I woke up this morning and realized that I am perfect. Okay, before you think think that I woke up with a very large ego, you are way off base.
I realized that I am perfect (6-0) picking football games this year, and I am so ready to put out this week’s picks and to keep that perfect record intact. Some of the NFL’s 3-0 teams will not be unbeaten after this week, but I will remain unbeaten with my picks for this week.
So for this week, I like the Houston Texans and the New York Giants to win. The Tennessee Titans will will their first one. The San Francisco 49ers will rebound. The Cincinnati Bengals will crush the self-proclaimed genius Mangenius, who could go down in history as the dumbest coach ever to coach in the NFL. My last pick is that Favre will get redemption this week.
Now onto today’s blog…
Good boy! Good boy! What a good boy!
You cleaned the house! Good boy! You look good tonight for my parents. Good boy! Wow, you picked up the kids today! Good boy!
If you guys are thinking that I am possibly a dog that drives or a dog that puts on a new collar for the parents, you are absolutely wrong!
I am talking about the way that men like to be praised. I am talking about the way men need to be praised.
It is so funny with men (and I’m making fun of my own gender, so I can). We are really very simple-minded at times.
What does every man want to hear from his woman after sex? He wants to hear, “Baby, that was the greatest thing I’ve ever felt. You are such an amazing lover!”
When he gets dressed, every man wants to hear that he looks good. He wants his ego stroked a little bit by hearing something like, “Wow, you look so hot today!”
Every man who does a task around the house wants to be patted on the back. He wants to hear what a great job he did. He wants to hear, “It was so great that you took the garbage out today. You are amazing!”
It is amazing how simple it is to please a man. It really is.
You won’t believe how long we stick around if we know that we are your best lover, or that we give you the best advice advice, or that we look good and you find us super-sexy. We are actually a lot like dogs.
Like dogs, we need to be fed. They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but I that a way to a man’s heart is really through his emotional stomach.
It’s funny. Women ask me all the time, “I just can’t seem to keep a man happy. Why?” Really? We have a manual that comes with us. It is only one page long. You just have to read it.
The women’s manual is more like one hundred pages long. You have emotions all the time. If you are PMSing, we can’t say certain things (or you take things differently). If we tease you during PMS, you freak out. If we say the wrong thing, you freak out.
When you tell us what you’re feeling during those times, we get defensive because we don’t understand things we don’t experience. As men, our manual is a whole lot shorter.
So, women, just think of us as giant, overgrown Scooby-Doos. Remember to tell us “Good Boy!” the next time a man does something (and the next time you want him to do something).
Be very specific when you’re talking to a man or when you want to talk to a man. You can’t just say, “Hey Babe, my parents are coming by tonight. Can you straighten the house up?”
You say that, and we’ll just find the obvious things. We will go to the sink, find the biggest bowl and put it in the dishwasher. If the toilet seat is up, we’ll put it down.
With men you need to be very specific in your instructions. Tell him, “Hey Babe, my parents are coming. Can you straighten up the kitchen, fluff the pillows and make the bed?”
Then, when you get home, don’t forget to praise us. Don’t forget to tell us, “You did a good job. Good boy!”
If you are all looking for some extra motivation today, check out what this master motivator has to say:
Have you all met the country’s newest and hottest handicapper in football? Fresh off my Lions pick, I am now 6-0 on the season. So stay tuned for next week’s picks.
Now on today’s non-football related topic…
Let’s talk about relationships and, specifically, about being stubborn in a relationship. Let’s talk about giving in when you’re in a relationship.
When you’re in a relationship, you will have arguments. You will sometimes argue about something even when you know the other person has a valid point. Your ego wants to “win” and be right, so you’ll get into an argument instead of really thinking about what the other person was saying.
During every argument, there will come a time when someone needs to give in . . . but it seems like everyone always wants the other person to be the one to do it.
Each person will think, “I don’t want to hug them first” or “I don’t want to make the first move.”
How many nights when you’re in a relationship has your bed felt like it has an imaginary dividing line down the middle? You might accidentally touch knees or ankles in the middle of the night, and you jump because you don’t want to make the first move.
