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Archive for the ‘Night Game’ Category

 
 

The Worst Idea For Meeting Women

Friday, November 20th, 2009

One week to go until Black Friday, and I am just chomping at the bit to find out what super deals will be out there . . . and how I have to get up at 3:00 a.m. to fight for the one plasma television in the store they put on sale for $529.00. It’s funny how much of a shopping culture we have become, which is evident from the one million websites and television commercials counting down to Black Friday.

Oh well. I am actually really counting the days until Cosmic Saturday. Do you know what that is? Well you’ll have to wait until tomorrow and catch the commercials on my site to find out.

No on to today’s Friday blog . . .

It’s interesting. A lot of people who smoke think it’s a great way to meet people. To them it’s always the easiest way to meet people. Ask any smoker, and they’ll tell you so.

They will tell you that the greatest thing about smoking is that you can always walk up to someone of the opposite sex and ask to bum a cigarette. All you have to do is walk up to someone and say, “Excuse me. Do you have a cigarette?” or “Excuse me. Do you have a light?”

Let me tell you how you are perceived when you use the “Excuse me, do you have a cigarette?” line. You are bumming a cigarette, which means you are a bum. It means that you cannot afford your own cigarette (and hence you have to bum one), or that you are one of those people who are perpetually quitting and thus never buys your own cigarettes.

Either way, it really doesn’t look good. Picture this. There is a woman you want to meet standing across the room. So you decide to walk over and bum a cigarette off her as a means of initiating conversation with her. When you ask her if you can bum a cigarette, you are basically telling her “Listen, I was too cheap to buy my own cigarettes tonight, so I decided I was going to bum, steal and borrow cigarettes from other people.”

Being a non-smoker, and having recently spent some time in Europe, I have to say it’s nice to travel and not have to smell smoke wherever you go. Granted, there are smokers all over the place — outside and puffing away outside the doors of restaurants and so forth.

Here’s something, though, that I always wonder about with smokers. Why do smokers feel like it’s a right to throw their cigarette butts on the ground? You’re basically polluting the Earth.

No, this isn’t one of those blogs where I’m going to talk about saving the planet and the oceans, but why do smokers seem to feel entitled to litter their cigarette butts everywhere. If you look around your average city, there are cigarette butts all over the place.  

Now I know that some of you think it’s wonderful that you can go out there and meet people by asking for a cigarette or a light, but this isn’t a pick up blog about smoking. If it was, the only thing I’d be telling you pickup is cigarette butts.

I’d tell you to get down on your hands and knees and pick up was all the cigarette butts you see on the ground. It’s really disgusting to walk down the street and see all the cigarette butts.

I also love all the gum chewers out there who think the world is one giant ashtray to discard their chewed up wads of gum. When you look down at the ground, it seems like all you see are cigarette butts and old gum. We’ve become inhumane, dirty and disgusting.

Don’t worry. I am still going to tie this into dating, because I know some of you hate when I rant and rave . . . or when I vary even the slightest bit from the topics of pickup and how to meet people.

So the next time you see a smoker throw a cigarette butt down on the ground, I’ve got a great pickup line for you. Say, “Excuse me. Do you realize that thing doesn’t decompose? What gives you the right to throw that butt down on the ground?”

You want to start a relationship off on the right foot. So you might as well start it off arguing.

Intrigue Her The Minute You Walk In A Room

Friday, October 30th, 2009

Do you want to be that guy who walks into a room and women are instantly mesmerized by him? How does that happen? Well, it’s actually very easy!

The first thing to do when you walk into a room is to slow down. A lot of guys will walk into a room very quickly, hustling and making a beeline to the bar or the corner of a room. They somehow feel they need to get there really fast.

What I always tell guys to do is stop when they walk into a room. You frame whatever doorway there is, and if there’s not a doorway then you make a doorway around you.

