I want you to look around your house, and I want you to ask yourself: if my dream girl came over today, would this house represent who I am?  Is this furniture a statement of who I am? Is the artwork that’s on the wall a statement of who I am?

Is the lawn furniture in the living room a statement of who you are? (Those are for those of you that never really decided to get a couch.) Does your bathroom resemble who you are? Does your bedroom resemble who you are? Do some of you live in a place that you used to live with your ex, and all her stuff is still around because you were too lazy to get rid of it?

Where you live represents very much who you are. Are you living in a neighborhood that represents who you are? Are there enough things to do in your neighborhood that keep you busy? Are there enough people like yourself that you can meet? Is there a market that you go to in your neighborhood that you really enjoy?  Does your neighborhood represent who you are?

Does your city represent who you are?  Do you enjoy where you live?  Are you proud to say you live in that area?  Does it represent the lifestyle that you want?  Is it the climate that you want?  I want you to take a look at where you live today, and I want you to ask yourself: is this where I want to be? Am I around people that I want to meet? Am I living in an area that I’m proud of? Am I living in an area that I really enjoy?

If the answers are too often “no”, then I encourage you to move to an area that inspires answers that are more often “yes”.

Being really happy with where you live and living in a place that really represents who you are as a person, is a big step in meeting like-minded people that you can date and enjoy.   So look around your surrounding and ask yourself: do I live in a shantytown with people that I do not connect with or do I live in the place of my dreams? Your choice.

Well, the first weekend of 2012 is officially here.  Have you made plans yet to set things into action and go out and meet people this weekend?  Have you made resolutions to master your communication skills, go on more dates, get laid more often?  Have you started seeing somebody new and now you’re looking to turn this into something real instead of just another failed relationship

Whatever it is your goals are, the only way to get it done is by starting off on the right foot and actually taking action.  Start off the New Year with the right positive energy by setting goals for yourself and then following through with baby steps.

Maybe you want to go out for 5 hours each day this weekend and talk to as many people as you can instead of staring at your computer or watching the football games and wasting away your weekend.  Maybe you want to go out and approach three beautiful women and start a conversation with each of them this Saturday, and then do the same thing again on Sunday.  Maybe you’ve had your eye set on the cute Starbucks girl that you’ve never had the guts to ask out and now you’re ready to say, “Fuck it” and tell her you think she’s cute.

Maybe you already have an exact picture of how you expect it to go down all planned out in your head.  Maybe you can picture right now exactly the way it’s supposed to happen.

Momentum Is Everything

Whatever your vision is, whatever your goals are, right now is the time to set the tone for the rest of the year.  Your goals may just be in your head as dreams, desires, or New Years resolutions right now.  But the only way to make them a reality is by making a commitment to yourself to put your internal goals into action.  Make that internal decision to go out this weekend and follow though on your plans.

Take little baby steps if your need to.  Tone it down.  Maybe you don’t have the skillset right now to go out on Saturday and randomly approach five women.  Start off by approaching one woman and see what happens.  Then the day after, approach two women.  Maybe you don’t have the confidence right now to ask out the Starbucks girl.  That’s fine.  Start off by engaging her in a 15 second conversation.  Start off just by smiling and saying, “Hi.”  It’s all part of a much bigger picture, and that picture is how you envision your social life to look like this year.

The main thing right now is to make a commitment to yourself to take action.  Give yourself your word, and then keep your own word.  Put one foot in front of the other and just start doing something.  Momentum is the name of the game.  Get a start on something, even if it’s just a little tiny baby step, because that is the first step in following through on the bigger picture of your commitments.

By following through on your commitments right now, this weekend, you are setting the tone for the rest of the year.  You are rolling the ball into action and it’s going to start gaining momentum.  Then the next day, you take another step and put your goals even further into action.  And further.

The last thing you want to do right now is sit at the office, think about doing something, and then go home, order Chinese food and watch  YouTube videos or read some pick-up e-book until midnight.

