Do you know what the worst thing is about vacation? I mean, apart from the fact that they’re always too short, and involve sitting in uncomfortable airplane seats and having the person in the hotel room next door to you play their television way too loudly. Besides all of that, do you know what the worst thing is about vacation? It’s coming home.
What is it about coming home? Why is it such a downer? I have a nice home. I like my home. I love coming back and seeing my dog. I just never want vacations to end. They’re never long enough.
It was sad seeing New Orleans. It’s the second time I’ve been there post-Katrina, and the city still hasn’t totally recovered. I’m not about to go on a political tangent about how the government screwed that thing up, I’m just going to go on to talk about today’s blog topic.
Whether or not you’re getting sex seems to be a fun conversation, so let’s enjoy it. Also, speaking of sex, take a look at the end of this blog because there’s a sneak peek of a very private offer. (I know some of you only read the beginning and the end of the blog, so I didn’t want any of you to miss out on the prize).
Talking about prizes, how much fun was it as a kid to try to get the prize that came in the bottom of cereal boxes before your brothers and sisters could find them? You always knew when my brother had gotten to a cereal box, because the whole side of the box would look swollen. There’s no way to get those toy surprises in a box of cereal without causing some damage.
Sex is kind of like a prize too. So let’s talk about sex and particularly the “third date sex rule.”
It’s the third date, so it’s time to have sex, right? There seems to be a widespread rumor out there that if you get to a third date with someone, then it’s time to have sex.
What is it with this “it’s the third date so it’s time to have sex” thing? Who made up this rule? Who started it? Was it on an episide of “Sex And The City?” I mean, from where did this “rule” come?
I’m going to tell you exactly what the third date means. If you’re really in touch with yourself and the other person, then the third date signifies the point at which you usually know whether or not this is a person with whom you want to hang, get to know better and with whom you want to see if you can establish some kind of relationship.
Three dates with someone will usually tell you if this is a person you want to get to know better, because you’ve probably spent nine, ten or more hours with them by this time. You’ve had a bunch of phone calls with them in between the dates. You’re getting to know them and learn who they are.
For me, the third date always meant that I liked that persosn, I can hang with them and I want to get to know them better. It doesn’t mean that I sit there all uptight counting down the minutes to the end of date one, counting down the minutes in the second date, and then counting down the minutes to the third date when I can try to get her to come back to my house because it’s the third date and we have to have sex. C’mon…that’s ridiculous.
So from now on when you make it to three dates, instead of just thinking about sex why not ask yourself some better questions:
Do I like this person? Do I want to get to know this person better? Is this person someone whom I respect? Do I like their viewpoint? Can I imagine myself doing things with them (e.g., traveling, going out to dinner)? Do we share some of the same interests? Do I enjoy their company? Do I enjoy listening to them? Do I respect what they do for a living?
Instead of just thinking about whether you’ll vibe together in bed, think about whether you’ll vibe together as people. Because if you vibe together as people, the sex will be great. So stop thinking with Mr. Penis, and start thinking with your heart and with your head. Remember that whenever you let the penis do all of the thinking, the penis is usually wrong.
You know what’s funny too? Some people want to have sex right away. They want to live out a sexual fantasy, but they may have NO clue how to make that happen.
Today, I released a product about sexual fantasies (and how to make them a reality) BUT it’s only available to people on my private subscriber list. If you’re on that list, check your email inbox and the link to (and a video I created about) that product is contained in an email I sent you.
If you’re interested in this product and you’re not on my subscriber list, you have to sign up to be able to get it. Signing up is free, easy and fast — all you have to do is put your first name and email address in the box at the top right hand corner of the page.
I’d like to share with you an email I received from one of my readers named Ryan. Ryan writes:
“Dear David,
I just got into the biggest fight with my girlfriend, because I was really curious about how many guys she’s slept with. I’ve only slept with three women – I’m 29 years old. I lost my virginity at 19, and I’ve had three relationships, so I’ve never really had casual sex. I’ve been honest with my girlfriend about that. When I asked her how many guys she’s slept with, she told me about 40! I freaked out and started screaming at her. She ran out of the room crying, and now she won’t return my phone calls. What do I do?”
Here was my answer to Ryan:
Ryan (aka Mr. Double Standard),
How disgraceful are you? My God, I can’t believe how many men do this over and over again. How many men judge women based on the number of men with whom they’ve slept? Who cares!
