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Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category |
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Friday, January 29th, 2010
We’re all flawed. Every one of us is flawed.
If you are talking to someone you trust, honor and love and they tell you that your actions cause them pain and to feel things they never wanted to feel, do you defend those actions? Would you really listen?
In life, our ego is constantly protecting us. So many of you know that you are not good at meeting the opposite sex, but yet you always let your ego protect you.
Your ego will tell you, “Don’t worry. You just need a lucky break. Things will change. Spring is coming…” or whatever excuses your ego will provide you. Your ego may tell you, “There’s a party next week and you will meet somebody there.”
What you don’t do is anything to change yourself, because change is the toughest thing for you. Change means that we have to drop our ego and allow it to subside.
Nobody can change anybody else. The only person you can change is yourself.
You get out of life exactly what you put into it. So if you are in a spiral of life where things don’t work for you — whether that means disagreements with your boss, disagreements with your partner or not meeting the people you want to meet — it’s happening because you can’t embrace change.
It’s happening because your ego will not allow you to embrace change. Your ego is basically protecting yourself from embracing any type of change. We are all flawed.
I can’t stand when somebody tells me that I did something that caused them pain. I’m always about protecting myself.
Maybe the way that I deal with things is not the way they want to deal with things, and it causes them pain. So we’re all flawed.
So the next time someone challenges you about changing, do you react full of ego or do you react in an open way? The person who defends themselves is the person who is reacting out of ego, because your ego is defending you at all times.
My ego will defend me until the day I die. If you allow your ego to defend you until the day you die, you’re going to die alone and not having grown.
We all do things that annoy the hell out of people — partners, business associates and friends. If someone that you love tells you that something in your actions causes them pain, don’t look at them and say “Well this is how I’ve always been and no one seems to be bothered by it.”
If you like or love that person, you are going to say, “You know what, maybe that is something I need to work on and change in myself. Maybe that is a habit of mine, or maybe that’s the way I deal with things.” It really may not be that healthy.
Popularity: 9%
Tags: advice, arguments, change, Date, dating, david wygant, ego, how to make changes, how to reach goals, relationship, relationship advice, tips
Posted in How To Be A Better Communicator, Life Style 101, Love, Mindset, Relationships | 16 Comments »
Saturday, January 9th, 2010
Let’s talk about falling in love. All of you want to fall in love. Everybody wants to fall in love.
Falling in love is great. It’s a drug.
Let me tell you something. There is nothing greater than falling in love.
Close your eyes and remember the first time you fell in love. Remember your first love. Remember your high school or college love. Maybe you just recently fell in love with someone. It’s like you’re capturing that essence.
The feeling of love actually is kind of a drug. There are hormones – like Dopamine — which actually are produced in our bodies which give us that feeling.
Anyway, falling in love is such an amazing process. It really is. To look at someone and know absolutely that you love them is amazing.
Here’s something that is interesting about falling in love. Falling in love is really peeling a layer from yourself every single day and giving it to another person.
There is one thing about falling in love, however, about which most people don’t talk. While falling in love with someone is incredible, you should always be falling in love with two people.
The other person with whom you should be falling in love is yourself. Every day, you should be falling more in love with yourself.
You should be doing this whether you are in a relationship or whether you are single. Let’s say you are single right now and you’re searching for someone.
If that is the case, I have but one question for you (and it’s not about how many people you went out and talked to today). My question to you is this: Did you fall more in love with yourself today than you did yesterday?
Every day you should accept yourself more. Every day you should work on yourself. Every day you should realize more who who you are as a person.
Every day you embrace yourself is another day that you’re falling more in love with yourself. This is so important, because the more you fall in love with yourself the more someone else can fall in love with you.
Love is a selfless thing. Opening up and expressing love to somebody is a selfless thing.
Let me show you how this all fits into a relationship with another person. Let’s say you are a mushy person who likes to say “I love you” every five seconds to your partner, and expresses yourself by writing poetry and little Post-It® love notes all over the house.
Then suppose that your partner is someone who is just not a “Post-It® note” kind of person. That person loves you just as deeply, but expresses their love in a different way. The way they express love might be with a smile, in the way they hold your hand, the way they kiss or the way they say “I love you” in the morning.
