The other night during dinner I came up with a quote I want you to read:
“Embrace change at my own pace.”
I embrace change at my own pace.
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Archive for the ‘High School Dating’ Category |
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Be Cool!
Friday, September 28th, 2007Be Cool! By David Wygant
Recently I was having a discussion with a friend of mine, and he asked me “Is it possible for a person to learn how to be cool?”
I looked at my friend, who is 47 years old, and I said “This isn’t high school. You mean you want people to think that you are cool? Are you looking to score with a cheerleader? You want to become one of the popular kids?”
This conversation got me thinking deeper. Life is really like high school. People of all ages walk around and try to be accepted by other people.
When you go to a bar, you always see the group of guys that are “cool.” They are talking to all the women. All the women are talking to them.
When you go to a kegger . . . Oops, I mean a wine and cheese party (which is the same thing for adults), you will see the group of people (men and women) that you know are cooler than everyone in the room. They are the ones chatting everyone up, and people are lining up to talk to them.
So what makes somebody cool?
A lot of people think a shortcut to becoming cool is to dress a certain way. I know fashion is important, and it’s great to look good. How you dress alone doesn’t matter. If you look good but you are feeling insecure, you look like a well-dressed insecure person.
The only way to become cool is to become secure with yourself. When you see a group of people that you think are cool and you think you are not as cool or hip as they are . . . then you are absolutely correct!
What you think about you bring about. Dating and life is all about having the proper mindset. There are no shortcuts to becoming cool. There is no magic pill you can take that will make you instantly cool in other people’s eyes.
You need to believe that everybody you talk to is your equal. You need to start becoming that cool person and engaging others in conversation, instead of waiting for them to engage you in a conversation.
Standing with your hands in your pockets at a grown up keg party hoping people will notice you, is not being cool. Walking around the room and engaging others in conversation is the way for people to notice that you are one of the so-called cool people in the high school of life.
This blog could be a ten page blog on teaching you how to really feel better about yourself so you no longer have cool envy. That is far more, however, than we can cover in this blog today.
If you feel this way about yourself (that you are not one of the “cool” people) and your life is full of excuses, then you need to tap into this audio program I recently created. . This program will help you overcome your fears, and make you part of the in and cool crowd.
Define Cheating
Tuesday, September 18th, 2007Define Cheating by David Wygant
So you’re in a relationship, and you do any of the following things:
• After getting a little tipsy in a bar, you swap spit and play some serious tonsil hockey with the hottie with whom you did a few shots
• You go to a happy ending rub ‘n tug massage parlor and, wow what am I doing, the female rubber tugs at you at you at the end of the massage.
• You go to a strip club, and the stripper grinds against you leaving a deposit on your jeans.
• You’re a woman who at a bachelorette party slowly kisses this cute guy you met that night.
• You are on vacation, and you perform oral sex but don’t have intercourse.
So where am I going with all this? What defines cheating . . . and what actions do or do not constitute cheating?
Some people think cheating only occurs if intercourse happens. Other people think cheating is when you just think about it.
Some people say just making out with someone is not cheating. Ask any man who goes to a rub ‘n tug, and he’ll tell you that he’s not cheating. He’ll say that’s not cheating . . . it’s a massage.
So today, we’re going to open up the forum and see what you guys think. What is cheating to you?
That’s the question of the day.
I want to correspond with all of you. I want to hear your thoughts on what constitutes cheating.
I once had this funny little thing that read: “It’s not cheating if you do it in another time zone.” This meant that if you live in New York City and you travel to Los Angeles, it’s 8:00 pm. Los Angeles time and 11:00 pm. New York time. So you basically have three hours to fool around before it’s 11:00 pm your time.
It’s like time travel. If you keep your watch on eastern time, then it’s like you never cheated (sort of like the five second rule – something falls on the floor and you can eat it if it hasn’t been there longer than five seconds).
Instead of the “five second rule,” this is the “three hour rule.” Other people have a different version of this rule: “It’s not cheating if you don’t speak the language.”
People cheat for all sorts of reasons. Let’s hear your definition of what cheating is, and then another day we’ll talk about why people cheat.