You stop for two to three seconds, and you look around the room. You scan the room — look left, center, right, right, center, left — so you’re looking at the entire room. People naturally are always looking toward the entranceway of a party or bar to see who is walking in the room.

Not only do you do that, but when you walk in you also make sure you have really good posture. Make sure your shoulders are back and your chest is puffed out. Make sure you’re standing up straight and tall.

Body language is very important. So much of life is based on initial impressions.

So once you walk in a room and you command power (commanding power is standing upright and walking in), then you have to walk through that room slowly. You literally should strut through that room.

Walk through that room at a very slow pace, smile at a woman that you see – make that initial contact. Give her a look directly in her eyes, smile, and ask her “How are you doing tonight?” That’s it.

You can walk away right after you do that, because it is all about how you deliver that smile. If you deliver that smile very strongly — with conviction and with good body language — then she’s going to wonder who you are and will be very intrigued by you.

Next, go directly to your friends (or whoever else you are meeting) and have great body language when you talk to them. People noticed you when you walked into the room. You smiled at the woman and she smiled back at you, and you now have acknowledgment from all of the people who are around you.

When you go to talk to a friend, you make sure that you greet your friend in the same powerful way. Put your hand on his shoulder, shake his hand, look directly in his eyes, and have a very commanding presence.

So not only is body language important, but the speed of your walk is equally important. When you walk into a room slowly, you’re a commanding presence that people will notice. When you walk into a room quickly, you’re hustling into that room so fast that you’re basically just a blur.

You have to be a commanding presence. You may have the body language right, but you’ve got to get the walk right too.

Another important thing to remember is the right body language when you’re talking to a woman. When you are talking to a woman, you need to look directly at her. Your body needs to frame her body. This means that if you’re standing there in front of her, you have to face her directly so you’re mirroring each other.

It’s all in the way that you look at somebody. Once again, a strong, powerful man looks directly into someone’s eyes and shows them who the man is in that situation.

If you have any questions about body language, I suggest you go to YouTube and search for Bill Clinton videos. Bill Clinton has great body language when he speaks.

I know when I’m talking to a room of people, I’m talking to left, center, right. I’m looking directly into people’s eyes to make them feel like I’m connecting with them, which is what people are looking for every time.

You’re Beautiful!

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

So there’s a trend going around. You may have read about it.

There are a bunch of guys that go around and teach the “you’re beautiful” opener or the “you’re really cute” opener. This opener is being taught to guys who want to authentic and real, and these poor guys are forced to go out and approach 40 women a day saying the same “you’re beautiful” line.

What kind of strategy is this? You could almost just stand in the town square walking around in a circle saying to person after person, “You’re beautiful! You’re beautiful! No, really, you ARE beautiful!”

It is about the most ridiculous line I’ve ever heard in my life. Keep in mind that regardless of how nice sounding the sentence is, it is still a line.

Keep in mind, too, that by saying this line out of the blue to a total stranger you are putting the woman completely on the spot. She may be insecure or not want to hear it . . . but she definitely knows you are bullshitting her. She absolutely does.

Another flaw in this whole “you’re beautiful” routine, is that you have no good means of follow up. So you say “You’re beautiful!” to a woman and she responds “Thank you.” Now what? You have nothing else to say because “thank you” gives you nothing to go on to create a conversation.

Canned lines and routines in general are ridiculous, but this particular one is really bad because all it achieves is to leave you standing next to a woman feeling uncomfortable. I had a client once who had tried this routine, and when I asked him how he felt afterwards he told me, “The conversation didn’t go very far and I had no choice but to abruptly end it. It felt embarrassing – from the first moment and I still felt bad afterwards. It’s not natural.”

Of course starting the conversation with a woman with “You’re beautiful!” is going to feel not natural. It’s an awkward way to start a conversation with a complete stranger.

Also, telling a woman she is beautiful the first moment you meet her isn’t helping you connect with her in any way, and isn’t giving you any information (or potential to create a connection with her.