You need to do whatever it takes to get your ass into gear.  o get that one foot even just a few inches in front of the other.  Think about it—how do you want to set the tone for 2012?  Do you want to start off with a bang?  Do you want to start off with the great feeling of actually getting one step closer to your commitments?  Or do you want to start off the year by sitting around thinking about how you’re going to plan your strategy?  Because that’s a waiting game you can play with yourself forever.  And yes, you will be playing with yourself…forever.

If you need a pep talk, email me with where you’re at and what your goals are to shogo@davidwygant.com and I will personally hold you accountable to me and kick your ass into gear.

It’s all about momentum, so get that ball rolling guys.  Because once you’re in gear, you will be unstoppable.

Earlier, I asked all the awesome people on my newsletter subscriber list to come to the blog today and post their goals for 2012. Many of the guys I speak with want a girlfriend this year. And if you’re a woman, you might want a boyfriend this year. (I know a lot of women still post here and then they post on the women’s site as well also.)

What are your goals? What do you want to accomplish? What do you want to experience? What do you want to feel? How many women do you want to meet? Do you want a relationship? Do you want to meet a wife? Do you want…what exactly?

I’ve asked everybody on my newsletter subscriber list to come back to the blog today and state what they want to accomplish this year because this is what I want to do for 2012: I want every single person on this blog to be held accountable by each other. I want everybody to really look at each other and support one another this year. I think it’s a great way to start. No back-stabbing. No arguments on the blog. We all lay on the line today what we want to accomplish in 2012. And we make it the theme this year to support one another.

When anybody has a question, I want everybody to reach out and support that person and help them overcome whatever fear or barrier they might have.

So this year, my goal for the blog is to make everybody support one another. I’d love to see 100 comments a day of people helping each other. And if one person has a problem one day, let’s all dive in and help that person. Even if it takes 30 comments to help them out. Let’s do it. Think about how you can change someone’s life just by doing that. Also by helping other people, you learn so much about yourself. You learn about who you are and what you’re about. You learn about how to really work on your own stuff, too.

So 2012 on the blog, we’re going to support and help one another. Post away, friends.

A while ago I came up with this really fun exercise. I told my client to use the alien approach. For those of you that have no idea what the alien approach is, it’s very simple. You take a full day and pretend like you were just beamed onto the earth for 24 hours.

How would you act?

First off, okay, you’d be in a weird body because you’re used to having lizard guts, eyes that can light a fire, and long, bony, metallic hands. Now you’re in a human body for the very first time and you find that very peculiar.

So what would you do for that one day? Well, first, you’d go around and you’d look at people. You’d survey things, you’d observe all day, you’d wonder what people are feeling, what they were doing. You’d be curious about everything that these people were doing–hell, if somebody ordered a turkey sandwich, you’d be so curious because you’ve never had turkey before. So you could ask if that turkey stuff is any good.

On top of all that, you’d have enthusiasm for everything around you because basically you are brand new to this planet, never having been here before, never experiencing it before. Never even knowing what anything is. You’d be curious about the world around you.
Not only that, you’d want to talk to as many people as possible because you’d want to find out what the human race is all about. And you’d be reporting back to the king or queen alien so you’d be required to give them a full report.

You’d spend the entire day being hyper-sensitive to the world around you. You wouldn’t worry about your alien phone, or your “a-phone”. You wouldn’t worry about reading and sending out texts, e-mails, checking your Facebook, nothing like that.

All you’d worry about is trying to figure out the human race – meeting people, talking to people, being curious about people and things.

Here’s a deal for all of you who have trouble meeting people: go out there and use the alien exercise. Pretend you were beamed down to earth from another planet for the day. Pretend like you’ve never been on Earth before. And do everything that I wrote about above. Have enthusiasm, ask questions, respond to people. You’re an alien, so you want to gather as much information as you possibly can before you’re beamed back to your stratosphere.

