We don’t talk about one-night stands that often. Let’s talk about them from the women’s side today.
When it comes to one-night stands for women, I say go for it! Go have a one-night stand.
They’re amazing for your sexuality. They’ll make you feel free. You’ll have a blast, and I want you to do it with no guilt.
If you choose to have a one-night stand, just pick a guy and have fun. Don’t judge yourself. Don’t allow your friends to judge you.
Sex is something about which we need to be free and open. We need to stop judging ourselves, and start experiencing ourselves.
To the men, if you have a one-night stand with a woman — if she allows you to have a one-night stand with her — don’t judge her. Just thank her for sharing an amazing night with you.
Give her the option of whether or not to do it again with you. If she chooses you to have a one-night stand, just say “That was a great night. I don’t know if you want to move forward and do this again, but I’d like to.” If she declines, thank her for a great night and make her feel wonderful.
So, if you have a one-night stand with somebody, let the other person feel great about it. They chose you for that one-night stand because they thought you weren’t going to be an asshole at the end of it.
The next time you have a one-night stand, thank the person for a wonderful evening. You never know. You might get another one-night stand with that person a few days later.
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The other day Sonja and I were walking around, and I saw this really cute cat. I was at the foot of the driveway, and the cat was at the back of the driveway.
Sonja looked at me and said, “Oh my God, a Siamese cat. I love them!” I said, “Me too.”
So we both got down on the ground and looked into each other’s eyes. We had that really great gaze that only lovers can have.
All of a sudden, we got involved in this heavy petting session — right there at the end of the driveway. It was really heavy petting.
That cat kept pushing up against us really hard as we were petting it. It kept raising its ass up in the air because it was loving the heavy petting so much. It kept banging its head against us, to encourage us to continue the heavy petting.
When we left, we were hoping the cat wouldn’t follow us since we had to cross the street. I know after an intense heavy petting session, cats tend to follow you because they are so satisfied.
So why this whole cat story? Well it was inspired by an email I just received.
The email said, “I met up and took a trip with a guy. At the end of the trip, we kissed and had some heavy petting, but no sex. Then he went back to his country. . .”
Heavy petting? Really?
Are we rubbing each other’s heads like cats? Are we touching each other on that certain spot above the ass, resulting in us sticking our butts up in the air? Are we getting down on all fours and saying stupid things to one another so that the other person will touch us with heavier hands?
Heavy petting just sounds so hot. “God, Sonja and I made out the other night. It was so hot. Then, all of the sudden, we were heavy petting . . . ” Come on now.
Heavy petting is the weirdest term in the world. Who came up with that term?
What ever happened to the term “fooling around?” How about saying that you were caressing each other’s bodies? How about saying that you were sexually touching each other? How about just saying kissing and some great foreplay?
When did we become animals? When did “heavy petting” become a term in our common vocabulary? Let’s talk about that today.
In the meantime, I have to go because my girl is looking at me right now wagging her tail and I need to take her for a walk. Wait, actually I am going to do some heavy petting on Daphne my dog, so that she will be extra satisfied when she pees.
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I really thought this was a great subject, and one I haven’t tackled in a long time. Here is an email I just received from a woman:
“Dear David,
My self-confidence is really a problem. I’m 42 years old, never married, and very inexperienced with sex. Other stuff not a problem. I’ve had long relationships in my past and those guys were okay with it. Plus, I was younger and many of those guys were not interested in becoming fathers then either.
I made a choice to not risk an unwanted pregnancy in my 20s and 30s in conjunction with my personal beliefs and values. When guys did try to have sex with me, it was not in the context of a relationship. I had reached a point where I just wanted to know what it was like, and I’m sure I did not learn a lot from that.
While I’m not worried about it now as I have no intention of sleeping with someone just to enjoy dating, I want to know a man’s take on discovering this about a woman, especially later in life.
Anonymous”
This email at first kind of threw me. There are so many different religious beliefs about sexual intercourse, and I think they are very very antiquated. I really do.
I think sex is a wonderful thing. I think sex between two consenting adults is a wonderful thing. There are so many kinds of birth control out there nowadays that you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant.
