It’s Monday. All right, so I missed with my Titans prediction. I did, however, hit with everyone else — which puts me at 11-1 now for the season going into tonight’s game. For that game, I predict the Vikings will beat the Packers.
11-1 . . . I am pretty impressed! What really does not impress me, though, are men who hang out with strippers and who pay strippers to hang out with them.
We had friends in town this past weekend who stayed at the 4 Seasons Hotel. We went there last night to hang out in the hotel’s hot tub.
There was a middle-aged man alone in the hot tub when we arrived. He seemed like a nice man. About three minutes later, though, three bimbos with long nails came bearing drinks and speaking in Paris Hilton-like sentences.
The man started talking about his hotel room and other such things. The women immediately started “wow-ing” about his big balcony. Then they got on the phone with their friends and started going on and on about how they got their nails done at the 4 Seasons and about the guy’s huge balcony.
You know, anyone can open their wallet and invite three bimbo strippers to their room. Unless you’re going to have the sex of your life, though, being forced to sit and listen to these women is just painful. I swear, Daphne had more to say than these women did.
Why is this such a thrill for guys? Here is this guy hanging out with a group of women who can only manage to speak in Paris Hilton type half-sentences. I never understand this.
Of course I get a guy liking younger women, but there’s certainly younger intelligent women he could find who would like him. The conversations they were having were so boring. No one was listening to each other. All I can think is, “Why?”
I know men, and I have coached men, who have done this. The sex is never any good, because the women aren’t into it. They just want the cash or the fringe benefits (like getting their nails done at the 4 Seasons).
What really happens is that the women just try to get the guy to come as quickly as possible. So who is winning here? It’s just so gross.
I’ve had casual sex, but I’ve never paid for sex. Maybe I’m just more evolved and maybe there are just less evolved people in this world . . . and that’s fine.
It’s fine if you’re the type of guy who looks at women like a piece of meat, is only interested in getting his dick stroked, and couldn’t care less about an emotional connection. That’s not the life I want. That’s not the life I teach.
When we were sitting in the hot tub, the man kept looking at me and smiling. It was like validation for him, as if he was saying with his smile “Look, I have three hot bimbos with me in the hot tub!” I ignored his smiles.
If you want to impress me, impress me with who you are as a person. I’m not impressed that you can get three strippers into a hot tub. That doesn’t impress me in the least.
While he was sharing a second grade-level conversation with those women, we were having a deep conversation about life. So why does he think I’d be impressed that he has three bimbos with him? Sometimes I’m embarrassed by my own gender.
So this kind of guy doesn’t impress me, nor does the guy who whips out the black American Express card at dinner. Why should I pay a couple thousand dollars a year to have a credit card that does the exact same thing as my free one?
I’m also not impressed by the guy who pulls in front of the coffee house in his Lamborghini but doesn’t bother to put money in the meter because he doesn’t care about getting a ticket. He figures, what’s a measly $60 to him.
If you want to impress me, get deep and tell me who you really are. I couldn’t care less about all this surface stuff.
Oh, and by the way Mr. Hot Tub from last night, I know you’re reading this today because I dropped my business card on your towel (and human intuition definitely wins out every time). This blog is dedicated to you.
I guarantee you got nothing out of last night, except a thinner wallet and maybe an orgasm. In reality, though, you are just as lonely today as you were yesterday.
So how do all of you feel about men who use their wallets on prostitutes and fancy cars just to prove how successful they are?
If you want to know know how to meet women who want to hang out with you, check out this video:
Home Bed Advantage By David Wygant
Let me ask you a question. When you have sex with someone, does there need to be home field advantage?
Can you be the away team or do you need to be the home team? Do you absolutely need to wrestle in the sheets on your own turf?
There have been times in my life when I preferred to be the visiting team, so that when it was over I could hop on the bus and leave. Nothing is worse after having sex with someone than having to spend the night with them when you don’t want to. So in those situations, being the visiting team is great!
You leave and you can go out for a drink after the game on your way home. That is one benefit of being the visiting team. Another benefit is that you can soil someone else’s sheets, so that when your maid comes she won’t have a heart attack.
