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Archive for the ‘How To Start A Relationship’ Category |
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Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
I am in New York City for a few days. I saw a great sign yesterday here that said, “Don’t Honk — $350.00 Penalty.”
Now, how would they know who honked? What if four people honked all at once? Is that an instant $1,400.00 for the City of New York?
You got to love New York City. It’s the loudest city in the United States, and they think that one less car honking its horn will help.
Speaking of travel, let’s talk about traveling and dating . . .
So, you are dating somebody brand new, and you are really excited about them. You decide you are going to plan a weekend trip for the two of you to take together.
A weekend trip is so much fun, but do you know what is the most interesting thing about taking a weekend trip together? You are going to get to know this person better.
Let me tell you something. When you travel with someone, all the wrappers are taken off the candy.
You get to know all sorts of things about the other person you would not probably get to see at this point in your dating relationship. You get to know their bathroom habits. You get to know how long they spend in the bathroom. You get to see how they really look and act first thing in the morning.
Let me tell you something. People can’t pack all the stuff they protect themselves with at home. So on a trip, they expose themselves.
You get to know if they are grumpier in the morning than they’ve acted on those few nights you’ve spent together so far. You get to know more about what they are really like.
Traveling with somebody is the best way to get to know them. It is something that I tell people to do all the time.
If you are dating for a month, then go away for a night. Get them out of their home element. Get them to put their BlackBerry down. Take them out somewhere away from home.
After you’ve been dating someone for two months, go away for a weekend with them. Really get to know them more.
After three or four months of dating themsomeone, go away together for four or five days. Let me tell you, it is when you are away for this many days that all the shit really hits the fan.
You get to see them in all situations. You get to see them when they get frustrated at the airport. You get to see them when they’ve had a long and exhausting day. You get to see how they deal with all of those various “travel mishaps” that inevitably occur.
Traveling with somebody strips them down to their core, and gives you the opportunity to get to know them in all ways. I have had relationships in the past end after I took someone away for the weekend. Things would be great and then, all of a sudden, I’d be away for the weekend wondering who this monster was with whom I was spending the weekend.
So, one of the greatest things to do when you’re dating someone is to follow my travel schedule. If you follow my travel schedule, you are going to get to know somebody very, very quickly.
Tags: advice, Date, dating, Dating Advice, dating tips, david wygant, How To Start A Relationship, new York city, tips, travel and dating, weekend getaway
Posted in Dave's Faves, How To Start A Relationship, Top Date Ideas | 8 Comments »
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
So yesterday was my first full day back in the office, and I got to spend most of it at the dentist’s office getting a crown lengthening and a crown. It’s so much fun having your mouth open for four hours! I found that I was fine, until I opened my eyes and actually saw what they were doing: yanking, pulling and scraping. So much fun!
Anyway, back in the office today and have I got some surprises in store for all of you! Check back on Thursday for a HUGE announcement. . .
Are you someone who breaks up with someone on November 3, 2009 at 4:30 pm, and by 4:31 pm on November 3, 2009 you are in another one? Are you someone who goes right from one relationship to the next?
Are you a relationship gypsy? Relationship gypsies are people who spend their entire life in relationships without ever taking a break. When you do that, you are basically bringing your baggage with you to every new relationship.
Another definition of a relationship gypsy is someone who basically dates the same person over and over again, but who thinks they are all different. In reality, though, they are not different at all because you have never taken that necessary “timeout” for yourself in between your relationships.
If I am talking about you, then I want you to think about a few things. Something that I talk about all the time — especially with my coach TK — is how to break the pattern of being a relationship gypsy. By the way, if any of you don’t know TK (Therapist Kim), she is one of my top women’s coaches.
I am actually going to be coming out with a product about this, but the way to stop being a relationship gypsy is to really learn how to spend time with yourself — embracing yourself — so that you will start to attract the right kind of person into your life the next time. This is so important to learn, because relationship gypsy behavior is truly detrimental to you and your life.
If you don’t break the relationship gypsy pattern, you will continue to basically go from house to house, without ever getting your own house in order. Look back at your relationship history. Are you someone who dates the same person over and over again?
