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Archive for the ‘Goals & Aspirations’ Category

     

What You Can Learn From Matt Leinart

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

Let me ask you a couple of questions…

Do you suffer from high expectations?

Are you really doing all that you can do to meet the opposite sex?

Be honest with yourself!

Or do you suffer from Matt Leinart disease? (Yes, that’s him on the right… A little drunk you might say)

What’s that? If you haven’t followed the news, Matt was expected to be a starter for the Arizona Cardinals, but has now been released.

To find out more you need to listen to today’s eye opening life changing podcast!

To Download Today’s Podcast Click Here!

WOMEN: Click Here To View My Women’s Mastery Series

MEN: Click Here To View My Men’s Mastery Series

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Are You Constantly At Their Beck And Call?

Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

One of the most important things that all of you can remember when you’re going out and meeting people is that friends are noise. They’re that random email that comes in all day long.

If you’re somebody who sits by your computer answering every email as soon as it comes in and you think you’re being proficient by doing so, you’re wrong. You’re actually not being proficient, because what is really happening is that you are allowing yourself to be at the beck and call of all the noise coming into your inbox.

Every single time you hear a beep signaling a new message has arrived in your inbox, do you know what that is? It’s an intrusion.

It’s basically somebody saying, “Answer me right now!” It’s almost like a two year-old throwing a temper tantrum in a supermarket. If you give into that temper tantrum, you made the biggest mistake in the entire world.

You don’t give the little tyrant a Popsicle, when it’s not time for a Popsicle. You reward the Popsicle when it is time for the Popsicle. Answering that email is basically rewarding somebody for intruding on your life.

If you’re in the middle of doing something and you get an email, it’s called noise. So when you’re going out and meeting people, your friends being with you out there are also noise.

All of a sudden you go and see a woman you’re attracted to and you want to talk to her. If you engage in conversation with your friend about it, your friend is going to be noise. “Ah, man, you can’t approach her right now. It doesn’t look like she wants to talk.” Noise. Negativity and noise.

You’re most efficient when you are by yourself. So when you decide to go out and practice meeting people to work on your social life, it should be like going on a date with yourself.

The most important thing to do is to be by yourself, go out there, and not have anybody judge you. Friends are noise, just like that annoying text or email that comes in.

Why do we have to answer our texts and our emails right away? We don’t.

We also don’t need to drag somebody along when we’re going out trying to meet somebody. So when you guys go out and meet people, do it alone.

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Destroy Your Fear

Tuesday, August 10th, 2010

What are your fears? I have a couple of fears. One of them is a huge fear that I’m not going to tell you about now, but will share with you later.

I have something I’m working on right now that is one of my biggest fears, and which is challenging me more that I have ever before been challenged. It is something I work on every single day, and something I kick myself in the ass about every single day.

So let’s talk about fears today. Let’s find out how to overcome any fear — whether it’s approach anxiety, fear of commitment, fear of having children or whatever it might be.

Everyone is in a different place in their life. Everyone has different fears.

I remember when I used to have a fear of flying. I was terrified to fly. It was one of my worst nightmares.

I always thought the plane was going to crash. I thought that turbulence meant that the plane was about to fall apart. During much of my 20′s I didn’t even travel, because I thought I was going to die in a plane crash.

Now I am addicted to traveling. How did that shift take place?

I started traveling. I started getting on airplanes. I started relaxing. I started listening to good music. I started thinking positive thoughts.

When I got on an airplane, I would meditate. It became my quiet time.

Now I actually find being on an airplane to be one of the most meditative things I can do. Granted, the seats hurt my ass really badly. My brain, however, really just loves to zone out on a plane and relax. It’s one of my top ten favorite things to do.

So how do you get over a fear that you have? You think positive things. You envision the outcome.

If you have a fear of approaching women, then envision what it feels like to be able to approach any woman you want. If you have a fear of having kids, then visualize how amazing it’s going to be to hold your son or daughter for the first time. If you have a fear of commitment, visualize how incredible it will be to get really deep with somebody.

It’s all about visualizing my friends. Visualize all the beauty of what it’s going to feel like to get there (wherever the “there” is relative to your fear). Then when you’re on the journey to get there, you will hold on to the beauty of that vision the entire trip.

I talk more deeply and in detail about how I overcame all my own fears. Click to find out how to get rid of approach anxiety and any other fears today.

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The New Dating Diet

Monday, August 9th, 2010

You guys have been asking me to come out with a diet and exercise plan. So I wanted to tell you all about what I call “The Dating Diet.” More about that in just a minute.

I’ve been working out my entire adult life, and I want to share a funny — but true — story with you about how I started working out. It’s going to sound goofy to a lot of you.

