I’m in Boston this weekend—not really enjoying the cold weather but I always have a blast when I’m up here.  It’s such a college town here, and the streets in Cambridge are always packed with young people at night, so going out at night you never run out of new people to meet.

Last night I was out with a group of friends and we met some very cool women in our hotel who hung out with us for the evening.  One woman I met, who was in town on business, was an incredibly fun person to talk to, just very lively and full of energy.

She was also a very sexual person.  We were talking for a while, and we eventually got to the topic of the things we were passionate about in life.  I asked her what she loved to do, and she replied, “Oh, I’m  very passionate about getting off!”

I had to laugh when I heard that, and I thought it was great that she was being so open with me about herself and her personal life.  So we talked about her getting herself off, ringing the doorbell, auditioning the finger puppets, whatever you want to call it.  Then she lowered her voice a little bit and told me that she had masturbated twice in her hotel room that day—once in the morning, and again before going out.

By the end of the night, we had spent so much time talking about and describing all sorts of sexual things—all those things that she was passionate about—that she was basically ready to jump any guy’s bones around her.  I said to her, “This is going to be a great blog to write about!”  She asked me what would be so good about it, what is it that men could learn from something like that.

A lot of guys don’t really realize just how sexual women really and how high women’s sex drives are. Women are very, very sexual, and they LOVE talking about sex.  If you ever listen to two women who are close friends talk, so much of it will be about sex.  Much more than men.

Women can talk about sex all day long.  Men will play the “Who Would You Rather Bang?” game or sit around and check women out and point out hot women to their friends—but women can really sit there and talk about sex, describe what they like, and recall past sexual encounters in vivid detail in their own imaginations until the cows come home.

Men like to think sex, but a lot of guys have a hard time expressing it—especially around other men or a new woman they’ve just met.  A woman will have a hard time getting sexually aroused in conversation around a guy like that, and it’s not because he doesn’t know what to do or what to say or how to touch or whatever.  It’s because he has a hard time getting in touch with his own sexual thoughts and desires in himself.

Men spend so much time thinking about having sex and trying to get sex, and virtually no time thinking about what it is that they truly love about sex.  What it is that actually turns them on.  So in the end they have no way of expressing their own sexual desires because they don’t know what to say.  They’ve never practiced being open, letting it out, and just talking about it.

So while you guys are going out this weekend, or just relaxing at home, I want you guys to take a minute and be open and honest with yourself about sex.  Tonight, don’t whack off to online porn, but take some time to think and describe all those things that you like.

Do you like the soft feel of a woman’s skin sliding across your palms?  Do you like to admire the curve in her lower back?  Do you like to lay your face in her long hair and take a deep inhale?  Maybe you like kissing, maybe you like cuddling, maybe you like staring deeply into a woman’s eyes while you’re making love, maybe you like banging really hard, maybe you’re into some really weird gross shit I’d rather not hear about—but whatever it is, describe it to yourself in your own head.

What do you love about being intimate with a woman and why?  Maybe you’re inexperienced and that’s fine too, just use your imagination—what would it be like?

Describe the sensations.  Write it down if you want to.  You’ll be surprised to see what you come up with.

Okay, kidding, I’m not going to be in Playboy, but on Playboy Radio. Check out the The Tiffany Granath Show at 3pm EST if you have Sirius XM. It will also be rebroadcast at 3am EST.

It’ll be a sexy time for all.

And when you listen to the show, please let me know what you think in the comments below!

They had good pedigree. They were successful and age appropriate. They were good-looking. They followed up with phone calls. Then all of a sudden—poof—they just vanished.

You’re in shock. You can’t believe that this one went away. You felt like it was the perfect kind of a relationship. You really felt like you were ready for it. You really needed this relationship because you were so tired of dating. You were tired of putting yourself online and having nothing happen. You were tired of going to the parties and heading out to the same bars and restaurants. You felt like this was the one.

Here’s the deal: everything that you’ve ever known about dating is wrong. During those three weeks you never kept a dating journal. See, Mr. and Mrs. Perfect do not exist. What we do when we date is we get caught up in what I call the oxytocin moment. We get caught up in this wave of emotion, like a drug is released in our bodies.

It feels so good to be rescued from being single. But in reality, the warning signs are there from the beginning. I tell everybody in my very new book, Naked, to keep a dating journal, and write down how you feel at the end of each date. How does this person make you feel? Do you feel desired? Do you feel excited? Take it even deeper. Do you keep a journal where you know exactly the way you need to feel in a relationship?

My new book Naked goes really deep into dating. It gets you to fall in love with the most important person in your life: you. Because when it comes down to dating, most of us date based on needs. I need to have a relationship. I need to no longer be single. I need to find somebody different because the last person didn’t treat me well.

