact same, and they need the exact same things.
You also played it safe with her. Yesterday you were listening, engaging and challenging people. The minute you saw this pretty girl, you stopped challenging.
Talk to all women in the exact same way!
By the way, if you want to learn the best ways to make your approaches and early connections with women be a complete SUCCESS, and if you want to learn the best ways to approach women with complete confidence (but without using any “lines” or routines), then you need to check out my “20 Ways To Meet Hotter Women” program.
Great one David,
This biggest thing I have found though, is your breathing. If you can control and be aware of that, any kind of situation that your mind perceive as high stress can be more easily handled.
Speaking of experiments a friend forwarded me this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFGVzt7c5bY
Don’t forget boys it’s how you make us feel and laugh. Yes, there are girls out there who might be into you for the “wrong” reasons but even those will change if you make them feel you. As a girl it’s only how you make me feel that is important to me.
To our Economist geek….what about these geeks in the video.
Everyone have a fun Sunday.
Every person I date (and would date) is a ten in my books because that is how they make me feel.
Well said mike.
9 1/2 to whoever let my first post through, see how easy we girls feel pleased
Interesting point about women not rating guys… I’ve sometimes wondered if girls ever scrutinized guys like that.
Taras,
What I have found is that we more classify you boys in how we feel about you.
We would have said to each other:
BOYFRIEND material someone there is not just strong emotional but also a physical connection/attraction.
FRIEND (could maybe be a boyfriend one day) At this point only an emotional connection, but I have seen that change with times sometimes.
HARMLESS, yes this is the dreaded he is so cute one…I know you boys appreciate when we use that word. (boys that would never be boy friends, but that we love dearly and are very comfortable around, types would be gay or “brother” types) Incredible safe feeling around them, almost the most liberating emotional bond there is with the opposite sex.
EYE-CANDY I know I missed out on the physical only attraction, but that have never been my thing.
CREAP, self explanatory borderline stalker.
I know this is to generalize but with my friends, this is how we would “categorize “you and I am not really the type to be doing this but it has happen on occasions.
Yes, women do not rate. We probably think most all of our closest friends are hot because they are ‘good people’. If we do any sort of rating, it’s more on a personality scale than a looks scale.
hahah women do not rate… more disinfo from women. how old are the women on this blog?
yeah its true, if im really attracted to a gal, im talking to her differently making fool of myself. And thats funny coz sometimes i dont even like that women, i just get to know her and im start to like her, and then start to talking to her weird. And guess what happened ? She is ignoring me.
I dont know why but its weird and unfortunately true.
You guys sound some dumb if a I overheard a guy say hey I just met a 10…I would think he just seen a girl who wore a dress size of ten. Us women do not base men on figures or we can go around and say did you see that guy with a 10 inch dick…or that one that walks around with his pinky finger around his dick and I say if it is that long I would not brag and then laugh…When we women see a guy we mostly say to our friends hey did you see that hunkmiester or damn he is one damn handsome man….I was told this by one of my female friends she was at work and this guy that came into the restraunt looked fine he was fire then when I walked in I had to swim through their drowl….My friend discribed the way this guy look down to his penis size…If that guy even winked he would have had a lay that night…See guys when you scale us women you better say I am the highest number there is or your just shit outta luck…I agree with David on this blog…The number system went out in the stone ages….
More did you see that guy in a tight pair of jeans and the head of his dick sticking out he must be a size 10…Or hung like a horse….lol
Third leg activated do any of you guys walk stiff legged…This is it don’t want to become blog hog top this one and get off that damn number scale or just hang out with the fools for I will laugh til the sunset sets and rises and call you a kid…That is still green behind the ears…
Thanks, David, for demonstrating yet another way in which women are more evolved than men.
Through recent experience, I have found that once you get past the “SHE’S SO FRKN HOT” monkey chatter, you can actually create a connection that will set you miles apart from other men (boys?) she’s met before. I guess the mask experiment is sufficient proof.
maxx–it seems like you are thinking too much and in your head instead of being in the moment and just being and listening to the woman. As David said, talk to those women you are attracted to as you would any other and you’ll have better results!
Quenn of Relationships and Marina–so true about how we qualify men by their personality and how they make us feel. Maybe we should be using a grading system to grade the quality of a man. Like “that guy was an A”!
One of the funniest things about women as we age is all of the quirks that we are no longer afraid to voice in HOW we find one guy more attractive than another. I have several friends who are just little horn-doggies for guys who shave their heads – no idea why and they don’t know why either. But it is certainly amusing in a crowd of people. Me, it’s about how he acts or talks and the hair or lack thereof is merely incidental. Does he give eye contact? If you are easy-going and not into yourself (at least not to a fault), then I am paying attention. If you don’t have to be the center of attention and you are happy to let (or even help) others go there, even better. If you can do your part with a little give-and-take verbally and even make sport without being cruel or embarrassing to your posse, you’re making points. Guys who sell out their buds publicly are a poor risk for any woman and we will pass on you!
It’s funny that we are talking about the rating scale here.
I’ve been going out a lot again ever since my g/f and I broke up. Everywhere I go, I have yet to use the number rating scale.
Now I just talk about if I found them attractive or not… and that includes physical and emotional attractiveness.
Sadly to say, I haven’t found someone who truly stimulated me in more than one ways lately.
lots of great advice here on how us guys should act!