Let’s go back to the game and rewind just a little bit. The Jets found a way to beat Tim Tebow. I think they had eight three in outs on the Broncos. The Broncos couldn’t move. Tebow couldn’t run.

Tebow throws like a girl, I’ve never seen passes like that in the NFL. All his passes seemed to go absolutely nowhere but down to the ground or towards the stands.
But at the end of the game, the Jets became just like most guys are when it comes down to dating. They went into what is called the Prevent defense. And all the Prevent defense ever does in football is prevent you from winning.

I’ve seen it 1,000s of times. A team plays great defense for 55 minutes of the game, they give up no touchdowns at all. Then all of a sudden the quarterback, who’s been having a horrible game, will drive the team down the field and win the game. Because the defense that worked for 55 minutes is abandoned. Then the team is losing, and stays in Prevent defense mode, which of course, prevents them from winning.

I never understood why coaches do that, and I never understood why guys go into the Prevent defense when trying to go out and meet women.
Instead of trusting a new game plan, instead of going into attack mode, instead of going out and meeting women all day long, all guys seem to do (especially on a Friday or Saturday night) is go into Prevent defense mode. They think that just because they’re out on the playing field on a Friday night, that things are magically going to happen for them. That they will stumble across a win, stumble across a beautiful woman.

So what do they do? They wait, they kick back, stand around the room looking at everyone in Prevent defense mode. They wait for the right opportunity. They never go and approach. They’re playing it safe. Sure, they may be preventing themselves from getting rejected, but while they’re doing that, every other guy is swooping in ahead of them and talking to the women that they want to talk to.

The only way to meet the kind of women you want is to come up with a definitive game plan, a game plan that’s going to work, a game plan that’s aggressive and moves you forward. You’ve got to ditch the game plan you’ve had up until now, the game plan where you’re playing it safe.

Here’s the deal, guys. The year is almost over. You’re heading into the home stretch of the year, you’re heading into the final six weeks of the year. Do you have a definitive game plan? Or are you a guy who curls up and goes into Prevent mode? Are you a guy who lets everybody else run around you, advance down the field, walk away with the women that you want and then you’re left at the end of the day, basically being an arm chair quarterback, thinking to yourself, How could I have made this different? How could I have changed the outcome?
There’s no way to change that outcome unless you change the way you think. Unless you go at it aggressively and come up with a game plan that’s going to breathe success. By going out and talking to people openly and passionately all day long, you’re going to start leading people and you’re not going to let people walk all over you when the weekend hits and it comes down to Friday-Saturday night crunch time.

For those of you who are serious about meeting women this holiday time, if you’re sick of being single over the holidays, I’ve come up with a whole game plan for you to check out.
RIGHT NOW is by far the best time of the year to meet women. Why? Women are emotionally drained, emotionally looking to connect, looking to share the holidays with someone. It’s holiday time. They’re in holiday mode, shopping, out having fun and enjoying themselves.

They’re connecting with old friends. They’re available. They’re not going to make up the fake boyfriend. I explain to you why, I talk about all of this and much more in my gameplan on how to meet women for the holidays.

Not only that, they want to end the year with a bang. The question is, are you going to be the one banging them? Or are you going to be the one standing on the sidelines wondering, waiting, hoping, basically standing in the corner of the bar going into Prevent defense mode over and over again?
Click here to check it out. It’s a must if you want to get down with new women this time of the year.

Think about it. First class all the time. Great hotels. Hell, I’ve read People and Us Magazine, I’ve seen some of the places she stays at. It would be a blast to be somebody’s boy toy. I had no issues and no qualms of ever dating a woman that has more money than I do. It’s perfectly acceptable. I don’t really care.

But here’s what happens, a lot of guys are so full of ego they can’t handle if a woman makes more than them. So what they’ll do is they’ll take her out to meals that they can’t afford, just to prove that they can keep up with her lifestyle. A friend of mine took a woman on a $10,000 vacation when he had $5,000 in the bank. She was accustomed to that kind of wealth. She tried to offer to help but he said, “No, don’t worry about it, it’s on me.”

Don’t worry about it, when I get home I’ll just stress for the next three years on how to pay this vacation off.

Who cares what somebody make? When I was dating, I would have loved to have met a rich celebrity woman and lived that lifestyle. Why not? Women do it all the time. Women meet guys with money and they’ve got no issues taking that money. Hell, they’ll marry guys with money for two years and then try to get half the money.

It’s about time we did a role reversal. I’m all for men dating rich women. And you know what, drop the ego and start enjoying the fringe benefits, because let me tell you something, flying first class, staying at the Four Seasons and eating $400 meals are far better than living in a one-bedroom apartment, having lawn chair furniture as living room furniture because you can’t afford a couch, and flying in economy in the last row so when you leave you feel like you were at a loud rock concert because your ears are vibrating for the next four years because you can’t hear anything because of the sound of the engines.

