We were walking around London last night and I was telling the guys that the best way to meet women at night is to think about what is waiting outside the bar.

Most guys can not wait to get into a bar or club. I prefer to be on the outside where there is no competition.

The best place to meet women is on line. No, not online on match.com or on Yahoo! Personals . . . but rather while you’re waiting on a line.

We spend so much of our lives waiting on a line. We’re waiting for coffee. We’re waiting at the bank. We’re waiting at the grocery store. We’re always waiting on a line . . . sometimes for one minute and sometimes for two hours.

Do you talk to people while you’re waiting on a line? If the answer is no, then read on because what I’m about to tell you is one of the best time management tools you will ever learn.

As a matter of fact, Microsoft Outlook was thinking of adding this tool to their software for Blackberries. Alright maybe not . . . but you get my point. I looked at the line waiting to get in, and I asked my students:

DW: “What do you notice about what people are doing in that line . . .
besides looking pissed off that they have to wait?”

S1: “No one is talking to each other.”

DW: “Exactly! No one is talking to each other while waiting on line to get
into a bar or nightclub . . . waiting to get into a loud, crowded, place
so they can potentially scream in each other’s ears.”

The best conversations you’re going to have are when you’re waiting on line to get into the bar. They will be far better than any you’ll have while you’re inside the bar.

Bar Lines

To prove my point, we got on line there and we proceeded to have a conversation with the group in front of us and the group behind us. When it was time to enter the club, the doorman asked me how many we were, and I said that we were seven but that we wanted to wait on line for awhile before going inside.

As each group behind us got to where we were at the front of of the line, we met a whole new group of people. By the time we left that line about twenty minutes later, we’d met and spoken with about forty people! In light of this, let me ask you a few questions:

• How many of you speak to forty people when you’re IN a nightclub?
• How many of you get phone numbers when you’re IN the nightclub?
• How many of you get people to text you as soon as they leave a nightclub to see where you’re hanging out and what line is cool right now?

These are just some of the things that happened to my students and I when we were waiting on line at a trendy London nightclub.

Since you’re able to speak about the obvious while you’re waiting on line, how silly is it to wait to get inside a loud club before you start talking to people? Whatever your approach is, when you speak to someone while your on line you can always state it with humor. You can always say something like:

“Aren’t we getting too old to hang out on line to get into a crowded nightclub?
This is the best conversation we’re going to have all night. If we met in there,
I’d have to scream in your ear.”

It doesn’t matter what you say. It’s stating the obvious.

I also told my students that if you like someone you meet on line, just close them with this:

Man: “Let’s exchange numbers. If the loud music gets on your nerves,
text me and I’ll let you know where we’re at.”

What you’re doing here is playing the odds. Most women when they go to a nightclub think they’re going to have fun. After about an hour in the nightclub, however, most of them tend to get annoyed. So after about an hour and a half, what you do is text her.

You: “Are you ready to continue our conversation? I enjoyed
speaking with you on line about [fill in the topic you were
discussing].”

That’s it! Short . To the point. All my students did this, and it worked.

It’s called being different. It’s called seizing the moment.

In addition, when you send this text at this time, you’re most likely going to be texting her when she’s at her breaking point. She’ll remember what a great conversation she had with you while hanging out on line. She’ll already have fended off a slew of drunken horny men who had no rap. So what you’re doing is rescuing her from another 90 minutes of thump-thump music and drunken horny men.

It’s all about being different and taking chances. So the next time when someone asks you if you’ve tried online dating, you’re answer is going to be: “Not on the Internet . . . but on line at a club.”

This weekend, go hang out outside a bar . . . and don’t go inside. You’ll have far less competition and have far better conversations than you would have if you went in the place. Oh and by the way, you don’t need a cheesy picture for this form of “on line” dating.

This “on line” dating also goes for all the “on lines” in you life. This is not just for bars . . . this goes for any line on which you find yourself waiting. Welcome to David Wygant’s world of “on line” dating! Welcome to the www of your life.

A client of mine recently reunited with a woman he used to have a crush on in high school, after they found each other on Facebook ten years later. They didn’t know each other very well in school, but they hung recently and hit it off.