I don’t agree with either of the rules above. You can rationalize it any way you want, but my opinion is that the minute your lips lock with another person, you’ve cheated.
What’s your opinion on this issue . . . and don’t hold back! Looking forward to this discussion all day!
Do You Hide Behind The I Phone?
Saturday, September 8th, 2007The Abuse of Texting By David Wygant
We have a texting problem in America.
Men are asking women out via texting.
Men are blowing off dates via texting.
Men and women are using texting to booty call each other at night.
Which two of the three are unacceptable . . . and which one is perfectly okay??
Texting somebody on a Friday night to hook up later? Absolutely! It’s easy, fun, exciting, and much better than a phone call if the man or woman you’re trying to booty text can’t hear the phone ring.
The first two, however, are absolutely disgraceful! For some reason when some men and women blow off a date, they hide behind texting instead of actually having a conversation.
The whole idea of texting is to keep in touch with somebody, e.g., have a short conversation in the middle of the day, have a booty call, or share something funny. When you’re in an already established relationship, texting can be used to say where you’re meeting each other for dinner or at whose house you’re going to have a sleepover.
I have talked to many women, and the thing they despise the most is when men asks them out on a first date via text message. They find that behavior wimpy, and it turns them off. If you’re a guy and you’re going to ask a woman out, pick up the phone and have some balls!!
By texting, you’re telling a woman that you don’t expect her to say yes. By texting in these ways, what you’re doing is basically saying “I don’t really care if we go out. I’m just lobbing a text in and hoping you’ll say yes.” This is what women perceive when you text them out on a date.
There’s another issue too . . . it’s called canceling a date via text message. If you are canceling a date for a valid reason with a woman and you desire to see her again, do not text her! Pick up the phone, be a man, speak to her, and set up another date! A woman who has any sense of self-pride will never go out with a guy who cancels via text.
The same rings true for women.. If you’re going to cancel on a man, pick up the phone and set another date.
Stop hiding behind texting!! There are positives and negatives about everything. You just learned one positive and two negatives. The same rules apply for email by the way. That’s all . . . and even if you have that new iPhone and you can text cooler than anyone else, it still doesn’t give you a reason to hide behind texting.
The Best Place To Meet Women Is “On Line”
Friday, September 7th, 2007The Best Place To Meet Women Is “On Line” by David Wygant
The best place to meet women is on line. No, not online on match.com or on Yahoo! Personals . . . but rather while you’re waiting on a line.
We spend so much of our lives waiting on a line. We’re waiting for coffee. We’re waiting at the bank. We’re waiting at the grocery store. We’re always waiting on a line . . . sometimes for one minute and sometimes for two hours.
Do you talk to people while you’re waiting on a line? If the answer is no, then read on because what I’m about to tell you is one of the best time management tools you will ever learn.
As a matter of fact, Microsoft Outlook was thinking of adding this tool to their software for Blackberries. Alright maybe not . . . but you get my point.
The other night I was out with a large group of students doing a bootcamp. We walked by this trendy Hollyweird nightclub. I looked at the line waiting to get in, and I asked my students:
DW: “What do you notice about what people are doing in that line . . .
besides looking pissed off that they have to wait?”
S1: “No one is talking to each other.”
DW: “Exactly! No one is talking to each other while waiting on line to get
into a bar or nightclub . . . waiting to get into a loud, crowded, place
so they can potentially scream in each other’s ears.”
The best conversations you’re going to have are when you’re waiting on line to get into the bar. They will be far better than any you’ll have while you’re inside the bar.
To prove my point, we got on line there and we proceeded to have a conversation with the group in front of us and the group behind us. When it was time to enter the club, the doorman asked me how many we were, and I said that we were seven but that we wanted to wait on line for awhile before going inside.
As each group behind us got to where we were at the front of of the line, we met a whole new group of people. By the time we left that line about twenty minutes later, we’d met and spoken with about forty people! In light of this, let me ask you a few questions:
• How many of you speak to forty people when you’re IN a nightclub?
• How many of you get phone numbers when you’re IN the nightclub?
• How many of you get people to text you as soon as they leave a nightclub to see where you’re hanging out and what line is cool right now?