So if you want to know more about relationship gypsies, post a comment in the blog today. If you’re not a relationship gypsy then stay tuned, because later in the month we are going to talk about relationship junkies. . .
Tags: breaking news, crown, Date, dating, Dating Advice, dating tips, david wygant, dentist, gypsy, relationship, Relationships, root canal, self love, timeout, tips
Posted in How To Start A Relationship, Relationships | 8 Comments »
Friday, October 16th, 2009
So many guys get stuck in friend zone with women, and they never get out of it. I’m sure that resonates with many of the guys reading this blog.
I really don’t have women anymore with whom I am just “buddy-buddy.” Now I am not talking about having women friends. I am talking about being just friends with certain women whom I liked as more than friends, but with whom I was just friends because that is all I could be with them.
I used to have women friends like this during my twenties. I was always the dishrag.
They would get into a fight with Joe The Boyfriend, and then they would call me crying and say, “Oh my God, I don’t know what happened…” I’d sit there and listen to them because I would think that something would happen if I just listened and waited it out.
What did happen with those women? Nothing.
They would come over and say, “Can I snuggle with you?” Then we would snuggle as I had a full-on erection, hoping that they either wouldn’t notice or would notice and give me some misery sex or something.
I would also keep hoping that when they would break up with Joe The Boyfriend, that they would then decide to date me. Did that ever happen? Nope. They would break up with Joe The Boyfriend and start dating someone new . . . and I was never that guy.
Eventually I realized that there was a way to escape being stuck in the friend zone. I started to realize that every time I befriended women in another way, things turned out very differently (and with a much more desirable result!).
I began to be the “cool guy” with women I would befriend. I would hang out with them and have fun — maybe take the dog for a walk on the beach or get some coffee — but there was no romantic pressure or talking about the boyfriend. Once I started doing this, I never went back.
I never again sat with one of these women and said, “So what’s your relationship with your boyfriend really about?” I didn’t ask women in text messages, “How’s your boyfriend?”
I knew what the relationship was about, and we didn’t have to talk about it all the time. We might talk about it for five or ten minutes, but then I’d drop the subject.
By being this type of friend — a buddy, but really not a buddy — if she texts you out of the blue six months down the road, then she is still thinking about you.
I remember back when I was single something like this happening to me one time. I received a friend request on Facebook from a real estate agent whom I had asked out on a date months before.
When I first met her, I wrote her an email that said “You know what? I’m very indecisive right now about the house that I want, but one thing I’m very sure about is that I want to get to know you better. Dinner.” She emailed me back saying, “God, I’m so flattered and tempted, but I’m seeing somebody and just can’t right now.”
So months later she added me as a Friend on Facebook (with no message). This meant that somewhere in the back of her mind, subconsciously, she was thinking about me.
So what I did next was to write her a little note on Facebook saying, “How the hell are you? What’s going on? Is that boyfriend protecting you from burglars?” (We had talked when I met her about her house almost being broken into, and I was joking that she needed somebody to protect her).
She responded, “Well, the dog protected me.” That led into a conversation and some consistent contact (and ultimately a date with her as her relationship was on the verge of ending).
So think about the women in your life with whom you might be able to reconnect. How do you be sure to stay out of the friend zone? Be sure that you’re not being used as a dishrag. Be that “cool” guy, and you will never get stuck in that dreaded friend zone.
Tags: advice, Dating Advice, dating advice for men, dating tips, david wygant, female turn-ons, friend zone, how to beocme more than friends, how to get out of the friend zone, more than friends, Sex, tips
Posted in How To Ask For A Date, How To Start A Relationship, Rejection, Understanding Female Psychology & Mindset | 31 Comments »
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
You know what I find really funny? I live on the beach, and every morning when I take Daphne for a walk there is a giant tractor-looking thing combing the sand to make it look flat and pretty.
Why? Why does it matter? California is broke, and this is on what it spends its money? I actually kind of like the footprints on the beach. It sort of makes it look like the moon at night.
Back when I was single and dating multiple women, I probably would have told that story three or four times in a week. Can you start to guess what I’m going to talk about in today’s podcast?
Yes, in today’s podcast I am going to talk about multiplicity. No, not multiple orgasms…but about dating multiple people.