They had dinner together, then she invited him over to her place for some drinks. He followed.

The woman had a young daughter, and once the daughter went to bed, my client moved in to try to kiss her. She turned her head away, but they continued chatting. My client immediately thought that she rejected him and that he was put in the friend zone, and didn’t make another move.

A little later, she suggested that he sleep on the couch because they had both been drinking. In the middle of the night, the woman came into the living room and got under his covers and laid down with him. Assuming she wanted to hook up, he then started feeling her up.

She pushed his hand away and said she just wanted to cuddle. Then she slept in his arms for the rest of the night.

Foreplay

The next day my client received a Facebook message from her saying that she was sorry about the situation last night, but it’s not something she does with guys right at the beginning.

Ok, let’s break this down:

My client thought he was in the friend zone because this girl did not want to hook up with him and in his mind, she was sending him mixed signals.

Was he in the friend zone? NO. Was she sending him mixed signals? Maybe, but we’ll talk about why that doesn’t matter.

First, you are NEVER in the friend zone on the first date with a woman. You are not friends with a woman on a first date, so you cannot be in the friend zone. Unless you’ve been hanging out with her for a while with no spark, or she says right in the beginning, “I like you better as a friend,” or “Let’s just be friends,” or something like that, you are not in the friend zone.

So, was she giving him mixed signals here?

Let’s dig into how female psychology works. My client assumed that because she invited him over for drinks that she wanted to hook up. Then he assumed that because she offered for him to sleep on the couch that she wanted to hook up. Then he assumed that because she got under the covers that she wanted to hook up.

He was wrong each time.

So if she liked him, why didn’t she want to get physical with him? After all, if you’re attracted to somebody, you will want to have sex, right?

Kind of. The problem with my client is that he was thinking too much like a man. If you’re a typical guy, the only thing on your mind is the shortest point from the tip of your penis to the entrance of her vagina. You’re attracted to a woman, you want to have sex. Period.

Not so fast with women. Sure, just like men, some women will be horny right then and there and are just craving some action. Even for women who are looking for a relationship, she may be really attracted to the guy and act on impulse and sleep with him, and still want a relationship with him later on.

There is no hard rule. Every woman is different, just like every man is different, and it all depends on where they’re at in life.

A young girl in her 20′s may be really concerned about finding the right guy and want to move slowly because she wants to be romanced and to feel special. Another girl in her 20′s may be sexually open or going through a phase where she wants to sleep with a guy right away. Some women are looking for relationships and will hold off on sex until they’re in one. Some women have been burned in the past and don’t want to get hurt again. Some have children and are looking for a guy who is stable and dependable, who will be there when she needs to call on someone for support. Some women have freed themselves up sexually and all they want right now is sex (the infamous “cougar”).

But most of the time, and this is the biggest lesson a lot of guys need to learn if you really want to turn her on, is that YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT SLOW. Emotions and fantasy have to take time to cultivate and they come into play slowly, not overnight. You have to keep your pants on. You have to lead my taking small steps, being the one to end things first and knowing when to leave, letting the sexual tension build, and giving her space.

You have to be patient with the woman you’re with. Just because you’re turned on does not mean that the pants need to come flying off. For a guy, sex is the goal. No sex? Fail. For a woman, intercourse is not the goal. Cuddling counts. Making out counts. Oral sex counts. Feeling turned on and emotionally connected, these things all count as part of the bigger picture. So don’t get discouraged if she tells you to put the breaks on because you’re moving too fast. A lot of times if you get shot down, you need to listen to what she’s telling you. She’s saying she wants to take it slow and get to know you better, not that she doesn’t like you.

You need to let the sexual tension build up, you have to let her feel comfortable and safe around you, you have to let her know that you are actually interested in her as a person, interested in spending time with her, and not only that you want to have sex with her. You make sure that she knows you’re still going to be around for round two, round three, and round four.

So forget about mixed signals coming from a woman. You have to assume that she’s interested in you sexually if she’s inviting you over to spend time with you.

If you make a move and instead she wants to cuddle in bed with you the first time, that’s ok. Let her feel safe around you and build up your trust level.