I really truly believe that sexual experience is just a great thing to have, and that it’s great to explore and learn about your own sexuality. This woman is 42 years old, and she’s missed a lot of years of great sex due to her personal beliefs.
My advice to this woman, and to anybody in a similar situation and point in their life, is to really just explore sex and enjoy it. Tell men that you’re inexperienced, but that you’re willing to learn. Be open to the experience.
If I was with a woman who said she was very sexually inexperienced, I wouldn’t judge her at all. I would just enjoy it, teach her and explore her sexuality with her.
So if you truly want to learn about men and how to have great sex, this is how you do it. You need to just be honest with them. If you’re honest, then things will be great.
This is a really interesting topic. Guys, what are your thoughts on this? Have you known women who are really sexually inexperienced?
To the women, have any of you waited your whole life for the right man to come along, he hasn’t shown up, and now you’re in your 40′s with little or no sexual experience? What do you do about this situation?
I would love to hear from all of you on this.
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So many guys worry about the kiss at the end of the first date, because they really think it seals the deal (or, in guy terminology, that it “closes” her). In reality, though, the kiss is actually the least important part of the date.
The kiss means absolutely nothing unless you’ve done all the rest of the stuff right. I feel that if you pay attention to what the woman has to say — if you listen, react to her, smile in her presence and enjoy the date — that the kiss is really easy.
Not ending the date with a kiss is so different from how most guys think. I truly believe that you shouldn’t play tonsil hockey at the end of the first date. There is no reason to do that.
That’s a sexual thing. That’s a male thing. That’s an ego thing. It’s a man who is acting like a little boy who feels like he has to prove to everyone that he can get a kiss from a girl.
A real man couldn’t care less about the kiss at the end of the first date. A real man builds attraction by listening to her, talking to her, enjoying her company and asking her out for the second date. Those are the things that a real man does on a first date.
The best “kiss close” you can do at the end of a first date is to look into the woman’s eyes, reach in, give her a kiss on the lips, pull back and smile at her. That alone is so much more powerful that figuring when to jam you tongue in her mouth.
That subtle little kiss, in conjunction with asking her out at the end of the first date, will keep her thinking about you way more than any makeout session. So come on guys, do you want to be a boy or would you rather be a man?
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Have you guys heard the famous quote of mine that’s been circulating all over the Internet? That quote is, “An orgasm a day keeps the Tyson away.” (Yes, I mean Mike Tyson)
It’s amazing what a good orgasm will do. I’m not talking about self-administered orgasms.
To tell you the truth, those kind of orgasms are lame. They really are.
It doesn’t take much skill to plug a vibrator into the wall, put it on your clit and fifteen seconds later scream “Ohhhhhh!” as you come. Bravo! Let me give you a standing ovation. Also, to the men out there who are beating off in the middle of the day over the sink with hand lotion they stole from their grandmother, I say get real!
Those are not the kind of orgasms I am talking about here. What I am talking about is the sex you have in a relationship that makes the fights go away.
Now, I’m also not talking about taking off your clothes, humping and getting each other off (basically masturbating inside each other). That is not what sex is all about.
Granted, I’ve had relationships in which the sex was really just about masturbating inside each other. I’m sure all of you have.
What I am talking about here is being connected to each other’s needs, wants and desires leading up to sex. That means tuning in to how your lover needs to be taken.
Are you someone who just needs to be thrown down on the ground in a testosterone-driven rage and be taken while they look in your eyes? Are you someone who needs verbal foreplay? Whatever it is, we are all very different sexually.
We all love the act itself. Who doesn’t love the warmth and the moisture and the heat of that whole experience?
I remember when I was a baby what my first words were to my Mother. I said, “Wow, it’s so warm in your amniotic sac.”
When I slid my way out, I couldn’t wait to get back in. It took me eighteen and a half years to get back inside.
The bottom line here is to know how you are wired sexually. What do you need the most in your lover? This is something I want all of you to think about today.
Do you need someone to seduce you? Do you need someone who will look in your eyes and talk dirty to you in order to turn you on?
Are you someone who likes to get raw and dirty, and just be taken? You want to have dinner, go home and have your lover f*^k the shit out you?
Write down whatever it is that you want and need. This is very important and something that a lot of people overlook.