There are some problems though with being the visiting team. There have been times when I have been the visiting team when the woman didn’t mind having sex with her cat on the bed. It kind of freaked me out a little bit.
There I was slowly working my way down her body . . . only to be brushed up against by a purring pussy cat. I said “Can we do something about this cat?” She said “Ignore him.” It’s hard to get excited though when puss in boots is staring directly at my groin.
Another time when I was the visiting team, the woman had one of those yippee dogs. Now, this next part I am not making up. When she started climaxing, rover started howling. I wasn’t quite sure what the connection was . . . and I didn’t really want to hang around and find out.
There are other problems with being the visiting team. They may not have anything good to eat in the fridge. They may get up at 6:00 in the morning when you are used to getting up at 9:00.
I generally prefer to be the home team. I have a dog. She doesn’t howl when someone orgasms and she does not get up on the bed for a three way unless invited. She does, however, need to be walked.
Not only that, but being the home team certainly has advantages. You can brush your teeth with your own toothbrush instead of using your finger. The musical choices will always be your own. There is something I just don’t find attractive about a woman who plays Guns ‘N Roses to get off.
Being the home team also gives you some other benefits. It’s your own bed, so you know the exact spot you can lay in to fall asleep. Also, if you can’t sleep with this stranger in your bed, there is always the Internet to cruise in the middle of the night or a good book to read. Have you ever had insomnia being the visiting team and you had to read Cosmopolitan and Glamour all night?
Another benefit about being the home team is that you can actually create the mood. If you are not into incense burning or sage leaves being waved all around the house, you can do what I do and just light some nice candles and play some music.
Being the home team gives you the advantage of creating any mood you want. Plus, all your supplies are nearby.
The only problem about being the home team is if you do not want the other person to stay after the main event, and you look like an asshole kicking them out. So, as they say in sports, you have to suck it up for the good of the team.
So what do you prefer? Do you prefer to be the home team, the visiting team, or are you like the Super Bowl and you prefer to play on neutral ground like a hotel?
Oh, and it’s different if you are in a relationship. Once you give a drawer to someone, and tell them that your field is their field and your stadium is their stadium, it’s a whole different thing.
So for the occasional fling or booty call, do you prefer to be the home team or the visiting team and why?
So you’re in a relationship, and you do any of the following things:
• After getting a little tipsy in a bar, you swap spit and play some serious tonsil hockey with the hottie with whom you did a few shots
• You go to a happy ending rub ‘n tug massage parlor and, wow what am I doing, the female rubber tugs at you at you at the end of the massage.
• You go to a strip club, and the stripper grinds against you leaving a deposit on your jeans.
• You’re a woman who at a bachelorette party slowly kisses this cute guy you met that night.
• You are on vacation, and you perform oral sex but don’t have intercourse.
So where am I going with all this? What defines cheating . . . and what actions do or do not constitute cheating?
Some people think cheating only occurs if intercourse happens. Other people think cheating is when you just think about it.
Some people say just making out with someone is not cheating. Ask any man who goes to a rub ‘n tug, and he’ll tell you that he’s not cheating. He’ll say that’s not cheating . . . it’s a massage.
So today, we’re going to open up the forum and see what you guys think. What is cheating to you?
That’s the question of the day.
I want to correspond with all of you. I want to hear your thoughts on what constitutes cheating.
I once had this funny little thing that read: “It’s not cheating if you do it in another time zone.” This meant that if you live in New York City and you travel to Los Angeles, it’s 8:00 pm. Los Angeles time and 11:00 pm. New York time. So you basically have three hours to fool around before it’s 11:00 pm your time.
It’s like time travel. If you keep your watch on eastern time, then it’s like you never cheated (sort of like the five second rule – something falls on the floor and you can eat it if it hasn’t been there longer than five seconds).
Instead of the “five second rule,” this is the “three hour rule.” Other people have a different version of this rule: “It’s not cheating if you don’t speak the language.”
