“David, I met this woman who I’m so aligned with. I can feel her.

The chemistry is off the charts. It’s ridiculous.

We talk and we totally understand one another.

I feel like I’m touching her without even touching her.

I understand her, she understands me. There’s one issue.

I’m 60. She’s 30. How do I get her to want to be with me?”

Listen very carefully to what that terminology is: How do I get her to want to be with me?

Getting someone to want to be with you means that you’re actually going into salesman mode, so you’re selling somebody the benefits.

You might as well state it like this, “Hey, look, I’m a great guy, I can have sex with you better than any other man in the world. I’m going to be cool. I’m old, I’m wise, I could teach you so many things…”

Blah blah blah. That’s not the way things work. The second you go into salesman mode when you meet somebody is the second you give any and all power away.

Here’s the deal: 60 and 30 is not going to work long-term. It won’t. It can’t.

A 30-year-old woman has way too much going on in her life, way too many experiences. She probably wants a family. She’s got so many things she wants to do and experience that by the time she’s 45 or 50, she doesn’t want to be with a 75 or 80-year-old guy, and that’s understandable.

Life is about the moment. When two people meet and gravitate towards one another, it doesn’t always have to be permanent. It can be something that can just be a week or two or three or a month or four months or a year.

Everybody in life is a messenger for you. People are there to teach you things that you can learn from. That’s the beauty of what dating and what life is all about.

So my 60-year-old friend asked me, “What if I’m honest with her like you told me to be and she just doesn’t really want to go any further? What do I do?”

You tell her this:

“Look, I’m 60, you’re 30. You’re an experience for me and I’m an experience for you. We’re going to share things, we’re going to learn from one another, and our time will be up whenever it’s meant to be up. But why deny a connection? Why deny something where you can both grow as people? That’s what expanding yourself is all about and I can understand if you have fears about it, but I’m not looking to spend the rest of my existence with you because I don’t expect you to wheel me around the nursing room in 15 years. But right now I’m young, I’m viral, and there’s something here that I want to explore.”

And then you shut up.

Most people can’t even do this last part because the uncertainty is better than the possibility of rejection.

But I urge you to step into the uncertainty, for that’s where all life’s gifts are hiding.

You tend to notice things that you wouldn’t have noticed otherwise.

I noticed a lot of co-coupling.

Do you know what co-coupling is?

It’s when couples go together on a vacation.  It’s no longer a couple’s vacation; it’s a co-couples vacation.

I was sitting at dinner and I overheard a co-couples conversation behind me. One woman said to another, “I’ll be honest right now.  We have problems. I just have so much to unload right now…”

They bring the other couple along not for companionship necessarily; they bring them along so they have somebody who will understand their situation.

It’s either that their kids have been difficult or their marriage isn’t great right now, so they bring along the friend, the companion.  That way then their husband—who they probably don’t want to be with as much as they think—goes out to play golf with the other male half of the co-couple, she has someone to get her nails done with.

Or vice-versa. When the ladies are shopping, the men can do man-things all day.  They can play man-golf, they can do man-tennis, they can go man-surfing, they can do man-bonding.  They can leave the women to sit around and basically unload on one another about where their life is at, what they’re doing, and whether they’re happy.

That’s what a co-couple vacation is.  You’re bringing along your shrink, your friend, your buddy, your adversary.  That way, if you get into it with your husband or your wife on the trip, you’ve got somebody to back you up.

You sit around and you watch people on vacation and the way they interact, the way they move together, they way they don’t touch.  You can really tell a lot about people by just watching them, by looking at them.

And that’s something that I stress to all of you all the time.  If you just do this and you ignore the screens on your smartphones and pa attention to the world, you’ll notice so many amazing things about life.

And then you’ll never run out of things to talk about.

I could have easily interjected into that conversation I overheard.

“Oh, I get it. You can’t wait for dinner so you can get to the part about the kids.”

Just something simple, said with a smile and it could have led to more. If they really were going to bitch about their husbands then they really may have enjoyed a man saving them from having that conversation, and turning it into something light.

Little things lead to conversations.

That’s how simple you can make life by just paying attention to everything that’s around you.

You might end up in a relationship with her, but there’s one problem:

She’s best friends with her ex.

There’s always the possibility of baggage when you start dating someone new.

