Comments on: Confidence http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/confidence/4928/ Sex. Relationships. Dating. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Mon, 21 May 2012 07:16:42 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Shogo http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/confidence/4928/#comment-42463 Shogo Mon, 23 Aug 2010 23:34:52 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=4928#comment-42463 Hey Anonymous (10:39), I didn't watch the Super Bowl this year but I remember reading about that play and thinking the same thing--wow, what a gutsy friggin play. I have a suggestion for you that I think might help the way you're feeling. I know what you mean when you say, "I secretly want to take charge of my life like that." I sometimes have those feelings as well with the way my career path is going. It's a shitty feeling of helplessness. Try this out: post another comment on this blog, and post about your REAL reaction and your REAL feelings. Instead of posting anonymously, post your real name with it. I think it will help you feel better and help you overcome some of those crappy feelings. Farley posts on this blog all the time, he posts about the way he feels and I get the feeling that he's using his real name. I thought about posting anonymously as well, for two reasons. One, I have a unique name and I didn't want people to recognize me as someone who writes in the comment section of some blog. I'm not "that guy" and I didn't want to come across as "that guy." But you know what, who cares? I have to be true to myself in order to let myself out. I'd be glad if people in my "real" life see this post and tell me they read it. In fact, I'd be delighted to talk to some of my friends about David's material and I've already directed two of my friends to his stuff (they really need it, and I hope it helps them). David's message is one of honesty and learning to show yourself and how to be comfortable in your own skin. Sometimes you just have to put your balls out and just do it. If you're feeling timid, here is a good place to start. Second, what if people didn't like what I had to say? And guess what, that's exactly what happened here. My comment above has three "thumbs down" things. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed at first. Did people not like what I was saying? Not get me? But you know what, it's really ok. I'm being honest and I'm saying exactly what's on my mind. We're not here to please other people and we're not here to be afraid of what other people think of us. Did my comment above suck? Maybe. But I wrote what I thought, and I wrote from the heart, and I wrote my name right there with it. And you know what, it feels great no matter how many thumbs down I get, because what I'm really doing is I'm expressing myself. Do either of those concerns resonate with you? People who post here (including me) really want to express themselves, or they want to communicate, or they want help communicating. If your comments are coming from inside of you, Anonymous, you will get so much more out of what you write if you don't post anonymously. Lately, I've been speaking from the heart and I've been standing by it. And I'm reaping tremendous rewards from it every single day since I found David's stuff. Don't be "Background Guy." Be you and express you. Be receptive to those around you, and I think you will see that you will be respected for it. Coming full circle, I think that's what David means in this post by "real confidence". David, um.... YOU BLOW MY MIND man, again and again. Sandra, if you're reading this, what did you think of my earlier comment to your comment? Hey Anonymous (10:39), I didn’t watch the Super Bowl this year but I remember reading about that play and thinking the same thing–wow, what a gutsy friggin play. I have a suggestion for you that I think might help the way you’re feeling. I know what you mean when you say, “I secretly want to take charge of my life like that.” I sometimes have those feelings as well with the way my career path is going. It’s a shitty feeling of helplessness. Try this out: post another comment on this blog, and post about your REAL reaction and your REAL feelings. Instead of posting anonymously, post your real name with it. I think it will help you feel better and help you overcome some of those crappy feelings. Farley posts on this blog all the time, he posts about the way he feels and I get the feeling that he’s using his real name.

I thought about posting anonymously as well, for two reasons. One, I have a unique name and I didn’t want people to recognize me as someone who writes in the comment section of some blog. I’m not “that guy” and I didn’t want to come across as “that guy.” But you know what, who cares? I have to be true to myself in order to let myself out. I’d be glad if people in my “real” life see this post and tell me they read it. In fact, I’d be delighted to talk to some of my friends about David’s material and I’ve already directed two of my friends to his stuff (they really need it, and I hope it helps them). David’s message is one of honesty and learning to show yourself and how to be comfortable in your own skin. Sometimes you just have to put your balls out and just do it. If you’re feeling timid, here is a good place to start.