So she’s slept with 40 people. What difference does that make? She’s not sleeping with all 40 of them right now. When you come home at night, you don’t find 40 men in your bedroom waiting to have sex with your girlfriend.
Do you think she’s promiscuous now that you know she has slept with 40 men? She was just expressing her sexuality.
It’s amazing how many men think that it’s perfectly okay for them to sleep with 40 women . . . and even congratulate themselves for it. When a woman sleeps with 40 men, though, men consider her to be a slut.
I can’t stand guys who have double standards. I don’t care at all with how many men a woman has slept. All I care about is that she enjoyed herself, and that she grew throughout her sexual journey.
It’s not the number of people you sleep with that’s important. It’s what you do with them. It’s how you evolve as a person through those relationships. It’s what you learn about yourself from them.
Some of us may sleep with hundreds of people along the way. Why people do that will vary, but the reasons really don’t matter.
Whether you’re a man or a woman, it doesn’t matter with how many people you’ve slept. You should never judge your partner based on the number of people with whom they’ve slept.
Does your partner enjoy being with you? Are they loyal to you? Do they love being with you? Do they love having sex with you? If the answer to these questions is yes, then what does it matter how many people they’ve slept with before you?
You have to accept that being their partner now means accepting everything they’ve done before they were with you. You have to respect their journey and the things they’ve done. If you can respect all that they’ve done, then you are honoring who they truly are.
The minute you judge somebody like you did, Ryan, you probably deserve to have her walk out on you. You were practicing a double standard. Remember that no one is a slut or a stud when you don’t judge.
Today’s video will help you turn off the negative thinking and really help you embrace each persons unique journey in life.
You’re laying there in the bliss of after-sex and your male mind starts racing. You are wondering “Did she cum? Was I good enough? Did I do all the right things?”
Now, all of a sudden, a creepy uptight feeling comes over your body. Women, being the perceptive creatures they are, will notice the change in your body language.
You know you shouldn’t say what you’re about to say, but being a curious man and having no willpower you are about to blurt out the three words women hate to hear after sex. She’ll even ask you about what you’re thinking.
No matter how much you fight it, those words seem to jump out of your mouth and the whole post-sex feeling with it. She asks you once again what you’re thinking and you, like you’re keeping score at a baseball game, ask her:
“DID YOU CUM?”
Immediately the whole great post-sex feeling washes down the bed, and then you’re both sitting there having to explain yourselves.
There are far better ways to ask a woman this question. How about asking it before sex:
• “What do you like?”
• “What do you enjoy? I really want to please you.”
• “What are some of your favorite positions?”
• “Do you prefer oral?”
You can also have her show you what she likes. Have her masturbate for you so she can show you how she likes to be touched, and you can do the same back to her.
If you’re a woman and you want to know what a guy likes, just ask him:
• “What are your favorite positions?”
• “How do you like to be stroked?”
If you open up communication between the two of you, then you won’t have to ask those dreaded three words. Once you have asked them, the pressure starts to build.
Sometimes it takes a woman an hour to cum with you. It doesn’t matter if you possess a magic tongue and magic fingers, or if you can last as long as Superman. It takes her feeling comfortable with you before she can enjoy all the wonders of her orgasms.
So the next time you’re about to utter the three dreaded words “Did you cum?”, get up and run to your computer and read this blog! Call it “cum insurance.”
As for you ladies, it’s time you shared some of the wonderful ways that a man can help bring you to orgasm. I know a ton of men who will enjoy reading this blog over and over again.
Ladies, please do not hold back. Educate your fellow man!
You never know when you may find yourself in a bar one night having a silly conversation about this blog you read on the Internet, and the guy sitting across from you read the exact way to get you to cum. Think about how much fun that would be!
It’s like programming him before you meet him. It’s like TiVo . . . except it’s Dicko
When Is The Right Time To Have Sex? By David Wygant
Recently I’ve been dating a therapist. We had a long discussion one night about when the best time is to have sex with someone for the first time.
Of course she cited all sorts of studies that said that the longer you wait, the greater the chances that things will develop into a long relationship. I disagreed with this idea.
My ex and I spent seven years together, and we slept together within the first two weeks after we started dating. It was just part of why we were attracted to each other.
