Men are extremely visual. Women need to realize that men are extremely visual.
Being visual does not refer to what men find attractive, but rather how they become attracted to women. It means that you need to use your sexuality and your femininity to attract men.
A man will look at a woman many times — five, six, seven, ten, twelve times — and will not stop looking until a woman acknowledges him. A woman who knows and understands this, can easily get a man to approach by acknowledging him. It’s really very simple.
Say you see a man to whom you are attracted. You need to look directly at him and smile. If he notices you, then go back and smile at him again.
When you do this, the man will become very curious and wonder why you’re smiling at him over and over again. You need to encourage him to come over to you.
Understand that men are basically Scooby Doos on steroids. You’re the Scooby Snack, and you need to lay the crumbs down for men.
The crumbs are your smiles. The crumbs are a casual hello. Once a man spots a woman to whom he is attracted, you are able to go and lead him with your femininity and your smile to come over to you.
In order to really learn and understand this at a deeper level, though, you need to be observant about all your surroundings. You have to be able to look around at all your surroundings and know that men are looking at you all the time.
Most women are not observant. Most women walk into a place with their head in the clouds — on their BlackBerry or thinking about what’s on their “to do” list — and never notice men noticing them.
So one of the best things to do to learn how to be more observant is to go out in the field with a friend for a day. Have your friend be your “wing girl” for the day, with her job all day long being just to observe you and to notice all the men who are checking you out.
By doing that, and by having her point all these men out to you, you will see all the opportunities you are missing to meet men every single day. Most women have opportunities to meet men that present themselves all day long, but unfortunately they are almost never looking!
Women have been taught not to look. Men, on the other hand, are looking at women nonstop.
Men never stop looking for women. Men are always looking for women, talking about women and obsessing about women. That is how men are visual. So in order for you to become better at this, you need to learn to be more aware of your surroundings.
When I talk about using your femininity and your sexuality, I am not talking about being “slutty” or overtly coming on to men all day long. I am talking about sexuality and femininity that exudes from within.
For example, women who have a lot of masculine energy need to dress more sexy. Many women end up having very masculine energy about them due their careers. You need to feel sexy as a woman. You need to put yourself out there more. You need to really explore your feminine side.
Take a look at your body type. Take a look at the type of woman you are. Start looking through magazines that have women with similar body types to you in them. See how those women dress sexy. Go to a store and get a makeover. Find a way to express your sexuality and to feel sexy from within yourself.
Men are attracted to all body types and to all types of women. The key thing here, though, is that men are attracted to sexy women of all body types.
So women really need to explore that side of themselves more. Women need to learn to use their feminine energy and start flirting. The Scooby Doos out there will respond when you do.
I woke up this morning and realized that I am perfect. Okay, before you think think that I woke up with a very large ego, you are way off base.
I realized that I am perfect (6-0) picking football games this year, and I am so ready to put out this week’s picks and to keep that perfect record intact. Some of the NFL’s 3-0 teams will not be unbeaten after this week, but I will remain unbeaten with my picks for this week.
So for this week, I like the Houston Texans and the New York Giants to win. The Tennessee Titans will will their first one. The San Francisco 49ers will rebound. The Cincinnati Bengals will crush the self-proclaimed genius Mangenius, who could go down in history as the dumbest coach ever to coach in the NFL. My last pick is that Favre will get redemption this week.
Now onto today’s blog…
Good boy! Good boy! What a good boy!
You cleaned the house! Good boy! You look good tonight for my parents. Good boy! Wow, you picked up the kids today! Good boy!
If you guys are thinking that I am possibly a dog that drives or a dog that puts on a new collar for the parents, you are absolutely wrong!
I am talking about the way that men like to be praised. I am talking about the way men need to be praised.
It is so funny with men (and I’m making fun of my own gender, so I can). We are really very simple-minded at times.
What does every man want to hear from his woman after sex? He wants to hear, “Baby, that was the greatest thing I’ve ever felt. You are such an amazing lover!”
When he gets dressed, every man wants to hear that he looks good. He wants his ego stroked a little bit by hearing something like, “Wow, you look so hot today!”
Every man who does a task around the house wants to be patted on the back. He wants to hear what a great job he did. He wants to hear, “It was so great that you took the garbage out today. You are amazing!”
It is amazing how simple it is to please a man. It really is.
You won’t believe how long we stick around if we know that we are your best lover, or that we give you the best advice advice, or that we look good and you find us super-sexy. We are actually a lot like dogs.
Like dogs, we need to be fed. They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but I that a way to a man’s heart is really through his emotional stomach.