What Naked does is it takes everything down to the root and allows you to forgive everything that’s gone on in your life and allows you to embrace all the lessons you’ve learned. But more importantly, it gets you to fall in love with who you are as a person. It allows you to realize that you’re an amazing catch.

Naked is almost 200 pages of daily exercises that help you no longer date out of need, out of frustration, or out of desperation. When it comes to love, in order to find someone to love you the way you need to be loved, you need to love yourself first. You need to take yourself out on dates. You need to do things for yourself. You need to feel amazing and wonderful and you need to strip yourself down of all your fears and become naked. You need to forget about past failures and learn from them.

But more importantly, you need to know exactly what you want going into that date, emotionally. Because when it comes down to dating, all it is is based on feelings. How did you feel at the end of a date? Most of us have never asked that question, because we always date based on wants, needs, and desires.

It’s time to change the way you date. It’s time to get naked.

I had a few really interesting people over at my home last night, and as we were sitting around talking I thought, “This would make a great Podcast!”

So press the play button and listen to us talking about life, sex, dating, relationships, and closing the chapter on 2011.

You’re also going to find out what I was really, really scared of as a kid, and you’re going to hear something else in today’s Podcast that will absolutely scare you away: How are horror films and sex related?

I think a great topic that everyone should be talking about this weekend.

The weather is getting cold outside and it is time to start warming up the fires inside.

So how do we warm up the fires that lurk deep inside every woman.

Glad you asked.

Today I am in a pre holiday mood and I have a special video just for all my readers.

Today I am going to share with you the secrets on how to make her sizzle with passion and desire for you.

Not only that I am going to show you how to do this the second you meet her.

Enjoy today’s video.

Are you ready to learn the truth behind her orgasms and what really makes her hot for you. Click here to find out, your going to be even more shocked.

Come on guys! According to this woman, they are on to you. She basically told me that every guy who has ever used this excuse has not only cum too fast the first time, but has also cum too fast on the tenth, twentieth and one hundreth time as well.

There are just some men who have no control, and they choose to have sex this way. Why? The men who have sex this way are self-centered, and sex is solely about them getting off.

When I was eighteen, I had a lot of “Oops! I didn’t mean to cum” moments. Instead of being content with the “oops moments,” I learned how to become an amazing lover. Well, at least, that is what I’ve been told.

It was important to me to become a great lover, and it was important to me to be able to satisfy a woman. I never wanted to be called “Mr. One Pump.”

Bad Sex

Now, granted, there are times when I’ve cum faster than others. Perhaps I was nervous the first time, or whatever the reason may be. As a general rule of thumb, though, I want to make sure the woman I am with is in complete ecstasy before I get there, because that it was really turns me on.

Going by what most women tell me, however, there seems to be a boy band out there and the group’s name is “The One Pumps.” These merry men tend to be men who really don’t care if a woman is satisfied or not. It’s all about them ejaculating as quickly as possible.

Now there are guys who actually suffer from a disease called premature ejaculation. So before all of you get your panties in a knot, I will excuse those of you who suffer from this ailment.

As for the rest of you who are members of the group called “The One Pumps,” you have no excuses. There is a reason why when you’re in a relationship that you have to beg for sex. What woman wants a man who basically slides home, dusts off his pants, and then heads toward the dugout while high-fiveing his buddies . . . all in the span of about thirteen seconds.

Let me also tell you a little thing about sex. Powerful men who can satisfy a woman always get the best blow jobs, because women LOVE to please a powerful man who pleases them. If you are a member of the band called “The One Pumps,” she’s really had enough of you.

So if this is who you are in bed, isn’t it time you understood the art of totally turning a woman on so that you in turn will get some of the most amazing head you’ve ever gotten and will have her begging you for a lot more pumping? I go over all of this in detail in Part VII of my Men’s Audio Mastery Series, and tell you how to be an amazing lover who will leave her begging for sex every time.

So c’mon ladies . . . Let’s teach the men a lesson here. Let’s talk about some of your one pump experiences.

We’re not talking about how you put gas in your car at the pump . . . we’re talking about the ‘oops man’ with his favorite line “Oops! This has never happened to me before!” Guys, they’re not buying it, so you better buy something. You better find a way to become a better lover.

You’ve been dreaming of this night for most of your adult life. It seems like it’s every man’s ultimate sexual fantasy: meeting the woman cool enough to want to invite a friend over for a three-way.

You’ve heard rumors about the three-way. You’ve had friends who have experienced it, and they all tell you it’s like living your own private porn.

What people fail to talk about when it comes to a three-way, however, is the emotional repercussions that occur the day after a three-way. Welcome to a really tough time in your adult adolescence.

In order to make a three-way successful and make it work, you need to realize that this “ultimate male fantasy” has to be only about her. Let’s say your girlfriend comes to you and says, “I really want to do this because I think it will really turn me on to see you and I with my best friend.”