So instead of me rambling on and on today, I want to conduct my own survey . . . and everyone needs to contribute. Tell me when you think the perfect time is to sleep with someone for the first time in order to have the best chance of the relationship being successful.
Today, this blog is all about you. I want to spend my day reading your thoughts and commenting on them. Let the conversation begin . . .
A post about our acceptance of genitals in modern society by David Wygant
I get this question from men all the time: “David, does size really matter to women?”
Ladies, I expect some amazing comments on this blog today. I don’t have a vagina the last time I checked, and the last time I looked down below I was pretty adequate.
There seem to be a lot of guys who carry around the stigma of having a small penis. Seemingly there’s a woman at some time in these guy’s life that made them feel tiny and insignificant.
Before we dive deeper into this, I’ve never once in my life heard women have similar complaints about their vagina. I never hear women ask me what they can do about these kind of problems:
“My vagina is so wide, it’s like the Lincoln Tunnel during rush hour.” or
“My vagina is so tight that it’s like being stuck in a West Virginia coal mine.” or
“My vagina is so shallow that it just spits a penis out the minute it comes in.”
You just don’t hear women really bitching about their vagina. The reason why women don’t bitch about their vagina is because that vagina gives them many orgasms.
I’ve been with women who are very orgasmic, and at the end of a great sex session I get a little vagina envy. I’d love to have one one day to see what it’s like . . . I’d blog about it and call it “My Day With A Vagina.” That, however, is a blog for another day . . .
Whatever equipment you possess, whether it’s a small penis or a wide vagina, you need to learn to use the equipment with which you’re blessed. If you have a small penis, I suggest you become a master at foreplay so that by the time you use you’re small penis you’ll be able to work wonders with Underdog.
Women have told me time and time again that it’s not the girth of your swollen member, it’s the way the swollen member massages the walls. There’s nothing you can do if you have a small penis.
Sure, you can buy some of those penis patches they sell on the Internet, but the bottom line is that it’s not the size of your Johnson that matters. It’s the way you use it.
You must learn how to be a better lover in every which way, so that when you insert your penis into her body she’ll feel like the Statue of Liberty is entering her. It’s all about playing into your strengths so your weaknesses don’t show.
It’s time you stopped thinking about “does size matter? Instead, it’s time you started becoming an amazing lover.
I was on a plane the other week going to and from New York City. It seems like I’m always on a plane to New York City . . . American Airlines flight 22 leaving LAX at 11:00 a.m. and arriving at JFK at 11:25 p.m.. “Is there any chance I can get an upgrade today?” I always ask the not-so-friendly woman working the counter at LAX. I always get the same response: “No room in first class.” So, I guess it’s another flight in coach with all the common people like myself.
So here’s something interesting. While I was on the plane I was reading in detail an article about a book I’ve spoken about several times on the blog. The book is titled “Radical Honesty” and is written by a psychologist named Brad Blanton, Ph.D. The person who wrote the article was talking about how Brad Blanton uses this “radical honesty” in order to meet women.
How do all the women who read this blog feel about a man who walks over to them and says “I saw you from across the street, and wanted to come over and see if you’d like to have a cup of coffee?” How do women feel about men being that honest and that bold? That’s a tough approach for men to make. I’ve made it and it works. It’s called the direct approach. It’s cutting through the bullshit and being honest right from the get-go.
Another one I’ve used is when I’ve seen a woman at a bar or at a party and I’ve said “I’m about to leave, but I noticed you and I’d really like to have a drink with you some night.” If I feel any hesitation in her, I’ll say “Think of it as a blind date but we’ve seen each other. I’ll call you, we’ll see if we connect If no, then no harm done.” I like that approach . . . it’s really honest.
Not only is this approach honest, but it’s challenging her. You’re basically telling her that you have no idea if you’re going to connect with her either. That’s very intriguing. These are things that I’ve done . . . and they work.
The “Radical Honesty” author likes to take it a step further. He likes to ask a woman out for a cup of coffee, and then the minute they sit down for a cup of coffee he likes to say to her “The only reason why I asked you out for a cup of coffee is so I can have sex with you.” That’s where “radical honesty” becomes really different. That’s where it becomes raw.
Most people (both men and women), even if they’re thinking something like that, are rarely going to say it out loud. Most people are not going to be that honest with somebody, and tell a person they don’t know that the only reason they approached them was to have sex with them. That is not only gutsy, it’s radically honest.