It’s funny. Women ask me all the time, “I just can’t seem to keep a man happy. Why?” Really? We have a manual that comes with us. It is only one page long. You just have to read it.
The women’s manual is more like one hundred pages long. You have emotions all the time. If you are PMSing, we can’t say certain things (or you take things differently). If we tease you during PMS, you freak out. If we say the wrong thing, you freak out.
When you tell us what you’re feeling during those times, we get defensive because we don’t understand things we don’t experience. As men, our manual is a whole lot shorter.
So, women, just think of us as giant, overgrown Scooby-Doos. Remember to tell us “Good Boy!” the next time a man does something (and the next time you want him to do something).
Be very specific when you’re talking to a man or when you want to talk to a man. You can’t just say, “Hey Babe, my parents are coming by tonight. Can you straighten the house up?”
You say that, and we’ll just find the obvious things. We will go to the sink, find the biggest bowl and put it in the dishwasher. If the toilet seat is up, we’ll put it down.
With men you need to be very specific in your instructions. Tell him, “Hey Babe, my parents are coming. Can you straighten up the kitchen, fluff the pillows and make the bed?”
Then, when you get home, don’t forget to praise us. Don’t forget to tell us, “You did a good job. Good boy!”
If you are all looking for some extra motivation today, check out what this master motivator has to say:
What a great “guy’s weekend” — nonstop football Saturday and Sunday, and there’s still two Monday Night Football games tonight. By midnight tonight, though, the greatest guy’s weekend will end and it will be back to reality.
Let’s talk about reality and about a subject that I believe will really get people thinking…
I just had kind of a funny conversation with Tyler (who works with me) about relationships. I’ve had this conversation with four different guys. It is something I’ve always wondered.
You know, we were just joking around as two guys will do. Then I asked him, “Do you think if men and women couldn’t have sex — if sex was out of the equation, there was no such thing as sex drive and sex didn’t even exist — do you think that men and women would still hang out? Do you think they would really hang out together?”
Do men and women have enough things in common outside of sex so that they would hang out together if sex wasn’t a factor? Granted, men love looking at women and women love looking at men, but sex is a big part of relationships.
If you took sex out of the equation, what would you have? You’d have a typical married life. Okay, I’m joking a little bit about the marriage thing . . . although that is the case in many a marriage.
If there was no such thing as sex or a sex drive, do you believe that men and women would really hang out? Do you believe that people would just hang out with people they like regardless of gender, or do you believe that guys would just hang out with guys because they have more in common with each other? Guys do have a lot of things in common (many times it’s sports).
Now, of course, this whole hypothetical couldn’t possibly happen. If sex was taken away then, then this blog would not exist and neither would I (in terms of my job description)…and you wouldn’t be here writing comments. If there were no sex then the world would still be full of dinausars, but let’s allow ourselves to go into fantasyland for a minute.
If sex were not part of the equation, would men just sit around with each other all day long scratching their groins, burping, farting and watching sports? What would women talk about when they got together for lunch if they weren’t talking about men? Would it be all hair and makeup talk?
Would Oprah have a career? What about all the self-help books? Half of them would be gone. All the “men like bitches” and “women playing hard to get” theories would be gone . . . or would they?
Would men and women still date if they had no sex drive? I’ll tell you one thing. If there were no sex drive, then “porn” would not be the number one search term on the Internet. It would be “NFL” instead.
There would be no such thing as blue balls or multiple orgasms, and one of the biggest money making businesses in the world – the manufacturers of birth control pills and Viagra — would be out of business. What would the pharmaceutical companies do?
So let’s talk about this “new reality.” If you couldn’t have sex and men and women just hung out as friends, would men and women still get married? Would men and women still live together, or would men just live in fraternity houses (and women in sorority houses) for the rest of their lives?
I’ll tell you one benefit to there being no sex. There would be far fewer cats up for adoption, because no woman would be scared to get a cat for fear of being labeled ‘the lonely cat lady.’
So now I want to hear from you. What are your thoughts on this? Let’s talk about this today, because it’s a great topic.
Do you believe that men and women would hang out if sex was out of the equation?
I used to be the guy who would go out and get validated by sleeping with women. I used to be the guy who would go out with a bunch of guys every Friday night to cruise bars, try to meet hot women, and try to get as many women’s phone numbers as possible.
I used to be that guy trying to do all that stuff — going from bar to bar and place to place — looking for the best night I could possibly have. I used to be that guy who would actually go home with girls to whom I wasn’t even all that attracted. I mean, they might be okay or kind of a cool girl . . . but they weren’t who I wanted.