Second, what if people didn’t like what I had to say? And guess what, that’s exactly what happened here. My comment above has three “thumbs down” things. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed at first. Did people not like what I was saying? Not get me? But you know what, it’s really ok. I’m being honest and I’m saying exactly what’s on my mind. We’re not here to please other people and we’re not here to be afraid of what other people think of us. Did my comment above suck? Maybe. But I wrote what I thought, and I wrote from the heart, and I wrote my name right there with it. And you know what, it feels great no matter how many thumbs down I get, because what I’m really doing is I’m expressing myself.

Do either of those concerns resonate with you? People who post here (including me) really want to express themselves, or they want to communicate, or they want help communicating. If your comments are coming from inside of you, Anonymous, you will get so much more out of what you write if you don’t post anonymously. Lately, I’ve been speaking from the heart and I’ve been standing by it. And I’m reaping tremendous rewards from it every single day since I found David’s stuff. Don’t be “Background Guy.” Be you and express you. Be receptive to those around you, and I think you will see that you will be respected for it.

Coming full circle, I think that’s what David means in this post by “real confidence”.

David, um…. YOU BLOW MY MIND man, again and again.

Sandra, if you’re reading this, what did you think of my earlier comment to your comment?

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/confidence/4928/#comment-42458 Anonymous Mon, 23 Aug 2010 17:48:24 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=4928#comment-42458 Most people have believed in or at least entertained the first statement, but its when they face the second statement taht their faith in the first statement is shaken whehter consciously or subconsciously. And as far as not reaching the ultimate goal, sometimes just the act of going after things develops that spirit where you were better off than if you had just given up. Most people have believed in or at least entertained the first statement, but its when they face the second statement taht their faith in the first statement is shaken whehter consciously or subconsciously. And as far as not reaching the ultimate goal, sometimes just the act of going after things develops that spirit where you were better off than if you had just given up.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/confidence/4928/#comment-42457 Anonymous Mon, 23 Aug 2010 17:39:13 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=4928#comment-42457 I remember watching the second half of the Superbowl when Sean Payton made that call for an on-side kick. I think I literally felt goose bumps and pure excitement that some coach was just going for it, like that and letting the chips fall where they may. Almost no coach would risk a superbowl game with a move that risky and of course if it failed he would have been one of the biggest goats in history. I just loved the boldness of it and it turned out that it was the very call that changed the complexion of the game. You can not beat Payton Manning by playing it safe...he was ready to put the dagger in the Saints..but that move put the Colts back on their heels. I secretly would love to take charge of my life like that...rather than just let things happen or taking the path of least resistance. I remember watching the second half of the Superbowl when Sean Payton made that call for an on-side kick. I think I literally felt goose bumps and pure excitement that some coach was just going for it, like that and letting the chips fall where they may. Almost no coach would risk a superbowl game with a move that risky and of course if it failed he would have been one of the biggest goats in history. I just loved the boldness of it and it turned out that it was the very call that changed the complexion of the game. You can not beat Payton Manning by playing it safe…he was ready to put the dagger in the Saints..but that move put the Colts back on their heels. I secretly would love to take charge of my life like that…rather than just let things happen or taking the path of least resistance.

]]> By: JACKOFLOVE http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/confidence/4928/#comment-42432 JACKOFLOVE Sun, 22 Aug 2010 19:28:37 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=4928#comment-42432 I agree with confidence being a key ingredient in success. I agree with confidence being a key ingredient in success.

]]> By: Farley http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/confidence/4928/#comment-42427 Farley Sun, 22 Aug 2010 14:18:57 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=4928#comment-42427 Real confidence, like the statement above, is the ability to go for what you want and whatever happens, happens. See, we can not control other people, or their free will for that matter. Let's say you want to ask someone out, but you are afraid they might turn you down. The truth is you never know unless you don't try. Just go for it with confidence. If they do turn you down, at least you went in with a positive mindset and you did what YOU said you would do. Another example: Your preparing for a job interview, your nervous, you really really want the job. You visualize the company hiring you. You go to the interview with confidence. You leave and several days later you get a call from them telling you that you're not hired. The real reason you will never know. But hey, at least you went for it with confidence. See, in life you can only do what you can do. But every time you can increase that. Real confidence, like the statement above, is the ability to go for what you want and whatever happens, happens. See, we can not control other people, or their free will for that matter.
Let’s say you want to ask someone out, but you are afraid they might turn you down. The truth is you never know unless you don’t try. Just go for it with confidence. If they do turn you down, at least you went in with a positive mindset and you did what YOU said you would do.

