All of a sudden, the cell phone rings. And of course, like Pavlov did with his dogs, you’re trained to look at it.  You see a picture of your friend and their phone number and their name, all there.  You think to yourself, do I want to pick up or do I not want to pick up? Do I really want to talk to this person?  Are they going to zap me of my energy?  Are they going to keep my mood where it is right now?  Is the conversation going to be one-sided?  Am I even in the mood to talk to this person?

It’s always a mystery what your friend is going to say. Maybe your friend has been going through some major life issues and has been talking about it for the past month. So you know they’re going to talk about something that you don’t want to engage in anymore.

This is where new technology can really help us all. All these phones are linked up with Facebook and Twitter nowadays, so your pictures always show up when someone calls. But it’s always the same picture.

How about if someone came up with some software where the picture that shows up was live.  When you call someone, your camera phone would take a picture of you and display it as an icon. Now your friend can finally see exactly what you look like when you call.  Hell, you could be smiling, you could be angry, but he’ll know it right away.  That way he’ll see the live picture of you as you call and then decide whether he wants to be engaged, just like in real life.

If you see someone coming at you angry, you don’t want to talk to them.  If you see someone coming at you smiling, you naturally want to talk to them.  So if your friend is pissed off and angry and you’re in a great, mellow mood, you won’t pick up the phone.

That’s what I think is going to have to happen.  In order for our phone pick up ratio to increase, we’re going to need to see a live picture.  For dating, my God—it’s endless.

You have no idea if this woman is calling you or why she’s calling you.  You’re hoping at 11:00 when she calls you at night it’s a booty call, but in reality she could be calling just to chat. But with my new recognition software, you’ll see that she’s totally naked, vibrator by her side, thinking whether or not to use it. Or she’s wearing something sexy and she calls you, you know she’s look for action.

I think this is great!  A live picture of people so you know exactly how to respond to your phone, just like in real life. I think we have found the next level in dating, the next level in phone sex. Forget about it.  The next level in communication!

You’ll know whether to flirt or not to flirt. And how about all of you guys that have talked to customer service reps and you think they’re hot on the other end of the phone. You have no idea what they look like, but you think they’re hot, so you start flirting with them and it turns out they’re 80 years old, but they just had a young voice. Ha, but not with my facial recognition software!

You guys probably think I’m crazy. But I can guarantee you this stuff is going to come and it’s going to happen pretty soon.  It’s a great idea, but unfortunately, I just don’t know how to bring it to market.

Anybody want to help?  Anybody out there in Bloglandia want to help me bring this to market?  We will make millions billions together and have a lot of fun exposing people’s true intentions before they call.

I want you to look around your house, and I want you to ask yourself: if my dream girl came over today, would this house represent who I am?  Is this furniture a statement of who I am? Is the artwork that’s on the wall a statement of who I am?

Is the lawn furniture in the living room a statement of who you are? (Those are for those of you that never really decided to get a couch.) Does your bathroom resemble who you are? Does your bedroom resemble who you are? Do some of you live in a place that you used to live with your ex, and all her stuff is still around because you were too lazy to get rid of it?

Where you live represents very much who you are. Are you living in a neighborhood that represents who you are? Are there enough things to do in your neighborhood that keep you busy? Are there enough people like yourself that you can meet? Is there a market that you go to in your neighborhood that you really enjoy?  Does your neighborhood represent who you are?

Does your city represent who you are?  Do you enjoy where you live?  Are you proud to say you live in that area?  Does it represent the lifestyle that you want?  Is it the climate that you want?  I want you to take a look at where you live today, and I want you to ask yourself: is this where I want to be? Am I around people that I want to meet? Am I living in an area that I’m proud of? Am I living in an area that I really enjoy?

If the answers are too often “no”, then I encourage you to move to an area that inspires answers that are more often “yes”.

Being really happy with where you live and living in a place that really represents who you are as a person, is a big step in meeting like-minded people that you can date and enjoy.   So look around your surrounding and ask yourself: do I live in a shantytown with people that I do not connect with or do I live in the place of my dreams? Your choice.

I’m not a Broncos fan, I’m a Jets fan. So I’m sitting here watching the game with four minutes and 30 seconds to go. They are losing 10 to nothing.

I’m thinking to myself, “There’s no way that Tebow’s going to do it again. He looks awful. I mean I have been a football fan my entire adult life–actually since I was a little kid–and I’ve never seen a quarterback play so bad for so long with the game on the line.”