A lot of women come with bad friends, a lot of women come with a job they don’t like, but there’s nothing more difficult for the male ego to deal with than a woman who comes with her ex as a best friend.

Watch the video below and find out how to deal with this troubling issue:

Tell me more in the comments below.

Today Obi and I discuss the major difference between the sexes, especially when it comes to arguments or differences of opinion.

Click play, listen, and let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

Wait a second, what is David talking about? I thought he didn’t like the number stuff. I thought he said a guy that calls women 7, 8, 9s, and 10s was immature. I thought he said that there is only a “one” and a “two”: one, you want to hang with; two, you don’t. What is he talking about, the “perfect 10”?

When I talk about a “perfect 10” I’m talking about everything that you want—that’s your perfect 10. Everything that you deserve is your perfect 10.

You should never use the number system to rate women; it is a little immature, and it is a little ridiculous. Not only that, but it just makes you look like an idiot if anybody ever hears you talking that way. Plus, you’re not perfect, so why should you be rating other people?

So, here is what is important about the perfect 10: the perfect 10 is somebody that you are so ridiculously attracted to that she is a perfect 10. She’s amazing; she’s hot; she’s sexy; and here’s the deal: you need to find your version of the perfect 10 because otherwise, you’re never going to be satisfied.

If you’re constantly settling on women that really don’t rock your world, that you don’t find absolutely beautiful inside and out, you’re constantly going to be looking, you’re constantly going to be wondering what else there is out there.

Every guy deserves his perfect 10. And you should never be influenced by your friends. If you think a woman is absolutely, incredibly gorgeous; if you think she’s sexy as can be; if you think she’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen—stop getting validated by your friends.

If your friends tell you that you can do better, what does that matter? The only thing that matters is how you feel, how you look at that woman, and what you think of her—not what your friends think. You don’t need her to walk into a party and be a head-turner. What’s important is what you think about her.

So, you’re perfect 10 is going to be somebody that you say wow to, that you think is amazing, that you find sexy all the time. So, stop being influenced by outside sources. Stop trying to prove yourself through outside sources, and start looking at the people you date, and ask yourself: is she the person that is going to turn me on? Is she the person that’s a perfect 10 on the inside? Is she the women that is going to rock my world in every way, shape, and form?

If you’re not with a woman that you think is the perfect 10, you need to let her go. Get back out there, start talking it up, and get serious about finding your perfect 10.

They had good pedigree. They were successful and age appropriate. They were good-looking. They followed up with phone calls. Then all of a sudden—poof—they just vanished.

You’re in shock. You can’t believe that this one went away. You felt like it was the perfect kind of a relationship. You really felt like you were ready for it. You really needed this relationship because you were so tired of dating. You were tired of putting yourself online and having nothing happen. You were tired of going to the parties and heading out to the same bars and restaurants. You felt like this was the one.

Here’s the deal: everything that you’ve ever known about dating is wrong. During those three weeks you never kept a dating journal. See, Mr. and Mrs. Perfect do not exist. What we do when we date is we get caught up in what I call the oxytocin moment. We get caught up in this wave of emotion, like a drug is released in our bodies.

It feels so good to be rescued from being single. But in reality, the warning signs are there from the beginning. I tell everybody in my very new book, Naked, to keep a dating journal, and write down how you feel at the end of each date. How does this person make you feel? Do you feel desired? Do you feel excited? Take it even deeper. Do you keep a journal where you know exactly the way you need to feel in a relationship?

My new book Naked goes really deep into dating. It gets you to fall in love with the most important person in your life: you. Because when it comes down to dating, most of us date based on needs. I need to have a relationship. I need to no longer be single. I need to find somebody different because the last person didn’t treat me well.

What Naked does is it takes everything down to the root and allows you to forgive everything that’s gone on in your life and allows you to embrace all the lessons you’ve learned. But more importantly, it gets you to fall in love with who you are as a person. It allows you to realize that you’re an amazing catch.

Naked is almost 200 pages of daily exercises that help you no longer date out of need, out of frustration, or out of desperation. When it comes to love, in order to find someone to love you the way you need to be loved, you need to love yourself first. You need to take yourself out on dates. You need to do things for yourself. You need to feel amazing and wonderful and you need to strip yourself down of all your fears and become naked. You need to forget about past failures and learn from them.

But more importantly, you need to know exactly what you want going into that date, emotionally. Because when it comes down to dating, all it is is based on feelings. How did you feel at the end of a date? Most of us have never asked that question, because we always date based on wants, needs, and desires.