In that situation, you need to ask her some questions and talk to her more about it before you even consider doing it. You need to talk to her ahead of time about what the parameters will be, because if you overstep certain boundaries she has you might ruin the relationship (not only with her but also between her and her friend).

A three-way always sounds good ‘on paper.’ Three-ways in fantasy land are always amazing.

Three-ways in the real world are very emotionally confusing, especially if you get so turned on that can’t keep your hands off the friend (and end up ignoring your girlfriend). That does happen.

It happens because as men, we are wired to always want the new. Take a man to a car dealership for two hours, and watch him test-drive four different cars for two straight hours. The man will leave with a car. Why? Because we always want bigger, better and more fun.

Put a hot woman that your girlfriend brings over in front of you, and no matter what the boundaries are — whether it’s no penetration or not — and you are going to spend more time on the friend (because she is the “new one”). You’ve already had the old one plenty of times. That toy is getting old for you now.

A three-way is a male fantasy, but be sure to realize that it has to be all about her and be done according to her rules and parameters. So whatever your girlfriend says, you need to respect.

It’s fun to have a wild and crazy woman in bed. It’s a lot of fun to be with a woman who likes a lot of sexual exploration. You don’t want to ruin that just because you think the three-way is supposed to be a certain way.

Allow it to be however it’s going to be, and remember one thing which is the most important advice I can give you: Make it about her and her pleasure, and it’s amazing how far you can stretch those boundaries.

You tell them that it’s the best sex of your life. She’s nurturing, loving and amazing.

Alright, maybe she loses it once in a while. Maybe when she drinks she has multiple personalities — not just one, but three or four. Maybe she’s just a little rambunctious and a little embarrassing at some of your office parties.

That’s all okay, though, because you wake up every Saturday morning and she does things sexually that no one else has ever done before. She wears skimpy little outfits around the house all the time. If you have a rough day, she completely caters to you.

Then one time you disagree with her and have a little bit of an argument in which you contradict yourself about something. So she decides to sneak into your emails and reads them. When you catch her, she tells you she won’t do it again and that she’ll “be a good girl” from now on. She even uses that terminology to make you feel like you’re the daddy — the man in control — and will say to you in a baby voice “Oh baby, I’ll never snoop again. This is the first time I ever snooped.”

I have heard that from these crazy women. The first time you’ve ever stooped? You’re 32 years old, and you just decided today for the first time that you were going to snoop?

These crazy women will lie. They’re never quite sure where they were during the day when you ask them. They manipulate.

If you don’t have enough sex with them, they will give you a play-by-play report of what they did that afternoon with their vibrator. You think it’s so cool. So you decide that you’re going to break the “man law” and date this woman.

The “man law” is that you have sex with the crazies and marry the great ones. You don’t marry the crazy ones, because that crazy woman is going to turn into the crazy mother of your children one day.

Despite the “man law,” you make the decision to date her because the sex is so addicting. It’s great getting hot text messages in the middle of the day when she decides to masturbate in her office while everyone was there.

You love this stuff. She’s crazy, she’s wild, she’s fun, but she’s insane. It’s probably like marrying Lindsay Lohan. You don’t marry these women though.

So now your best friend has come to you and told you not to do it. Don’t date this woman any more. Let me tell you what to do in this situation.

The crazy ones only get crazier with age. They don’t get more mellow. Your life will be a life of great sex, but emotional instability.

Just wait until she’s pregnant for nine months, and all the hormones are kicking in. Let me tell you, even the sane ones are insane when they’re pregnant. Wait until she feels fat after pregnancy and you make one comment asking her if she is going to lose the weight. See what happens then.

The crazy ones are great to have sex with, but don’t marry them. It’s almost like when you’re playing monopoly. You don’t want that get out of jail free card with the crazy ones, you want to stay in jail.

Enjoy the sex, but think to yourself, “How stable is this woman going to be with the kids? How stable is she going to be once I move my way up the corporate ladder and we actually win the trip to Hawaii? Do I really want my wife to be topless at the company pool? Do I want her hitting on the other women at the office party?”

It might be hot right now that she’s willing to do all these crazy things, including having her best friend over for a three-way. The problem is that if you marry this crazy woman you might lose out on a lot of other things in life — sanity, promotions and stability.

Take some advice from a friend of mine who once married one of these crazy women. You can’t just them — 50% of what you own (and then some) will be in their pocket. Crazy women are irrational, and if you try to divorce them they get even and they’ll take you for everything you’re worth.

Welcome to your life — the one where you need to choose between being with the sexual dynamo who is a crazy woman, and going out to find one who is just a little more mellow and a little more sane.

