I remember our conference call for the membership site with Lawrence. He’s the one who said he wants to use touch to mean something.

And that’s what body language is about. We want to use it to mean something… to create an emotion… and it’s based on us projecting out what we want to communicate first, both verbally and physically.

By being aware of our own body language more than the woman’s, I think we become more true to ourselves… and in turn, women will just respond in kind.

Instead of reading too much in her body language, we just have to be aware of how she responds instead of trying to guess if she’s trying to say something with her body.

I talked to Mary again this weekend and although I don’t think I screwed up as bad as I did with that other girl from a few years ago(mentioned above), I know I need to work on talking slower. And also smiling a bit more. I think I smiled okay this time, but worry I might still have had a little nervous energy going on again. The one moment I think I began to lose her interest was when her eyes began to drift off while I was trying to think of the names of some South American countries some people I know visited a while back.

She traveled to Brazil last Summer, which started me rambling and trying to remember the names of a few of those countries they went to. We talked for I don’t know how long. But that was the only part of the convo where I thought she was losing interest. I then said, “Well, I’d better take off. See ya later. Hope you have a great Spring Break!” I’d run out of things to say after maybe 6-7 minutes(my best guesstimate)and remembered that to avoid that awkward conversation dead space, I’d better leave then. I also worked on walking slower this weekend.

By all means you should truly listen to her and develop the skill of listening well(something I absolutely suck at to be honest), in order to connect with her. But I’ll tell you about something that happened to me to illustrate the flip side.

A few years ago, I was at a party, and stumbling, bumbling, f#ck#p idiot that I was(and maybe still am)was trying to talk to this one girl. I was asking her a few ?s about a few pics she had posted on her MySpace page. A page she switched to Private mode within a few hours, understandably. I was trying real hard not to see her obvious signs of annoyance. I had done nothing for months but prove that I was an Omega male instead of the Alpha I wanted to be. In every possible way. A comedy of errors that should be, or is stock material for every teen comedy where the awkward nerd or dork tries to win the approval and love of a high status beautiful girl. And that night, in addition to nervously approaching like a wounded animal, I had forgotten to clean my face and pop some very puss filled zits hours earlier as i should have. So I was about as unattractive as a textbook dork has ever been and tried to stutter & stammer my way through a convo she wanted nothing to do with.

So after about 2 sentences from me, she turned in her chair to the left, away from me and crossed her arms and looked away to the left, with an annoyed look on her face as well. So that is a textbook example of body language for when a person truly does NOT want to talk to you. Now wouldn’t you do the very same thing if you had been her? Of course! I would have too looking back on it. I don’t blame her one iota!

You really have to be fully aware in talking to people. Of both what is being said verbally as well as nonverbally. That’s never been easy for me. It’s ridiculously easy for people with social skills, but has not been for me. Normal people who can recognize the obvious can cruise through this stuff and talk for hours nonstop like David. I WISH I had “diarrhea of the mouth” as David puts it. I just wish I had it all together.

This reminds me of that first Zorro movie with Antonio Banderas, CZJ and Anthony Hopkins. When old Zorro(Hopkins) tries to teach Banderas both swordmanship and the social graces, he realizes just how difficult it’s going to be and says “This is going to take a lot of work.” And young Murietta echoes that in a later scene.
“This…is going to take a lot of work.”

I agree with Just Adjust It, manipulation and control is just manipulation and control. Let’s call it for what it is and not sugarcoat it with other words. To term the words “manipulation and control” for women who like to lead is a generalization/stereotype. That may have been the case for one person, but not all persons.

I have yet to meet a woman who does not expect (at least subconsciously) a man to lead, whether in the relationship, conversation or body language. Most of the women I met expect the man to be the leader, whether they actually said it or not.

Hunter: Regarding your statement:
“Woman can be broken out of her state, but, why increase our chances of getting snapped at/rejection?”

For those that know David’s philosophy (or what I like to call school of thought), it’s not about the end result, which is not becoming too outcome dependent. If I’m too concerned with the chances of myself being rejected, then I’m not really paying attention to her. I’m too focused on myself and not her. The key is to bless the other person in your conversation by giving them your full attention and taking genuine interest in that person. That person will appreciate it.

Then watch a show like Amazing Race and then you see leadership qualities.

A lot of women who fall into manipulating don’t think they are manipulators. They just get confused about what it takes to be a good leader. Same goes for men.

Mike