It’s time to change the way you date. It’s time to get naked.

I remember I went on an online date a couple years ago, this woman looked so great and amazing in her picture. Her profile described her as “fit and trim.”
Then when she showed up for the date, she was walking with a limp. This fit and trim athletic woman was walking towards me with a limp. And as she got closer, her shape got bigger and bigger. And pretty soon I realized that it wasn’t a limp she had, she was walking that way because she was carrying an extra ass with her.

She sat down to the table all nervous, fingernails bitten raw. The woman I saw in the picture looked glamorous. So I asked her, “How have you been?”
She said, “Man I’ve been really brutal lately. I’ve got this thyroid condition and I’ve just been putting on a lot of weight. I’m so sorry that I look this way. I really will get back to the way that I looked in those pictures, I swear I will.”

Meanwhile I’m thinking to myself, I’ve only known this woman for 15 seconds. This is going to be one of those half an hour dates where I pretend that someone texted me from the office and I’m going to go back.
So I said, “No, don’t worry about it, we all go through rough times. She said, “Rough times, you wouldn’t believe how this year’s been with my mother.” And then she went into this whole story about how her mother told her that she was gay. And how her mother now has a lesbian lover, her father got depressed and had a nervous breakdown. And she dumps all this on me in the first three minutes of our date.

So I start thinking to myself that would it actually be pretty rude to just check out and pretend I got a text from my office right now because I am terrified to know what the other 27 minutes are going to bring. So I did something which I think all of you should do.

When you have a crazy online date–and you will have crazy online dates–give the person a little bit of your time and attention and realize they might just need somebody to talk to. They might need an ear to listen to their stuff and unload on.

I like to be as nice as I possibly can. Why? Because I truly believe in karma, and I believe that being nice and authentic and amazing to people is the only way to treat people. You’re going to get brownie points in this world for doing that.

And then at the end of the date, look at her and say, “I’m so sorry, I’ve got to get back to the office. I really enjoyed talking to you and I wish you all the best.” It’ll make her feel good. She knows you’re not going to see her again. She’s done this on every date for the last probably three, four, five months.

You want to be the one who makes her feel good. Because you might run into her again. She might have a hot friend, and you don’t want to be the ass who basically blew her off on the day that she really needed to talk to somebody more than anything.

It’s about treating people with compassion. It’s about treating people the way you’d like to be treated. I hope you never go on a date and complain about your thyroid condition, how you’ve put on weight, and how depressed you are right now. But if you get that crazy date who unloads that on you, have a little compassion and you’ll see it will take you a long way.

What is the true definition of a stalker?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do you find yourself calling people three, four, five times . . . even after they haven’t returned a phone call?

• How about the endless text messaging or emailing to someone even when there’s no responses to any of them?

There are many different ways that someone can be a stalker. There’s the scary Glenn Close type from “Fatal Attraction” who has a penchant for boiling bunny rabbits and jumping out of bathtubs. There’s the creepy ex against whom you have to get a restraining order to stop them from coming over to your house.

Then there is the form of stalker no one talks about. It’s usually the man or woman who doesn’t understand that when a person does not respond after the second phone message, text message or email, that the person is no longer interested.

I’m not very big into rules, but there is one by which I think everyone should abide: If you’ve left a few messages for someone and they haven’t called you back, then (borrowing from an old dating book) he’s (or she’s) just not that into you.

As Miranda on “Sex & The City” once told a group of women sitting on the library steps, if you leave a couple of messages for a man and he doesn’t call you back, he’s just not that into you. The problem is that they should have left it as a “Sex & The City” episode.

That book had one piece of good advice. The rest of it is annoying.

Plain and simple: If you’re a man who leaves a woman a few messages and she doesn’t call you back, you’re done.

If you text her several times and she doesn’t respond, you’re done. Technology didn’t stop working. Her fingers simply stopped responding to you.

If you email someone a few times and they don’t respond, you’re done. The spam filter that wasn’t there before did not just magically appear.

So now let’s get it right. The term is no longer “he (or she) is just not that into you.” The new term is “you’re done!” Finished. Done. End of the game – no two minute warning and no instant replay. You’re done.