I mean, it’s crazy how many people are stubborn. I, myself, am very stubborn. I hate apologizing. I have always hated apologizing.
I have always hated making the first move. My mindset was always, “Why should I make the first move. They are the ones who brought the issue up.” The fact of the matter is that relationships tend to get very sour very quickly if both of you are being stubborn.
How many nights do you want to sleep on opposite ends of the bed? How many nights do you want to look at your lover and realize that what you’re fighting about is really ridiculous?
Saying you are sorry is really easy. Saying you are sorry and really meaning it is sometimes harder. So I think you need to really realize what your arguments are really about in your relationship, and start to see that it’s really not worth it 90% of the time.
Check out this great new in field approach video we shot last week. Its all about how to approach a group of women,
Yesterday’s topic was definitely controversial. About yesterday’s topic, I think that when you’re in a relationship there will be less chance of you seeking out opposite sex friends if you can let go sexually.
Now when I say “let go,” I am talking about you being able to be open about your needs, asking for what you want, and being that crazy person in bed you’ve always wanted to be. This goes right into today’s blog topic.
So let’s get right into this topic and see if we can get the controversy going again…
I was thinking today about sex. It’s not like I don’t ever think about sex. I actually enjoy thinking about sex. There was one thing I was thinking about that was really interesting.
I want you to ask yourself this question: In your sex life, how easy is it for you to let go?
When your lover goes down on you, how is easy is it for you to let go? How easy is it for you to totally give into them, and to let them do whatever they want?
Can you just “go with it” and really just enjoy it? Can you accept that they get pleasure and enjoyment from bringing intense pleasure to your body? Are you able to do these things?
You know what’s funny, is that so many of us (men included) have trouble having an orgasm from oral sex. It’s true. There are men out there that just will not cum from a blow job.
I think it’s all about self-control. Think about it.
If you know how to please your lover, you should really be pleasing your lover on a regular basis. I mean, who doesn’t want to be pleased? Who doesn’t want to experience the beauty of an orgasm (and the beauty of an orgasm from your lover’s mouth)?
So if you’re having trouble climaxing with your partner, you need to think about the reason why that is so. What do you think about when your partner goes down on you?
Are you releasing everything? Are you holding anything back? Are you in control of yourself? Are you over-thinking it or do you just go with it?
In order to really be able to orgasm with your partner — especially during oral sex — you really need to be able to totally let go. If it takes an extra ten minutes one night, who cares? If it take an hour to cum and you’re enjoying it, who cares?
It’s all about having that intimacy, and the greatest thing about intimacy is letting go. Each day you can get more intimate with your partner. You can get more intimate in every way.
So why hold back? There is no reason to ever hold back sexually from your partner. It’s a lesson that I think all of us need to learn.
Before we get to today’s blog (which, by the way, is going to be hilarious) about everybody Facebook fighting, I have to ask. Do you remember that song?
Everybody Is Kung Fu Fighting.
Those cats were fast as lightning…
So, now you guys realize that not only do I give masterful dating advice, but I’m 3-0 on my football picks so far. I told you the Saints were going to beat the Lions. I told you the Jets were going to beat the Patriots. I also told you the Colts would squeak by the Dolphins last night.
Not only am I going to find you your next relationship and get you laid on your next date, but I’m actually going to put money into your pockets. I’m 3-0 already, so check back on Friday for my next pick…
Let’s talk today about Facebook fighting. How many of you are on Facebook?
For those of you who are, be sure to add me as a friend. I love seeing what my readers are up to in their life.
Today we’re going to talk about another phenomenon: Facebook fighting. Sing along to that tune with these words:
Everybody was Facebook fighting.
Those words are fast as lightening
Whenever you add a new friend of the opposite sex
You’re going to start brawling…
A friend of mine emailed me yesterday to say he and his girlfriend were fighting. Apparently his girlfriend saw that he added a friend on Facebook who was female, she wondered ‘who is this woman,’ and it caused a big fight. His girlfriend thought it was some girl he had the hots for that he added as a friend.
C’mon! Look at almost anyone’s Facebook friends. There is usually about 500 of them, and people usually only actually communicate with about one percent of those people.