If you’re a secure person and you’re falling in love with yourself, then you are going to also be a secure person when you fall in love with somebody else. The reason is that you are not going to expect to be treated the exact way you treat your partner (which will never happen). Never in life will you meet someone who is exactly like you in every way.
So think about this. When you are truly in love with yourself, you can truly love another person because you’ll expect absolutely nothing back.
When you’re not truly in love with yourself, you’re always going to be looking for confirmation. You’ll think and/or say things like, “I told you I loved you this morning. Will you tell me you love me tonight? Please do it so we can be even.”
There will be some days when you might say “I love you” to you partner thirty times, and your partner only says it to you once. This shouldn’t matter to you. If you are bursting with love and you are totally secure with yourself, then you should say “I love you” thirty times in a day if you want. If you get it back even one time, then that’s awesome. Appreciate and enjoy it!
Popularity: 10%
Tags: advice, Date, dating, david wygant, dopamine, expressing love, falling in love, how to express love, love, marriage advice, relationship advice, Relationships, saying i love you, tips
Posted in Love, Marriage, Relationships | 8 Comments »
Sunday, January 3rd, 2010
There are people who think they have the right to marry someone just for money. I am in total disagreement with that.
You’re a woman. You are 23 years old and you’re pretty. There are some of you (and I’ve met more than a few of you) who think that just because you’re young and pretty, that it’s your right to marry someone with money, kick back, spit out a few kids, spend all his money and live the life of luxury doing absolutely nothing.
I know some of you are going to get your panties in a knot when I say this, thinking “I’m the mother. I’m taking care of the kids.” The truth is, though, that is this guy was poor you wouldn’t have married him.
I don’t care if a woman wants to be a stay-at-home mom. If she marries out of love and has kids out of love, then that’s wonderful.
The women who marry men just because they have money, however, I find absolutely disgraceful. There is no right to someone else’s money.
A man works his whole life for his money, and you decide you are just going to ‘marry into it?’ You decide it’s just going to all be yours?
By the way, this is not just a “woman thing” either. In this day and age, it is also very much a “guy thing” too. There are plenty of men who marry women just for their money, and it is equally as disgusting when it’s a man doing it as when a woman does it.
No matter what gender you are, you have no right to do this. A lot of these people think they deserve the money and the life of luxury that goes with it.
If you don’t work hard, then you don’t really deserve a life of luxury. I’m sorry, but you really don’t.
You do not deserve a life of luxury just because you have sex with someone or because you can look good on someone’s arm. Those things don’t entitle you to that life of luxury.
I think that there are a lot of people, especially in this country, who feel it is their birthright to marry for money. The truth is, though, that it is a very lonely life.
I know people who have married for money — both here in Los Angeles and back in New York — and none of them were really attracted to their husband. None of them really ever wanted to have sex with their husbands.
Money, however, was the driving factor behind their marriages. Eventually every one of them ended up getting divorced and, once they were financially set up from the divorce, trying to find real love with other people. The problem is that you really can’t find love when you are like that, because you are really just a very one-dimensional superficial person.
So I don’t think someone who just marries for money deserves a life of luxury. Technically, you are just like a hooker.
Popularity: 9%
Tags: advice, Dating Advice, david wygant, gold digger, Marriage, marrying for money, older men with younger women, Relationships, Sex, sexy, tips, trophy wife, understanding women, xxx
Posted in Dating Etiquette, Marriage, Relationships | 17 Comments »
Thursday, December 17th, 2009
At this time of the year, you always read a story about someone who passes away too early. It is often someone who was just getting their life together and changing it for the better, when all of the sudden tragedy strikes. It seems to always be someone who just had trouble written all over them.
Today’s story is about such a person. It is about none other than Chris Henry of the Cincinnati Bengals. He is a guy who finally turned his life around, only to die on Wednesday falling out the back of a pickup truck during a domestic dispute.
Apparently he and his fiance were arguing. She jumped into the pickup. He ran after her, jumped in, fell out the side and died. He was just 26 years old, and just starting his life over again.
We read stories like this, and realize how easily it could have been us. Okay, maybe it wouldn’t likely have been any one of us falling off the back of a pickup truck, but it could have been our lives cut short in any number of other ways.