I am going to talk about dating multiple people in a way you probably aren’t expecting. I am going to tell you not only how to manage dating multiple people, but why you should be doing that.
I am going to talk about why dating multiple people is one of the best ways to learn more about yourself and what you really want, and why it is the way you will end up dating the kind of people you have most been wanting to date.
This will be a really eye-opening podcast for many of you . . . and will change the way you think about (and the reasons you want to) date multiple people. Enjoy!
Click here to listen NOW:
By the way, if any of you have anything you’d like me to talk about in a future podcast, be sure to email me (david@davidwygant.com) and let me know! I’d love to hear from you.
Also, if you want to learn more about how to communicate with all the people you’re dating so that you can date multiple people in an enjoyable and stress-free way, be sure to check out my “Dating Principles For Great Relationships” product.
Tags: california, cheaters, dating, dating multiple people
Posted in College Dating, Dating Etiquette, How To Start A Relationship, Mindset | 38 Comments »
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009
I was just on the phone with a really good friend of mine, and we were having a really funny conversation about his relationship. He’s dating someone who says to him, “I don’t care if you have female friends, but I don’t want you making an new female friends.”
As we got into the conversation, I started thinking about my life. I started thinking about in which times of my life I have made friends with my female friends.
Many times, I made new female friends when I was single. That would often happen when I was single and dating, because I’d become friends with women I was meeting that I really liked as people but with whom I didn’t feel any chemistry. I didn’t become friends with those women out of any kind of sexual desire for them.
Thinking about the women I became friends with while I’ve been in relationships, however, is something very different. If my relationships weren’t going well, I tended to find women friends to whom I was attracted.
So, I started looking a little deeper into this, and I started to realize that maybe my friend’s girlfriend has a valid point. She truly believes that if you’re in a relationship and are still collecting friends of the opposite sex, then it means that you are still out there trying to “sew your wild oats” . . . just in a different way. It’s a way to cheat emotionally.
I can understand her thinking, because I’ve dated four women who were just my friend when I met them. I ended up dating every one of those four women with whom I was “just friends” when we met.
I have to tell you. I had chemistry with each and every one of those four women right from the get-go, and I know they felt that same chemistry since they continued to pursue the so-called friendship.
Whether I didn’t actually end up dating them until a year later or two years later doesn’t matter. I am kind of in agreement with my friend’s girlfriend and her take on the issue of men and women being friends.
If you’re not satisfied in your relationship or you’re spending a lot of time with someone of the opposite sex, you’re not just bumping into women you think are really cool. Can you imagine your lover telling you this: “I was in Whole Foods today, and I ran into this great girl I want to be friends with. We just had so much in common. We were talking about which kind of breakfast cereal is the best, and I just really think she would be a great friend. I want you to meet her.”
So, the girl meets this new would-be female friend and of course she’s a knockout. Come on guys, let’s get real. You’re only friends with women with whom you want to have sex.
If you’re not happy in your relationship and you’re finding new females with whom to be friends, it’s only a matter of time before you start cheating and having sex with one of them. Women do the same thing.
Stop being in denial ladies. Women do this exact same thing. You have a boyfriend who is not satisfying you, and all of a sudden you’ll meet a great guy and become friends with him. It’s only a matter of time before that chemistry is exposed and the sex starts.
I think anyone who is denying that all of this is true is delusional, and I think my friend’s girlfriend may have a valid point here. The man or women who goes out and finds new opposite sex friends, is someone who tends to feel like something is missing in their relationship. You guys think about this.
Tags: can men and women be friends, dating, friendzone, harry met sally, relatiosnhip, Sex
Posted in Dating Etiquette, How To Be A Better Communicator, How To Start A Relationship | 95 Comments »
Sunday, August 16th, 2009
Have you ever met someone who absolutely blows you away in every way? When you meet them, you know there’s something different about them . . . even if you can’t put your finger on exactly what it is.
 Love At First Sight!
You don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it or talking about it. You’re not really going to talk about it with them, because you don’t know what they’re feeling. You don’t really spend time talking about it with other people, because you don’t really know what you’re thinking. It just doesn’t make much sense, except that you know you are supposed to be with that person.