I have thousands of friends on Facebook, but I couldn’t tell you about even one hundred of them. I know that Jim Almond had trouble chewing some nuts yesterday and was choking. I know someone else had hemorrhoids and decided to share that with everyone on Facebook.
I know yet another person (who supposedly is my friend) is having trouble with insomnia and wants to know how to get rid of it. I can tell him how to get rid of it. Get off Facebook late at night!
Really, though, so many people are Facebook fighting just like my friend emailed to me about what happened with his girlfriend. I mean, some new girl befriended him and his girlfriend thought he was having an affair.
People are changing their relationship status on a daily basis on Facebook. How many times do you look at someone’s page and see their relationship status listed as “It’s complicated?” Sure, it’s complicated, but do you need to tell the whole world?
Some things are private. Why do you need to announce to the whole world that you’re having problems in your relationship?
I love when people say on Facebook that they’re single again. Now that’s marketing. What a great place to date.
Facebook actually is a great place to date. Do you know why?
People put up their real picture (unlike on match.com), not their fantasy picture of how they looked ten years ago or their “body-less picture” with just their head showing. People actually put up their real photos because they think their friends are the only ones looking at them.
People don’t like a cheesy dating profile like they see so often on match.com. Facebook is also great because people tell you their real age and what they really do for a living. It seems like everyone on match.com is 29 or 39 years old, in great shape and wealthy.
On Facebook you get the truth. It’s a much better place to date because it’s not meant for dating (or is it?). People are Facebook fighting, but they’re also Facebook dating.
So, really, you should not air your dirty laundry on the Internet. No one should fight on the Internet.
I’ve heard of people breaking up on Facebook. Someone will go to their significant other’s page and all of a sudden discover they’ve been de-friended and blocked.
The Internet is wonderful and social networking sites like Facebook are wonderful for reconnecting and finding old friends. They should, however, never be used for airing your dirty laundry.
If you are Facebook fighting — and for those of you who don’t have the tune in your head already — check out this video and fight out why everyone used to be Kung Fu Fighting and are now Facebook fighting.
If you really want to see what Facebook can do to relationships check out this funny video.
Are you dating somebody you really like, or are you dating someone because you’re afraid that you will never meet anybody better? Are you just compromising?
For those of you who missed my podcast about the “it” factor, I talked all about how important it is to find someone about whom you’re really excited. You want that “Tom cruise jumping on the couch” feeling about the person you’re dating.
Sure, we all made fun of it, but who wouldn’t want to jump up and down on their own couch? We’re probably not famous enough to jump on Oprah’s couch, but wouldn’t you like to be so excited by someone that it made you want to jump up and down like that?
Don’t you want to feel so excited about somebody that you’re just about to burst?
Dating should feel like that.
Are you dating someone about whom you’re excited, or are you dating someone just for the sake of dating? That means that you’re in this relationship because you want a relationship, but you’re still looking around for something better.
How many of you are spending time with somebody that you’re really not all that into, and with whom you just kind of pass the time, because you’re too afraid to go out and find somebody else?
That’s a big issue for a lot of people. So many guys will come to me and say, “David, I’m seeing somebody, but I’m just not really that excited about her.” I’ll ask these guys how long they’ve been dating this person, and they’ll say, “Two years.” What?!?
Two years is a long time to waste on somebody about whom you’re not excited. You want to be excited and crazy about somebody. You want to be able to look at somebody and feel like they are the greatest person in the entire world.
For those of you who are in relationships like this, know that you are just wasting your time. Why are you so afraid?
What are your biggest fears? Where is your mindset? Share with me today.
I’m always willing to share with you guys how I feel. Today I want to hear from you. I want to know why you have done this in your past.
I want you to be really excited about the person you’re dating and not just compromise so you can be in a relationship. Compromising in life means that you are not fully embracing your life.
If you’re not fully embracing your life right now, for what are you waiting? Tomorrow you might get hit by a bus. I know we always say that, but it’s true. I know for some of you that that doesn’t really resonate, because you don’t really live by any buses, but just think about it. You could get hit by lightning. Anything could happen.