Another example:
Your preparing for a job interview, your nervous, you really really want the job. You visualize the company hiring you. You go to the interview with confidence. You leave and several days later you get a call from them telling you that you’re not hired.

The real reason you will never know. But hey, at least you went for it with confidence.

See, in life you can only do what you can do. But every time you can increase that.

]]> By: Kevin http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/confidence/4928/#comment-42426 Kevin Sun, 22 Aug 2010 13:34:03 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=4928#comment-42426 Confidence means to me that you've gotten over all your insecurities. That you've stop being afraid of social situtations and you've opened up to people without getting defensive and what ever happens, you'll worry about it later :P I don't care that I've/might failed, But I do care if I didn't at least try. Confidence means to me that you’ve gotten over all your insecurities. That you’ve stop being afraid of social situtations and you’ve opened up to people without getting defensive and what ever happens, you’ll worry about it later :P

I don’t care that I’ve/might failed, But I do care if I didn’t at least try.

]]> By: Bob http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/confidence/4928/#comment-42413 Bob Sun, 22 Aug 2010 05:40:14 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=4928#comment-42413 These are great statements for people who lack confidence, and need to be encouraged and impowered. However, many people are actually overconfident. They spend their whole lives trying to achieve an impossible dream, because of these two statements. Some things are indeed impossible to achieve, and should not be attempted, no matter how much you wish them to be. For example, I would love to be a handsome, leading man, in the movies like George Clooney. Making millions of dollars, be wildly famous, have women swooning for me, and live a life of an A list, celebrity. Many people actually believe they will achieve rediculous goals like this, having no idea how to achieve it. Blindly persuing their dreams, they move out to California, take a job as a wait person, while interviewing endlessly for leading parts in movies. Look at the hundreds of thousands of people trying to get on American Idol, You think you can dance, etc. Most actually believe they are the next American Idol, or superstar, with limitless talent, when in fact they will never get a leading singing role, or even be good enough to sing in a house band. Yet, their parents and friends continue to quote statements like the above, to make them feel good, and encourage unrealistic goals, so as not to belittle them. Yes, they actually think they can achieve anything they wish, and don't care how many times they fail. Seems like a wasted life to me...One failure after another. So, indeed these statements are totally false, and only meant as a guideline, to keep your spirits up, and your life moving forward. These are great statements for people who lack confidence, and need to be encouraged and impowered. However, many people are actually overconfident. They spend their whole lives trying to achieve an impossible dream, because of these two statements. Some things are indeed impossible to achieve, and should not be attempted, no matter how much you wish them to be. For example, I would love to be a handsome, leading man, in the movies like George Clooney. Making millions of dollars, be wildly famous, have women swooning for me, and live a life of an A list, celebrity. Many people actually believe they will achieve rediculous goals like this, having no idea how to achieve it. Blindly persuing their dreams, they move out to California, take a job as a wait person, while interviewing endlessly for leading parts in movies. Look at the hundreds of thousands of people trying to get on American Idol, You think you can dance, etc. Most actually believe they are the next American Idol, or superstar, with limitless talent, when in fact they will never get a leading singing role, or even be good enough to sing in a house band. Yet, their parents and friends continue to quote statements like the above, to make them feel good, and encourage unrealistic goals, so as not to belittle them. Yes, they actually think they can achieve anything they wish, and don’t care how many times they fail. Seems like a wasted life to me…One failure after another. So, indeed these statements are totally false, and only meant as a guideline, to keep your spirits up, and your life moving forward.