And then all of a sudden, just like the hottest woman standing at the bar at 1:00 in the morning after getting hit on by countless drunken idiot guys for the past four hours, Tebow makes it happen, swoops the girl out of the bar and brings her home.

Well, we all know Tebow’s a religious freak, so we know that wouldn’t happen in real life. But with four minutes to go, he did it again. And the football Gods definitely had it up for the Broncos. Marion Barber looked like he was going to run for a 40 yard touchdown run in overtime and he dropped the ball. The Broncos picked it up, Tebow turned it around in range for the Broncos to kick the winning field goal.

A woman standing at the bar bored at 1:00 at night, all of a sudden a guy seems to come out of nowhere, win her over, and leave with her for the night.
So what does that guy have that you don’t have?

He’s got the belief system that he can go and meet any woman, any place, at any time. He’s worked on his fundamentals, his observation skill, learning how to start a real conversation out of thin air, learning his environment, the art of communication, having balls and owning his words, not thinking about an opener, but just opening her based on whatever he felt like saying at that moment.

He’s worked on all the fundamentals, because he knows that’s all he needs. When you work on the fundamentals, you know you can have a Tebow moment at the end of the game.
But most guys refuse to work on fundamentals and instead they want the shortcut. They want to be able to swallow something clever and go up to talk to any woman at any place at any time based on what they memorized the night before, and say the same things over and over and over again to every woman.

It doesn’t work, guys. Anything in life that you’ve ever worked for–anybody who’s ever been successful in life has been successful because they’ve been willing to work on all the fundamentals that it requires to be successful.

There are no shortcuts, because life is fundamentals. Unlock your inner Tebow and let’s see if you can get your ass over to that girl at the end of the bar.

Sirius radio is great because you can just scroll right over the display and it gives you the name of the music that’s playing and the year. And while I scrolled over the song, I realized that With or Without You was a song that came out in 1987.

I remember listening to that song, I was 25 at the time and I had either just gotten broken up with or I had met somebody I really liked and it didn’t work out. I remember thinking to myself, “God, With or Without You, yeah, that’s right, I can make it with or without her. I can survive.”

And then I started thinking to myself what my 20s were like.

So many emotions all the time. When I thought I really liked a woman and she didn’t call me back, I’d freak out for a day or two. I’d go through streaks where I was really good at meeting women and then streaks where I wasn’t.

Why was this happening to me? This is why: I didn’t know who I was.

I was unemployed at certain times, I’d lose jobs for no reason at all – at least I thought it was for no reason at all. But the reason was because I had an attitude problem, but at the time I didn’t think I did.

And I remember that so much of my 20s I’d spent with or without all the things that I thought I needed at the time. It was with or without money: times I had money and there were times I didn’t. With or without women: there were times I had them in my life and there were times that I didn’t.

And every time I didn’t have something in my life I kept saying to myself, “Things are going to be much better when I get more money, things are going to be better when I have more women in my life.”
All the while, I could never be content where I was. I always thought I needed something else, but I didn’t realize the beauty of what the whole journey was all about. The whole span of my 20s was like this. And the beautiful thing about it, and the most amazing thing about it, was I was never going to get those days back again.

Each one of those days was a memory. Yet I didn’t fully embrace or fully enjoy each day.

I remember times where I had no money. I was 23 years old and starving. I had to look through my sofa to find quarters and dimes. I had enough money to go down to the grocery store, the little bodega on the corner of 80th and Amsterdam in New York City. I had just enough money to get a box of pasta and a stick of butter and that was dinner for the next two nights. And I remember thinking to myself, “I can’t wait to have money so I can eat better.”

But in reality, it was the beauty of that moment that I should’ve been appreciating. Nothing lasts forever. Every moment you have is just a fleeting moment, because whether or not you can embrace the lesson that life gives you right then and there, you’ve outgrown that moment. And when you outgrow that moment, what happens? You never get that moment back.

I look back on those days in my 20s and I could easily write 100 blogs about all the things that I went through emotionally. But the real message here and the bottom line is that you’ll never get those moments back. Enjoy wherever you’re at, because that’s exactly where you’re supposed to be right now.
Don’t obsess about what you need in the future, don’t think about how your life is going to be better when you have something else or when you are someplace else. Just enjoy the beauty of where you are right now in your life. Embrace it, enjoy it, and honor it.

Because one day you’re going to be like me and you’re just going to look back and wonder why you didn’t fully enjoy it all the way.