There was actually one movie that pushed me to want to start working out. It wasn’t Rocky. It wasn’t Dirty Dancing.

It was the movie Flashdance. Yes, I actually went to see the movie Flashdance when it came out.

I watched all the dancing scenes, noticed the way the bodies were totally toned and ripped, and it motivated me in a very bizarre way. Maybe it was all the booze I drank in college, but I remember arriving home after seeing that movie and suddenly started to pound the weights.

I haven’t stopped since. Give or take about five pounds, I’ve basically been the same weight my entire adult life.

I consistently work out. I do cardio four days a week. I lift weights three days a week.

I used to do yoga before I blew out my back. I have now found that being tighter actually keeps me together better.

A lot of people have trouble starting to work out. You gain five or ten (or twenty or thirty) pounds, and you look at yourself in the mirror not liking the way you look.

What a lot of people do in that situation is to head straight for the microwave and eat even more. Others will sit on the couch and say, “I’m going to start exercising next week.”

Here is the truth. If you don’t like the way you look and if you can’t embrace your own body, then nobody you date will either. That is why I call this “The Dating Diet,” because it is all about you feeling great about yourself and your body when you’re dating.

There’s nothing that turned me off more when I was dating, than when a woman insisted on making the room completely dark the first time she got naked with me. I would be looking forward to seeing her naked body, and all she wanted to do was leave the room completely dark because she felt insecure about her body.

How you feel about yourself is so important. So if you feel you’ve been slacking, you need to push yourself.

Start going to the gym, and do just 20 minutes of cardio in the beginning. Then the next week, move up to 25 minutes of cardio, and increase to 30 minutes of cardio the week after that.

Just get started. Whatever you choose to do, start slow and build up.

If you’re not feeling great about yourself and feel uncomfortable at the gym at first, then pick a time to go when there are fewer people there until you feel more comfortable.

Write down all of your excuses. “It’s too cold right now to go to the gym.” “I’m too comfortable on this sofa, and don’t want to miss my favorite shows.” “I didn’t get up early enough today.”

Write down your excuses, and realize that all of them are just that — excuses. You must be dedicated.

Now I’m going to ask you to do something that will really be a challenge for a lot of you, but I want to push you a little bit. Stop reading this blog, go to the bathroom, get undressed and look at yourself from all angles in the bathroom mirror.

What do you like about your body? What do you dislike about your body? What you change about your body? What do you need to accept about your body?

If there are parts of your body you don’t like that you can change through diet and exercise, it’s time to commit to work toward getting those body parts to look how you will love them. If there are other parts of your body that you don’t like that weights and cardio won’t change, then it’s really important to embrace and love who you are.

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The One Skill You Must Have

Saturday, August 7th, 2010

I met with Coach Jacob on the phone the other day. Jacob is one of my lead coaches and an unbelievable Bootcamp instructor.

He’s a little version of me . . . literally. I’m 6’2″ and he’s 5’7″. He’s almost like my adopted son. He’s an amazing, loving and honest person, but like any child he can also drive me crazy.

One way that Jacob drives me crazy is that he doesn’t understand what following up is. Follow-up is the key to life.

Now Jacob knows how to follow up with women, but sometimes when I give him work tasks he will follow up on his own schedule. He’s fine with me writing this blog, by the way, because he’s always contributing – in the blog, being there for all you guys, and he is always about self-growth. He will always admit both his strong points and his weak points.

Follow-up is the key to anybody being very successful in life. This is not just about dating either.

Granted, if you get a phone number from a woman you need to follow up with her. If you’re the least bit interested, you should follow up right away. I always say that you should give someone a call within 24 hours.

Call them (or call them back) and rephrase something you talked about with them that interested you. That way the conversation feels like a never-ending conversation. Things will flow really easily.

A lot of guys will get a phone number and they’ll wait two weeks to call that woman. Then when they do call, the woman will wonder why it took him so long to call. Even if you say that you were traveling or give some other reason, the woman will no longer be interested.

By not calling for two weeks, you just look like another ass. You look like a guy who is playing games and didn’t make her a priority.

Every woman wants to feel like a priority. I don’t care if it’s the first time you go out with her or the hundredth time you go out with her, every woman wants to feel special.

Follow-up is the key in dating and in every other part of life. If you are in sales and you get a sales lead on which you don’t follow up right away, you are never going to make that sale.

Someone calls you at your office and it takes you four days to follow up with them. In this day and age, there are so many different ways to communicate – you have emails, texts, and cell phones. So you don’t even have to be home or at your office to send someone a message.

If you can’t call someone right away, how hard is it to just send somebody a quick email saying “I’m busy for the next day or two, but I really look forward to speaking with you after that. Have a great few days!”