If it’s the third or fourth time and she’s still pushing you away, you need to man up and ask her what’s up. She may not actually like you. She may have some hang-ups that you deserve to know about. Be up front and open. Tell her you’re into her, that you want to be intimate with her, and find out if she just wants to take things slow or if she’s not actually attracted to you.

But if you’re getting shot down the first couple dates and she still wants to see you again, that’s actually a good thing, not a failure. You’re making progress, you’re being clear with what you want, and it’s time to slow it down and take control by taking smaller steps instead of trying to go from 0 to 100 in one night.

She read all the comments and wanted to clarify that money is not what keeps her turned on, its all about a man that knows how to take charge. Here is her email to all of you.

Enjoy todays guest blogger.

Dear David, 

I have to share with you, about the what happened  to my relationship with the Very handsome, Rich guy from Boca, that got all the responses to last weeks pod cast.  It’s all about building Sexual Tension before the date, and keeping it going during the date. You have to take control. Send sexy text messages before the date. Dress the part of the woman you are looking to attract . This is so important, i can not tell you. Fyi…  You do not need a lot of money to look sharp !!  .   Women have no idea, where you shopped for your jeans or shirts. It is looking presentable, dressing in style,  and smelling great.  :)  Being well groomed . All over if you know what i mean  .  You do not need a lot of money to take a woman out on a fun date. !!  In my mind, if he took me to the beach, and bought a bottle of wine, and cheese, ect.. on a blanket, that  would have  been  so much more of an aphrodisiac then being in this Trendy Boca Restaurant with the A/C not working , noisy , and exchanging resume’s. Him telling me, he was an investment banker for Lehman Bros. Is not getting me ” wet ” between my legs. It was intriguing for a few minutes .  Him creating a very magical moment, that not many men do. Like kissing me on the beach, or sharing fun stories,  asking me questions about myself, or listening to his I pod. He happens to have great taste in Music. It is called building moments…  together.  Which he could have saved, not that he needed to watch his wallet, a good $ 150.00 that night. He would have ended up with the same results, or maybe even better.!!!.  It would have turned me on  sexually , so much more. 

What Women Want From A Man

I write this to help out men, who truly misinterpreted my blog, into thinking if you are not Very Handsome, Very Rich, and Have a Huge C-ock , You are not able to get a beautiful woman.  A man with these qualities i have to say , he does have an advantage point in ” Getting ” a beautiful woman.  But, it was the way he presented himself before the date, and how he took complete ” Control ” of the date . That was the Biggest turn on to me !!  I was impressed with the way he was the MAN..  and with him taking that role. It made me feel like a Woman. When i start to feel like the woman, and i am exuding  feminine energy. It makes me feel very sensual, and sexual. I think about wanting to have sex with him .  What it would be like to kiss him, and how would it feel when he touches my body.  How would he feel laying on top of me.  I start to get excited about, how can i turn him on sexually.  What can i do different, to please him. 

What this man does not have is the qualities to ” Keep ”  a quality, beautiful woman. !!   I will share with you, the ending to my magical weekend, in Palm Beach,FL . ,  with the last night of sensual, hot sex.  He did send the next day, when i returned to NYC, a dozen Red Roses, with a card, ” thinking of you ” ..  

He did send me e mails, and he did make 1 phone call. Expressing what a great time he had with me. i will quote what he wrote 

” So Glad you love the roses, not nearly as beautiful as you !!! had an amazing time with you Sunday evening: cant wait to see you next time. I’ll call you to say hello later today or tomorrow. ( Friday the latest ) . Miss you sexy !!! . 

Well, He never called, and the following week, he came to NYC for Fashion Week. Did not even let me know he was in town. We were texting each other, and he said, he was walking out of his last Fashion Show !!!!   WTF ?  I was hurt, and will never feel the same about him. All his Great Looks, His Huge Cock , and and Bank Roll.   All vanished, as fast as it rolled in.  We texted back and forth, and he said he was sorry a few times. He said, quote ” He did not have the time for a date with me ” …  It is all about being Real, and Genuine, and what ever you write and feel, it’s about  being in your reality. This man was so detached from reality. Follow through is ” KEY ” . 

