“Would you rather masturbate or have bad sex?”

I had to think…

The question isn’t easy to answer…

But in the end, I’d rather masturbate than have bad sex.

Here’s the deal: masturbation is quick, easy, and painless.  I can think about whomever I want, in whatever outfit I want, doing whatever nasty things I want.

Quick, done.  I feel good, and relaxed. The tension is taken care of.

Granted, I’m missing the kissing, the touching, the holding, the intimacy, and the conversation. I’m not getting the total package, the whole nine yards, the whole seduction.

And isn’t that what we all really want?

But get this: bad sex is awful, it’s awkward, it’s terrible.  And afterwards, you have to lie in bed next to somebody you just had the worst sex with ever.

Think about it.

You’re not aligned with them sexually at all and now you’ve got to lay there, and hope and pray that they disappear or ‘have to get up early for work’ or ‘go home to let out the dog’.

What’s even worse is when they spend the night!

The perks of waking up next to someone you resonate with on a physical/sexual/emotional/mental level, is that you get to express that attraction in the morning. I’m not a morning-sex guy but it’s awfully hard to resist when you’re waking up next to your sexual match.

But when the sex is bad?

Not only do you have bad memories from the previous night, but now you have to contend with her morning breath and crusty eyes. And she wants to use your toothbrush and wear one of your t-shirts, and she doesn’t realize how bad she was so she wants to have more bad sex with you right now!

Some of you may agree with the saying that ‘sex is like pizza—even when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.’

Whoa buddy. No.

Bad sex is not good.

I’ll avoid it at any cost.

I don’t believe in it.

I think all of you should hold out for good sex.  All of you should hold out for ladies that you are really attracted to.

Get out there and date—by all means! But don’t settle for the first person to show you sexual interest. And if you do end up having mediocre sex with them—let it end there! And spend your energy getting what you really want.

It’s all about good sex people.

Get. It.

Good.

. . .

How about you? Would you rather have bad sex or masturbate?

Let me know in the comments below.

Today we have a SHORT podcast about blowjobs…

…every man’s favorite topic (next to boobs and sports).

This was sparked by a question from one of our lovely readers, Michelle. (Hey Michelle!)

Listen up, listen good, it’s time for David Wygant’s Podcast Wednesday:

So, men, what do you think? What should Michelle do in this situation?

How do YOU feel about blowjobs? Let me know in the comments below.

I thought “sex-changing moment“? What do you mean sex-changing moment?! And then I started going deeper into it, and I realized I did have a life-changing moment brought on by a sexual encounter.

. . .

When I was younger I just wanted to get laid.

I wanted to know that I can screw a woman for 45 minutes straight. Back then it was always about duration. I remember being in college, talking to my friends, saying “Man, I banged her for like an hour today!” I didn’t even realize that I was making her so raw inside, ripping her to pieces, because really it was just pounding flesh for 60 minutes!

I remember having that mentality. I thought I was a great lover because I could fuck for an hour.

How little I knew then.

I remember when my girlfriend and I were 23 and broke up. I was single, living in Manhattan and I met this incredible woman—she was 32. And she was married.

I was hanging out at a country club, one of those real posh places. This woman sees me, approaches me, and basically said that she wanted to use and abuse me because she was tired of her marriage. We exchanged numbers.

She called me. She pursued me, and she came over one day, and taught me everything I needed to know about foreplay.

See foreplay to me was always something great, fun to do, but I thought it ended with a good 60 minutes of screwing. I really thought that 60 minutes of raw pounding was what a woman wanted!

This woman told me, “Look, you are going to be my boy toy. You’re going to do everything I say because my husband does nothing for me.” And she basically guided me through the longest session I ever had in my entire life. She told me to go slow on her body. She told me when I went down on her that I had to go slow. She guided my head a different way. She came once. She told me to stay down there and let her do it again.

She really taught me the art of eating pussy and the whole erotic side of foreplay. She changed my perspective. I remember when I was done eating her. I came up to enter her and she looked at me and she said, “Please. Slow, sensual.”

I held her tight. She kissed me during it. She made me look in her eyes. She taught me eroticism. She taught me so many things that I didn’t know, so many things that I’ve never experienced before.

It was one of the best experiences in my life because it really showed me that women want a guy to pay attention to every little detail in bed. That being a good lover was not about how hard you can pound her or how long you can last—it was about everything leading up to it.

She taught me something else that day. She left me a message. And she said every woman that you’re ever with, that you ever sleep with, has to feel comfortable with you. Simply, patience.

Be patient when you’re getting to know them. If you’re patient, the sex will be even better.