It’s time you all dated rich women, dropped the ego and had fun with it. Role reversal is great.

Actually on that same flight to Toronto last week, I sat right next to John McEnroe, and I did nothing about it.

So I get on the plane, and I’m sitting in front of Mr. Name Dropper. This guy sat down. Another guy sat down next to him in the seat, and for the next 15 minutes before we took off, the guy proceeded to name drop. “Randy Jackson is his good friend.” Steven Tyler: he’s not sure is going to re-up for American Idol.

“Did I tell you about my girlfriend, she’s much younger than me?” “My girlfriend who’s much younger than me.” He said it like five or six times to the poor guy sitting next to him. He talked about his days when he used to write music and manage all these different people. He must have dropped 70 names in the span of 15 minutes.

Are You Dating A Name Dropper?

So I turned around and pretended to be interested. And then I did the old trick when you were a little kid: “Psych!” I looked directly at him, and looked down, and didn’t even acknowledge him at all. And of course when the plane landed, I didn’t realize John McEnroe was sitting next to me—across from me actually.

Mr. Name Dropper then looked at John and goes “John, how you doing?” John goes great. He goes what are you in Toronto for. Mr. Name Dropper said, “Ah, the old guys are playing tennis. Man, I love the old guys. Did I tell you about how I had lunch with Agassi one time?”

He name dropped McEnroe!

Name droppers are hilarious. Who cares who you know? Who cares who you’re friends with? Who cares if you have a younger girlfriend? Why do people feel the need to torture total strangers with useless information? Are we supposed to walk away impressed? Are we supposed to get off that plane and go, “Oh my God, I sat next to a guy who’s friends with Randy Jackson?” Who cares?

I sat next to a man who had really bad breath, and didn’t speak one word, and had five drinks. Is he friends with the Heineken company? Does he know the owner of Jack Daniels? Because apparently the way he was drinking it seemed like he was best friends with them.

If you’re a namedropper, impress with who you are and not who you know.

It’s so funny to watch people walk around on a cloudy day with dark glasses on. It makes absolutely no sense at all. They can’t possibly need the sunglasses, there’s no sun out. Especially inside the airport. Ever been in LAX? That place is dark, gloomy, and outdated in every which way.

Living in L.A. is a real comedy sometimes. It’s a real circus parade. I know that for many of you a celebrity sighting is a fun thing, it’s like spotting a wild bird or an endangered species. But in Los Angeles, these celebrities, no matter what level they are, whether it’s a B-list, C-list, or D-list quasi-celebrity, will always mask themselves in public because they feel that the world is constantly chasing them and looking at them. But in reality, the majority of people won’t even recognize who somebody is until they put on the dark glasses on and the scarf.

Celebrities

Because here’s the deal: when it’s a cloudy, rainy day, and you’re walking into the supermarket with dark sunglasses and a scarf on, everybody is going to look at you. So I think what they’re actually doing is the exact opposite of what they’re pretending to do, and they’re doing it for a reason: they really want people to notice them. By masking themselves, they actually want to be noticed.

I have found that the majority of people I’ve met who are so-called celebrities are some of the most insecure people in the world. A lot of them are narcissists who want others to look at them constantly, asking, “Who is that? Ooh, is that a celebrity?” A lot of them really love the attention 24/7. So it’s a pretty ironic thing to be able to watch the circus parade all the time.

So many people just want other people to look at them. They want to be noticed. A lot of them come here to Los Angeles just to be noticed, just to be famous. It’s amazing when you drive around Los Angeles. There are just so many wannabe celebrities.

My last few posts have had nothing to do with going out at night, and I promise we’ll get back on track with some nuggets for you to try out over the weekend soon:)

But for now I really want to share with you guys an incredible speech that was televised over the weekend.

Now anybody who knows me knows that I don’t talk sports. I can’t. I haven’t really known anything about sports since I was in 8th grade. I catch a baseball like a little girl, I can’t dribble to save the life of me, and my spiral even on a Nerf football looks like I may as well be flinging CD cases in the air, so pretty early in life what I did was I pretty much entirely gave up sports and anything sports-related.

But last Saturday, former Denver Broncos tight end Shannon Sharpe was inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame and gave one of the best and most heartfelt speeches I’ve ever heard.

Listen to the energy in his voice. Listen to the passion. Here’s a guy who truly, truly owns his words. You know how we always tell you guys that that when you’re out meeting women, or you’re out on a date, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it? Well this is how you do it.

No teleprompter. All heart.

Was his grammar 100% correct? No. Did the words come out of his mouth exactly the same way he planned them ahead of time? No. But he delivered his message with absolute conviction all the same. You look at his eyes and hear the enthusiasm in his voice, and you can’t help but listen. You can’t help but be drawn in and feel the moment.