The only connection you create with a woman by this routine is with her physical appearance. Women already know you like their physical appearance if you walked up to them! They’re not stupid. They know if we’re talking to them it’s because we’re intereseted.

Now, don’t mistake what I’m saying. Of course you need an “opener” when you approach a woman. If you are observant of what a woman is doing, and you are 100% confident and authentic about who you are, then you don’t need to use a canned opener. You will have the right opener every time, and women will chase you all day long.

If you want to learn how to authentically approach and attract women, without using canned routines and pickup lines, be sure to check out my “20 Ways To Meet Hotter Women Without Pickup Lines” product.

Become A Soloist

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

It’s time to let the coolness factor die. Let’s say you live in Washington DC. Every Friday and Saturday night, you go to the same bars in Adams Morgan or Dupont Circle, and you hit on the same 24-year-old blond girls.

At 10:30 pm, you decide the place is lame and you go somewhere else. At midnight, the same guy every week says, “Dude, we have to go check out this other place. I heard it is great. My friend just texted me from there…”

It’s like Groundhog Day over and over again. You go home, and you’re always frustrated because you missed talking to the girl that got into the cab as you were walking over to talk to her.

In reality, what you’re doing is chasing the night. You’re miserable and not enjoying yourself, but you go back and do it again the next weekend.

While you’re doing this every weekend, other guys may be sitting around the house with some buddies having a great time barbecuing and drinking some wine. Others may have a great soul-searching weekend. Those guys come back on Monday feeling invigorated and alive.

There is a time when you really have to stop giving into your friend’s bullshit. You have to start saying that enough is enough.

When I was single, some of my best Friday nights included going out to dinner and being home by ten o’clock at night. I never cared about chasing the night. I’d be home at 10:00 pm so I could get up early the next morning and have an amazing Saturday meeting the kind of women I really wanted to meet and doing things I loved to do.

When you finally break up with your friends and stop buying into their bullshit, then you’ll know you really didn’t miss a thing when you get that day after call saying, “Dude, you should have been there!” So start breaking up with your friends and start becoming an independent, free thinker!

I Used To Be You

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

I used to be you. I used to be “that guy.”

I used to be the guy who would go out and get validated by sleeping with women. I used to be the guy who would go out with a bunch of guys every Friday night to cruise bars, try to meet hot women, and try to get as many women’s phone numbers as possible.

I used to be that guy trying to do all that stuff — going from bar to bar and place to place — looking for the best night I could possibly have. I used to be that guy who would actually go home with girls to whom I wasn’t even all that attracted. I mean, they might be okay or kind of a cool girl . . . but they weren’t who I wanted.

The women I really wanted always had left the bar two hours before, but my ego needed validation so I’d be with women I didn’t really want just to be “that guy” who could get women to all my friends. I had to prove to them that I was the guy who could pick up women.

My ego needed that validation. I used to be that guy. I remember being that guy in my 20s.  

I recently had a great coaching session with a guy in his 20s, and we were talking about this very subject. As we were talking and reminiscing, I found myself being amazed thinking about how many women I would have actually connected with if I knew then what I know now.

I would have connected with women on much deeper levels and would have had much better connections with them. I would have met women I wanted to meet, instead of allowing my ego to dictate with which women I’d have sex or ask out on a date.

Back then it didn’t matter to me about the kind of connections I was having as long as my ego was getting validated. As long as I got validated by women, I was able to connect and hook up with women.

A lot of guys are like that. I used to be like that. I used to be that guy. That’s why I totally understand what all you guys are going through and what you really want.

You don’t need to have constant validation, because truly connecting with women is one of the most unbelievable and amazing things you can do. A lot of guys don’t understand that until they get older.

What is so great about coaching you guys and really getting inside your mindset is that I understand where you want to be. I’m so jealous and wish I could be in this mindset I’m teaching you when I was younger, although it’s so great to be able to help you and see all of you get there now.