]]> By: Shogo http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/confidence/4928/#comment-42408 Shogo Sun, 22 Aug 2010 02:55:51 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=4928#comment-42408 Sandra, I see where you're coming from, but I disagree with you. But like you, it's just my opinion. Here's why: read the two statements again. I was ho-hum about David's post until I read your comment, Sandra, and now I see that there is actually a lot what David is saying here. And it's funny because it wasn't until I read your comment, Sandra--although I disagree with what you wrote--and you actually helped me understand David's post and get more meaning out of it. Which of the two is actually impossible? We like to believe that if we put our minds to it, we can do anything we want to do. As long as we really believe it and as long as we roll up our sleeves and work hard, we can accomplish it. For many of us, this is a powerful and deep-seated concept, because it's what our parents and mentors taught us in our formative years, and it's what a lot of us as parents (I'm not a parent) tell our children because we only want the best for them. On a larger scale, it's really a version of what we call the "American Dream." It's positive thinking, that's for sure, but is it really POSSIBLE? If it's not reality and we really BELIEVE that anyway, is that really good for us as people and on our life journeys? The second statement, however--and this is where I disagree with you Sandra--seems to me more based in reality than the first statement. Practically, I don't know how achievable either of these mindsets REALLY are. However, the second statement really resonates with me. The reason why it resonates with me is b/c the second one is something I can control (or at least try to control) and something that I can strive for. It's something that can pep me up because standing in the face of failure and taking control over whether or not you care--if you let your failure define you and your future--that's all in your head. Believing you can accomplish anything you want? To me, that's an illusion. It's not possible and it's not in my control. I think the key is just accepting that I can't do anything and everything--that I'm not perfect and nobudy is--and not letting it limit what I strive for. God, I sound like a fucking self-help junkie. I promise I'm not. But once again thanks for the post David, and thanks Sandra! Sandra, I'd love to hear what you think about my viewpoint too! Just writing this already made me feel good. Ready to go out and see what this Saturday has in store for me! I swear you're a fucking genius David. And I'll keep the drinking to a minimum for you ;) Sandra, I see where you’re coming from, but I disagree with you. But like you, it’s just my opinion.

Here’s why: read the two statements again. I was ho-hum about David’s post until I read your comment, Sandra, and now I see that there is actually a lot what David is saying here. And it’s funny because it wasn’t until I read your comment, Sandra–although I disagree with what you wrote–and you actually helped me understand David’s post and get more meaning out of it.

Which of the two is actually impossible? We like to believe that if we put our minds to it, we can do anything we want to do. As long as we really believe it and as long as we roll up our sleeves and work hard, we can accomplish it. For many of us, this is a powerful and deep-seated concept, because it’s what our parents and mentors taught us in our formative years, and it’s what a lot of us as parents (I’m not a parent) tell our children because we only want the best for them. On a larger scale, it’s really a version of what we call the “American Dream.” It’s positive thinking, that’s for sure, but is it really POSSIBLE? If it’s not reality and we really BELIEVE that anyway, is that really good for us as people and on our life journeys?

The second statement, however–and this is where I disagree with you Sandra–seems to me more based in reality than the first statement. Practically, I don’t know how achievable either of these mindsets REALLY are. However, the second statement really resonates with me. The reason why it resonates with me is b/c the second one is something I can control (or at least try to control) and something that I can strive for. It’s something that can pep me up because standing in the face of failure and taking control over whether or not you care–if you let your failure define you and your future–that’s all in your head. Believing you can accomplish anything you want? To me, that’s an illusion. It’s not possible and it’s not in my control. I think the key is just accepting that I can’t do anything and everything–that I’m not perfect and nobudy is–and not letting it limit what I strive for.

God, I sound like a fucking self-help junkie. I promise I’m not. But once again thanks for the post David, and thanks Sandra! Sandra, I’d love to hear what you think about my viewpoint too!

Just writing this already made me feel good. Ready to go out and see what this Saturday has in store for me! I swear you’re a fucking genius David. And I’ll keep the drinking to a minimum for you ;)

]]> By: Mic http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/confidence/4928/#comment-42406 Mic Sun, 22 Aug 2010 00:48:20 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=4928#comment-42406 Hmm... The second seems to resonate with me more - that feeling of taking action regardless of the concept of failure is a powerful belief to live by. It's the "no guts no glory" way of thinking. In contrast, the first one just sounds like a bit of a cliche. Hmm… The second seems to resonate with me more – that feeling of taking action regardless of the concept of failure is a powerful belief to live by. It’s the “no guts no glory” way of thinking.

In contrast, the first one just sounds like a bit of a cliche.

]]> By: Sandra http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/confidence/4928/#comment-42405 Sandra Sun, 22 Aug 2010 00:24:58 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=4928#comment-42405 I don't really like the second statement because "don't care if you fail" is impossible. I really like the first statement though. I don’t really like the second statement because “don’t care if you fail” is impossible. I really like the first statement though.

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