It seems like we never learn from things like this. We read these kind of stories. We feel badly about what happened. We reflect on it, but them we go right back to the “same old same old.”
There are two strong lessons to be learned here.
The first lesson is that when you’re fighting in a relationship and the other person wants to leave or be alone, respect that. So many times, people will continue a conversation and say even more hurtful things.
When we fight with our partners, it’s circular. So it’s really better to let them walk away and cool off. Nothing ever gets accomplished in the heat of an argument, except the creation of more arguments.
The second lesson is to answer the question, “What is your wakeup call?”
New Year’s Day is coming. Is that your wakeup call? Are you going to make another bullshit New Year’s resolution that you don’t have the self-discipline to implement in your life?
The only thing constant in our life is change. So why do we always fight it? Why do we always resist what is natural in evolution of life?
Why do we fight so hard when someone asks us to change our ways for the good? Why as humans are we content to sit around mired in things that don’t make us happy, and waiting for rainy days that don’t make us want to do anything?
Chris Henry was turning his life around when it was cut short. So today, think about Chris Henry and do something that takes you out of your comfort zone.
Ask out that person you’ve had a crush on for ages. Walk up to a stranger and wish them Merry Christmas (Oops, I mean Seasons Greetings).
Whatever pulls you out of your comfort zone, only you can do. Think about what would happen if you did one thing outside your comfort zone every day for thirty days.
If you did that, pretty soon those things would no longer be outside your comfort zone. They would be well inside it.
You won’t have to rely on bullshit New Year’s resolutions. You won’t even have to make any this year. It’s never too late to turn your life around and make it everything you want it to be.
So how are you going to pull yourself out of YOUR comfort zone. I want to know.
Popularity: 7%
Tags: advice, argument with girlfriend, change, changing your life, chris henry, chris henry cincinatti bengals, chris henry death, chris henry truck, comfort zone, Date, dating, david wygant, fighting in relationships, how to change your life, Mindset, new years resolution, overcoming fears, relationship advice, starting over, tips
Posted in Goals & Aspirations, Holidays / Holiday Dating, Life Style 101, Relationships | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, December 16th, 2009
Today is the day of the week we always have a podcast – it is always “podcast Wednesdays” here on the blog. We, however, have been swamped working on something of which I want to cure the world forever.
It’s called approach anxiety. It’s a made up disease based on fear and nothing else.
All of you need to be approaching each other and hooking up. The world is a much better place when we are all enjoying each other, having conversations and, of course, having sex!
Are you ready to end your approach anxiety once and for all? Are you ready to learn how to be able to communicate with anyone you see, so you will no longer be dateless and lonely?
I have just completed a product called “Become A Master Communicator” that I will be releasing publicly in a few months that shows exactly how to make all this happen. Ladies, this product will help you as well.
Even though the product won’t be available to the public for a few months, I am giving the people on my list a special *sneak peek* of this product NOW (along with a special offer as well).
If you want to get a sneak peek of this product and you’re not a member of my list, go to the top of this page and sign up in the box.
Also, because there is no podcast today on this “podcast Wednesday,” I am going to do something special for all of you next week. I am going to give you a double dose of podcasts! Yes, there will be two podcasts during next week. They are my Christmas gifts to you. Be sure to check in to catch those . . .
Now on to today’s topic that will inspire you to want to get rid of your approach anxiety and start really interacting with the opposite sex . . .
Do you know what I love about traveling? When you get into a traffic jam inside the airport.
Why are there traffic jams inside the airport? It’s because people don’t know how to drop people off. It’s really funny.
Why don’t people say their goodbyes before they get into the car to drive to the airport? So you drive twenty minutes to the airport. You have to wait until you get there to hug, kiss and say goodbye for ten times?
You could have said goodbye twenty minutes earlier and it wouldn’t have been any different. Actually, had you said goodbye at home, it could have been a much better goodbye.
You could have had a proper sendoff having wild and amazing sex. Now that is a great goodbye! It’s a lot better than standing at the airport staring at each other and hugging.