These are just some of the things that happened to my students and I when we were waiting on line at a trendy Hollywood nightclub.
Since you’re able to speak about the obvious while you’re waiting on line, how silly is it to wait to get inside a loud club before you start talking to people? Whatever your approach is, when you speak to someone while your on line you can always state it with humor. You can always say something like:
“Aren’t we getting too old to hang out on line to get into a crowded nightclub?
This is the best conversation we’re going to have all night. If we met in there,
I’d have to scream in your ear.”
It doesn’t matter what you say. It’s stating the obvious.
I also told my students that if you like someone you meet on line, just close them with this:
Man: “Let’s exchange numbers. If the loud music gets on your nerves,
text me and I’ll let you know where we’re at.”
What you’re doing here is playing the odds. Most women when they go to a nightclub think they’re going to have fun. After about an hour in the nightclub, however, most of them tend to get annoyed. So after about an hour and a half, what you do is text her.
You: “Are you ready to continue our conversation? I enjoyed
speaking with you on line about [fill in the topic you were
discussing].”
That’s it! Short . To the point. All my students did this, and it worked.
It’s called being different. It’s called seizing the moment.
In addition, when you send this text at this time, you’re most likely going to be texting her when she’s at her breaking point. She’ll remember what a great conversation she had with you while hanging out on line. She’ll already have fended off a slew of drunken horny men who had no rap. So what you’re doing is rescuing her from another 90 minutes of thump-thump music and drunken horny men.
It’s all about being different and taking chances. So the next time when someone asks you if you’ve tried online dating, you’re answer is going to be: “Not on the Internet . . . but on line at a club.”
This weekend, go hang out outside a bar . . . and don’t go inside. You’ll have far less competition and have far better conversations than you would have if you went in the place. Oh and by the way, you don’t need a cheesy picture for this form of “on line” dating.
This “on line” dating also goes for all the “on lines” in you life. This is not just for bars . . . this goes for any line on which you find yourself waiting. Welcome to David Wygant’s world of “on line” dating! Welcome to the www of your life.
You Asked Her Out . . . You Pay!
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007You Asked Her Out . . . You Pay!
Recently I was on the phone with a female client of mine, so recently in fact that it feels like right now! The bottom line is: If you ask a woman out on a date, you pay!
I’ve heard from so many women that a guy will ask her out on a date, and then when it comes down to paying he will ask her to split the bill. I believe that first dates should be simple dates, i.e., coffee dates, a walk in the park, things that don’t cost a lot of money.
You don’t know this person, so why should you invest a lot of money in someone you may never see again?! Men who take women they don’t even know for an expensive dinner on a first date are idiots! Trust a woman with your mind . . . not with the food that’s being served across the table.
When dating, the proper etiquette is he or she who asks out the other foots the bill. I’m a firm believer in equality.
I do not believe when dating somebody that the man has to pay for everything so that a woman can build up her 401K. There comes a point in dating where things should be split, especially if both of you are making equal money.
Now if you’re a man who has a lot of money and you’re dating a woman who has little money, then if you don’t pay for a date you’re a cheap bastard and you don’t deserve to have any woman go out with you! If you’re a woman who makes a lot of money and you expect a man to pay for everything, then you’re self-centered and not participating in a real relationship based on equality and understanding of ones financial situation.
The bottom line is this: If you ask somebody out on a date, you pay the bill. If you can’t afford the dinner, take her out for coffee, take her out for a drink, or take a walk in the park. You’re looking for the perfect match . . . not someone who’s going to get you into debt!
Ok Ladies lets hear your thoughts and don’t hold back!!! And guys how do you feel when a woman pays?
Also lets talk today about some great non traditional first dates so the bank account is not depleted to zero while trying to meet someone. Some men just don’t have any creativity so lets help them out!!!
To Kiss Or Not To Kiss . . . That Is The Question
Friday, August 17th, 2007To Kiss Or Not To Kiss . . . That Is The Question By David Wygant
Just how important is the first kiss at the end of the first date?
Recently I was talking to a client of mine about this very subject, and I was telling her that sometimes I don’t kiss at the end of a first date. I go in for the hug.