It’s all about following up. All successful people understand that follow-up is one of the things that made them successful.

You want to be successful at dating?  You better learn how to follow up.  If you want to be successful in business, you better really learn how to follow up.

So many people put things off. Those are the people who wake up every New Year’s Day wondering why they aren’t making enough money or aren’t successful in their dating life. They are the ones who write down the same New Year’s resolutions year after year.

If you really want to succeed with life — with women, in business, or in anything else — you need to learn to follow up. If you’re poor at following up, put a “to do” list together every single day. As you do each thing on the list, cross it out.

At the end of the day, look at your “to do” list and transfer all the items that aren’t scratched out on a new piece of paper as your next day’s “to do” list. Every time that you think of something you need to do, write it down right away so you don’t forget.

Say you’re busy doing three or four things and all of a sudden you remember that you need to call Joe. Since you are in the middle of another task, just write down “Call Joe” on your list and that way you will remember to do it after you’re finished.

Another reason to make this list for yourself each day, is that writing everything down gives you a way to prioritize. You can put older tasks on the top and newer ones on the bottom, or maybe you put the most important things on the top of the list. The important thing is that you re-look at your “to do” list every single day.

When I was dating a lot, I would write down every woman that I met. I would write down what they were about, who they were and when I called them (or was going to call them).

I would write all that down automatically — “Met Jane at Whole Foods. Call her Tuesday.” Then I would write things I learned about them like, “Called Jane and met her yesterday. She was cool, liked ….”

I would do this because I know in life we get really busy, and then all of a sudden you’ve forgotten to call a great woman because time got away from you. If you do call her after three or four days have gone by, she’s going to look at it as you being rude.

So get a yellow pad, start writing things down and get that “to do” list together! Review your “to do” list several times a day, and make sure you remain focused and on track.

All of you can thank Coach Jacob for this great blog. I wrote it, but he made me feel it.

Click here to listen to me talk all about my personal tricks to how to become successful in every part of your life — and how to create a roadmap on how to get there.

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How You Can Do It Too

Monday, July 26th, 2010

Come to one of my Bootcamps and get coached by my coaches and I, and we will give you every skill you need to be successful. We will kick your ass. You will have every bit of information you need to create total success in your dating life.

That by itself, though, is not enough for you to actually become successful. You need to be persistent and you need to believe in yourself.

Look at the most successful professional sports teams, and you will see that each one has these two qualities. Take last year’s New York Jets as a great example. 52 players who all believed in their coach, believed in their team and believed in themselves, and they achieved so much more than anyone thought they ever could.

Mark Sanchez was a nervous rookie, but he is going to be a great quarterback because of the experience he gained playing in the playoffs during his first year. There were probably 25 quarterbacks who were better players than Mark Sanchez at the time he was playing in the playoffs, but there he was as one of only four quarterbacks playing in those playoffs.

It’s about being prepared and sticking with your plan. It’s called persistence. It’s called believing in yourself and the people with whom you surround yourself.

What do you want out of life? Write it down. Learn the skills to get it. Then be persistent and believe.

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Don’t Edit Your Thoughts

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010

Here’s another reason why you need to journal. You need to journal so that you learn not to edit your thoughts.

When you speak, you speak from your heart. You can articulate your words without any judgment.

This is one reason I love Copytalk. You call them up, speak into your phone — talking to the air really — and speak your thoughts. This allows you to learn how to journal without editing your thoughts.

When you write, you’ll tend to re-read sentences. You’ll take something out because you’ll start thinking about what you wrote. You start editing your own thoughts.

What we are all really trying to do is to become better men and women. So we need to really try to stop editing ourselves and our thoughts.

We spend so much time editing ourselves every single day. When we see someone to whom we’re attracted, we know we want to go over and talk to them.
What we do, though, is talk to them based on edited conversation we’ve had in our heads before we ever spoke to them.

So being able to really just say what you feel, and to articulate it, is amazing. If you journaled using Copytalk and did this, then when you got the transcription back, you could read your thoughts out loud to yourself (which is very powerful) and add more thoughts to them.

When you start to read your thoughts, you’re going to realize that all the things you say are really beautiful. Yes, they are also vulnerable and they might scare you a little bit at times, but they’re amazing.

The most important thing to remember is that whatever they are, they are your thoughts. In order to be able to go out and meet people you will love, you need to be able to articulate your thoughts this way.

When you read back the dictation that you get from Copytalk, you need to read it back with no judgment. You need to look at what you said as being where you were in your life and in your mind just on that particular day. Think to yourself, “Wow, that was me on April 2nd. That’s cool that I felt that way.”

You will then start to own your thoughts and your feelings, and realize that you are an amazing person. You will realize that you are a gift to the world.

