Halloween. Wow, We are really rolling through 2009. Pretty soon we’ll be up to another one of my most overrated holidays — Thanksgiving.
I do know what I’m going to be for Halloween, though, this year. I am going to be jet lag.
It’s going to be about 10:45 am when I finish writing this blog, and after getting up at 4:30 am, I have already caught up on seventeen days of emails, walked the dog three times, went to Whole Foods, got the car washed, and saw the sunrise for the first time . . . sober.
Even after accomplishing all of that by mid-morning, I still can’t figure out why people always say it’s great to get up early because you get so much done in the morning. It’s true that you get a lot done in the morning, but then you’re tired by lunch and you have the whole rest of the day still ahead of you.
I get so much done all day long, and I’m not tired. So once my body clock goes back to normal, I think I’ll continue to be a late riser.
The great thing about being away for a while at this time of the year, is that I am going to get to go through my second “fall back.” I already “fell back” once in France, and now I’m going to get to do it again here in L.A. it’s like time travel.
Speaking of time travel, I saw an absolutely terrible movie on the airplane called “The Time Traveler’s Wife.” I still don’t understand how you can go back in time and see yourself.
That would, however, be a great idea for a Halloween costume. You can tell people you are a time traveler and you’ll see them in ten minutes. What a great approach for the night. You are talking to a woman and you say, “I’d love to talk to you now, but I’m time traveling. I’ll see you in three hours . . . in my bed. How do I know that? I’m a time traveler!”
Have a great Halloween, and enjoy this classic Halloween blog. . .
It’s time for the Monster Mash. It’s a graveyard smash . . . It caught on in a flash . . . ‘Cause it’s the Monster Mash . . .
So how exactly are you going to mash this Halloween season?
Remember the good old days walking door to door with a plastic pumpkin, knocking on strangers’ doors, and hoping you didn’t get an apple with a razorblade in it? By the way, what kind of person hands out apples at Halloween anyway? We’re out for candy! In fact, lots of candy . . . and not a stinkin’ apple! That’s the shit your mother gives you at home.
As we rang each door bell, we’d utter these magic words: “Trick or treat for UNICEF!” For those of you who don’t know what UNICEF is, it was a private collection. That is, we would collect it . . . and UNICEF would never ever get it.
Wouldn’t it be fun if you could go to an apartment complex where hot chicks and singles reside wearing your Scooby Doo costume with the plastic mask and that shiny material that your mother had to tie in the back. You remember those, the kind where if your mother bought the wrong size, it only came down to your ankles?
The great thing about that shiny material though was that it repelled all the eggs and the shaving cream pelted at you by the older kids. Not to mention, it was always freezing outside and you never wanted to wear a jacket because it would ruin your great costume.
What a great costume that was that your Mom bought for $5.00 at Wal*Mart. Thanks a lot Mom!
Not to mention, sometimes your head was too big for the plastic mask so either a lot of chin or a lot of forehead would always be visible. On top of everything else, that cheap elastic string on the back of the mask would continuously break, so the mask got tighter and tighter every time you fixed it.
So now you’re an adult. You are no longer trick or treating in cheap costumes that don’t fit. You now dress up in adult-themed costumes.
Women will dress up in skimpy little bunny costumes. Men will dress up as women . . . not a pretty sight by the way, and definitely not a costume I would consider.
Instead of getting a stomach ache from eating a pumpkin full of candy, as adults we get a stomach ache from drinking a pumpkin full of booze. The candy is no longer chocolate with caramel filling . . . it has become the opposite sex.
The problem is that people tend to act really stupid on Halloween. They start talking like the character they are portraying.
I met this female pirate one time at a Halloween party. When I asked if she would like a drink, she answered “Aye matey!” Then I asked if she would be interested in some casual sex that night, and she answered “Aye matey!!” In fact, she said “Aye matey!” all night until she passed out from drinking too much pumpkin juice.
A Halloween party for adults is hilarious. Women will have sex on Halloween and then rationalize it: “It wasn’t me . . . Wonder Woman slept with him.” Men will approach women with the worst pick-up lines ever.
Everyone here in L.A. wants to go the Halloween party at the Playboy mansion which, by the way, I’ have attended. It happens to be a lot of fun. Lots of “Aye Matey’s” there . . . and lots of people on drugs.
There’s nothin’ like Halloween in L.A.! I think here in L.A., that everybody’s magic pumpkin is filled with magical Ecstasy.
Once again, remember that Halloween is just one night. Either you can rap or you can’t.
