Sonja and I were making pancakes the other day, talking and reminiscing about the good old days — the good old sex days. I thought about how many erections I used to get in a 24 hour period, and how I needed to have sex.
I don’t know how pancakes and sex ever came into the conversation, but I was laughing. I remember from about age 18 to age 23, it wasn’t having sex once a day. It was more like do it now, then do it again in twenty minutes . . . then do it again in another twenty minutes.
I remember by the fourth time screwing in a day, I was basically pounding for forty minutes. I felt so good to be able to say that I could f^*k for forty straight minutes.
The poor girl would be laying there screaming and yelling. I of course thought screaming and yelling was from pleasure. The screaming and yelling was because she was getting so raw. Forty minutes is a long time for anybody.
Four times in a row, and that’s 160 minutes of screwing. I mean, the poor woman was moaning and groaning — yes out of pleasure part of the time, but mostly out of pure pain because she was getting wet and dry and wet and dry. I would just keep going and going and going like the young testosterone filled man that I was.
Let’s practice quality over quantity when it comes down to sex. Let’s do it in all areas of our lives. Quality over quantity is much better.
So if you’re going to have sex, make sure it’s the best sex session you can have. Have some good foreplay.
If you’re a guy, make sure you get her to cum first. That way, she’s more sensitive when you go in there and you are able to also give her a g-spot orgasm.
If you’re a woman, make sure you spend some quality time giving him some foreplay as well. Tease him sufficiently, so that when he does have sex with you he’s all ready to go.
Start having fun together. Even a quickie can be quality.
Back them, a quickie was doing it then twenty minutes later doing it quickly again. It’s not a double quickie. It’s called a quickie for a reason.
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We don’t talk about one-night stands that often. Let’s talk about them from the women’s side today.
When it comes to one-night stands for women, I say go for it! Go have a one-night stand.
They’re amazing for your sexuality. They’ll make you feel free. You’ll have a blast, and I want you to do it with no guilt.
If you choose to have a one-night stand, just pick a guy and have fun. Don’t judge yourself. Don’t allow your friends to judge you.
Sex is something about which we need to be free and open. We need to stop judging ourselves, and start experiencing ourselves.
To the men, if you have a one-night stand with a woman — if she allows you to have a one-night stand with her — don’t judge her. Just thank her for sharing an amazing night with you.
Give her the option of whether or not to do it again with you. If she chooses you to have a one-night stand, just say “That was a great night. I don’t know if you want to move forward and do this again, but I’d like to.” If she declines, thank her for a great night and make her feel wonderful.
So, if you have a one-night stand with somebody, let the other person feel great about it. They chose you for that one-night stand because they thought you weren’t going to be an asshole at the end of it.
The next time you have a one-night stand, thank the person for a wonderful evening. You never know. You might get another one-night stand with that person a few days later.
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The other day Sonja and I were walking around, and I saw this really cute cat. I was at the foot of the driveway, and the cat was at the back of the driveway.
Sonja looked at me and said, “Oh my God, a Siamese cat. I love them!” I said, “Me too.”
So we both got down on the ground and looked into each other’s eyes. We had that really great gaze that only lovers can have.
All of a sudden, we got involved in this heavy petting session — right there at the end of the driveway. It was really heavy petting.
That cat kept pushing up against us really hard as we were petting it. It kept raising its ass up in the air because it was loving the heavy petting so much. It kept banging its head against us, to encourage us to continue the heavy petting.
When we left, we were hoping the cat wouldn’t follow us since we had to cross the street. I know after an intense heavy petting session, cats tend to follow you because they are so satisfied.
So why this whole cat story? Well it was inspired by an email I just received.
The email said, “I met up and took a trip with a guy. At the end of the trip, we kissed and had some heavy petting, but no sex. Then he went back to his country. . .”
Heavy petting? Really?
Are we rubbing each other’s heads like cats? Are we touching each other on that certain spot above the ass, resulting in us sticking our butts up in the air? Are we getting down on all fours and saying stupid things to one another so that the other person will touch us with heavier hands?
Heavy petting just sounds so hot. “God, Sonja and I made out the other night. It was so hot. Then, all of the sudden, we were heavy petting . . . ” Come on now.
Heavy petting is the weirdest term in the world. Who came up with that term?
What ever happened to the term “fooling around?” How about saying that you were caressing each other’s bodies? How about saying that you were sexually touching each other? How about just saying kissing and some great foreplay?
When did we become animals? When did “heavy petting” become a term in our common vocabulary? Let’s talk about that today.
In the meantime, I have to go because my girl is looking at me right now wagging her tail and I need to take her for a walk. Wait, actually I am going to do some heavy petting on Daphne my dog, so that she will be extra satisfied when she pees.
