The Secret to Creating Online Passion
July 22, 2007 
3 Comments
You know, recently I was working with a client who is really an interesting man. He’s somebody who has a lot of life and a lot of passion when you meet him in person . . . but has been miserably unsuccessful online.
So I took a look at his pictures online, and I realized that in all his pictures it looked like the photographer was torturing him and making him be there. It was almost like the photographer was making him take pictures because his parents wanted the school boy picture. And when I read through his profile, I realized that his profile didn’t really make me feel anything.
In order to really succeed in online dating, you need to write a very passionate profile about who you are, because women are really intrigued by finding out what you’re all about. They don’t want to hear you boast about your great job, they want to hear a story about why that job is so fantastic. They don’t want to hear that you went to Italy and China, they want to know something that happened to you when you went to Italy and China that changed you. They want to read those words and they want to get excited about you.
But how do you get them to even look at you if your picture is not right? You need to put pictures up of yourself that show you being passionate about who you are and what you do. Every picture you put online should be a picture of you doing something that you’re absolutely thrilled about doing.
Don’t just stand there and have a snapshot taken of you. Have someone take a picture of you after you’ve hiked to the top of a mountain. Have someone take a picture of you when you’re at your friend’s pool party hanging out with seven of your best friends. Have someone take a picture of you when you’re out doing something you love. Let’s say you’re an avid reader, so maybe you have a picture at a Barnes and Noble. Maybe you love to cook. Have someone take a picture of you at a dinner party cooking. These pictures are glimpses into your life.
If a woman sees you doing things about which you’re passionate, she’s going to envision herself with you doing those things. These pictures will elicit that kind of emotional response from her. Then by sharing stories about what you do in your profile, when she reads those stories she will picture herself next to you.
This is what makes a very passionate encounter with somebody online. I’m not talking about having sex or getting laid, I’m talking about creating an excitement so they desire and they anticipate you contacting them after they’ve contacted you.
It’s roll reversal, guys. Most men give their power away to women. When they ask a woman out, they don’t expect her to say yes. When you create a story that’s so powerful and so passionate, the woman is going to be so excited about going out with you that you’re standing on equal ground . . . and then you actually have the power.
So the next time you are looking to double your dating success on Match.com (Match.com -Find Someone Now - Free For 72 Hours) or Yahoo.com or J Date, think about using all the above techniques and you will find your inbox full of other things besides the usual junk mail and Viagra spam.
One suggestion to add to your “Where you should take a picture at” is when you go to an amusement park and having the time of your life! Disneyland is a good place to get a good picture, because everybody is happy at Disneyland!
Completely different subject, but I couldn’t help myself here.
One suggestion for first date (of course second and third dates apply too, or even married dates apply) tips is to do something that is thought to be just for kids. Like roller skating, miniature golfing, an arcade, an amusement park (like Disneyland!)
That just shows you my weaknesses (Disney, Mickey Mouse and kid stuff)! I’m a kid at heart and one of my most memorable first dates is when I went roller skating with a 6’3″ man. It makes it easier to just be yourself when you are doing something fun that both people like to do.
Kelly, do I see you possibly coming out of that shell you told me about?;) I do believe so and love it!
I agree with the date suggestions. Roller blading is one of my favorite things to do. Kinda sucks here in Texas, but like Venice Beach in California, we used to live there on rollerblades. FUN;)) Bowling is fun too. You can kinda check things out from a different view;)
You’re right. when you do something you both like, it is double the fun. I too canbe a kid at heart at times. i think that is what keeps us young. Taking life too serious and sweating the small stuff is just fruitless. If it is of importance, it has my complete and undivided attention, but if not—;) Have a good weekend–whats left. You were going to the pool today right?;)
I planned on going to the pool all weekend, but that ooh sooo nice looking man (without a shirt I must add) has not been there since Thursday night. When I see him again, I will push myself out the door and buy a water from the machine claiming I’m out of bottled water at the house, because if you have ever been to Phoenix, you would know the tap water here is very nasty (tastes like dirt and chlorine)! Yuck! Anyway, I hope you too have a good weekend, or whatever is left of it.