A friend of mine lost his life when he was 25 years old because he was riding a bike in Italy, and he didn’t realize that the road turned. He was going too fast and he went over the side of a mountain. I could just not believe it when I heard what had happened to him.
You just never know when this journey is going to end. So why are you compromising so much in every aspect of your life?
How many of you are happy at your job? How many of you are compromising about your career?
How many of you are in relationships where you are compromising, and why are you doing it?
Why are you making compromises instead of just going for it in your life?
Public displays of affection (”PDA”) are one of my favorite things in the world. If you have chemistry with a person, why should you keep your hands off them?
I’m not talking about you gyrating each other in public, making out, or making out in the middle of the supermarket. Have you ever been in a car with a friend and he has his hand down his girlfriend’s pants? Does he think no one notices? Some people think they’re so good at PDA, that they can keep their right hand on their girlfriend and shift with their left hand.
Why not, though, hold someone’s hand, put your arm around them, whisper something in their ear, or give them a kiss. I’m all for that.
In supermarkets, it’s great. Sometimes, I’ll walk through the market with my arm around my girlfriend. I’ll give her a nice little kiss on the lips and, you know what, I don’t care what other people think. People who make determinations like that are basically jealous.
They’re jealous because they don’t have that in their lives. Now, granted, I’m not going to grope her. I’m not going to touch her private parts in the market, nor am I going to try to hump her in the middle of the supermarket.
As for bars, I believe anything goes when there’s alcohol in there. People can go and they can gyrate, hump each other, and makeout like crazy. That’s a bar atmosphere.
Now there are times and places where PDA isn’t so appropriate. If you are with a friend and they feel like the third wheel, I think you need to limit your PDA to holding hands, putting your arm around them and giving them an occasional tongueless kiss.
Any more than that, and you will make your friend really feel uncomfortable. You will also make them your friend think how much they don’t what you have.
I find that people who are judgmental about PDA to be jealous. I find that the jealous people need more love and affection in their life. These are the type of people who actually need PDA the most.
I’m all for PDA. If you’re a couple who have great chemistry and can’t keep your hands off each other, who doesn’t want that? That’s the kind of relationship for which we’re all looking. That’s what love is really all about. That’s what life is all about.
In order to have a chance at some serious PDA, today we dive into something all men need to learn.
Have you ever met someone who absolutely blows you away in every way? When you meet them, you know there’s something different about them . . . even if you can’t put your finger on exactly what it is.
Love At First Sight!
You don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it or talking about it. You’re not really going to talk about it with them, because you don’t know what they’re feeling. You don’t really spend time talking about it with other people, because you don’t really know what you’re thinking. It just doesn’t make much sense, except that you know you are supposed to be with that person.
I’ve heard so many people describe the time they met their husband or wife, and have said they knew that person was “the one” the second that person walked in the room. I’ve had people say to me things like this all the time: “David, I just knew. I just knew when they walked in the room. I don’t know if it was the way they smiled or the way they talked, but I just knew.”
Have you ever held someone so close at that that you feel like you want to jump inside their body and inside their soul? Do you ever feel your soul communicating with somebody else? You’re just laying there next to them, and you feel yourself talking to each other without saying a word.
It doesn’t take words sometimes to describe what you really feel, because sometimes in life words just can’t adequately describe it. Words can’t fully describe what you’re really thinking, what your emotions are and what you’re feeling.
Have you ever met someone of whom you just can’t get enough? Time just flies by every time you’re with them. When you meet them, you want to remember everything they say. You want to show them your life. You want to remember everything that happens between the two of you, because you know everything that’s happening is a memory you are going to want to be able to talk about in the future.
Have you ever had that amazing feeling all over that you just can’t put into words? It’s almost an overwhelming emotion.
Have you ever been able to look at someone and know exactly what they’re feeling at all times because they communicate it with their eyes? Sometimes words are overused.
I can tell you one thing for sure. When you find someone for whom you have these kind of feelings, you’ve got to go with it because there’s not too many times that it’s going to happen to you in your life. When you’ve found this person, you just know in your heart that you’ve found something magical.