I just think the first kiss on the first date is overrated. Technically you are total strangers. You sat across from each other at a table somewhere, or maybe you took a walk in the park, or you spent a couple hours talking . . . and then what? You need to seal it with a kiss?

I don’t think the first kiss is important on the first date. What’s important on the first date is the recap in your mind after you leave them. Let me ask you a few questions. When you go home and you do the post-date recap:

How do you feel?
What are you thinking about?
What did you think about this person and their lifestyle?
What did you think about some of the stories they were sharing?
Were there any warning signs?
Was there anything they said that really made you nervous?
Is there anything you want to do with them the next time you see them?
Can you imagine sharing one of their adventures that they described?

First Date Kiss

Another step in evaluating the first date occurs when you wake up the next morning. When you wake up:

Did you think about the person?
Are you still excited the next morning that you met that person?
While you’re kind of hanging out and going to work the next day, did you have a smile on your face that you met someone really cool the night before?

There’s a lot of pressure about the first kiss at the end of the first date. The first kiss at the end of the first date also does not necessarily mean that you’re going to end up seeing the person again. It could just be that you felt like you had to kiss them just because it was the end of the date.

I feel kissing at the end of the first date is so predictable. Not kissing a woman at the end of the first date is the opposite . . . it just shows a sense of patience. It’s also really nice to get a hug at the end of the first date, because really you’re both nervous at the end of the first date. She’s wondering if you are going to kiss her. You’re wondering if you should kiss her. So, why bother?

A lot of times there’s not even a lot of passion in that first date first kiss. It’s a nervous, windshield wiper kiss. Your tongues do a little dance in each other’s mouth. Neither one of your hands are moving anywhere. It’s kind of like your first dance in high school.

So let’s get rid of the misconception about the first date first kiss. What’s more important is the follow-up phone call, or asking them out during the first date for another date. Those are signs of real interest. Real interest is also calling them the next day, seeing what they’re up to, and getting together with them soon so you can keep the momentum going. This will make the first kiss a real first kiss.

So here’s a question for all of you: Do you like to hug, or do you need that first kiss for confirmation at the end of the first date? Do you desire a nervous windshield wiper kiss . . . or a passionate second day after kiss?

So lets talk today about leaning.

Have you ever been to a party where the music is so loud that you can’t even hear yourself talk, and you wonder “How do I talk to somebody when everything is so loud? Do I scream at them, or do I just stand there in the corner and not say a word? What do I do in this situation?”

It’s very simple. Use the power of “the lean-in.”

When talking to a woman at a party or a loud bar, lean in, touch her shoulder very gently, and then speak into her ear so she can hear you. Then pull back. Now you allow her to do the same thing. If she follows your lead, then attraction is going to start to build.

So keep the process of a lean-in going. By leaning in directly into someone’s ear, you’re creating sexual tension. The ear is extremely sensual.

Have you ever kissed a woman’s ear and watched her squirm? While having sex, have you ever looked directly in her eyes during that intense moment, kissed her, then whispered in her ear exactly what you want to do to her? No wonder at that moment she starts to climax like a maniac.

You can create that moment right from the beginning. Everything in life is about the subconscious.

Recently I was at a party where the music was so loud that I couldn’t hear what I was thinking. I walked over to this woman in the corner who had been staring at me, and I used the lean-in. Every time I did it, I would pull back afterwards. Every time she did it to me, she was either touching her hair or touching her stomach. She probably didn’t realize she was doing this. She was touching herself without probably realizing because words in her ear brought her back to some intimate moment in her subconscious mind.

It’s really not hard turning someone on . . . it’s just understanding how people are wired. The power of the lean-in is such a powerful connection between two people. You’re creating intimacy without having to say it.

A lot of men think that they have to whisper in a woman’s ear things like “I want to do you tonight” or “I want to lick you from head to toe like a popsicle at Coney Island.” In truth, just talking to a woman (i.e., having an interesting conversation and paying attention to what she’s saying), then speaking those words in her ear, will create powerful sexual tension without having to say anything cheesy.

The next time you’re at a party or a bar and a woman is checking you out, walk over to her with confidence, lean in, and speak right into her ear. Don’t scream in her ear and break her eardrum . . . just talk. The confident man – the ones who have adapted all the principles that I speak about in all my programs – will know exactly what to do at this point.

Turning a woman on is as simple as knowing trigger points. The lean-in is a powerful trigger point in creating sexual chemistry. Oh, and by the way ladies, use the lean-in on men and it works the same way.

I’ve spent my whole life learning to understand human behavior. The lean-in technique is one of my favorites. Lean in, listen, pull back, and watch their reaction! You’re in for some serious sexual tension.

The question is, do you know what to do next? We’ll talk about that another day. By the way, for those of you who want to see some good examples of this, rent “Oceans 11” and watch George Clooney use the lean-in.