Did you ever wake up all “out of sorts?” I did this morning.

What is up with hotel beds? Can they be any more torturous?

I mean, you look forward to vacations more than anything, but yet when you come back you feel as stiff as the concrete in New York City. Do you think the people who work in hotels ever actually sleep in them?

So after I returned from New York, I had to go to the chiropractor for some snap, crackle and pop . . . which also makes no sense to me. If my body was out of place before I went there, how does it know when it’s in place? You guys can help me figure that out.

Now onto today’s topic.

So many of you have trouble remembering names, so when you start talking to someone you spend the whole time trying to remember their name instead of actually listening to what the person is saying.

The solution to this ongoing difficulty remembering names is often to refer to almost everyone as either “Yo” or “Hey Man.” The way this works is that when you see someone you know, but can’t remember their name, you can just refer to them as “Yo” or Hey Man.”

For instance, you see one of these people in a coffee shop. Even though you couldn’t remember that person’s name if your life depended on it, you can walk right up to them and say “Hey man! How have you been?”

Maybe you’re just walking down the street and you see someone you know but whose name is totally unknown to you. You can call out to them by saying “Yo!” Inevitably, that person (and probably five or six other people in their vicinity) will turn around.

Almost everyone responds to “Yo!” or “Hey Man!” You probably do too. So virtually everyone is “Yo” or “Hey Man.” So when you see another “Yo” or “Hey Man” the conversation will go something like this:

David: “Yo, what’s up?”
Yo: “Hey Man, good to see you!”

It’s true. Think about it. Whenever someone yells “Yo,” you turn around every time.

It’s just like in a relationship how all women are “Baby” or “Honey.” So you can go anywhere and call out “Honey!” and every woman will turn around.

So technically you can be at a party and have everyone introduce each other without ever knowing anyone’s name. “Hey Man, this is Honey.” Then she can say “Yo, it’s nice to meet you!”

Of course, this whole thing doesn’t really translate well to a woman to woman interaction. I mean, what are the women’s equivalents of “Yo” and “Hey Man?” “Hey Sweetie?” “Hey Woman?” Really, unless one of the women is wearing a wifebeater with beer and mustard stains on it, I don’t think calling out “Hey Woman!” is going to really work very well.

So as you can see, although “Yo” and “Hey Man” seem to solve the whole name remembering problem, there are still some complications. How do you tell the 400 “Yo’s” and the 300 “Hey Man’s” apart in your BlackBerry directory? I guess you could try to write something distinguishing about them in the “company” line of their contact page, but what do you do when one of them calls?

You must be VERY good at voice recognition to be able to know which “Hey Man” is calling. At least you know you can answer the phone “Hey Man, How are ya?” (at least until you figure out which one is on the phone).

Actually some of my best friends are named “Hey Man,” and I have a lot of “Yo’s” in my life. The great thing is that I have only one “Baby” . . . unless there’s some I don’t know about.