Dear David WygantToday’s Dear David comes from Guy in NYC, and I’m pleased to say it’s positive news for him. I’ll let him give you the full story, but you’ll see from his story that making small changes in your life can make a big difference.

He put in the work, and now after being a self-confessed shy-guy he’s finally on the road to a first date!

Here’s his story…

“Dear David,

I just wanted to write you a quick email to say thanks for the advice you give to guys who are shy with women, or scared to approach them. I know for some readers this is basic stuff, but when you’re terrified of making a fool of yourself with women, it’s not a nice way to live.

Anyway, I’ve been listening to The Fearless Code, and taking all your advice about becoming confident, and not giving away my power to women. And this week something amazing happened to me. Have I met the girl of my dreams? Probably not, but for me this is real progress.

I go into Starbucks at least 3 times a week, and about a month ago this girl started working there I’m attracted to. She’s quite chatty and we’ve always shared a joke when I’m in there, but nothing too serious. Anyway, yesterday she was saying she felt bad about herself because she didn’t have her false eyelashes in, and she didn’t have any make up on.

A year ago I’d have said something stupid and weak like, “Oh but you’re beautiful without all that.”

I’d have been friend-zoned instantly and thought of as “that sweet guy.”

Instead, I said this, “I’ll tell you what. Come into work tomorrow with your eyelashes in, and I’ll tell you if you look better with or without them.”

I spoke with confidence and control. The next day she came straight up to me when I walked in and said, “Well, you like me with or without them?”

My answer?

“To be honest, they suit you, but you actually look pretty good without them too. Let’s meet up for a drink and I’ll let you know how you look without your uniform on too!”

At that point I panicked, but she said it was a deal and we swapped numbers. It might not lead to anything but it feels great. Maybe this is basic for some guys but for me it was amazing. I’ve not boldly asked a woman for a date like that before. It’s a step in the right direction. It’d be cool if you could share this with the community. It might give some of the newer guys some hope. Thanks again David.”

David Says…

Love it Guy!

You did good. I like what you did. Instead of throwing a weak compliment like “you’re beautiful” out there, you took control. You gave her an instruction (“wear your false lashes tomorrow and I’ll tell you whether you look better with or without them”) and then you made it that YOU’D tell her if she looked better with or without them.

You showed her YOU were in control and you’d give her your opinion. See what happens when you do that? She came right up to you the next day for you to validate her. And great job on asking for the date. I like how you used seeing what she looking like without the uniform on to close her. You kept the joke flowing and used it to tell her what you wanted.

Good job man. Let us know how the date goes! And like you said it’s the small steps that add up to major changes.

As for the rest of you, it’s that easy when you think outside the box and just run with this stuff. It works. You just need to look at what’s going on around you, and take some control. Don’t let people dominate you, and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. Guy did it, and I know YOU can do it too!