People cheat for all sorts of reasons. Let’s hear your definition of what cheating is, and then another day we’ll talk about why people cheat.
I don’t agree with either of the rules above. You can rationalize it any way you want, but my opinion is that the minute your lips lock with another person, you’ve cheated.
What’s your opinion on this issue . . . and don’t hold back! Looking forward to this discussion all day!
A blog on preventing One-Night Stands by David Wygant
Recently a female client of mine asked me “David, How do you prevent a one-night stand?” This answer is not going to make people happy.
As readers of the blog, you know that I am not a person who believes in rules. There is no right time to have sex, whether on the first date or on the tenth date. There is also no way to prevent a one-night stand.
You may date somebody for a few weeks, get along with them, have sex, and then either you or your partner realize that you just don’t have that chemistry in bed. Such a discovery turns a 3 week mini-relationship into a one-night stand. Ordinarily the longer you wait to sleep with someone, the less chance there is that it will be a one-night stand. But, on occasion, you ‘ll sleep with someone after waiting and it just doesn’t work out.
I can hear the thoughts churning in your head. “But David, usually the first time you have sex with someone isn’t that good . . .” This is usually true, but it is also true that there is usually chemistry. Even if the sex is not mind-blowing, usually someone will want to do it again IF the chemistry is there. But if the chemistry is not there, it may very well turn into a one-night stand.
Here’s another thing. The more open a discussion and conversation there is after you have sex with somebody, the better you’re going to feel about what just happened. You may rush into bed with somebody, and it may just be a one-night stand, but if you talk about it right after or the next day, then both of you are going to be acting like mature adults and realize that both of you were just in desperate need of sex.
A lot of woman have trouble having a one-night stand, as do a lot of men. If you end up having a one-night stand, embrace it. Don’t guilt yourself about it, and be okay about it. Keep in mind, the reason why dating is so frustrating is that there are no guarantees in anything you do. So realize that if someone “one-night stands” you, it doesn’t mean that you are not hot, sexy or amazing to be with . . . it just means that you were a one-night stand.
Dripping, Oozing, Bubbling And Gooing by David Wygant
Do you desire when you go out with a woman to leave her dripping, oozing, gooing and gushing with sexual desire for you?
Do you desire to have women calling you throughout the day describing erotic thoughts they are having about what they want to perform on you that night?
If you answered yes to both of these questions . . . then read on.
So how does a man get a woman oozing, bubbling and gushing with desire for him sexually? Do men need to master the art of dirty talk to make this happen? Does a man need to learn how to seduce a woman when he first meets her to get her gushing with desire? Nope.
All a man needs to understand is one thing: the art of seduction is entirely about how to engage a woman’s mind.
If you can engage and turn on a woman’s mind, and make her totally intrigued by who you are . . . then she is going to start oozing, gushing and bubbling all over for you.
Men ask me all the time why I am able to connect with women on such a higher level than they can? I tell them it’s because when I meet a woman, I’m truly interested in who she is and what she’s all about.
When I meet a woman, I don’t try to sell myself to her. I speak to her like she’s a person . . . like somebody who I don’t know but somebody about whom I really want to learn. If a woman intrigues me, I’m going to ask her a ton of questions. I’m going to listen to everything she has to say, and I’m going to take the conversation deeper into her mind and soul.
I don’t just desire women like the GEICO caveman looks at women, i.e., as someone to just get off in. When I meet a woman, I actually want to connect with her. I want to see if we have a potentially deep connection. I want to learn things about her. I want to find out what she’s all about. I want to see if we have things in common.
I want to build upon each encounter I have with a woman, and look forward to the next time we’re going to meet. If I’m interested in a woman, she knows it. No games. No bullshit.
I’ll text her the next day. In the text, I’ll tell her I had a great time the night before and I’ll tell her when we’re hanging out again. I’ll call her and take the conversation from the day before even deeper.
See, I want to connect with a woman. I want her to be oozing, gushing, gooing and salivating.
The art of getting a woman so turned on sexually that she just wants to ravage your body from head to toe, is to turn on her mind and intrigue her with such confidence that you become different than all the other guys that are salivating over her.