I used to be you. Now I can help you become the most powerful version of you.

Why Bars Suck

Saturday, September 29th, 2007

The 10 P.M. Rule By David Wygant
nightlife.jpg

I have this concept called “The 10 p.m. Rule.” The biggest mistake men make on a Friday night is . . . going out on a Friday night. Most men tend to gear up for a Friday night that never ever takes off. How many times have you been out on a Friday night where the only thing in your hand at the end of the evening is a bill an an empty bottle of beer?

Women go out on a Friday night to communicate with their friends. Now, granted, if they meet somebody that is a huge bonus. But most of the time, they’re going out to bond.

Men head out on a Friday night with a hunter and gatherer mentality. They go out with the sole purpose of meeting women, and their energy is thus very desperate and pack-like. So what can a man do to assure his success in meeting women on a Friday night? This is where my “10 p.m. Rule” comes into play.

Most men and women after 10 p.m. are drunk and annoyed. The men are drunk . . . and the women are annoyed because they have been fending off the drunks. The later the night gets, the more annoyed a woman becomes with her choice of being out that night. Go into any bar or restaurant in America and take a look at a woman’s energy at 8:00 p.m. … at 9:00 p.m. … at 10:00 p.m. … at 11:00 p.m. … and at midnight. As each hour progresses on a Friday night, she’s had to ward off another drunken, annoying guy who said the same thing as each of the guys who approached before him.

What most men do wrong, is they wait until they get some “liquid courage” and until they can find the right drunken moment to approach a woman. A woman has been standing around fending off men all night long. So by the time you approach, no matter how clever you think your approach is, she’s already heard it.

Let me explain the power of “The 10 p.m. Rule,” and why it works every time. When women go out on a Friday, they tend to be out early and they tend to be with only one or two friends before they meet “the pack.” Sometimes early in the evening, they’re even out alone at a bar or a restaurant waiting for a friend. They’re also at this point very open to what the night might have in store for them, because they have yet to deal with the annoying drunken guy.

The power of the before “10 p.m. Rule” is that you’re going to talk to them when they are most open, plus you will be giving them something to compare to for the rest of the night. That is, you will be the guy she compares against all the drunken idiots she runs into the rest of the night. By getting to her before the parade of annoying drunken men begins, you will become more attractive and intriguing to her as the night progresses (even without you being there!). She will wonder more and more about you, because you are the antithesis of all the guys who are approaching her with the same lines, the same level of drunkenness and the same game.

When I coach a man, I tell him that we’re only going to go out until 10:00 p.m. – 10:30 p.m. on a Friday night, and that he is going to meet the most incredible woman before she even starts her evening. SO . . . let’s go and dive a little deeper into “The 10 p.m. Rule” and why this mindset works so well in terms of meeting women.

It’s 7:00 p.m. on a Friday night and, for argument’s sake, let’s say there’s a woman named Amy who is out at a local restaurant waiting for her friend to arrive. She’s all excited about it being Friday night. No more work. No more screaming boss. Just 48 hours of pure fun starting right then. Her energy and her mind are open to anything.

This is the best time to approach Amy. She’s feeling really good about everything . . . and this is the time when most men tend not to approach, because they’re waiting for the alcohol and the evening to kick in first. This is a big mistake, and where learning “The 10 p.m. Rule” becomes so invaluable.

So here’s Amy standing at a bar, open and ready to hang out with you. So what do you do? You walk directly over to her, and you ask her “Are your friends late too?” By stating the obvious, you will then get her to talk about her friend, and you can have a fun conversation based upon both your friends being late. Plus, you’ll have an exit strategy . . . which is important. Why is an exit strategy important? Having an exit strategy is important, because you are acknowledging and respecting the fact that she is going out with friends . . . which is another thing that guys never do.

So let’s say the conversation with Amy is going well, and then her friend shows up. You need to now close her immediately.