When I was in my early twenties and living in New York City, I had a summer share house in the Hamptons. A friend of mine taught me a really interesting thing. He said “Instead of chasing the young women this summer, why don’t you be radically honest and tell the older women what you want.” This was my first experience with cougars and sabretooths.
I watched this guy walk over to women in the bar and leave the bar with those women fifteen minutes later to go to their house. His line was “Let’s cut the bullshit. I’m young, you’re slightly older. I know that I can satisfy you all night long, and I also know that you would love to have sex with a young guy who can last all night long.” Pretty radical . . . and honest.
So when I was 23 years-old and I started doing that, it worked more often than not. It worked because of the confidence with which I carried it off, and the honesty in the way I said it. No games. No bullshit.
Now am I suggesting that you do the same thing? It all depends on how honest you want to be. The message here is not about being honest just to get laid.
The deeper message here is that if you stop lying in your encounters with the opposite sex, you won’t have to remember anything. It’s the people who lie and make up stories who always have to remember what they made up.
People who are radically honest just have to remember who they are. So apart from any book or article you might read, or even apart from my blog, what you need to do is start to be honest with yourself and honest with everyone else.
No manipulation game is going to make someone want you long-term. It’s time to embrace yourself and develop your own version of being radically honest.
Dripping, Oozing, Bubbling And Gooing by David Wygant
Do you desire when you go out with a woman to leave her dripping, oozing, gooing and gushing with sexual desire for you?
Do you desire to have women calling you throughout the day describing erotic thoughts they are having about what they want to perform on you that night?
If you answered yes to both of these questions . . . then read on.
So how does a man get a woman oozing, bubbling and gushing with desire for him sexually? Do men need to master the art of dirty talk to make this happen? Does a man need to learn how to seduce a woman when he first meets her to get her gushing with desire? Nope.
All a man needs to understand is one thing: the art of seduction is entirely about how to engage a woman’s mind.
If you can engage and turn on a woman’s mind, and make her totally intrigued by who you are . . . then she is going to start oozing, gushing and bubbling all over for you.
Men ask me all the time why I am able to connect with women on such a higher level than they can? I tell them it’s because when I meet a woman, I’m truly interested in who she is and what she’s all about.
When I meet a woman, I don’t try to sell myself to her. I speak to her like she’s a person . . . like somebody who I don’t know but somebody about whom I really want to learn. If a woman intrigues me, I’m going to ask her a ton of questions. I’m going to listen to everything she has to say, and I’m going to take the conversation deeper into her mind and soul.
I don’t just desire women like the GEICO caveman looks at women, i.e., as someone to just get off in. When I meet a woman, I actually want to connect with her. I want to see if we have a potentially deep connection. I want to learn things about her. I want to find out what she’s all about. I want to see if we have things in common.
I want to build upon each encounter I have with a woman, and look forward to the next time we’re going to meet. If I’m interested in a woman, she knows it. No games. No bullshit.
I’ll text her the next day. In the text, I’ll tell her I had a great time the night before and I’ll tell her when we’re hanging out again. I’ll call her and take the conversation from the day before even deeper.
See, I want to connect with a woman. I want her to be oozing, gushing, gooing and salivating.
The art of getting a woman so turned on sexually that she just wants to ravage your body from head to toe, is to turn on her mind and intrigue her with such confidence that you become different than all the other guys that are salivating over her.
A woman doesn’t want a dripping, drooling fool following her around like a puppy dog. She desires a man who knows who he is and what he’s all about.
A woman also desires a man who’s not afraid to be vulnerable. A vulnerable man is a strong man. He doesn’t give a shit what he says because he’s speaking from the truth, and that makes him strong.
A man who makes a woman bubble, gush and ooze with sexual desire is a man who challenges a woman’s mind, body and soul. The next time you desire to get a woman to ooze with sexual energy for you, try to be the most powerful you that you can be . . . and don’t worry about the insecure chatter that can plague your mind.
A post on the importance of learning sex finesse by David Wygant
Thanks to the “Amazing Sex” blog from the other day, I received this interesting perspective from one of our female readers. None of you know her. She’s been, as she says, “an anonymous reader” from the beginning. The only thing I’m allowed to share is that she is a very attractive woman in her early thirties who lives in a big City.