We talk a lot on the blog about what it means to be a good communicator to the opposite sex and to express yourself. We talk about what it means to open up and be vulnerable, to speak from the heart and command attention when you speak.

There’s a lot I learned from this speech, and it’s not just about being a powerful communicator.

There’s always a lot to learn, and there’s a lot to be thankful for. Here’s a woman who sacrificed to raise three children and nine grandchildren, for 66 years never once slept under a roof that didn’t leak, and remained strong enough through it all to be the inspiring force behind two of the greatest athletes in NFL history who otherwise would never have stood a fighting chance.

That’s something I’m going to remember once my excuses come creeping in. I don’t have excuses when it comes to women or my dating life, and that’s why I’m coaching you guys, but I’m certainly not perfect and I make plenty of excuses for myself in other areas of my life. And the next time I do, I’m going to push myself against those excuses because I’m going to remember Shannon Sharpe and how he pushed himself against all odds based on a promise he made to his grandmother.

So the next time you tell yourself how bad you have it because you’re too short, or you’re too fat, or too bald, or you’re not interesting enough, or your face is too acne-scarred to attracted a beautiful woman or a wonderful man, I would like you to remember Shannon Sharpe and the passion that his grandmother instilled in him to push himself forward. I want us to embrace how lucky some of us are to be sitting here in front of our computers, fortunate enough to bitch and complain about our looks or our lack of a girlfriend, or whatever.

Next time you’re out talking to people and working on your conversational skills, appreciate the fact that that you don’t have to sacrifice your entire life for the sake of 12 children, and that you have the luxury to take this time and opportunity to work on yourself.

I want you to delight in every conversation and every connection you have this week with the people around you, I want you to live in the moment, and really embrace the fact that you are able to take THIS time right now in your life to make yourself a better, more authentic, and more powerful person.

Think about it, you go, you meet somebody, you got some conflict, and then all of a sudden everything works out perfectly. Everybody says I’m sorry, everything works out great. That to me, those are real special effects, because real relationships are never like movie relationships at all.

Real relationships are torturous, they’re hell, they’re crazy. One party never says sorry, the other one does say sorry. The fights, they’re so different. Movie fights they’re great, movie conflicts are easy. You always know at the end that the couple is going to fall in love and everything is going to be perfect. Those to me are real special effects.

Best Date Movies

I want a movie relationship. I think movie relationships are a lot of fun. In two hours you go through a wide range of emotion and then you know that the person you’re supposed to be with is that person. In real life you go through a wide range of emotions and you can get tortured for two, three, four years.

Anyway, the real issue of this whole thing is, I just don’t like movies with special effects. I’m just not a dude that way, never really liked “Transformers” or “Iron Man.” I don’t like 10 minute fight scenes in my movies, it’s just not who I am.

So what’s your favorite summer movie of all time? Which one creates the most amount of memory for you? Except “Jaws.” This poll doesn’t include “Jaws,” and for you younger generation that looks at the special effects in “Jaws” and think it’s bad, I say it’s imagination. So share with us today what your favorite summertime movie is.

As I’m writing this I’m still on a big high from the amazing London boot camp. We were really out about town all weekend long getting out of our comfort zones, interacting with and really engaging people all day and night.

You know it’s funny how many people will talk and talk about “playing the field.” They can spout theory and concepts on dating that they read in an e-book all day long. And they’re really good at telling other people how to do it “the right way”.

Are you one of those people that can call people out? When you’re online, can you really speak your mind and let everyone see how much you really know? With a stroke of your keyboard, can you type waterproof arguments and let others have it? Are you somebody who’s so powerful online that you’re able to say whatever you want in public forums and blogs—but then in person, you actually wouldn’t dare look somebody in the eyes and say that?

Do you know what I call those people? Keyboard jockeys. People who appear so amazing online, but when it comes down to real action, they are very weak. People who can tune right in to their computers and type away, comment after comment, thinking, “Wow, I’m bright, it feels great showing everyone how smart I am!” They’re better than everybody else online, but in person they would never talk to somebody like that.

Key Board Jockey

Here’s the deal: If your words are unbelievably strong online, but you can’t actually talk to people when you’re in person, then when you’re typing away on your computer, you’re really you’re just a keyboard jockey living through an alter ego. Isn’t it time to get out from behind the computer and be able to say things like this face to face with people? Don’t you want to be able to say in real time all the powerful things you can type away online?

Granted, you don’t want to say the ridiculous obnoxious things that some of you spout off online, but wouldn’t it be nice to look people in the eyes and actually speak your mind and really be heard with conviction and emotion in your voice? Maybe you wouldn’t be so obnoxious when you’re posting comments…

Now don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE all of your comments on the blogs, it lets me know that what I write is really reaching out to you, so don’t think this is about any of you guys. But I write for several big publications and I see a lot of keyboard jockeys at work.