Instead of spending twenty minutes doing that, just get up twenty minutes earlier and bang your brains out before you leave. That way, you will get to the airport and drop the person off immediately, because you’re tired and you want to go home and shower.
Otherwise you are left with the traffic jam in the airport. It is caused by people who were rushing all day long to get to the airport who, once they arrive there, will decide that they need to spend five or ten minutes on the curb saying goodbye. They think, “Even though I’m really stressed out and I need to get to my gate on time, this goodbye is so important.”
So here’s a note to all the travelers who are being dropped off by their man (or their woman). Bang your brains out early that morning! Have a great orgasm (or two or three if you can climax quickly).
Do that and the goodbye will be so much better, because all day long you’ll be thinking about that wonderful feeling you had (instead of some quick two second kiss).
Come on, tell the truth. After a kiss like that, the minute you get in the car and start sipping your coffee, you will forget all about it. Amazing morning sex you will not so quickly forget.
So that’s my new goodbye for people heading to the airport. You bang your brains out like a maniac, and then you will be totally relaxed on the plane.
You will also be relaxed when you’re sitting in traffic in the airport with all the idiots who didn’t bang their brains out before they left. You won’t even care because you’re feeling good.
If you are dropping off your mother instead of a lover, you can still do a better goodbye before you leave for the airport. You say goodbye to her twenty minutes before you have to get in the car to leave. You hold her hand the entire time.
If you are dropping your boss off at the airport, you do not bang his (or her) brains out that morning. You just high-five him (or her) and say, “Have a great trip. Get out. You’re going out of town, so I’m going to play golf and goof off for the next five days!”
Popularity: 13%
Tags: advice, airport, airport goodbye, approach anxiety, become a master communicator, christmas, climax, Date, dateless, dating, Dating Advice, david wygant, email, gift, goodbye kiss, hot sex, hug, kiss, lonely, orgasm, podcast, relationship advice, Relationships, Sex, sneak peek, tips, traffic jam
Posted in Humor & Just For Fun, Marriage, Relationships, Sex | 1 Comment »
Thursday, November 19th, 2009
I was having a conversation the other day that made me think. People always say that a good relationship should just happen. They say that a good relationship doesn’t take work and that it should just happen naturally.
Do you know what I say to that? I say that’s bullshit. A good relationship takes a lot of work. Ask any couple who have been together a long time, and they will tell you that it takes a lot of work.
It seems, though, like everybody has a negative connotation associated with the word work. The truth is that if you love the person you’re with and you love the relationship, then it doesn’t feel like work.
Every day when I wake up, I never feel like I’m going to work. I love what I do. I enjoy the subject matter. I enjoy the people with whom I work. I enjoy each day as it comes. So the truth is that I never feel like I’m going to work. I just feel like I’m just enjoying myself.
The same thing is true about my relationship. I am constantly working on things in my relationship. I am constantly working on myself and my issues. None of that feels like work, because I truly believe the payoff for doing this is immense.
Do what you love, and the money will follow. Love yourself, and the love will follow.
Popularity: 8%
Tags: advice, Date, dating, david wygant, relationship advice, relationship tip, tips
Posted in Money & Success, Relationships | 7 Comments »
Thursday, November 12th, 2009
Last night in New York City, I had the chance to catch up at dinner with an old friend. It is a friend I had not seen in almost twenty years, and I have the power of Facebook to thank for making this happen.
Anyway, there is nothing better than to see how life has changed, and to really reconnect with old friends. What is really amazing is being able to see how this friend has progressed through life, and how he has grown since the crazy wild days of my 20s in New York City.
Something that I realized is that it is never too late to search out an old friend, because the bridge to your pasts can really help you understand who you are today. So today, think about making a list of some people with whom you would really like to reconnect. Then get on Facebook and search them out.
Good friends from your past are probably also wondering about you. It’s never too late to pick up where you left off with someone.
No on to today’s blog where I tell you how to take a look at how you are interracting with the person you see all the time…
So you’ve started this great relationship and everything is going really well. You’re having so much fun. She’s the one for you, and you are the one for her.
Then you get in your first fight. You start brawling. You start screaming and yelling.
All of a sudden, you get into a pattern wherein you start arguing with this person on a regular basis. You think to yourself, “God, we got along so well the first three months. What happened?!”