Her message was great. And it was a life-changing sexual experience for me.

I’d like all of you to share your life-changing sexual experiences in the comments section below.

I’m in Boston this weekend—not really enjoying the cold weather but I always have a blast when I’m up here.  It’s such a college town here, and the streets in Cambridge are always packed with young people at night, so going out at night you never run out of new people to meet.

Last night I was out with a group of friends and we met some very cool women in our hotel who hung out with us for the evening.  One woman I met, who was in town on business, was an incredibly fun person to talk to, just very lively and full of energy.

She was also a very sexual person.  We were talking for a while, and we eventually got to the topic of the things we were passionate about in life.  I asked her what she loved to do, and she replied, “Oh, I’m  very passionate about getting off!”

I had to laugh when I heard that, and I thought it was great that she was being so open with me about herself and her personal life.  So we talked about her getting herself off, ringing the doorbell, auditioning the finger puppets, whatever you want to call it.  Then she lowered her voice a little bit and told me that she had masturbated twice in her hotel room that day—once in the morning, and again before going out.

By the end of the night, we had spent so much time talking about and describing all sorts of sexual things—all those things that she was passionate about—that she was basically ready to jump any guy’s bones around her.  I said to her, “This is going to be a great blog to write about!”  She asked me what would be so good about it, what is it that men could learn from something like that.

A lot of guys don’t really realize just how sexual women really and how high women’s sex drives are. Women are very, very sexual, and they LOVE talking about sex.  If you ever listen to two women who are close friends talk, so much of it will be about sex.  Much more than men.

Women can talk about sex all day long.  Men will play the “Who Would You Rather Bang?” game or sit around and check women out and point out hot women to their friends—but women can really sit there and talk about sex, describe what they like, and recall past sexual encounters in vivid detail in their own imaginations until the cows come home.

Men like to think sex, but a lot of guys have a hard time expressing it—especially around other men or a new woman they’ve just met.  A woman will have a hard time getting sexually aroused in conversation around a guy like that, and it’s not because he doesn’t know what to do or what to say or how to touch or whatever.  It’s because he has a hard time getting in touch with his own sexual thoughts and desires in himself.

Men spend so much time thinking about having sex and trying to get sex, and virtually no time thinking about what it is that they truly love about sex.  What it is that actually turns them on.  So in the end they have no way of expressing their own sexual desires because they don’t know what to say.  They’ve never practiced being open, letting it out, and just talking about it.

So while you guys are going out this weekend, or just relaxing at home, I want you guys to take a minute and be open and honest with yourself about sex.  Tonight, don’t whack off to online porn, but take some time to think and describe all those things that you like.

Do you like the soft feel of a woman’s skin sliding across your palms?  Do you like to admire the curve in her lower back?  Do you like to lay your face in her long hair and take a deep inhale?  Maybe you like kissing, maybe you like cuddling, maybe you like staring deeply into a woman’s eyes while you’re making love, maybe you like banging really hard, maybe you’re into some really weird gross shit I’d rather not hear about—but whatever it is, describe it to yourself in your own head.

What do you love about being intimate with a woman and why?  Maybe you’re inexperienced and that’s fine too, just use your imagination—what would it be like?

Describe the sensations.  Write it down if you want to.  You’ll be surprised to see what you come up with.

Okay, kidding, I’m not going to be in Playboy, but on Playboy Radio. Check out the The Tiffany Granath Show at 3pm EST if you have Sirius XM. It will also be rebroadcast at 3am EST.

It’ll be a sexy time for all.

And when you listen to the show, please let me know what you think in the comments below!

They had good pedigree. They were successful and age appropriate. They were good-looking. They followed up with phone calls. Then all of a sudden—poof—they just vanished.

You’re in shock. You can’t believe that this one went away. You felt like it was the perfect kind of a relationship. You really felt like you were ready for it. You really needed this relationship because you were so tired of dating. You were tired of putting yourself online and having nothing happen. You were tired of going to the parties and heading out to the same bars and restaurants. You felt like this was the one.

Here’s the deal: everything that you’ve ever known about dating is wrong. During those three weeks you never kept a dating journal. See, Mr. and Mrs. Perfect do not exist. What we do when we date is we get caught up in what I call the oxytocin moment. We get caught up in this wave of emotion, like a drug is released in our bodies.

It feels so good to be rescued from being single. But in reality, the warning signs are there from the beginning. I tell everybody in my very new book, Naked, to keep a dating journal, and write down how you feel at the end of each date. How does this person make you feel? Do you feel desired? Do you feel excited? Take it even deeper. Do you keep a journal where you know exactly the way you need to feel in a relationship?