There’s another form of keyboard jockey, and that’s the person who goes on an online dating site, and basically talks and schmoozes, flirts like crazy, and writes heart-filled e-mails and has lengthy IM sessions. They’re really good at that, but they never actually go on dates to meet anybody because they’re too afraid to leave their computer. Sure, they can really turn somebody on with their words, but they always find reasons not to meet up. Why? Because they’re keyboard jockeys. Do you know of any keyboard jockeys, or maybe you are a keyboard jockey?

I’d like to hear from you guys today. Looking forward to reading your comments when I get to Munich!

Is that really news?

Nothing new about that and really nothing very interesting either.

But here’s what I think.

I think women are addicted to Charlie Sheen “Man Boys” and crave to be the one to fix them.

I also feel that some men are Charlie Sheen “Wanna Be Man Boys” and crave the variety and deviance of that lifestyle.

So how do you know if you have an inner Sheen lurking inside?

Glad you asked.

Today’s podcast will help you determine if you have an inner Sheen or if you are addicted to dating Charlie Sheen “Man Boys!”

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

It’s true – every car. I find that very hard to believe, especially considering that 75% of the people who sell a car are selling it because the car has issues and problems that they do not want to fix.

Then when you ask them if they have any service records, they always tell you that they don’t have any because the car has been “dealer maintained.” They tell you that although they have no records, that the car is absolutely perfect.

Now, there is a trick I’ve learned about buying a used car. There are actually people out there who sell a car only because they’re sick of it or because they want a newer model.

What I always tell people is to look for the seller who is really honest and has all of the paperwork, including the service history. Look for the seller who actually washed the car.

You can tell if a seller is one of these honest sellers by the way their ad is written. Honest seller’s ads are written with a lot of passion. They love and are going to miss the car, even though they want something new.

So how does all this talk about buying used cars relate to dating? We’re all used cars. Every one of us.

Have you tried online dating? Everyone online is perfect according to their profiles and how they describe themselves. Everyone has had such a wonderful and exciting life. When you go out on a date with them, though, you start to see their cracks and flaws.

What you need to realize is that the older we get, the more flawed we become. There’s nothing wrong with flaws. Flaws are part of who you are. Learning your flaws, embracing them, going to the mechanic once in a while to get your flaws fixed, and having an action plan to work on them is really important.

You’re not perfect, so stop chasing after and looking for perfection. So many single people spend their time looking for perfection and thinking that they need to find someone perfect.

They will have a list of all the things that they want. The list say that the person they’re looking for MUST be this and MUST be that, and if someone isn’t those things then they’re out of there.

You’re not perfect. You’re as flawed as every single car you’ve ever looked at on AutoTrader. So embrace those flaws. Be honest when you don’t know something. You’ll be amazed at who you meet and how your life progresses.

So if you’re planning this week to put a classified ad on one of the online dating sites, try making yourself sound more real instead of sounding like all those cars that are posted on AutoTrader.

How many of you find yourself typing away on the Internet, or playing on Facebook chatting up old friends that you haven’t seen in 25 years, at 11:00 each night? How many of you come home from work, watch television, get on the Internet, and then do nothing but sleep when you crawl into bed next to your lover?

Before the Internet existed, we needed to get creative to have intimacy. We actually lit candles. We actually had long conversations. We actually talked on the phone.

The Internet sucks us in now. It’s like a void. Before you know it, you have seven different windows open simultaneously with different things to which you need to respond. You might even be reading this blog instead of being in bed with the one you love.

In fourteen years of being a dating and relationship coach, I’ve found that most people retreat to the Internet because they don’t know how to retreat and connect with their lover anymore. The Internet really is one of the biggest intimacy killers.

I was recently traveling abroad with my wife, and I brought my laptop along (which I almost never do). I found myself feeling like I needed to keep in touch with people business-wise. I even found myself actually reading articles or reading the ESPN website instead of walking on the beach and connecting with my wife.

The Internet really sucks you in. It’s an addiction. It’s an addiction that could be as bad as drinking and drugs.

So many of us spend so much time on the Internet instead of spending time connecting with other people. Instead of going out and meeting actual human beings with whom we can develop a relationship, we spend time chatting online with people we barely know.

So, here’s a suggestion for everyone . . .

Bookmark a few of your favorite sites. When you get home, relax a little bit and spend some time on the Internet reading things.

Then when you have dinner with your significant other, sit there and just talk. Relax and enjoy each other’s company.

When it comes down to intimacy, if the only intimacy you are having right now is with your fingers typing on a keyboard, I strongly suggest that you start realizing how the Internet is killing any intimacy in your life. Realize how it’s killing your connection with your lover and with your friends.