I’ve heard so many people describe the time they met their husband or wife, and have said they knew that person was “the one” the second that person walked in the room. I’ve had people say to me things like this all the time: “David, I just knew. I just knew when they walked in the room. I don’t know if it was the way they smiled or the way they talked, but I just knew.”
Have you ever held someone so close at that that you feel like you want to jump inside their body and inside their soul? Do you ever feel your soul communicating with somebody else? You’re just laying there next to them, and you feel yourself talking to each other without saying a word.
It doesn’t take words sometimes to describe what you really feel, because sometimes in life words just can’t adequately describe it. Words can’t fully describe what you’re really thinking, what your emotions are and what you’re feeling.
Have you ever met someone of whom you just can’t get enough? Time just flies by every time you’re with them. When you meet them, you want to remember everything they say. You want to show them your life. You want to remember everything that happens between the two of you, because you know everything that’s happening is a memory you are going to want to be able to talk about in the future.
Have you ever had that amazing feeling all over that you just can’t put into words? It’s almost an overwhelming emotion.
Have you ever been able to look at someone and know exactly what they’re feeling at all times because they communicate it with their eyes? Sometimes words are overused.
I can tell you one thing for sure. When you find someone for whom you have these kind of feelings, you’ve got to go with it because there’s not too many times that it’s going to happen to you in your life. When you’ve found this person, you just know in your heart that you’ve found something magical.
Tags: dating advice for men, dating advice for women, david wygant, falling in love, finding the one, finding true love, love
Posted in How To Start A Relationship, Love, Relationships | 15 Comments »
Wednesday, August 5th, 2009
It’s Wednesday. Wednesday is our favorite day here on the site. Wednesday is podcast day, and today’s podcast is a particularly interesting one.
Actually as I’m sitting here, I had to push away a friend that is sitting right by my side. The need to push this friend away has been incredible of late.
This friend has irritated the hell out of me, interrupting things when I don’t want to be interrupted and monopolizing my days. I am always having to take this friend with me practically everywhere I go like it has no life of its own.
So what friend am I talking about today? I’m talking about my phone.
Is your phone taking over your life? Is your phone with you at all times?
Do you put your phone on the table when you have lunch, like the phone needs to consume the food too? Is the phone constantly being checked at every traffic light because you just can’t seem to kill fifteen seconds listening to music anymore? Is your phone with you on dates?
On your days off, is your phone attached your hip pocket just so you can read the email that you could wait and read when you get home? Is it constantly by your side so you can get that text from that person with whom you don’t even really want to be texting?
Is your phone so constantly attached to you that you actually take it to the beach or to the pool? Do you give your phone suntan lotion or get some good SPF for it?
I used to have my phone attached to me 24/7. I’m now eliminating my phone slowly on certain days. It’s been a tough process, but it’s seems like it’s a good thing.
I come from the generation of people who lived on voicemail. Hell, I even remember when there was just a ringer. When I was growing up, we used to just ring the phone and if nobody answered, nobody answered.
I remember my first answering machine. It was taped. I had to call, I had to go to the old ‘bad breath pay phone’ and dial in to listen to my messages.
Life got along just fine without it. People were still successful. People still dated.
When you got home, you had something to which to look forward like a blinking light with the number of messages you had. I miss those days when you came home and saw you had five messages on your answering machine.
Nowadays, the phone is constantly attached to us. You can’t escape it. You feel the need to answer everything that comes in the minute it comes in. Even when you’re on the beach or you’re relaxing, if something comes in you feel the need to check it.
It’s become a part of our life and it’s become an intrusive part of our lives. So I think one day a week, everyone needs to put the phone down. Put it down and don’t bring it with you.
You’re either by yourself or you’re with people with whom you want to spend time. Give it a break. Give it a rest.
It’s good for your phone too. Your phone doesn’t need to know everything that’s going on in your life. Your phone doesn’t need to travel everywhere you go.
So in today’s podcast we’ll talk about some rules for dates. You’re going to be outraged to hear what some people actually pull off with their phone on a date. I’m also going to talk a little bit about how your phone actually can be your friend and can even get you out of bad dates.