  I deserve and want  to have a man who is kind and sincere. Honest and someone who loves themselves.  When you love yourself. You feel great about yourself everyday. You come clean with yourself, and you do not treat others or act this way.  Self love on my part is , I WANT MORE. !!!  

Hope this is helpful, and It is Not all about being Rich, Handsome, and Hung. It might open a door, and he did get to play with me for a night. 

 However, he will never have staying power. I never responded to his last text.  I,  no longer  have any desire for him anymore.  

Denise. 

David is out in Chicago today at his final Communication Seminar of the year! If you missed it but wanted to attend, don’t worry. There will be more coming next year, so stay tuned.

You know I always love giving you guys advice on how to handle going out on the weekends, making sure you have a good time, and being able to make sense of it all. The reason I can give you the insight is because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to go out on Friday and Saturday nights chasing women around, collecting phone numbers, not getting anywhere, and generally not having a very satisfying time by the end of the night.

But every once in a while, I still get swept up into the Saturday night fever myself. I still get sucked into the same traps, standing around in some bar, talking to some woman I just met over blaring music, not being able to hold any sort of real conversation, wondering, “Why the hell am I here?”

Last weekend, I took a trip out to Montreal with some good friends. We were five guys all together, no women in our group. All around, the weekend was terrific. Friday night? Amazing. We had a great meal and saw some cool live jazz in town. Saturday during the day? Had a great time walking around, meeting people, eating some great food, sitting out in the park, and checking out some of the sights.

How To Meet Women At Night

But then…by the time Saturday night rolled around, everybody started getting nightclub fever. It’ like as a single person you’re led to believe that on Saturday nights you’re supposed to go out to a bar or a nightclub. That’s just what you’re supposed to do. So we all met in the lobby, everybody wearing the same collared shirt, jeans, and black shoes combo. The infamous wolf pack. I wanted to kill myself before the night even started—way too many dudes in the same group. I’ve been in the situation many, many times before and I saw where it was headed: a whole lot of nowhere.

Now don’t get me wrong: I did end up meeting some cool people and generally having a good time, just because that’s my nature and I’ll have a good time wherever I go, but a couple of my buddies were so stressed out from the night. One guy kept wanting to go to a strip club. Another guy didn’t drink and didn’t want to hang around drinkers. Another kept texting his girlfriend every 15 minutes. Another hadn’t been laid in years and was totally unsuccessful in his attempts to chase down women. Everybody was in a different place in their heads and nobody was getting anywhere.

The fact is you don’t have to go out to a bar or club to meet single women. It’s not true at all. If you want to, great! I like a nice bar. I really do. But if you’re going out on the weekends, it’s frustrating you, and you keep repeating the same pattern over and over, you need to stop going to those places. You need to reevaluate what you’re doing and where you’re going. It’s time for some change. There are plenty of places you can go on a weekend night where you will meet a lot of other single people that don’t involve massive amounts of overpriced vodka, pumping techno music, and people standing around posing in their club gear. More to come on some fun alternative places for you to go on weekend nights in a future blog…

I say this ALL the time before we go out for the evening at our boot camps and seminars, and I’ll say it again: If you don’t actually like to go out at bars, don’t go out at bars to try to meet women. Don’t do it. Just like if you don’t like to read books, don’t hang around Barnes and Noble trying to meet women. If you don’t like basketball, don‘t get basketball season tickets to try to meet women at games. You get the picture…

Now get out there, have a great time this weekend, and enjoy one of our last weekends of summer!

I’m using the term ‘lover’ generically, but you could fill in the blank with someone’s husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend. Let’s use the term ‘lover’ here though.

What does a lover do? A lover loves somebody unconditionally. A lover nurtures and makes the other person feel safe, loved, desired, heard and wanted.

A lover can be your best friend, and technically should be your best friend. Your lover is somebody with whom you can look forward to being and spending private, intense, beautiful and warm moments.

Television is an escape. A better escape is to spend every night drifting off into your lover.