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I really thought this was a great subject, and one I haven’t tackled in a long time. Here is an email I just received from a woman:
“Dear David,
My self-confidence is really a problem. I’m 42 years old, never married, and very inexperienced with sex. Other stuff not a problem. I’ve had long relationships in my past and those guys were okay with it. Plus, I was younger and many of those guys were not interested in becoming fathers then either.
I made a choice to not risk an unwanted pregnancy in my 20s and 30s in conjunction with my personal beliefs and values. When guys did try to have sex with me, it was not in the context of a relationship. I had reached a point where I just wanted to know what it was like, and I’m sure I did not learn a lot from that.
While I’m not worried about it now as I have no intention of sleeping with someone just to enjoy dating, I want to know a man’s take on discovering this about a woman, especially later in life.
Anonymous”
This email at first kind of threw me. There are so many different religious beliefs about sexual intercourse, and I think they are very very antiquated. I really do.
I think sex is a wonderful thing. I think sex between two consenting adults is a wonderful thing. There are so many kinds of birth control out there nowadays that you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant.
I really truly believe that sexual experience is just a great thing to have, and that it’s great to explore and learn about your own sexuality. This woman is 42 years old, and she’s missed a lot of years of great sex due to her personal beliefs.
My advice to this woman, and to anybody in a similar situation and point in their life, is to really just explore sex and enjoy it. Tell men that you’re inexperienced, but that you’re willing to learn. Be open to the experience.
If I was with a woman who said she was very sexually inexperienced, I wouldn’t judge her at all. I would just enjoy it, teach her and explore her sexuality with her.
So if you truly want to learn about men and how to have great sex, this is how you do it. You need to just be honest with them. If you’re honest, then things will be great.
This is a really interesting topic. Guys, what are your thoughts on this? Have you known women who are really sexually inexperienced?
To the women, have any of you waited your whole life for the right man to come along, he hasn’t shown up, and now you’re in your 40′s with little or no sexual experience? What do you do about this situation?
I would love to hear from all of you on this.
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Have you guys heard the famous quote of mine that’s been circulating all over the Internet? That quote is, “An orgasm a day keeps the Tyson away.” (Yes, I mean Mike Tyson)
It’s amazing what a good orgasm will do. I’m not talking about self-administered orgasms.
To tell you the truth, those kind of orgasms are lame. They really are.
It doesn’t take much skill to plug a vibrator into the wall, put it on your clit and fifteen seconds later scream “Ohhhhhh!” as you come. Bravo! Let me give you a standing ovation. Also, to the men out there who are beating off in the middle of the day over the sink with hand lotion they stole from their grandmother, I say get real!
Those are not the kind of orgasms I am talking about here. What I am talking about is the sex you have in a relationship that makes the fights go away.
Now, I’m also not talking about taking off your clothes, humping and getting each other off (basically masturbating inside each other). That is not what sex is all about.
Granted, I’ve had relationships in which the sex was really just about masturbating inside each other. I’m sure all of you have.
What I am talking about here is being connected to each other’s needs, wants and desires leading up to sex. That means tuning in to how your lover needs to be taken.
Are you someone who just needs to be thrown down on the ground in a testosterone-driven rage and be taken while they look in your eyes? Are you someone who needs verbal foreplay? Whatever it is, we are all very different sexually.
We all love the act itself. Who doesn’t love the warmth and the moisture and the heat of that whole experience?
I remember when I was a baby what my first words were to my Mother. I said, “Wow, it’s so warm in your amniotic sac.”
When I slid my way out, I couldn’t wait to get back in. It took me eighteen and a half years to get back inside.
The bottom line here is to know how you are wired sexually. What do you need the most in your lover? This is something I want all of you to think about today.
Do you need someone to seduce you? Do you need someone who will look in your eyes and talk dirty to you in order to turn you on?
Are you someone who likes to get raw and dirty, and just be taken? You want to have dinner, go home and have your lover f*^k the shit out you?
Write down whatever it is that you want and need. This is very important and something that a lot of people overlook.
Like your good friend Dr. David says, “an orgasm a day keeps the Tyson away.” It keeps the fighting away.
The only issue, and what’s important, is how we get to that orgasm. You may not be aligned with somebody sexually; they may be a totally different sexual type than you are. In that situation you might be having great sex, but it doesn’t mean you are being fulfilled.
So it’s really important before you get into a relationship (or even if you’re in one already), that you are straight about who you are sexually. Be honest about who you are and what you want. This is so important because once you start having sex with someone, it’s very hard (no pun intended) to make changes.
See everyone tomorrow!
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