She wanted to share her story about a sexual experience she had the other night, which sounds more like she slept with a college frat boy mixed with our friend the GEICO Caveman than with a man.
What you’re about to read may make you feel a lot of different emotions. But what you’re about to read I hope may change your perspective on how to have sex with a woman if you act like this type of man. Because if you decide to have sex with a woman you barely know, she consents to it, and you treat her like this . . . this is how you are making her feel.
Our “anonymous reader” also shared with me that this man keeps calling her, thinking he was some kind of tiger in bed. She has now basically eliminated all his phone messages, and will continue to ignore him from this day forward. This man was not a tiger . . . he was a caveman.
Without further ado, here’s this reader’s story:
Thanks David for letting me share my horrific experience with this man.
Having just read David’s blog about how great “after-sex” can be with someone with whom you share an amazing physical and mental connection, I thought this posting might be apropos.
I recently had a sexual experience with an unprecedented, and frankly unhappy, side effect: I didn’t want to be kissed or touched in any way by the man with whom I had just had sex. That is, I wanted nothing to do with any kind of “after-sex.”
Was this someone to whom I was simply not attracted? No.
Was this a post one-night stand feeling of regret, or was it a case of post-beergoggling morning shock? Nope.
This happened with someone I’d already slept with . . . twice. Yes, this “relationship” fell more into the “booty-call” category, and the couple of times I had slept with this man had been . .. okay. If it was just “okay,” then why did I invite him over the other night for time number three?
Well, he was a very good kisser and I really enjoyed how much he liked to spend the entire night intertwined, touching and kissing. Also, to be perfectly honest, it had been a while (a very long while in fact) since I’d had sex. So what can I say . . .
Like the Sultry Brunette wrote about on this blog, I will admit that very often I have “faked it” with a man. While I many times do not reach orgasm with a man, do not mistake this as an indication that I do not enjoy sex. Quite the opposite in fact.
I very much enjoy most other aspects of having sex and derive plenty of enjoyment through those routes. I LOVE to kiss . . . a deep, passionate kiss to me is as good as any other part of the sexual experience. I love the body contact and the touch of connecting with a man. I love how you breath mingles. I love how sensitive every part of your body becomes to the feel of someone else’s lips, hands and body making contact with yours. Most of all, I love to do myriad different things to bring a man enjoyment during sex. That, in and of itself, really excites me.
So what happened on time number three with the GEICO Caveman (hereinafter I’ll refer to him simply as “Mr. Caveman”)? Nothing good . . . at all.
I understand that when your “relationship” consists mainly of “booty calls,” that there are certain elements of romance, tenderness, and intimacy that may be missing from the equation. What occurred with Mr. Caveman, however, crossed way over the “few missing elements” line into the territory of “completely devoid” of ANY romance, ANY tenderness and ANY intimacy.
Here’s what happened . . .
Mr. Caveman came over late one evening and upon entering my home, he pulled me immediately into my bedroom. No chit-chat . . . no kiss hello. While on previous occasions we had a long makeout session before anything more had happened, this time there was NO preliminaries of any kind.
He backed me up to my bed, pushed me down on the bed and immediately layed on top of me. Within no more than a minute, he had unzipped his pants and pulled down mine. He already had put on protection.
Before I had time to say anything, he was already inside me. I remember my first time being somewhat uncomfortable and a little painful at first … but that did not compare to this. This was painful.
Notably, he still had not said a word to me. When I tried to push him off of me, he grabbed both of my wrists and pinned them down on the bed. So, at this point, I just let him finish.
Here’s where things got weird . . .
After he finished, he smiled at me and leaned down to kiss me. I turned my head away from him. Then, he . . . ASKED . . . if he could hold me for the rest of the night. Fairly upset from the preceding course of events I simply turned over and tried to go to sleep.
During the next several hours, he made multiple attempts to reinitiate kissing and cuddling. I wouldn’t let him do any of it … which is ironic considering how those activities to me are some of the best parts of being intimate with someone.
I realize many of you are thinking “Well, what do you expect from a booty call . . . romance and roses?!” No … but this is not the kind of sex I would ever want to have with anyone, anytime, anywhere ever again. Whether sex occurs during a booty call, with a lover or in the context of a relationship, there should always be some element of intimacy.