I just think the first kiss on the first date is overrated. Technically you are total strangers. You sat across from each other at a table somewhere, or maybe you took a walk in the park, or you spent a couple hours talking . . . and then what? You need to seal it with a kiss?
I don’t think the first kiss is important on the first date. What’s important on the first date is the recap in your mind after you leave them. Let me ask you a few questions. When you go home and you do the post-date recap:
• How do you feel?
• What are you thinking about?
• What did you think about this person and their lifestyle?
• What did you think about some of the stories they were sharing?
• Were there any warning signs?
• Was there anything they said that really made you nervous?
• Is there anything you want to do with them the next time you see them?
• Can you imagine sharing one of their adventures that they described?
Another step in evaluating the first date occurs when you wake up the next morning. When you wake up:
• Did you think about the person?
• Are you still excited the next morning that you met that person?
• While you’re kind of hanging out and going to work the next day, did you have a smile on your face that you met someone really cool the night before?
There’s a lot of pressure about the first kiss at the end of the first date. The first kiss at the end of the first date also does not necessarily mean that you’re going to end up seeing the person again. It could just be that you felt like you had to kiss them just because it was the end of the date.
I feel kissing at the end of the first date is so predictable. Not kissing a woman at the end of the first date is the opposite . . . it just shows a sense of patience. It’s also really nice to get a hug at the end of the first date, because really you’re both nervous at the end of the first date. She’s wondering if you are going to kiss her. You’re wondering if you should kiss her. So, why bother?
A lot of times there’s not even a lot of passion in that first date first kiss. It’s a nervous, windshield wiper kiss. Your tongues do a little dance in each other’s mouth. Neither one of your hands are moving anywhere. It’s kind of like your first dance in high school.
So let’s get rid of the misconception about the first date first kiss. What’s more important is the follow-up phone call, or asking them out during the first date for another date. Those are signs of real interest. Real interest is also calling them the next day, seeing what they’re up to, and getting together with them soon so you can keep the momentum going. This will make the first kiss a real first kiss.
So here’s a question for all of you: Do you like to hug, or do you need that first kiss for confirmation at the end of the first date? Do you desire a nervous windshield wiper kiss . . . or a passionate second day after kiss?
Never Stand Someone Up!
Thursday, August 9th, 2007A post on an Internet No-Show By David Wygant
Recently, a woman client of mine met this guy online on a Thursday. He came on all strong, and they set up a date to have drinks that same night. First, before I tell you what happened, let’s give this woman a hand for being spontaneous instead of being conniving and manipulative.
The thing about dating that sucks is that so much time is spent hunting each other down. You meet each other Friday, call on Sunday, get a call back on Wednesday, set up a date for the following week, and by the time the date happens you have no idea why you were attracted to this person in the first place.
So, this woman decided to be spontaneous and have a date that night . . . and it even was her birthday. So they made plans to have drinks at 9:15 p.m. at a local restaurant. The only problem was . . . she showed up and he did not. This behavior is what I call this man being a classless loser. Whether he was drunk and sitting in his house and forgot to go, or whether he was hiding in the bushes outside the restaurant because he wasn’t as attracted to her in person as he was on the internet, there really is no excuse for what he did. There really is no excuse.
If you set up a date, whether you’re attracted to the person when you meet them or not, you act like a functioning adult. You sit down and you have a nice conversation with another human being, because you never know if the woman (or man) sitting across from you that you’re not attracted to might have a friend for you. So the next time you’re not attracted to your internet date, you better realize that by being a pussy and not going through with it, it’s just going to hurt you in the long run.
This has happened to everyone who’s dated on the internet a few times. If you’re somebody that just recently did it to somebody, think about what it felt like when someone did it to you. To all the men and women who pull this kind of shit – grow up! And for people who have had this happen to them, don’t worry about it!! Why would you even want to date someone who is the type of person who would pull a stunt like this?
This man who didn’t show up showed his true colors immediately . . . that he is unreliable, flaky and socially retarded. Imagine bringing this guy home to your Mom and Dad, and he spends the whole night hitting on your sister . . .