Maybe one night just drift off into each other’s eyes — looking at each other, connecting, talking, and being open and honest with no judgment. Really just embrace each other’s desires, warmth and words.

Another night, maybe just touch one another. Explore each other in ways you you haven’t before, or in ways only you know makes the other person feel amazing.

Think about it. What would you rather do — watch a movie, or spend two hours loving your lover into intense, erotic, totally ‘letting go’ moments?

Maybe another night you ask yourself what your lover really loves, and then you do it for them. That might mean rubbing their head or giving them a back massage or rubbing their feet. Who knows? Some of us are physical, and some of us are mental and just want to be listened to by our lover.

Foreplay

It really comes down to asking yourself this: Would you rather watch television, or would you rather get lost in your lover emotionally, sexually and physically? We have such limited time in our day, and nothing feels better than to let go fully with your lover.

Can you even let go? Do you even know how to let go?

Do you dial into your lover’s energy on a daily basis? Do you think to yourself, “What can I do for my lover today?”

When you have sex, do you give 120%? Do you totally succumb to what your lover is doing, or are you in your head so you start thinking about things?

Letting go with someone and succumbing to them is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. In fact if you did that every single night, then all the tension and the battles and the fights would release.

Respecting each other is very important. You can never have an equal relationship if one person feels less respected or less desired. In that case, you will have a relationship that will not work the way EITHER of you desire.

You know, when you’re dating someone and all of a sudden the shit hits the fan, suddenly you’re alone. The person you were really jazzed about blows you off, the relationship is over and done with, and you’re back to the starting line again.

Hmm, for a lot of you guys, the starting line means you’ve got to do it all over again. That means you’ve got to go back to the days of jerking off, the days of going into the Walgreen’s looking all dejected as you reach for that KY Jelly. Isn’t it amazing how when you’re in a relationship you strut into Walgreen’s and you look at the guy and go, “I’ll take the KY Jelly,” and you say it in this booming American Idol voice. But yet when you’re home alone whacking it constantly, you crawl into Walgreen’s with your shoulders rolled forward, thinking to yourself, “God, I hope no one I know sees me buying the KY because they know I’m just jerking it every single night…”

The reason why you’re jerking it (or if you’re a woman you’re riding Bob, your Battery Operated Boyfriend) so much is because you got rid of your backup person. You burned your bridges. Backup person is that cool person that you can be with sexually, but you both know you’ll never get involved in a relationship because you just aren’t relationship material for each other. But damn, they are good in bed and they’re a lot of fun! It’s easy and it’s great, and you both have a good time, and you know exactly how to get each other off.

Bob The Vibrator Lover

So when you start dating someone you really like, never tell another person you’re seeing that they can go to hell because now you’ve found somebody you want to be with. Because you never can predict the future. Say, “Hey Backup person, I’ve started seeing someone who I really enjoy right now, someone I can actually see myself being in a relationship with. I’m going to give it a shot with them, but let’s not completely forget about each other, let’s stay cool with each other because you never know what could happen.”

When I was single, I always had that backup person just in case. Of course we were completely open with each other about where we stood and I never had her hoping it was anything more than it was. And you know what, I was also somebody else’s backup person. I had no problem being used and abused in that way, because it was far better than walking with that dejected look into Walgreen’s to go get a bottle of KY, or when you’re in a hotel you get all pissed off because there’s no hair conditioner or lotion sample for you to use so you can jerk off in a hotel bed.

Bottom line is: backup girl and backup boy. They’re fun. They’re available. And they’re always free and ready until they’re in a relationship of their own. So today I’d like you to share your backup stories. No, I don’t want to know about your jerk-off sessions alone in the Holiday Inn on Route 46 when you went to that convention in New Jersey a few years ago.

I want to know about backup boy and backup girl today.

Several clients who come to us are essentially reformed Pick Up Artists, and we spend a lot of time with them deprogramming their brains from the PUA techniques they learned, and getting them to start over and learn how to be as real and sexually mature as possible.

A few weeks ago, David and I were out coaching two different clients on two separate days. Knowing that I’m great at meeting people in bars (and it’s all about being social in situations where you feel most comfortable), each of the clients asked me the same question: is there a difference between meeting women in bars at night, and meeting women during the daytime as you go about your day?