The guy who said this is quite famous for playing basketball for the Chicago Bulls. He won a few championships and is known to have tried playing for the White Sox as well.

Do I need to say anymore about Michael Jordan.

Read this quote and think about how it can apply to your life in all areas.

Dating And Crunch Time

If I miss a shot, so what? Maybe even a shot that could have won a game.

I can deal with that. If I don’t miss the shot, then I don’t miss it — we win. I can rationalize the fact that there are only two outcomes: You either make it, or you miss it. I could think that way because I knew I had earned the opportunity to take that shot. I had put in all the work, not only in that particular game, but in practice every day. If I missed then it wasn’t meant to be. That simple. It wasn’t because the effort wasn’t there. It wasn’t because I couldn’t make the shot, because I had taken the same shot many times in every situation.

As soon as the ball went up, there weren’t any nerves because I had trained myself for that situation. I was as prepared as I could possibly be for that moment. I couldn’t go back and practice a little harder. I knew I had done the right things to prepare myself for that situation. One way or another, I knew I was prepared to be successful. Now, if you know you haven’t prepared correctly, or you know you haven’t worked hard enough, that’s when other thoughts and emotions creep into your mind.

That’s stress. That’s fear. It’s the same process for doing anything, anywhere in life no matter how big or small the stage. … If you are confident you have done everything possible to prepare yourself, then there is nothing to fear.

Michael Jordan

Really enjoy it.

So many words that are so powerful, but yet there are words that need to be eliminated.

Here’s the one three-letter word that needs to be eliminated in every single person’s vocabulary — are you ready?

“But.”

That’s lip service, man. I am so sick of hearing that. Hey, go talk to that woman… But, I can’t right now. Hey, man, I want you to go out and get a date this week. But, I can’t. Hey, I want you to go to the gym right now and go lose some weight. But is such an excuse.

Get Your Butt Out Of Dating

Don’t ever use the word but for anything. There is no but anywhere except for the butt that you sit on. But is basically you quitting before you even started. Eliminate it and you’ll see how much easier life is for you.

As a kid, I used to make fun of this word. My mom would come and tell me “You need to be patient.” I’d look at her and say the dumb kid joke, “How can I be patient when I’m not a doctor?”

To me, that sounded really funny when I was 11, but not any more. Patience is the key to everything that’s happened great in my life.

When I was first trying to learn how to really meet women in a very natural, authentic, real way, I realized I had to be patient. If something didn’t work one day, I’d stick with it. I had to stick with what I knew would work, had to stick with what I believe would work, and by doing that, I learned the art of patience.

Dating Is For Dogs

When I built up my business, I wasn’t making money right away from it. I had to learn how to be patient. I knew I was building a solid foundation and a solid foundation is built on patience. Everything in life that’s great comes to you when you’re patient. The more patient you are, the more successful you’re going to be.

You want the best deal when you’re car shopping. Never show them how interested you are for that car, be patient. Even if the car is in the exact color you want, pretend there’s thousands and thousands of them out there waiting for you to drive. Be real patient so you get your price. You’ll find that a lot of the times when you’re patient and you think that this car, this pair of jeans, this house is going to be gone, it’s not. The more patient you are, the greater chance for a better deal you’ll get and those type of things.

The more patient you are with yourself, the more patient you are in your search for looking for somebody, the greater person you’re going to meet. I know when I’m not getting along with somebody in a relationship, but then be patient and realize it’s going to work its way out.

As long as I’m clear what I want and I can communicate it to the other person and allow them to process it and see if we can make it work. I know when I was single, the more patient I was, the greater people I found that came into my life. Patience is the key to everything, and that’s what made me successful in all aspects of my life. Hopefully you’ll re-read this blog a lot, over and over again. Because without patience, you’re not going to get what you want out of life.

Are you afraid of hard work? I want you to think for a second about all the things you have in your life.

How did you get them? Did you work hard for them, or were they handed to you?

Now what I want you to do is think about all the things you want. Next I want you to write down all of the excuses you have for why you don’t have those things in your life.

What are your excuses? Be really honest and write them down.

Let me tell you something. I work my ass off every day. I may not work many hours some days, but when I work I am 100% focused on my work.

I don’t pick up the phone and chit chat with a friend. I don’t have IM sessions or text sessions with anyone. I don’t talk to my friends via email.

What I do when I work is dial in completely to my work. The reason why I do that is because when you work really really hard, great things happen to you.