My new book Naked goes really deep into dating. It gets you to fall in love with the most important person in your life: you. Because when it comes down to dating, most of us date based on needs. I need to have a relationship. I need to no longer be single. I need to find somebody different because the last person didn’t treat me well.

What Naked does is it takes everything down to the root and allows you to forgive everything that’s gone on in your life and allows you to embrace all the lessons you’ve learned. But more importantly, it gets you to fall in love with who you are as a person. It allows you to realize that you’re an amazing catch.

Naked is almost 200 pages of daily exercises that help you no longer date out of need, out of frustration, or out of desperation. When it comes to love, in order to find someone to love you the way you need to be loved, you need to love yourself first. You need to take yourself out on dates. You need to do things for yourself. You need to feel amazing and wonderful and you need to strip yourself down of all your fears and become naked. You need to forget about past failures and learn from them.

But more importantly, you need to know exactly what you want going into that date, emotionally. Because when it comes down to dating, all it is is based on feelings. How did you feel at the end of a date? Most of us have never asked that question, because we always date based on wants, needs, and desires.

It’s time to change the way you date. It’s time to get naked.

I had a few really interesting people over at my home last night, and as we were sitting around talking I thought, “This would make a great Podcast!”

So press the play button and listen to us talking about life, sex, dating, relationships, and closing the chapter on 2011.

You’re also going to find out what I was really, really scared of as a kid, and you’re going to hear something else in today’s Podcast that will absolutely scare you away: How are horror films and sex related?

I think a great topic that everyone should be talking about this weekend.

The weather is getting cold outside and it is time to start warming up the fires inside.

So how do we warm up the fires that lurk deep inside every woman.

Glad you asked.

Today I am in a pre holiday mood and I have a special video just for all my readers.

Today I am going to share with you the secrets on how to make her sizzle with passion and desire for you.

Not only that I am going to show you how to do this the second you meet her.

Enjoy today’s video.

Are you ready to learn the truth behind her orgasms and what really makes her hot for you. Click here to find out, your going to be even more shocked.

Come on guys! According to this woman, they are on to you. She basically told me that every guy who has ever used this excuse has not only cum too fast the first time, but has also cum too fast on the tenth, twentieth and one hundreth time as well.

There are just some men who have no control, and they choose to have sex this way. Why? The men who have sex this way are self-centered, and sex is solely about them getting off.

When I was eighteen, I had a lot of “Oops! I didn’t mean to cum” moments. Instead of being content with the “oops moments,” I learned how to become an amazing lover. Well, at least, that is what I’ve been told.

It was important to me to become a great lover, and it was important to me to be able to satisfy a woman. I never wanted to be called “Mr. One Pump.”

Bad Sex

Now, granted, there are times when I’ve cum faster than others. Perhaps I was nervous the first time, or whatever the reason may be. As a general rule of thumb, though, I want to make sure the woman I am with is in complete ecstasy before I get there, because that it was really turns me on.

Going by what most women tell me, however, there seems to be a boy band out there and the group’s name is “The One Pumps.” These merry men tend to be men who really don’t care if a woman is satisfied or not. It’s all about them ejaculating as quickly as possible.

Now there are guys who actually suffer from a disease called premature ejaculation. So before all of you get your panties in a knot, I will excuse those of you who suffer from this ailment.

As for the rest of you who are members of the group called “The One Pumps,” you have no excuses. There is a reason why when you’re in a relationship that you have to beg for sex. What woman wants a man who basically slides home, dusts off his pants, and then heads toward the dugout while high-fiveing his buddies . . . all in the span of about thirteen seconds.

Let me also tell you a little thing about sex. Powerful men who can satisfy a woman always get the best blow jobs, because women LOVE to please a powerful man who pleases them. If you are a member of the band called “The One Pumps,” she’s really had enough of you.

So if this is who you are in bed, isn’t it time you understood the art of totally turning a woman on so that you in turn will get some of the most amazing head you’ve ever gotten and will have her begging you for a lot more pumping? I go over all of this in detail in Part VII of my Men’s Audio Mastery Series, and tell you how to be an amazing lover who will leave her begging for sex every time.

So c’mon ladies . . . Let’s teach the men a lesson here. Let’s talk about some of your one pump experiences.

We’re not talking about how you put gas in your car at the pump . . . we’re talking about the ‘oops man’ with his favorite line “Oops! This has never happened to me before!” Guys, they’re not buying it, so you better buy something. You better find a way to become a better lover.