To listen to today’s podcast, click here:
Also, if you want to learn more about how to cultivate an amazing lifestyle that will attract the kind of people you most want to meet, be sure to check out my Men’s Mastery Series and my Women’s Art of Attracting Men programs.
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, Dating Etiquette, Dave's Faves, Goals & Aspirations, How To Start A Relationship, Life Style 101 | 54 Comments »
Friday, July 24th, 2009
We went to the movies last night, and I’m glad we got the tickets for free. We saw the movie Paper Heart. It stars a woman who is probably the most unappealing actress I’ve ever seen. Her name is Charlyne Yi.
She wines when she speaks, has the worst posture I’ve ever seen, and looks like she has neither showered nor washed her hair in months. She looks like she would smell.
So how she got a movie about love, I’ll never figure out. Of course she doesn’t know what love is (which is the basic premise of the movie), since the way she dresses and carries herself makes her reak of insecurity.
What a complete and utter waste of time. The worst part of the movie was that we brought a picnic to eat during it and never got to eat it because of the “Men In Black.” No it wasn’t Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones . . . but two men who stood in black suits at each side of the theater for the entire movie staring at the people in the seats. Their suits looked like those ones you can buy three for $149.00.
Then, at the end of the movie, they just left. I’ve never been to a movie where there were security guards wearing black suits.
Why were they there? Did they know the movie was this bad, and worried that we might attack the movie screen? Were they there to wake us up when we fell asleep during this awful movie . . . or was this just another oddity about living in La La Land. I’ll never know the answer since the “Men In Black” disappeared before we could find out who they were.
Enough about bad movies, Men In Black and picnics that can’t be eaten. On to today’s main event . . .
So, what do you do when the conversation stalls with someone?
You have to think to yourself, what do I know about this person? What have I learned about this person?
A conversation should never stall. There might be no chemistry, and you might not have “it” with that person, but you can always reignite a conversation and give it another shot. How? Well, what have you already learned about them?
So she’s from Japan – you’ve learned that. You’re currently in Seattle studying. If the conversation stalls, you can just look at her and say, “so what do you miss the most about Japan? Is there one thing that you really miss about home?”
Get her to talk more emotionally; get her to talk about her feelings and about what is going on. In this way you can re-engage her and she can answer, “you know what I miss the most about Japan? I miss the food; I miss the culture…” whatever it is.
“What is it about the food you miss?” Ask her like you’re talking to a child. When you look at any kid and you ask, “what’s bugging you today?” They always answer, “nothing,” and you have to prod them a bit. You say, “alright, come on and tell me what’s bothering you.” Then the kid will say, “well, I didn’t like dinner.” You ask, “alright, what didn’t you like about dinner?” – do you see how you are paraphrasing the child’s words to get them to open up a little bit?
Sometimes talking to women is like talking to a five-year-old. You have to paraphrase her a little bit – but don’t talk in that same little kid voice! But you do have to get her to open up a little bit.
Another reason that was a fantastic example is that you opened up what I consider to be the hardest culture of women to open. Japanese women – oh man. Chinese women are tough, Filipino women are very shy and hard to open up, but Japanese women are just about the most difficult to open – because of their culture.
What is Japanese culture like? If you ever go to Honolulu, the men are walking and the women they are with are like five or ten feet behind them. The younger Japanese women still have that as their parental example even if they are a lot more modern, progressive and hipper than their parents.
The culture is different now, but still, Japanese women are tough to open. But once you open them up, they start laughing and smiling. So that interaction all together was really fantastic.
To get the conversation back on track, instead of thinking to yourself, oh my god, what do I do here? How do I save this conversation? Think to yourself: what do I know about her? I can ask her a question based on something we’ve already talked about and I can take the conversation deeper.
Tags: bringing your own food to movies, Charlyne Yi, coversation starters, dating advice for men, dating advice for women, david wygant, eating at the movies, flirt, How To Ask For A Date, how to speak to women, Men In Black, Men In Black movie, Michael Cena, movies, Paper Heart, Paper Heart Movie, real social dynamics, social dynamics, Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, Dating Etiquette, Goals & Aspirations, How To Ask For A Date, How To Be A Better Communicator, How To Start A Relationship | 23 Comments »
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