Protect your dignity and walk away. You don’t want to be stalking the sidelines at the raving Tom Coughlin, nor do you want to look as confused on those sidelines as Wayne Fontes used to look when he coached the Detroit Lions.

You’re Done! Anything past a few messages, and you ARE a stalker. There are plenty of people to date. Don’t ever get caught harassing someone who does not want to date you.

Now repeat after me: If someone doesn’t call me back after several tries, I’m done. I’m as well done as a Jimmy Dean sausage from a Cracker Barrel roadside restaurant deep off I-95 in North Carolina.

I’d love to hear all of you share one of your stalker stories, whether you were the stalker or the one who was stalked.

Remember, it’s not necessarily negative if you’ve called someone once too often. We’ve all done it in our lives. So, share with us your favorite stalker or stalkee story.

Now you’re about to make one of the biggest decisions of your life. You’re in love with a fantastic woman. You think she’s the one.

You want her to move in, but you’ve heard stories from so many other people about how everything changes once you move in with someone. The truth is that this is one of the most fascinating times of your life.

I remember when I first lived with somebody. I was 23 or 24 years old, and it didn’t last longer than two weeks. At that time, I really wanted to just move in with someone. I wanted to be an adult. I wanted to say that I lived with my girlfriend.

It was no longer enough for me just to have the relationship or to have sleepovers. I wanted to live with my girlfriend. I wanted to experience that. Unfortunately it didn’t work out.

Since then, I have lived with quite a number of women. I can tell you that living with someone makes the relationship take on a whole different dynamic.

You’re no longer playing sleepover games, or having those great 11:00pm phone conversations that end with you going over there late at night for incredible sex. You’re now part of their life every single day. Every day.

You wake up next to them, you have dinner with them, you share the refrigerator with them, you go to sleep with them, you learn their habits, and you learn what TV shows they like to watch. It’s not like spending the weekend together or spending the night at someone’s house three nights a week.

You are with them all the time. Their friends are in your house. Their phone calls are in your house. Their television shows are in your house.

You no longer can have that great signed football picture of you and Peyton Manning that was taken during the Indianapolis Colts’ training camp as the centerpiece of your living room decor. You are now going to become a highly domesticated man.

When you are living with someone, rules change. Sex will change. It’s not going to be as exciting as it once was.

It’s very hard to recapture those first six months of a relationship (when you’re not living together) once you are living together. You’re going to have to learn to make efforts with each other, and to be more aware of each other’s feelings, emotions, needs and desires.

You need to know when the other needs space or needs alone time. You have to understand each other’s moods.

You also have to “report in” when you live together. If you’re not going to be home until late one night, you’ve got to tell that person. You are not longer living alone, and you have to realize that you now have someone who will worry about you so you have to keep them posted.

You are now in adulthood. You are now living and breathing and wanting to be with that person every single day. You are in that adult relationship, and this is one of the biggest parts of being an adult.

This whole dynamic of what you thought relationships were is going to change right before your eyes. You’re going to have to become a person who not only thinks of themselves, but who thinks about somebody else (and sometimes thinks of someone else before you think of yourself).

There will be a lot of change from when you were living separately. You’re going to have women come over to your house for “girls nights.” You’re going to come home and have to listen to a bunch of women talking about things you have no desire to hear.

So what you need to do is to develop your own personal “man cave.” This is something I have determined is absolutely necessary if you are going to move in with a woman. Make sure your house is big enough so that you can have a man cave to go to when you need to just be yourself (and need to be by yourself).

You need to have a place you can watch football, read ESPN on the Internet, and talk to your friends on the phone. You need to have a place you can decorate any way you want. You need to have personal space in order to make a relationship work.

Moving in together is a big step. Moving in together is exciting. Moving in together is a part of your future. What you need to realize, though, is that moving in also means that you need to know how to coexist .

You need to understand that this woman you know now is going to change in a lot of different ways. When you are comfortable with each other, you change.

You need to realize that romance is not going to be something you not only have to think about, but you might even have to (gasp!) have to take a day or two a week and plan it. When you live together, you tend to take people for granted. So remember all the amazing things that you had together when you were courting each other — remember all the great sex and the spontaneity.

If you can remember all that — and keep that when you’re living with them — then the relationship has a great chance of success. Give each other space, make sure there is enough romance, and make sure that you continue to develop the friendship. When you do fight, make sure you have a space to which you can go back. Welcome to a real, good, fun and challenging time of your life.