To close her at this point, simply say: “Hey . . . I really enjoyed talking to you. I see your friend’s here, so I’ll let you guys catch up. I have to call my friend and see where he is. Let’s get together next week and have a drink.”

At that point you exchange phone numbers, you tell her to have a great night with her friend, introduce yourself to her friend, and walk away. You have now become the confident guy to whom she will compare all the annoying guys who approach her during the course of the evening. That is, you will be the guy she is wishing she were talking to instead of all the drunken annoying guys who approach her that night. She will also be really happy that she met somebody who was not overtly trying to pick her up.

Now, there’s one final part to this concept . . . this is where “The 10 p.m. Rule” comes into play after all of the above before 10 p.m. things have taken place. You need to text her at 10 p.m. By this time, she will have been dealing with quite a few drunken guys who have annoyed her. So, you want to get back inside her head, make her really jazzed that she met you, and reconfirm her gut instinct that she had about you earlier.

The text that I want you to write is very simple: “It was great meeting you earlier! How’s your night going? :) I’m heading home. Just had dinner with a friend. Let’s talk tomorrow. [your name]”

What you just did is show her that you’re not like the rest of the guys who are out getting drunk and trying to canvass for women. From time to time, I’ve even had a woman text me back and ask me if I’d like to meet her out that night for a drink.

When you do what other guys have not done, you become the man that she desires most – the man against whom she compares all other men she met. Additionally, you’ll get home early, so you can start the next morning meeting women using what I call “The 10 a.m. Rule.” We’ll talk about that another time . .
Both of these concepts are covered in depth in my mens Mastery Series program. This is still one of my favorite ways to meet women.
And all my women readers this works on men as well!!!

Be Cool!

Friday, September 28th, 2007

Be Cool! By David Wygant
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Recently I was having a discussion with a friend of mine, and he asked me “Is it possible for a person to learn how to be cool?”

I looked at my friend, who is 47 years old, and I said “This isn’t high school. You mean you want people to think that you are cool? Are you looking to score with a cheerleader? You want to become one of the popular kids?”

This conversation got me thinking deeper. Life is really like high school. People of all ages walk around and try to be accepted by other people.

When you go to a bar, you always see the group of guys that are “cool.” They are talking to all the women. All the women are talking to them.

When you go to a kegger . . . Oops, I mean a wine and cheese party (which is the same thing for adults), you will see the group of people (men and women) that you know are cooler than everyone in the room. They are the ones chatting everyone up, and people are lining up to talk to them.

So what makes somebody cool?

A lot of people think a shortcut to becoming cool is to dress a certain way. I know fashion is important, and it’s great to look good. How you dress alone doesn’t matter. If you look good but you are feeling insecure, you look like a well-dressed insecure person.

The only way to become cool is to become secure with yourself. When you see a group of people that you think are cool and you think you are not as cool or hip as they are . . . then you are absolutely correct!

What you think about you bring about. Dating and life is all about having the proper mindset. There are no shortcuts to becoming cool. There is no magic pill you can take that will make you instantly cool in other people’s eyes.

You need to believe that everybody you talk to is your equal. You need to start becoming that cool person and engaging others in conversation, instead of waiting for them to engage you in a conversation.

Standing with your hands in your pockets at a grown up keg party hoping people will notice you, is not being cool. Walking around the room and engaging others in conversation is the way for people to notice that you are one of the so-called cool people in the high school of life.

This blog could be a ten page blog on teaching you how to really feel better about yourself so you no longer have cool envy. That is far more, however, than we can cover in this blog today.

If you feel this way about yourself (that you are not one of the “cool” people) and your life is full of excuses, then you need to tap into this audio program I recently created. . This program will help you overcome your fears, and make you part of the in and cool crowd.

The Best Place To Meet Women Is “On Line”

Friday, September 7th, 2007

The Best Place To Meet Women Is “On Line” by David Wygant
bouncers.jpg

The best place to meet women is on line. No, not online on match.com or on Yahoo! Personals . . . but rather while you’re waiting on a line.