Do you know what annoys me the most, and where I am going with this blog? I’m glad you asked.

What annoys me the most is when someone emails me — not respecting my time or looking for real help via one of my products or wanting to really learn — and send me an email just like this one below.

“Give me a line I can say to a woman in these specific situations.”

They don’t say, “Hey David” and ask me a question. They don’t even sign their name. They do this, and they wonder why they’re lacking in social skills and can’t meet people?

I can tell you why they can’t meet people. It’s because if they could, they would know to start their email and write their email to me something more like this:

Hey David,

I know you’re a really busy person and I know you may or may not answer this. I’m not sure if you have a product about this, but I thought I’d see if you could take a moment and answer this question: Is there a line I can use in any situation to help me out in talking to women?

Thanks in advance,

Tom

An email like that I’ll actually read. That’s an email written by a person who actually has social skills.

The email I received is written by a barbarian. That person may as well get a club and hit a girl over the head to get her attention, because the way they behave is just like a caveman.

Magic Pill In Dating

Here’s the bottom line: There is no shortcut to anything in life.

If you want anything in life, you have to work hard for it. You need to work your ass off and you’ve got to play hard.

I hate to say it, but hard work equals rewards. If you work hard and you work smart, you’ll actually have a hell of a lot more free time than you ever imagined.

If you want to know that secret, you’ll wait for a different blog. In the meantime, work your tail off and stop buying into all your excuses.

Travelling is such a liberating experience. It gives you the freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want. You are the architect of your own experience when you think about it. And it’s funny, because we see that so clearly when we’re travelling and on vacation. It’s like a little bubble of freedom.

But do you see the same thing in your daily lives? Do you live your own life or do you allow others to dictate what to do, what is right and what is wrong in your life? How many of you are really “individuals” in the truest sense of the word? How many of your live your own lives? How many of you do what you want, say what you want, and be who you want to be?

How many of you live a life of total freedom to do what you want, when you want? I’m not talking about work and your other commitments. I’m talking about your free time. Your “me” time. How many of you do what you want but then you don’t listen to your peers? How many of you are still affected by your peers and peer pressure?

I was working out the other day and saw a friend at the gym. She said to me, “It’s great that you really do what you believe in, David. And you have the confidence to just approach and talk to people. But what about if I start smiling at guys and talking to them, aren’t they going to think that I’m easy? Aren’t they going to think that I’m desperate or slutty? No guy wants a girl like that.”

So I looked at her and said, “Do you want to spend your time caring about what other people think, or do you want to live your own life? Who cares what other people think? You give your power away so much to total strangers that you change your behavior, you decide to not go flirt with a guy all because you care what he thinks!”

That doesn’t sound good to me. That means my friend is basically outcome-dependent when it comes to meeting men. It means basically she gives her power away to every single person she meets. And the same goes for a lot of you. It’s time you start living your life for who you are and what you’re all about. Stop being dependent on what others think, and stop living inside your head. It’s crazy how many people live inside their head 24/7. Join us in the outside world.

Usually, these men like to take their women shopping, get them all dolled up and spend money on them to make them look pretty, and then take them out to dinner or to a social function. But too many times the motivation behind these actions is that they just enjoy having this woman, this “figure”, as their beautiful, dolled-up possession. They enjoy parading around the trophy.
It isn’t because he wants her to feel good, it’s because he wants to look good with her by his side. Like I always mention on the blog, I’m not judging anybody. But for me personally, I don’t want a woman as my possession. It’s just not my style. I like a woman to be her own person, with or without me. That to me is sexy.

But I do know many people and I do know men very well. I have worked with a lot of very wealthy, very successful men over the last 20 years of my life, and I know a LOT of successful guys who treat women as possessions. It’s the way they are, it’s the way they feel comfortable. To me that’s not a very deep relationship, there’s not enough quality or depth to that kind of relationship to keep me satisfied.
But once again, who am I to decide what other people want? We should all be entitled to live whatever kind of life we want to live. We’re all entitled to go down the path that we decide to choose. What may not work for me, or what may not work for you, may in fact work out just fine for somebody else.

So, today I’d like us to take some time to embrace who we really are. Are you somebody who can have a relationship rooted in that possessive outlook? It’s ok if you are. Men, are women a possession to you? Women, do you like when men see you as “theirs”? Do you enjoy being a trophy? Or we can even role reverse: women, do you see your man as your possession? Do you want a man toy or do you want a woman toy?
Let’s open this for debate today. Let’s see what you guys think.