Are you a dating “lister”?

Meaning, do you sit down and list all the things you desire in a person and then expect to put yourself out there and meet that very person?
Are you a person who has a checklist for things they’re looking for in a partner? Then at the end of each date, you go home and check off what that person did and didn’t do, or how they lived or didn’t live up to your expectations?

Dating and relationships are always a unique ride for each person. A lot of times you think you’ve found somebody great, they’re the perfect person, and then all of a sudden a few months into dating them you realize that they’re not for you.

How strict are you with your expectations of another person? And how many hoops do you need to make the person you’re dating go through in order to give them the gift of your love?
Check out today’s video and ask yourself if you are as stringent as this guy is in this video. If so, explain down below why you are.

What are your desires, your deal-breakers, and what can you tolerate? What are your negotiables and non-negotiables?

Let’s have a conversation today about how far you’re willing to negotiate when it comes down to things you desire in a relationship.
Let’s make this a great conversation!

This Friday’s blog was going to be another tip from me on navigating the bar scene. I was going to talk about cockblocking, but I’ve been reading some of the recent comments on the blog, and instead I want to write today’s blog in response to some of the comments. We’ll talk about cockblocks next week.

So you’re on the blog reading all this great advice about how to meet women, how to date, and how to get yourself into a relationship. Problem is, when you go out there in real life, you can’t put any of the information we give you to use because you’re not actually meeting anyone. There’s no women around when you go out. Or you can’t approach. Or you do approach but you keep getting No-Thank-Yous.

Why is this happening to you? Maybe you think you’re ugly. Maybe you’re short. Maybe you drive a shitty, beat-up car. So you tell yourself that women are turned off by all of this. They’re so turned off by you. What women are really attracted to is a guy with a full head of hair, 6’2”, and a vacation house in Miami.

Do you have what it takes to get the woman you desire?

And you just can’t compete with a guy like that. You’ve been dealt a shitty hand in life, and all the dating advice in the world isn’t going to change the fact that you’re just not attractive to women.

So you come on the blog and you say, “Screw you David, screw you Shogo, screw Intern Dan, whoever, you give us all this esoteric mindset advice on how to be confident, but all the confidence in the world is not going to make up for the fact that I’m short, fat, bald, and broke, and the cold hard truth is that women are turned off by that.”

You want to attract a lot of women? You want to be a lady’s man? If that’s what you want, here’s the news:

Looks matter. Height matters. Money in the bank matters.

That’s right, all these things–and much much more–do in fact make a difference when it comes down to attracting women. But there’s only so much you can do about any of that. You can’t change it, so why on earth spend another minute dwelling on it?

(And more importantly, all the looks and money in the world will only get you so far in your success with women, but that’s another blog for another day.)

What you need to do is take action and do something about the things that you can actually improve on. And more importantly, you need to let go of the things you can never change about yourself.

You really need to let it go.

You hate your height and you’re bitching about?

Fine. You’re short. I get it.

What do you want from people? Unless you’re willing to go to China to have metal rods implanted into your shins, there is nothing anybody in the world can do about that. There is absolutely no use in you dwelling on the things you don’t like about yourself and beating yourself up over the fact that some woman out there who you don’t even know isn’t going to date you for it.

Is it true that if you’re 5’6”, you will never have a girlfriend who only dates men over 5’10″?

Yes, if that is an absolute requirement for her, that is true. You will never date a woman like that.

Is it true that I, Shogo, will never date a woman who will not go out with an Asian man?

Yes, that is also true. I am Asian. I will never be able to date a woman like that, not for the rest of my life.

The difference with me is that you will never see me sitting around, bitching and moaning about it. I don’t dwell on that for a single moment. I don’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t want me. It doesn’t upset me in the least.

And simply having that mindset automatically makes me more attractive to more women.