But before I answered the question, each of the guys made the assumption that it’s much different at night time, because women don’t want to talk to you in bars.

“Really?” I asked. “How so?” They each told me that when you’re out at night, you have to come up with really funny stories to keep the women you’re talking to entertained, and you also have to touch them on their arms and on their back to show that you’re interested and get them attracted to you.

“Well…maybe that’s why these women don’t want to talk to you,” I said.

Here’s the deal guys: you don’t have to be the entertainer, and you sure as shit don’t have to go around in bars touching women. You don’t have to touch them on their arms, and you don’t have to touch them on their back like a creepy Pick Up Artist. Keep it up, and the only thing you’ll be touching is yourself at 3 am, thinking about how many women you fondled at the bar that night. Sick.

How To Meet Women In Bars

An attractive man does not go around fondling women in the bar. An attractive man does not need to grab a woman’s waist to let her know that he is interested in her. An attractive man knows how to communicate straight from his mind, with open ears and warm eye contact. An attractive man is sensitive to what she is feeling because he is genuinely interested in her, and senses whether she is going to be receptive to his touch or not.

When a guy can’t communicate who he is and what he’s all about, he’ll go around the room like Mr. Gropey, groping the women he wants to go out with and wondering why they’re all repelled by him. Seriously, cut that shit out. You look like the creepy bar molester. A woman is either going to be attracted to you or she’s not, and no amount of you putting your grubby paws all over her will change her mind. What you need to do is work on yourself more, and learn how to express yourself and say what’s on your mind, instead of worrying like a PUA about when to touch her on the nape of her neck or whatever.

So back to the question: is there a difference to going out and meeting people at night to meeting people during the course of the day? Basically the answer to that question is no, as long as you have a strong mindset, you believe in yourself, and you make sure you’re actually enjoying yourself.

I have a confession to make: I went out last night. And I got really, really drunk. So drunk in fact that I decided to leave my girlfriend stranded at the place we were at and took a cab home by myself. And I was keeping all her money and her ID in my pocket. Don’t ask me why. Not the smartest decision I’ve made in my life. Like I said……I was drunk.

So here’s to making not-so-smart decisions while wasted. Let’s hear from you guys. Ever made any stupid drunk decisions? I certainly have my fair share.

I think it’s ok to go out once in a while and just get really drunk if that’s what you want. I honestly think that it’s fine, as long as you understand what you’re doing, you can control yourself, and you keep your lifestyle balanced. For me, I do it like once every month. About once a month, duty calls and I get the urge to just go out and get shitfaced with my friends. I like to call it the male version of getting my period. Other than that I’m not a huge drinker other than a beer or a couple glasses of wine with dinner. Wait a second I sound like functioning alcoholic.

But one of the biggest mistakes that guys who are dating can make is when they decide to go out at night and mingle with friends, to go out and meet new women, is that they end up getting really drunk. And they do it every time. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with having a few drinks here and there. But if you’re out there trying to meet new women to date, and you’re choosing bars as the place to do it, don’t get hammered every time you go out. It sounds so obvious, but when you’re in a bar all night it’s actually really easy to get carried away and have one pint or seven too many.

Why Drinking Prevents You From Hooking Up

Guys, here’s a tip: NEVER use alcohol as a way to get up the courage to go approach and talk to a woman at a bar. Never. There’s a fine line between “social lubricant” and “liquid courage”.

You see a cute girl at the bar you’d like to talk to. You don’t really know what to say. But you’ve been reading this blog and learning from David so you already know that there is no best thing to say. You’re going to just go up and say hi. But you need another drink first. So you go hang with your buddies and have another round. Five rounds and two hours later: it’s last call, you forgot about the cute girl and you’re standing there with your buddies like a sloppy mess, or you finally did go talk to the cute girl, but you were tipsy and she wasn’t, and the conversation didn’t go so well because you couldn’t really communicate.

Don’t make it a habit to guzzle down some liquid courage before you can start a conversation. Use real courage. When you get that urge, it’s time to “just say no.” Use real courage, and once you can do it sober, meeting new women in bars very casually will start getting so easy and fun for you.