Just wearing a costume is not going to turn a man into a smooth-talking stud. A woman’s sexy skimpy costume is also not going to make her the social butterfly she craves to be. Halloween is also the night you will hear the most stupid pick-up lines of any night of the year . . . with the possible exception of 5-4-3-2-1 night.
So what is my idea for a good Halloween? Go to Target. Buy one of those little kid costumes and an orange plastic pumpkin. I’m sure one of that little kid costumes will go down as far as your knees . . . if you’re lucky. This is very funny.
Then go door to door wearing your costume and carrying the plastic pumpkin, and say this to the hot single mom or dad who answers the door: “Trick or treat for a social life! Please put your phone number in the pumpkin, and I’ll call you tomorrow when I become a person again instead of a giant Hello Kitty.”
I think I’m going to go to this area of my town that has a ton of single women and ring some bells. Bells will be ringin’ … Oops! Wrong holiday.
So now you know what I will be doing on Halloween. What will you be doing?
I will leave you with one of my favorite kid jokes: Why can’t witches get pregnant? Because ghosts have Halloweenies …
I know it’s over a week until Halloween, but I wanted all of you to be prepared ahead of time. In today’s podcast I will tell you how you can make this Halloween amazing! More on that in a minute…
Halloween is the night that singles go out to talk to and meet characters who are like people they really want to meet. It’s also the night they go out as the character they’ve always wanted to become.
It’s really funny about Halloween. People get dressed up as what I like to call their “alter ego.”
Women will dress up in lingerie because they want to go out and have sex that night. Men will dress up as a super hero because they want to be a stud around women.
What’s up with the men who dress up as women? Does that mean they need to be women? Who knows.
Halloween is all about having a good time. Most of you, however, are guilty of one thing on Halloween night. You are guilty of chasing the night.
Chasing the night is looking for that one perfect party, and trying in that one night to make up for all those other nights that didn’t work out so well. It’s looking for that Halloween party that is going to deliver the most amazing people, so you can meet the most amazing person of the opposite sex.
In reality, though, Halloween is just one night. That’s it.
Today’s podcast is going to explore how to make the most of Halloween. I’m also going to share some costume ideas with you that will absolutely blow you away. These costumes are going to enable you not only to meet people, but will do something else that is amazing as well. You’ll have to listen to the podcast to find out the whole story.
Click here to listen now:
Also, if you want to learn how to stop chasing the night, and how to make wherever you are the place everyone wants to be and you the person everyone wants to meet, then be sure to check out my Men’s Mastery Series and my Women’s Mastery Series programs.
First let me apologize to everyone about the “technical problems” we’ve had with the blog over the last few days. It always happens when you’re away Also, thank you for being patient while we got the issues resolved.
Hope everyone is having a fantastic Labor Day weekend! I can’t believe the summer is coming to an end. Today’s blog is great, as it is the best adventure you can have on this Labor Day.
One of the best things to do is to play tourist in your own town. Walk around your town on a Saturday and pretend that you’ve never been there before. Why? It will force you to ask for directions and recommendations and to converse with people that you haven’t talked to before.
Maybe you can make this an adventure with somebody. Pretend like you’ve never been there before. Not only will you meet interesting people, but you will also learn things about your town that you probably didn’t already know.
Just because you have lived somewhere your whole life does not mean that you know every restaurant! It doesn’t mean you’ve been to every little shop, or explored every nook and cranny.
By acting like a curious, lost tourist, you will be able to meet more people all day long. This builds your social network.
If you start connecting with a woman who lives in your town and you want to ask her out, you can say, “Give me your number. I’d love to get together with you. I live here, but I made a pact with myself today that I was going to re-explore my town. I’ve lived here my entire life and I wanted to feel like a tourist again. And since you were nice enough to share all of your information, I would like to take you out and show you one of MY favorite places.”
She’ll ask you which place is your favorite, and you can say “It’s a surprise! Give me your number and we’ll get together next week.” That is how you do it. Turn it into a game while still being honest.
At a recent Bootcamp a client asked me if I’d ever done this. I told him “Absolutely! It works really well.”
You’re not lying to them. You’re doing a social experiment on yourself. Also, it tells a woman that you are self-evolved.
You are showing her that you are a man that actually thinks outside the box. It takes a lot of guts to pretend to be a tourist.
How many times have you been with a woman who has complained that she hasn’t seen your vulnerable side? Pretending to be a tourist is a way to show a woman your vulnerability.
All right, let’s go take a walk! Enjoy your Labor Day!