Here’s an exercise I want everybody to do:

Get out three sheets of paper. On one sheet, write down all the things about yourself that you don’t like. Take your time with it. And be specific. Don’t just write, “I’m ugly.” Write, “I don’t like the acne scars on my cheekbones.” Write things like, “I don’t like the extra flab on my belly.” “I am 4 inches shorter than I’d like to be.” “My penis is 2 inches shorter than I’d like it to be.” “I don’t like the fact that I have few friends.” “I don’t like my disheveled haircut and dandruff.” “I don’t like my glasses and my dorky wardrobe.”

Write all of that stuff out. Make the list as long as you want and take your time doing it.

Now review that list. Read through each item. On the second sheet, I want you to rewrite each thing that, with some work, you could actually take steps to change about yourself. On the third sheet, rewrite each thing that is a permanent part of you and that YOU CANNOT EVER CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF.

Review that third sheet. Look at it and internalize it. This is who you are. This is who you are for the rest of your life and THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE THAT.

You need to embrace it. You need to love every single thing you wrote about yourself on that third sheet. This is who you are.  These are the things that will never change about you, so fuck anyone who is unwilling to accept you for that. But the first step starts with you accepting yourself and accepting all of your little ugly bits.

You are who you are, guys. We all have things we don’t like about ourselves. Change the things about yourself that you can change, and embrace the things about yourself that you cannot change.

A lot of you are probably in front of your computer or on your phone right now, texting, e-mailing, you’re at different stages of planning out what you’re going to be doing tonight. You’ve waited all week for Friday night. This is going to be the night that you’re going to go out and meet a cool new woman. If all goes right, everything is going to change by the weekend, you’ll have one or two or even three prospective new dates, and your lifestyle is going to be different. You’re finally going to approach the woman you’re most attracted to.

Then what happens? As the night progresses, all those fears and excuses start creeping in. You get paralyzed. You stand around the bar. You do nothing.

Some of you may not even be reading this blog until late night Friday night, and you’ll say to yourself, “David, you just described my night. I was all jazzed. I was all excited. You’re right, slowly but surely, all my fears and excuses crept in and the next thing I knew, I was home again. I was staring at the ceiling, reviewing the night, and I finally came up with something really great to say to the woman I was attracted to, but it’s too late now.”

Here’s what I want all of you who read this blog early today to do. For those of you who are reading it late, do this exercise tomorrow night.

I want you to go out. I don’t want you to talk to a single person tonight. Not one person. I want you to observe, and I want you to watch, and I want you to understand the dynamic of what makes one guy fearless and successful with women, and another guy who goes home and masturbates, dreaming of the woman he wishes he could be with. I want you to watch the guys that are successful with women.

It doesn’t matter what they say, because I’m about to launch a brand new program that’s going to give you everything you need to say in these situations. I want you to take a look at their body language. I want you to take a look at what real attraction is. I want you to look at these guys and I want you to basically see how much fun they’re having. How engaging they are, how they use their hand motions, how they smile, how they walk with confidence. I want you to notice everything about them.

Now what I want you to do is I want you to look at yourself. No, don’t look directly at yourself in the mirror, but look at a guy just like you. I want you to find the guy who’s in the corner with his hands in his pockets, a clueless or frustrated look on his face, the kind of guy you can feel is really thinking with all the monkey chatter going on in his head.

I want you to look at that guy, and I want you to ask yourself this question: if you were a woman, who would you rather talk to? The guy who’s going around talking to everybody and generally just having a great time, or the guy who’s paralyzed in the corner waiting for the woman to go to the bathroom so he can chase her down and find the right moment to talk to her? The guy with that nervous energy who kinda scares people a little?

How do you feel? What type of emotion do you feel when you look at the guys who are having fun versus the guys who are not having fun? This is a great exercise that I have every single client do, any guy who’s ever been successful with women going out and meeting them on a Friday or Saturday night. Every guy goes through this exercise, because you have got to learn how to enjoy yourself before you can start meeting people. If you approach with nervous energy, nothing will happen, but if you approach with a smile while having a good time, the words don’t make a difference.