The women I really wanted always had left the bar two hours before, but my ego needed validation so I’d be with women I didn’t really want just to be “that guy” who could get women to all my friends. I had to prove to them that I was the guy who could pick up women.
My ego needed that validation. I used to be that guy. I remember being that guy in my 20s.
I recently had a great coaching session with a guy in his 20s, and we were talking about this very subject. As we were talking and reminiscing, I found myself being amazed thinking about how many women I would have actually connected with if I knew then what I know now.
I would have connected with women on much deeper levels and would have had much better connections with them. I would have met women I wanted to meet, instead of allowing my ego to dictate with which women I’d have sex or ask out on a date.
Back then it didn’t matter to me about the kind of connections I was having as long as my ego was getting validated. As long as I got validated by women, I was able to connect and hook up with women.
A lot of guys are like that. I used to be like that. I used to be that guy. That’s why I totally understand what all you guys are going through and what you really want.
You don’t need to have constant validation, because truly connecting with women is one of the most unbelievable and amazing things you can do. A lot of guys don’t understand that until they get older.
What is so great about coaching you guys and really getting inside your mindset is that I understand where you want to be. I’m so jealous and wish I could be in this mindset I’m teaching you when I was younger, although it’s so great to be able to help you and see all of you get there now.
I used to be you. Now I can help you become the most powerful version of you.
I’m in the middle of a Bootcamp in 95 degree weather, so it actually feels like a bootcamp. I should have made the guys wear fatigues and combat boots to give them the full experience.
I think if they dressed like that, though, then women would do all the approaching and it would defeat the purpose of the training! So onward into the late summer heat.
Have a great Saturday, and today let’s talk about something really hot…
Do men like women who like sports? Can men deal with women who can actually do better than them in their fantasy football league? Can a man sit there and be attracted to a woman with whom he debates stats about his beloved Red Sox, or fall in love with a fellow die-hard Jets or Lions fan?
The answer to that is yes, because misery loves company (especially if you’re a Cubs or a Lions fan). It’s nice to be among fellow fans. What men can’t stand, however, are women who pretend to like sports.
If I’m watching a football game, I really don’t want to hear “Wow, this is a really exciting 4th period.” A man hears that and he’ll say, “Really? You’ve had four periods in the span of this game? That’s a quick menstrual cycle.”
Another thing men can’t stand is when a woman watches a sporting event with you and is a cheerleader who shouts things like “Woo hoo! Go team go!”
You almost feel like she’s going to don the outfit and start breaking into the Marcia Brady “F-F-FIL-M-M-MOR–FILMOR HIGH!” cheer.
What’s worse is when you go to a baseball game with a woman and she asks you, “How long is this game going to last? Is it 4 periods like football?” It’s not that we don’t like you taking an interest, but all sports are different.
Basketball has quarters, hockey has periods and football has quarters. Isn’t it funny that hockey has periods since it is the bloodiest sport? So it’s the perfect analogy for hockey.
So if a man invites you to a game, don’t act like a cheerleader. Also, when a runner slides into second base and takes out the shortstop, don’t say “What a great tackle!”
We find your pretending to know everything about sports annoying, but we actually find your ignorance about sports adorable. When you ask your silly questions during a game, it makes us feel really mushy because we know we’re going to teach you to be that true sports fan.
What is it about men and being very quiet about their personal lives? Men will be dating somebody, and when they’re out with their friends they’ll say something stupid like, “Yeah, I got to get home to the ‘ol ball and chain.” They always make it look like they don’t care.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about men, however, it is that when they finally find that one woman with whom they want to be, they want to declare their love to the world.
It’s like they just want to tell everyone. They want to tell anyone who will listen.
They want to get up on a podium and announce, “I met this great girl and I’m in love!”
It’s almost like they’ve never felt that way before. I don’t understand it, but virtually all men seem to act this way.
So I think that a lot of men never fully feel complete until they figure everything out in their life. They want to figure out their whole life. They figure out their work. They figure out their place in the world.
A lot of guys don’t want to fall in love. 23 year old guys will say things like, “I really want to be with this person, but I’ve got to figure my career out first.”
As a man, I think you need to go through a lot of life lessons and understand yourself. I’m not saying that women don’t also need to do this, and I’m not excluding women from this discussion. Men, however, just seem like they need to figure everything out before they put the pieces into place.
The thing is, though, that sometimes in life those “pieces” might come into your life before you have figured everything out. When that happens, you still need to embrace them.
It seems like when men finally do find their true love, they love to declare it. It’s like they want their friends to say, “Wow!” They want the confirmation of hearing, “Really, Dude, that’s so great!”