A woman doesn’t want a dripping, drooling fool following her around like a puppy dog. She desires a man who knows who he is and what he’s all about.
A woman also desires a man who’s not afraid to be vulnerable. A vulnerable man is a strong man. He doesn’t give a shit what he says because he’s speaking from the truth, and that makes him strong.
A man who makes a woman bubble, gush and ooze with sexual desire is a man who challenges a woman’s mind, body and soul. The next time you desire to get a woman to ooze with sexual energy for you, try to be the most powerful you that you can be . . . and don’t worry about the insecure chatter that can plague your mind.
Now that you have her in your bedroom, what do you do with her now? That is, what do you do with her besides obviously ripping her clothes off and doing some serious penetration which, by the way, without foreplay is the wrong thing to do.
But this blog is not about foreplay…at least not in the physical sense. It’s about foreplay in the music sense. Whatever your lovemaking skills are, either good or bad, all of us can use a little help when it comes down to setting the mood.
The first thing you need to do in your bedroom is to make sure she doesn’t trip over the wires of your Xbox on the way to your bed. Nothing turns a woman off more than Madden NFL 08 playing on the tv screen right before you’re about to do the nasty. What she’d rather do is walk into a den of iniquity. If you desire to hear her “ooh and ahh” before you get her naked, here are a few quick suggestions to get her really turned on to getting naked:
Make sure your bed has clean sheets. If you can see the outline of your body on your sheets, it’s time to clean the sheets. Also, invest in a good pair of 500 or more thread count sheets. You want her to feel how great it is to lay in that bed of yours. It’s all about creating the mood and, of course, getting her to come back for more.
Buy some really nice scented candles and light them before she goes into your bedroom, thus setting the mood.
A nice bottle of massage oil by the bed is always a nice added touch. Not only will this make her think she’s going to get a massage, but chances are she might massage you.
And, of course, MUSIC!!! You want to create a soundtrack for your sexual encounter. You want to do this because whenever she hears those songs when she’s not with you, she’s going to think of all the fun things you did to her in the candlelit darkness of your bedroom.
Let’s talk more about the music. Don’t be a cliché and put on Marvin Gaye, the seductive crooner who had a great run. You need to dig deeper and come up with something more original, thus once again distinguishing yourself from all the other guys.
So for instance, let’s say this is the first time you’re having sex with her. You need to play your “first date soundtrack.” Play something that you know she’s going to like. If you’ve been paying attention to the details in your conversations with her, you already know what kind of music that is. By playing music she likes, she’s going to be very comfortable in the bedroom. Remember, the first time she has sex with you she’s going to be nervous, so she wants something soothing. That’s why I talk about the sheets, the candles and the music playing in the background.
If this is someone with whom you’re already in a relationship and you want some “quickie sex,” the music you choose should be upbeat. Choose something like the music of The Killers. Do not play Paris Hilton singing if you remotely expect her to get moist. One last forget about it….Never ever play Brittany Spears. Look I can have a sense of humor it keeps me happy. Sing that last line out loud to yourself…It Keeps Me Happy….What TV show played that song over and over again in the 70s?
Think hard. Heres’ a hint: David Cassidy when he was the lead singer for Americas favorite bus band The Partridge Family. What a show! Who knew that Danny Bonaduce the fiery red head would later turn into a drug addicted hooker chasing crazy DJ. Then again what else do child stars turn into besides drug addicts and drunks.I always see Nicholas from Eight is Enough shopping at my local Whole Foods. He was once arrested for stealing drugs from a Longs.
Gotta love living in Los Angeles!!!
Anyway back to the music.
Let’s say you’re already in a relationship with someone and it’s the first time you’re going to have sex with her. I like to play either Buddha Bar CD’s or Hotel Costes music, i.e., kind of an eclectic mix of world music that’s relaxing and soothing. You don’t want to put on Kansas “Left Overture” or Boston’s “More Than A Feeling” the first time you’re having sex with someone you’ve been romancing.