You need to think about your arguments. Are you arguing just for the sake of arguing? Are you just trying to get your point across when you argue? Is your ego not allowing you to hear another viewpoint? Do you just argue because you are a lawyer deep down and you want to win every single argument?
You have to look at these things. A lot of arguments with your partner are just an absolute waste of time, they really are. They’re ridiculous. They mean absolutely nothing, and are often times just silly.
One thing that I’ve learned in life, and it’s something that’s really important, is when you’re arguing with your partner you need to walk away once it starts. The argument could be about something really stupid (which many arguments are), like about you forgetting to walk the dog when it was your turn to do it.
Instead of saying “You’re absolutely right. I’m sorry I didn’t walk the dog,” you say something like “Oh, I got busy.” You defend yourself, and that escalates into a bigger argument.
The problem with arguments is that they can get pretty ugly when you get into them. When they get ugly, you may start to hit below the belt. A lot of us are below the belt fighters. I learned from my mom how to hit below the belt in an argument.
A lot of people have the mindset that if you’re going to argue with someone, you might as well get ugly and let everything in your head out. The problem is that the things that come out of your mouth at that point tend to be both stupid and below the belt comments. Those below the belt things can get pretty nasty.
It’s funny. If you look at every single argument you have, they all start with same basic little things.
So my advice to you is that the second you get into an argument with somebody or feel frustrated, walk away. Catch your breath, and apologize immediately if you were at fault. A simple apology based on a simple misconceived moment can actually go a long way to saving you from those horrible argument moments.
Popularity: 5%
Tags: communication in relationships, Dating Advice, david wygant, relationship advice, Relationships
Posted in Relationships | 2 Comments »
Saturday, November 7th, 2009
Have you ever been driving when that cute little gas guage light comes on, and you look at the computer which says “30 Miles To Empty?” I always wonder how it knows that, because I always drive until the car says “Refill Fuel Now!”
So it’s kind of like the car is lying, sort of like how someone is lying when they say “Give me a second.” I think the same person invented the phrase “give me a second” and the “Refill Fuel Now” message.
You can tell it’s Saturday since these are about the only thoughts on my brain. Good thing I have a blog written, otherwise the “refill fuel now!” message would have been the topic of today’s blog.
So onto a less “gassy” topic. . .
Do you really respect your partner? Think about all the people in your life. Think about your best friends. You respect your friends, otherwise you wouldn’t be friends with them.
Do you really respect the person you’re dating though? Do you really respect their wishes and the things they like to do? Do you make sure there is enough balance between the things you like to do and the things they like to do?
Say one of you is a late night person and the other is an early morning person. Do you compromise about that? Do you respect each other’s wants and desires? It is really important that you do. A lot of people tend to tune out or ignore their partner’s wishes.
Say your partner wants to go out for dinner to a Chinese restaurant. You had Chinese food for lunch, but you know how much your partner is craving it. So what do you do? You just kind of don’t answer them. You go into silent mode and hope they don’t ask you again.
Here’s how you should handle it. Don’t ignore them. When you ignore someone, they will immediately start to think that the answer is no and that you’re not on the same page with them. You don’t want to do this.
It’s just human nature that if someone asks us to do something we’re not really in the mood to do, we will tend to go on mute mode (and will just ignore the request). Pretty soon what happens when you do this, though, is that your partner will start to think you’re not interested in doing that thing with them (when maybe you just aren’t interested in doing it that night).
So if your partner wants to go to a Jazz club one night and you aren’t in the mood that day to do that, answer them by saying something like “No, I’m really not in the mood to go listen to jazz tonight and get drunk. Let’s do it tomorrow night.”
So, don’t ignore somebody when they have a wish. Don’t ignore somebody when they want something. Just tell them you’re not in the mood for it that night, otherwise you are going to cause your partner to form all sorts of erroneous opinions about you. If that happens, you will all of a sudden start to see your relationship go in directions you never wanted it to go.
Popularity: 5%
Tags: advice, Date, dating, Dating Advice, david wygant, partner, relationship advice, Relationships, significant other, tips
Posted in Relationships | 3 Comments »
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