Not only that, but if you would send all of your transcriptions to friends and family members, I guarantee that they would get to know you in a whole different light. They would look at you and say, “Man, I can’t believe it. You’ve never expressed that to me. That’s a beautiful thing.”

Part of what I do whenever I coach a client, is to make them get a three month subscription to Copytalk. Then I make them send me all of their raw thoughts. Of course, I then get on Copytalk myself and send my raw thought reactions right back to them. All of this helps them to get raw with themselves.

The beauty of life is being able to say freely what you feel and what you desire without judgment. It’s funny how people are always looking for validation from other people.

Really you should never be looking for validation from others. When you seek validation from others it is based on your own insecurity.

Life is a mirror. We get exactly who we really are — the true person we are 24/7 and not the edited version of ourselves.

So get raw with yourself. Enjoy yourself and don’t be afraid of anything you have to say, because everything you say is beautiful — a beautiful thought or a beautiful emotion.

If any of you are ready to really get raw, get yourself a Copytalk membership and start exploring yourself. Start realizing that all of the things you say and do are there for you and everyone else to enjoy. And if you do get copytalk tell them that i referred you.

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Where Is The Compassion?

Monday, June 14th, 2010

It’s funny. Someone recently said to me, “All these experts on training, finance and organization are all making money on stuff that no one needs to be taught. It’s 100% instinct. The people who use their instincts have no reason to need someone to teach them how to date. It’s just plain common sense.”

That’s a great quote. I love that quote. I’m going to agree with it . . . 100%.

Forget about all the experts — especially in dating and finance. I mean, come on.

Look how great Americans are in finance. Look at all the great things they’ve done to themselves.

Look at the number of people who have borrowed against their house thinking that the real estate market was going to go up 100% every year. Look at the situation those people are in right now. Look at all the people who kept their money in the stock market during the .com heyday, thinking their stocks would go up 200% every year.

Yes, people don’t need financial help at all. People – the majority of people – clearly need a lot of financial help. Something like 95% of people who win the lottery are broke within six years.

People need financial help! A friend of mine bought a house in 2005. In Los Angeles, houses went up in value 132% in five years. He thought that houses would continue to go up and up because there is no more land in Los Angeles. Now he’s lost $300,000.

So according to that quote, people don’t need financial help? It’s “just plain common sense?” Really? I love that quote.

As for dating, sure I’ll agree that it too is “just plain common sense.” In this case I’m actually not being sarcastic.

The problem is that people don’t trust themselves when it comes to dating. They’re afraid to approach. They’re afraid to say what’s on their mind.

When they’re on a date, they’re afraid to challenge somebody because they are looking for validation and approval. They want to be liked. They want to be loved.

Don’t get me wrong. I love people who figure things out on their own. I love people who are financially secure or are great at dating all on their own.

The problem is that most of those people think that everyone else should be just like them. It was so easy for them, and they have no compassion for others who are screwing up in those areas and aren’t mastering them on their own.

Let me tell you, the 80/20 rule is true, and 80% of the world is screwing up. They don’t get it. They don’t understand. 80% of the world can’t balance their own checkbook, make a budget or walk across the room to approach someone of the opposite sex.

So when people say something like the quote I put at the beginning of the blog, I say to them, “You have no compassion.” If you need help in one part of your life, you should go and get it!

If you need financial help, there are financial people from whom you can get help. If you need help with dating, there are people like myself who can help you.

Really, a lot of what I teach is to get people to trust their instincts. I teach people how to trust themselves, love themselves and how to be more self-aware.

Shame on you to the person who gave me the quote that started this blog, for thinking that nobody needs to be taught these things. Shame on you.

There are so many people out there who are lonely, angry, upset, and broke. So many lonely people who can’t date, who can’t make the right relationship choices, but according to the person who gave me that quote they should just figure it out on their own. It’s all instincts and common sense.

The problem is that these people’s instincts and common sense haven’t gotten them anywhere. So why pass judgment about these people, and about their decisions to seek help. Passing judgment on people is the reason we’re in such a mess in this country.

I love that I teach people how to date, how to meet people and how to love themselves. It’s an honor for me to do that. I have compassion for it and I enjoy it.

So come on folks. Stop judging others who are having trouble with some part of their life, and start supporting them.

I can imagine what happens when the woman who gave me the quote at the beginning of the blog has a friend come to her for advice. She probably just says to her friend, “Just use your common sense.” I can also imagine how badly and how uncomfortable that friend must feel after hearing that.

What this woman should say to a friend like that is, “You know, I might have gotten that part of my life in order, but I can totally understand where you are at and how you feel. Let’s find you some help and the right people to talk to about this, so you can make this part of your life amazing.”

Let’s start supporting each other and stop judging each other.

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