Alcohol will never help you grow balls. Getting drunk once in a while can be fun, but understand it for what it is. It’s not going to help you meet women. And if you have in the past, it’s because you got lucky. That’s why they call it “getting lucky.” Two drunk people basically bumped into each other on accident, looked at each other, and said, “Let’s get it on!”

So if you’re a habitual drinker that’s my challenge to you this weekend: if you’re going out tonight, switch it up a little. Drink soda for the entire night and see how many women you can talk to. Make it fun. Use it as a conversation opener. Go up to random people, say, “Hey, I’m trying out a new social experiment. I usually drink when I go out to bars, but my conversations are always a little hazy. So tonight I’m drinking apple juice like a little kid and I’m seeing if my conversations are any different. And I’m going to entertain myself by finding the most drunk people in here and watching them interact.” Then lean back and let the conversation unfold.

I guarantee you one thing: you won’t be the last drunk guy looking around with his dick in hand as the lights come up for last call.

Well, if he’s into the woman he’s with, what he’s really thinking is, “When can we do this again? Man, that was great! I’d love to do this again, it’ll be even better next time!” They’re actually looking forward to it.
I know when I have great sex, I’ll lay next to my woman and I’ll think to myself, “Man, I really want to do this again.” Or, “I wish I had lasted just a little bit longer because it felt so good and I wanted to keep going.”

When I was younger, I used to always think about whether or not she had an orgasm: “Hmm, I think she did, but I’m not quite sure… I can ask her. But wait, if I ask her, I’m going to sound really wimpy like I don’t know what I’m doing… argh.” A lot of men will think, “Did she come? Did she enjoy it? Was I good enough for her? Was I better than her previous lovers? Did she have as much fun as I did?”
Sex really is a blast. In years and years of having sex, I’ve learned one thing: Communication is the key. It’s okay to ask her, “How was that for you?” But not like an interrogation, like a scientist taking notes. The best way to ask her is to say, “Babe, I really enjoyed that. How was it for you? Is there anything you want to do differently next time? I really wanted to last longer because it felt so good.”

Londons Great Spring Weather

Men’s minds travel in many different directions after sex. Granted, there’s the one-night stand where the man wants to do the Coyote Ugly, where he wants chew off his arm so he can leave without waking her up, where he basically just wished she’d turn into a remote control, where he hopes and prays that she doesn’t want to spend the night. Sure, there are those moments. And in those moments, and if both of you understand that you’re having a one-night-stand, the best thing to do is look at each other after sex and just say, “All right, let’s be honest. There was a lot of passion, a lot of heat, but we don’t really know each other. Is this a one-night-stand we’re having?”

You can laugh. Talk about it. Most of all, be honest, be receptive, and tell each other where you’re at right now. Don’t promise the phone number when you know you’re never going to call her. Be a man about it.
Women: as men, our minds go so many different directions when it comes down to sex. The bottom line is that if we’re into you, we want to know if you enjoyed it as much as we did. We want to know if there’s anything else we can do to make the next experience with you even hotter and more erotic.

A friend of mines girlfriend thought that this would be an awesome blog for all the men and women.

So she took the time to write this up for all of you.

So straight from her mouth to all of you here is the unknown massage therapist.

Thanks David and hello all of his readers.

Here is how to give an amazing erotic massage that will drive her crazy.

The only thing that tops a massage is an EROTIC sensual massage, and that is where we are going to go with this today. Erotic pleasure brought on by the sensations one feels when their skin is center focus. Your skin is the largest organ of the body with thousands of nerve endings and the touch stimulates all of your senses. Before we get into the steamy specifics there are some important things that need to be tended to. I will keep the details short and to the point on this part?:

1. Please make sure your nails have no jagged edges that can ruin your efforts to please.

2. Have your massage oil warming in a warm bowl of water so it is a pleasurable sensation (Oil is a MUST for a great massage. Water based oils are preferred, containing NO Nonoxynol-9 which can be an irritant to the skin). Keep it close by at all times because you will need it for continual lubrication for a smooth massage.