So keep that iPod full of all types of music for all types of sexual encounters. When in doubt, if you’re a voyeuristic person hire a DJ to mix your next sexual event. And if you took that last line seriously, I know a few good swinger parties at which you can hang out.
The other night I was watching an old movie on television while my current shag spooned me on the couch. My mind soon wandered away from the plot and towards a pleasing awareness that my lover’s body was lined up perfectly behind mine (as in, my butt was snuggled up in his crotch). Barely dressed on this hot summer evening, I realized how easy it would be for him to just, oh, slip it in. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted it. I reached behind me and grabbed for him, certain that I was about to experience some sweet lovin’. But instead of following my lead, he stopped my hand and whispered in my ear, “Shhh….let’s watch the movie.”
The movie? The movie! When, I ask you, did sex become secondary? (And what good is a f@#@ buddy if he isn’t going to f@!@ you?) I started thinking about the good old days when sex was new, exciting and sweet and easy as a convenience story Slurpy. Before laptops, before Blackberries, before cell phones, before compulsive flossing, before to-do lists, there was sex. Pure, horny, hard core, free, purposeless, joyful sex. We had sex because it was there. The way the early American explorers went West. Go West, young man, because it’s there! Come DO me, because I’m here!
I remember when I was 18, my college boyfriend and I would skip class, get high, turn on the Led Zeppelin and shag for hours on end. I still remember what it felt like – how there could be nothing better, nothing more interesting or worthwhile than sex. How, after all those years of frustrated teen-age fantasizing, it was finally real, in front of me. A beautiful naked man with whom I could do anything I wanted. An enthusiastic partner in experimentation who had nowhere else he needed or wanted to be. There was no such thing as performance anxiety – if the sex wasn’t perfect, who cared! We were going to have it again in 20 minutes anyway.
In those heady days, my entire wardrobe consisted of his white Hanes t-shirts. My official hairstyle was Bed Head. Food was mostly unnecessary, unless we had the munchies. If the TV was on, it was tuned to Whitesnake music videos or Hart to Hart re-runs, which somehow only made us want to have more sex. This is what I miss.
I’m curious, is it just me, or has it been a while for you since sex felt like that? As grown-ups, we want sex of course, but we also take it for granted. We’ve had it before, we’ll have it again. It’s kind of old hat. We have schedules and responsibilities, so sex gets shoved to the bottom of the to-do list. Sometimes it even gets bumped to the next day. I may not be 18 anymore, and neither are the guys I date (for the most part), but I want sex to feel like Christmas morning again. And I think it’s possible – for all of us. Guys, grab your girl and take her away for 36 hours. Pack no clothes. Bring the weed, or better yet, the Viagra. And see if you can’t practice the lost art of sex for sex’s sake. You’ll feel 18 again, I swear.
Thanks for the insight Foxy blond.
I must say that after last nights conversation and date, I no longer just want to dry hump this woman for 4 hours…I want to indulge in her body for 36 straight hours (and trust me Foxy Blond, I don’t need the Viagra!).
If you are someone who has trouble with sex then I suggest you stop reading this right now.
Recently a female client of mine was on match.com. This man emailed her, and they decided to IM each other that same night. After a few IM’s, he asked if she had a web cam. You know what’s coming next…
When the web cam popped up on her computer screen, there he was: buck naked and stroking his Johnson!
Men, this doesn’t turn women on!
Pictures of your penis and pictures of you stroking yourself, without the proper mental and verbal foreplay, will make a woman think you’re the caveman from the GEICO Insurance commercials.
In order to relate well to women, you need to understand that they don’t see a naked man and say “Wow! I need to have that right now” without the proper mental foreplay. If you want to meet a woman online and get some quick sex, then you need to understand that writing and IM’ing lots of subliminal messages is what will get her more turned on and increase your chance of some great phone sex and real sex.
She’s seen many boners. She wants to know that the man behind the boner is worth getting to know. So in order to become the intriguing ‘man behind the boner,’ you need to take your time with any type of phone sex, cyber sex or just plain old seduction.