When a lot of guys are in the beginning stages of learning how to meet women, they tend to have a lot of the same conversations. When they sleep with a woman, they’re going to tell their friends “Man, I slept with this hot girl last night!” It’s all about confirmation.
Men are always about confirmation. They’ve always been about confirmation.
Guys will say things like, “Look at that hot babe over there. She really likes me!” That guy says that because he wants his friends to agree that the girl really likes him.
So men are always looking for confirmation when it comes to women, and that doesn’t change when men find love. When a man finds that woman he know he wants to be with for the long haul, he will make a declaration of love . . . to everyone he can find.
Think about it. Men like to blow their friends away (regardless of the what it is). Men first like to impress their friends, and then they want to blow them away.
It’s funny, too, in how many different places now a days you can make such declarations of love. You can go on Facebook and declare your love to someone. I’ve seen almost all my friends do that.
A friend of mine from college declared his love for someone on Facebook. This is a guy who probably slept with half of the women at that University when we were there, and I’ve never seen him declare his love. When I spoke to him recently, though, he declared his love for her to me. I thought he was crazy.
I’ve seen a lot of my friends declare the love, but I’m just not as public about declaring mine. That’s just not me. It’s not my personality. Why should I declare love? I have a relationship that’s amazing, and nobody needs to know. The reason I’ve probably never declared love, though, is because I never truly felt in love until now.
Now, am I going to declare my love to all of you in the blog today? Nah . . . I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to declare my love for the woman I love either. I know how I feel. I will, of course, declare that love to all my friends though!
Men are very funny and very stubborn, but when a men truly falls in love he’ll declare it and shout it from the top of the Empire State Building. So if any of you guys have ever felt this way, I’d like to hear it.
For those of you who think this blog is too sappy, I don’t really care because sometimes nothing feels better than a declaration of love. If you’ve not declared your love for somebody — including yourself — recently, it’s time you started because real love for yourself and for someone else doesn’t happen often. You should be declaring your love every single day.
Just trust me. How do those words make you feel? How do you feel when someone says “just trust me” to you?
How do you feel when someone tells you anything? Are you always looking for that loophole? Are you always looking for the untruth in what they’re saying to you? Are you always looking for something that doesn’t feel right? Are you someone who just can’t put yourself out there?
It’s funny. So many people in this world — and I don’t respect any of them — try to teach people to meet the opposite sex by turning them into something (or someone) they’re not. What happens when you follow their advice is that when you meet someone, they aren’t really meeting you.
They’re actually meeting a version of you. It might be the superhero version of you, the fantasy version of you or some other version of you, but in any case it’s not you.
The truth is that if you don’t put yourself 100% out there in life — your convictions, your beliefs and everything about you — you’re not going to get the truth back. If you only put half of yourself out there, you’re going to attract people who only put half of themselves out there. In fact, if you only put half of yourself out there then you will attract the kind of person who will ‘Google’ someone before a date to see if what they’ve been told so far is the truth.
The other day I was interviewed for an article in Cosmopolitan magazine. The interviewer asked me if people should ‘Google’ their dates before going out with them in order to find things out about them. My answer was absolutely not!
One of the most destructive behaviors you can have is to make assumptions about someone before you even talk to them and get to know them as a person. Don’t ever assume someone is going to lie to you before you even get to know them.
There is a dating expert out there for whom I have zero respect (and whose name I won’t mention), who advises everyone to ‘Google’ every person with whom they go out on a date prior to the date. I believe that you should trust people, because if you don’t then you don’t trust yourself.
If you’re somebody who’s ‘Googling’ dates and expecting the worst from people because you don’t trust yourself, then it’s time to make a major change. You have to start putting yourself out there, and you must do it 100% every day. Put yourself out there 100% as to who you are, what you’re all about, your convictions and your beliefs.
You’ve got to stop holding back. So many of you don’t trust based on your past. Do you know where that gets you? You get exactly what you had in your past.
You get in life what you put out. If you don’t learn to trust the moment, then you will constantly be recreating past failures based on your mindset and how you react. You’ve got to learn that you only get who you are.
So for all of you who hate the term “trust me” and who are always looking for that “Aha! I knew you were lying” moment, the reason you feel this way is because you’re not honest with yourself. It’s time to get honest with yourself before you actually go and meet people. It’s time to figure out who you are and what you want, and it’s time to be proud of it.
Now, let me give you one word of caution. Even after you figure out who you are and what you want, you’re still going to screw up when you’re out there meeting people. You’re still going to do things that are going to irritate people. You’re still going to get hurt.
That, though, is what life is all about. Just when you think you got it right, you realize you need to figure it all out again. It never ends. Self-growth is a process that never ends until the day you die.