We spend so much of our lives waiting on a line. We’re waiting for coffee. We’re waiting at the bank. We’re waiting at the grocery store. We’re always waiting on a line . . . sometimes for one minute and sometimes for two hours.

Do you talk to people while you’re waiting on a line? If the answer is no, then read on because what I’m about to tell you is one of the best time management tools you will ever learn.

As a matter of fact, Microsoft Outlook was thinking of adding this tool to their software for Blackberries. Alright maybe not . . . but you get my point.

The other night I was out with a large group of students doing a bootcamp. We walked by this trendy Hollyweird nightclub. I looked at the line waiting to get in, and I asked my students:

DW: “What do you notice about what people are doing in that line . . .
besides looking pissed off that they have to wait?”

S1: “No one is talking to each other.”

DW: “Exactly! No one is talking to each other while waiting on line to get
into a bar or nightclub . . . waiting to get into a loud, crowded, place
so they can potentially scream in each other’s ears.”

The best conversations you’re going to have are when you’re waiting on line to get into the bar. They will be far better than any you’ll have while you’re inside the bar.

To prove my point, we got on line there and we proceeded to have a conversation with the group in front of us and the group behind us. When it was time to enter the club, the doorman asked me how many we were, and I said that we were seven but that we wanted to wait on line for awhile before going inside.

As each group behind us got to where we were at the front of of the line, we met a whole new group of people. By the time we left that line about twenty minutes later, we’d met and spoken with about forty people! In light of this, let me ask you a few questions:

• How many of you speak to forty people when you’re IN a nightclub?
• How many of you get phone numbers when you’re IN the nightclub?
• How many of you get people to text you as soon as they leave a nightclub to see where you’re hanging out and what line is cool right now?

These are just some of the things that happened to my students and I when we were waiting on line at a trendy Hollywood nightclub.

Since you’re able to speak about the obvious while you’re waiting on line, how silly is it to wait to get inside a loud club before you start talking to people? Whatever your approach is, when you speak to someone while your on line you can always state it with humor. You can always say something like:

“Aren’t we getting too old to hang out on line to get into a crowded nightclub?
This is the best conversation we’re going to have all night. If we met in there,
I’d have to scream in your ear.”

It doesn’t matter what you say. It’s stating the obvious.

I also told my students that if you like someone you meet on line, just close them with this:

Man: “Let’s exchange numbers. If the loud music gets on your nerves,
text me and I’ll let you know where we’re at.”

What you’re doing here is playing the odds. Most women when they go to a nightclub think they’re going to have fun. After about an hour in the nightclub, however, most of them tend to get annoyed. So after about an hour and a half, what you do is text her.

You: “Are you ready to continue our conversation? I enjoyed
speaking with you on line about [fill in the topic you were
discussing].”

That’s it! Short . To the point. All my students did this, and it worked.

It’s called being different. It’s called seizing the moment.

In addition, when you send this text at this time, you’re most likely going to be texting her when she’s at her breaking point. She’ll remember what a great conversation she had with you while hanging out on line. She’ll already have fended off a slew of drunken horny men who had no rap. So what you’re doing is rescuing her from another 90 minutes of thump-thump music and drunken horny men.

It’s all about being different and taking chances. So the next time when someone asks you if you’ve tried online dating, you’re answer is going to be: “Not on the Internet . . . but on line at a club.”

This weekend, go hang out outside a bar . . . and don’t go inside. You’ll have far less competition and have far better conversations than you would have if you went in the place. Oh and by the way, you don’t need a cheesy picture for this form of “on line” dating.

This “on line” dating also goes for all the “on lines” in you life. This is not just for bars . . . this goes for any line on which you find yourself waiting. Welcome to David Wygant’s world of “on line” dating! Welcome to the www of your life.