Like your good friend Dr. David says, “an orgasm a day keeps the Tyson away.” It keeps the fighting away.
The only issue, and what’s important, is how we get to that orgasm. You may not be aligned with somebody sexually; they may be a totally different sexual type than you are. In that situation you might be having great sex, but it doesn’t mean you are being fulfilled.
So it’s really important before you get into a relationship (or even if you’re in one already), that you are straight about who you are sexually. Be honest about who you are and what you want. This is so important because once you start having sex with someone, it’s very hard (no pun intended) to make changes.
See everyone tomorrow!
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Women ask me all the time, “What do men find romantic?” It’s interesting. There are a lot of women who think that all men (as a gender) are not romantic.
I also get a lot of women who email me and say something like, “I wish my boyfriend was more romantic.” Let me tell you something. There are also a lot of men who wish their girlfriend was more romantic.
For those women out there who are looking to be more romantic for your man, or to really light a fire in your relationship, here are seven quick tips on how to get your man to feel romantic:
1.Candles Are Not Just A “Woman Thing”: Candles are not only for women. Show your romantic intent by lighting candles all throughout the house that he’ll see when he walks through the door. It’s romantic, and it makes a man feel wonderful. So many women think that candles and champagne are things only women like. In reality, though, men react the same way to those things. A lot of men will set a romantic example of what they want by the romantic things they do for women, hoping the woman will do things like that back to him.
2.The Power Of A Simple Kiss: There is so much power in a simple kiss — a simple hello kiss, a simple goodnight kiss or a simple kiss before you leave in the morning. All of these things are romantic to a man. They make a man feel connected to you throughout the day. Those kisses make him feel wonderful in a way that lingers and will have him thinking about you all day long.
3.The No Special Reason Text: Send your man a simple text in the middle of the day saying, “Hey babe. I can’t get you out of my mind.” It will make him feel really good all day long. It will also make him feel very romantic as well.
4.Just A Note To Say…: It’s funny. A lot of men go out there and buy flowers for their woman or will write her a card, but how many women write their man a card? Think about writing your man a card just for the sake of it being a nice romantic gesture. You go to the supermarket or the drug store and you see a great little card there. Buy it, write him a little note and then leave it on his pillow so he’ll see it before he leaves in the morning. That way he can read it all day long. It is a great way to make a man feel romantic.
5.The Unexpected Surprise: Think about a way to surprise your man. Set a night where you will surprise him and he will not be expecting it. Instead of the usual Friday or Saturday night where you say “Hey babe, what do you want to do tonight?,” why don’t you create and plan a night for him. Take him out for a great meal or take him to a ball game. Take the initiative.
It’s amazing how men and women crave the same things, but yet don’t understand the dynamics of what their actions cause. Although a romantic night for a woman may be different than a romantic night for a man, it’s really all about the effort that you put into the night that makes the other person feel warm, special and romantic.
6.Set The Mood: Setting a special mood at home makes a man feel romantic. When he comes home from the office, for example, you could have his favorite music playing, rub his shoulders and tell him you want to hear all about his day. It’s the simple things like this that make a man feel romantic. Allowing a man to share his day with you makes a man feel very romantic.
7.Those Three Little Words: This one may seem a little too simple to you, but there is nothing that makes a man feel greater and more romantic than hearing the words “I love you” come out of your mouth. Say it when he walks through the door or when he helps you with something. It’s the unexpected ‘I love you’ that really gets men feeling amazing. Hearing a woman say “I love you” after a fight makes a man feel appreciative, special and romantic — especially when it is said from the heart.
It’s quite simple to make a man feel romantic. In so many ways, it is no different than the things a man can do to make you feel romantic. A lot of couples make the mistake of not doing these kind of things on a regular basis, and the romance dies as a result. It is the little things that make each other feel great and make each other feel romantic.
So if you are in a relationship that’s stagnant, feels like it’s just not ‘clicking’ anymore or in which the romance has died, then using even one or two of these tips will help you get the fire burning again. When you start doing romantic things for someone else and see their reaction, it will make you feel more romantic too.
Want to know if the guy you’re with is really the romantic type — or how to know right away when you meet a guy if he is commitment material? Then CLICK HERE to find out.
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