Everybody is looking for the definition of his or her body type. The problem is that most people never tell the truth about their body type. Especially on the internet.
On the internet, the majority of people are ‘athletic and toned,’ yet we live in a country where most people don’t work out.
It seems like the internet is always bucking all trends. There’s a ton of women on the internet that are 39 years old but yet there are no women that are 40 or 41. It seems like everyone wants to remain 39, 29, 49 – no one wants to cross over to the 4-0, 3-0, or 5-0!
Internet dating is really interesting because to succeed there, you should really put up an array of photos of yourself. The fact is that you look exactly the way you do. There’s no denying that. You can’t just check a box that says ‘athletic and toned’ when you’re not, because eventually you’ll have to show up on the date and the other person is going to see that you’ve never worked out.
You’re not going to be able to convince them – you won’t become a date salesman who sits there and convinces someone to like the body type they don’t like, or to become attracted to you when they aren’t.
So the best thing to do is to put up five pictures of yourself: three body shots (I’m not talking naked ones, or bikini shots, or muscle shots for guys) but three shots where you are standing head to toe. Three current shots that show exactly what you look like today, so there are no surprises.
The reason that most dates don’t work out is because the person was afraid to put up a picture because they didn’t like the way their body looked. They then go on the date, the other person isn’t attracted to them, and they don’t call them back. You can eliminate that step – why go out on so many first dates when you are misrepresenting yourself?
The fact is that you should be proud of who you are. Your body is your body. It’s exactly what it’s going to be, and you shouldn’t compare it to anybody else. You need to embrace it. So put yourself up there on the net, be who you are, and don’t try to sell yourself like a used car!
It’s funny, when I look for used cars, I’m always weary of the car that only has one picture up of it. Doesn’t she want to seduce me? Doesn’t she want me to take her for a test drive? Shouldn’t I see the wheels and the shiny inside? Shouldn’t I see the leather interior? I hate looking at a used car that the owner says is in absolutely perfect condition, and there are rips on the leather seats. You don’t want to be the car that has the rips on the leather seats.
You want to show everyone who you are. Get a friend, take a few pictures, smile, and be proud of who you are.
You know what? In the long run, you’re going to attract a lot more people doing it this way, and you won’t have to worry about what body type box you need to check off. If they see you, they’ll know what type of body you have!
Throughout my life, I’ve had many crushes. Well, that’s true for my kid life.
Actually, in my adult life, I have a crush right now that beats all crushes. Her name is Daphne (and Sonja is okay with that). As a matter of fact, everyone who meets Daphne has a crush on her.
I remember some of my bigger kid crushes. I remember having butterflies about Diane in kindergarten. She was a great crush. Her older brother Billy (who was in the first grade), was the one who told me that you could go to the bathroom in the woods and use leaves. To this day, I still remember the rashes.
Then I had a crush on Kim in the fifth grade. I gave her my Wacky Packs.
There was, however, no bigger crush in America than the woman in the red bathing suit (except, of course, everyone’s male crush on the Six Million Dollar Man). Every boy had a Farrah Fawcett poster.
Charlie’s Angels. She was America’s crush. To this day, I believe, that poster is still the best selling poster in history. Although, do people still buy posters anymore?
Kate Jackson and Jaclyn Smith didn’t stand a chance against Farrah Fawcett. I must say, though, that Jaclyn Smith’s collection at K-Mart is a winner. Also, Kate Jackson certainly made quite a career for herself on the show Scarecrow & Mrs. King. What’s worse I wonder … K-Mart or Scarecrow & Mrs. King?
From the day that poster came out, every girl had body issues and every boy became a fan of the show
Farrah went on to do The Burning Bed, which was actually a very controversial movie about spousal abuse. It was way ahead of its time.
Around that time, Farrah also dumped the The Six Million Dollar Man — the man who battled Bigfoot and could run faster than anyone. Poor Lee Majors. Well, now you know why his show was titled The Fall Guy.
Anyway, everyone’s first crush (or at least everyone in my generation) is gone. I know every man who is old enough will always remember that Farrah Fawcett poster and that red bathing suit.
She actually did a sequel poster a couple years later. I had that one too.
I think Farrah was responsible not only for crushes, but for the sale of most curling irons back then because every girl had to have the Farrah ‘do. The Farrah ‘do also led to the 80’s big hair trend.
How did we go from the Farrah ‘do to 80’s big hair? I’ll never forget some of the hairstyles that were in all the John Hughes’ movies.
So, let’s be nostalgic today, and let’s talk about your favorite Farrah moment. Mine was when she drove that Ford Pinto and wore those white hot pant outfits on Charlie’s Angels.