3. You may want some “edible” oil for later on your tongue can work massaging erogenous zones.

4. When you are giving a massage of any type, IMPORTANT: NEVER break contact with your partner’s skin. Once you have started the massage, keep that connection with your partner at all times.

5. Create a sensual environment from the start. Light some candles, maybe some erotic incense of your choice or some Lavender oil heating in a burner (very sensuous and very relaxing).

6. Turn the phone off. Draw the blinds. Lock the door. NO DISTRACTIONS!

7. Last but surely not least – MUSIC! You can purchase soothing spa CDs at any music store. Try to make sure it will continually play. You certainly don’t want to have to get up to take care of the music flaws.

8. TAKE YOUR TIME and BE GENTLE! So important! This is meant to be a slow process that builds into such uncontrollable sexual desire for both of you the end result will leave you both breathless.

9. You should both have a glass of water, wine, or something sweet to sip.

Lets get started shall we?

Men, your first task is to have your partner strip to her birthday suit. Have her lay on the floor face down. Put a soft blanket down. You need to be able to eventually reach every part of her body without effort. Place a sheet over her back. It is very sensual as you move down in the massage, to slide the sheet down as you work your way down. NO body part will be left untouched.

Now, take your warm oil and oil yourself up to begin with, where she can watch! You will be using your hands yes, but you will be wanting your arms and chest oiled up nicely. That alone is a turn on, so you are off to a great start only to get better as you go!

Take a good amount of oil in your hands. Rub them together to further warm it. Gently, start by gliding with smooth strokes using your whole hand, over the neck and shoulders, down and up the arms. Make your movements rhythmic in motion working together in a continual synchronization. Remember not to lose contact at any time.

Work your way down the back, now moving into longer deeper strokes. Continue this method using you body for pressure and not the strength of your sexy arms we love to see all oiled up! Lightly press your chest up against her back, letting other parts of your body lightly skim against her. The sensations of your skin brushing against her are so stimulating! Kiss her jaw lightly then her neck working down her back soft and slow. You can lick the lower back in circular motion, moving up a you lightly breath your warm breath up her spine until you get to her ear lobe where you can kiss lightly to drive her wild. By this time, I guarantee she is HOT and you are getting there if you haven’t gotten to that point yet. Haven’t lost contact yet have you? Nice!! Move back down, only now you are massaging her butt. Make sure her legs are open where you can lightly skim up and down her inner thighs. You want her squirming? Inner thighs touched sensuously will cause just that reaction. It is an involuntarily reaction of pure pleasure and stimulation!

Time to roll her over onto her back. Make sure you keep a hand on her. Is the oil plentiful? If not, grab it with one hand and lubricate her chest in between her breasts. Gently massage her shoulders working down her arms and back up. Skim over her breasts with the palm of you hand only with plenty of oil. You can stop there for a few circular motions over her already erect nipples. Does she love it? Move on then. OOHH why did you leave there! Now is when she is feeling sensations in her nipples that are dying for stimulation, as well as her vaginal area. It is feeling hot, certainly wet and yearning for you to penetrate at this point, BUT not quite yet. She is more than likely breathing hard and gasping every time you kiss her stomach down to her inner thighs. Now you should know where that G-Spot is—yes? Good, because while you have her leg up on your shoulder kissing the inner thigh, you are going to massage the outer lips of her vagina—lightly skimming. Go in and gently massage her G-spot. Now, whew it is almost more than a woman can bear! Find just the hood of her clit and GENTLY move it side to side. Experiment and watch her reactions as to where and how what you are doing is working. When you get that gasp of pleasure, stay there for awhile. Glide that other hand up to stimulate her nipples that are SOOOO in need of attention.

By now she NEEDS and WANTS and HAS TO HAVE the feeling of your erection. Just tease in and out a LITTLE in and out. Okay! Enough! Please take her hips and turn her over on her knees. Kiss her back, and fondle her nipple as you enter her vagina slowly. Keep teasing. Right now, you are hitting that G-spot again with your penis as long as you don’t go too far in.

OKAY! No more teasing! You should know how to take it from here…