Note To All Men: If you are already subscribed to my email list you are well aware that next week I’m releasing a new product that is going to empower you to get over the BIGGEST issue you guys have when it comes to meeting women… approach anxiety. I hear it time and time again, and it was confirmed by thousands of survey responses taken by my email subscribers that have been pouring in the past couple of weeks.

I put together a video to help you learn how to kill approach anxiety to become natural with women, simply by using the power of observation!“

I got the Richard Branson book, “Business Stripped Bare,” — that’s a good read. I’ve got “The Art of Seduction” — I’ve heard that’s a great read, but I’ve never read it. I’ve got “The New Psycho-Cybernetics” — I heard that’s a life-changing book. I’ve got Malcolm Gladwell’s book, “What the Dog Saw.” Haven’t read that one yet, either. Got some book called “The Logic of Life.” No idea what that is. I think I picked it up one night in a bookstore when I was walking around. I got something called “Intoxify or Die.” I don’t want to die, but that’s all I know about that. I’ve got a whole bunch of other business books just sitting around.

Why Reading Helps Your Dating

Obviously at one point or another, I bought these really great books with the intent of reading them because of some reason or another, but I never read them. But yet I save them, thinking to myself, I’m going to read them. I’ve actually had “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene sitting on my shelf for four years, and I haven’t read it yet.

What books do you guys have sitting on your shelf? What are some of your favorite books that you’ve read, and have they changed your life? Maybe this might motivate me to read one of these books, or maybe I might just buy one of your books that you recommend, let it sit on my shelf, and let it gather dust with some of my other books. Not only that this is a great topic of conversation for dates.

If I could only go back to that night and speak to that woman that I was attracted to.

If I only got her phone number. If I only gave him my phone number.

If I only took that job and not this one.

We love to play the Game of If. The problem is in life, you really can’t play the Game of If because If will never happen.

We spend a lot of time playing the Game of If. We spend a lot of time thinking about the Game of If. But in reality, all we have is our choices. We made that decision to choose whatever we chose at that moment. We didn’t get that phone number due to whatever issues we had inside our head. We took another job because we didn’t take this other job and if we took the other job, we would have been rich, but we’re not.

Don’t play the Game of If, because you can do that with every decision you make. Learn from the Game of If. Learn from some of the If mistakes so that way you don’t repeat them, so you don’t have to say, if I only told her how I really felt that night, I wouldn’t be in this situation. If I only took that job. How about the next time a situation of If comes up, you think back? You need to think through the decision, and you start trusting yourself a little bit more.

Dating Is A Game

I found that when we play the Game of If, we’re doing so because we don’t trust ourselves 100 percent in a situation. We don’t listen to our gut and what our gut is really telling us. So we throw the towel down in there and we play that Game of If.

Let’s eliminate the Game of If from all our lives. When you listen to your gut, and stick with it, you’ll feel 100 percent comfortable because you won’t backtrack, dwell and obsess over the decision, and it won’t matter how it works out.

Doesn’t matter what day it is on the calendar, doesn’t matter what month it is.

It could be any day on the calendar, it could be any month. But today, July 13 2011, I’d like all of you to show appreciation for somebody in your life that’s been there for you.

Maybe it’s a good friend, maybe it’s somebody you work with, maybe it’s a brother, sister, mother, father, whoever it might be. But, today I’d like you just to show some appreciation for somebody.

Take some time out of your day and tell somebody how you feel about them and how much you appreciate them in your life. It’s a wonderful thing to do and it’s something that I think we don’t do enough of. So, today, on this random summer day, we’re going to make this a day of appreciation.

Tell me who you gave your appreciation for, how you felt afterwards and how they felt. Look forward to hearing your stories today on our random summertime day of appreciation.