She was the only woman who could make a Ford Pinto look hot. To make that car look hot, everyone else had to be rear-ended and make it explode.
‘Tis the season to be horny
Fa la la la la . . . ooh la la la
During my last weekend bootcamp, a guy wanted to know if there is a fun way to immediately start talking about sex with a woman. No, he was not asking how to have sex right away. He wanted to know how to create some playful banter and a memorable conversation.
So we went to Longs Drugs and bought Christmas stockings that we filled with candy canes, Pez dispensers and a few draedels for the Jewish women. We then headed out to Beverly Hills where we did an exercise called “Naughty Or Nice.”
In this exercise, you go out with a friend and walk around either on the streets or in a mall (depending on what the weather is like where you live). One of you is Santa and wears a Santa cap. The other one is Santa’s Helper and carries the goody bag.
Then as you walk through the streets or through the mall, you have a smile on your face and you’re playful. Women will start to notice you . . . after all, it’s not every day two grown men are walking around with a Santa cap and a stocking.
When a woman sees you, smile at her and tell her to “come here.” Women are very curious, and most will walk over to you. When one does, the one with the Santa cap will look directly in her eyes and ask her whether she was naughty or nice this year. If she confesses which one she was, she gets a present out of Santa’s Helper’s stocking.
Half of them will say they have been naughty. If a woman says she’s been naughty, then you have to ask her how naughty she has been this year. If a woman says she has been nice, then tell her “Great. I love good girls.”
It’s about being playful and having fun. Women crave conversation starters that are real, natural and something they have really never heard.
Not only that, but doing something like this show that you have a personality and a sense of humor. It also shows that you can be very playful, and being playful is part of any successful flirting.
Women love playful, fun and witty banter. All the guys who used this technique had a blast with it.
The holiday time is a good time to be a little more naughty because everybody wants to hang out with Bad Santa. Oops . . . that’s a Billy Bob movie.
So go to the mall, grab yourself a stocking, and find yourself some naughty or nice girls.
How To Date A Yummy Mummy
By David Wygant
When I was in London, my friends and I went out with a bunch of yummy mummys. What is a yummy mummy you ask? It is a hot, sexy, recently divorced mother whose husband stopped having sex with her years ago.
These husbands did not stop having sex with these yummy mummys due to the way they look, but instead because of their own laziness. Now these yummy mummys are loose in the dating world feeling oh so promiscuous and oh so sexy.
So when I was out in the Soho Hotel with a couple of yummy mummys, they both informed me that right now they were not looking for a heavy relationship. They were looking to get their yummy back.
A lot of women will go through a marriage that becomes sexless over the last four or five years. So when the relationship ends, and the Decree Nisi is finalized in England or the divorce is a done deal here in the States, these yummy mummys tend to act like Angela Bassett in “How Stella Got Her Groove Back.”
They are looking for a man who makes them feel yummy, delicious and tingly all over. Usually the yummy mummys are very naughty in bed because their husbands did not let the naughty girl come out and play.
All baby wipes and not enough naughtiness will make for a very angry yummy mummy. Picture Jack Nicholson in “The Shining,” except in this case it’s a yummy mummy in a sexy g-string and a cute little top angry at the world for not feeling sexually appreciated.
So how do you unleash the naughty yummy mummy who has been lying dormant during a long, tedious and sexually boring marriage?
The first thing you need to do is respect her wishes, because the yummy mummy wants a man to unlock the naughty mummy. So if you’re dating a recently divorced yummy mummy, enjoy the limited time she is able to give you. Remember that she still has soccer mom responsibilities. A lot of yummy mummys also have full-time jobs.
So when they are in the process of getting their groove back, they are not looking for anything heavy and clingy. They are looking for a man with whom they can have fun . . . not only sexually to unlock their inner naughty mummy, but also someone who mentally appreciates who they are as a person.
To the men, before you hop on match.com and type in as your search “naughty recently divorced mummys,” you need to understand that they are not just looking for your pecker to stimulate them. They are looking for a man who can also stimulate their mind.
I had a lot of fun with a yummy mummy in London. As for all the yummy mummys reading this, enjoy the process of getting your groove back and congratulations for having the courage to get rid of your boring ex-husband.
Right now, I’d like to hear from all the yummy mummys. Share some of your experiences of how you got your groove back.
Todays Video is a peek inside what it takes to flirt with a Yummy Mummy and how to get her to share her yumminess with you.
Also, thank you for being patient while we got the issues resolved. 
